the choir invisible-第6章

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　down　to　mud　and　stagnant　shallows　and　a　swarm　of　stinging　insects？　At　last　she　spoke；　but　with　difficulty：〃I　have　known　for　a　year　that　you　were　interested　in　Amy。　You　could　not　have　been　here　so　much　without　our　seeing　that。　But　let　me　ask　you　one　question：　Have　you　ever　thought　that　I　wished　you　to　marry　her？〃　〃I　have　always　beheld　in　you　an　unmasked　enemy；〃　he　replied；　smiling。

〃Then　I　can　go　on；〃　she　said。　〃But　I　feel　as　though　never　in　my　life　have　I　done　a　thing　that　is　as　near　being　familiar　and　unwomanly。　Nevertheless；　for　your　sakefor　hersfor　oursit　is　my　plain；　hard　duty　to　ask　you　whether　you　are　sureeven　if　you　should　have　her　consentthat　my　niece　is　the　woman　you　ought　to　marry。〃　And　she　lifted　to　him　her　clear；　calm　eyes；　prematurely　old　in　the　experience　of　life。

〃I　am　sure；〃　he　answered　with　the　readiness　of　one　who　has　foreseen　the　question。

The　negro　boy　approached　with　a　bucket　of　cold　crystal　water；　and　he　drank　a　big　gourd　full　of　it　gratefully。

〃You　can　go　and　kindle　the　fire　in　the　kitchen；〃　she　said　to　the　negro。　〃It　is　nearly　time　to　be　getting　supper。　I　will　be　in　by　and　by。〃

〃You　have　been　with　her　so　much！〃　she　continued　to　Gray　after　another　interval　of　embarrassment。　〃And　you　know；　or　you　ought　to　know；　her　disposition；　her　tastes；　her　ways　and　views　of　life。　Is　she　the　companion　you　need　now？　will　always　need？〃

〃I　have　been　much　with　her；〃　he　replied；　taking　up　her　words　with　humorous　gravity。　〃But　I　have　never　studied　her　as　I　have　studied　law。　I　have　never　cross…examined　her　for　a　witness；　or　prosecuted　her　as　an　attorney；　or　pronounced　sentence　on　her　is　a　judge。　I　am　her　advocateand　I　am　ready　to　defend　her　noweven　to　you！〃　〃John！〃〃I　love　herthat　is　all　there　is　of　it！〃

〃Suppose　you　wait　a　little　longer。〃

〃I　have　waited　too　long　already　from　necessity。〃　It　was　on　his　lips　to　add：　〃I　have　gone　too　far　with　her；　it　is　too　late　to　retreat；〃　but　he　checked　himself。

〃If　I　should　feel；　then；　that　I　must　withhold　my　consent？〃

He　grew　serious；　and　after　the　silence　of　a　few　moments；　he　said　with　great　respect：〃I　should　be　sorry；　but〃　and　then　he　forbore。

〃If　Major　Falconer　should　withhold　his？〃　He　shook　his　head；　and　set　his　lips；　turning　his　face　away　through　courtesy。　〃It　would　make　no　difference！　　Nothing　would　make　any　difference！〃　and　then　another　silence　followed。　〃I　suppose　all　this　would　be　considered　the　proof　that　you　loved　her；〃　she　began　at　length；　despairingly；　〃but　even　love　is　not　enough　to　begin　with；　much　less　is　it　enough　to　live　by。〃

〃You　don't　appreciate　her！　You　don't　do　her　justice！〃　he　cried　rudely。　〃But　perhaps　no　woman　can　ever　understand　why　a　man　loves　any　other　woman！〃　〃I　am　not　thinking　of　why　you　love　my　niece；〃　she　replied；　with　a　curl　of　pride　in　her　nostril　and　a　flash　of　anger　in　her　eyes。　〃I　am　thinking　of　why　you　will　cease　to　love　her；　and　why　you　will　both　be　unhappy　if　you　marry　her。　It　is　not　my　duty　to　analyze　your　affections；　it　is　my　duty　to　take　care　of　her　welfare。〃〃My　dear　friend；〃　he　cried；　his　face　aglow　with　impatient　enthusiasm　〃my　dear　friend〃　and　he　suddenly　lifted　her　hand　to　his　lips；　〃I　have　but　one　anxiety　in　the　whole　matter：　will　you　cease　to　be　my　friend　if　I　act　in　opposition　to　your　wishes？〃　〃Should　I　cease　to　be　your　friend　because　you　had　made　a　mistake？　It　is　not　to　me　you　are　unkind；〃　she　answered；　quickly　withdrawing　her　hand。　Spots　of　the　palest　rose　appeared　on　her　cheeks；　and　she　bent　over　and　picked　up　the　rake；　and　began　to　work。

〃I　must　be　going；〃　he　said　awkwardly；　〃it　is　getting　late。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　〃it　is　getting　late。〃

Still　he　lingered；　swinging　his　hat　in　his　hand；　ill　at　case；　with　his　face　set　hard　away。　〃Is　that　all　you　have　to　say　to　me？〃　he　asked　at　length；　wheeling　and　looking　her　steadily　and　fondly　in　the　eyes。

〃That　is　all；〃　she　replied；　controlling　the　quiver　in　her　voice；　but　then　letting　herself　go　a　little；　she　added　with　slow　distinctness：　〃You　might　remember　this：　some　women　in　marrying　demand　all　and　give　all：　with　good　men　they　are　the　happy；　with　base　men　they　are　the　brokenhearted。　Some　demand　everything　and　give　little：　with　weak　men　they　are　tyrants；　with　strong　men　they　are　the　divorced。　Some　demand　little　and　give　all：　with　congenial　souls　they　are　already　in　heaven；　with　uncongenial　they　are　soon　in　their　graves。　Some　give　little　and　demand　little：　they　are　the　heartless；　and　they　bring　neither　the　joy　of　life　nor　the　peace　of　death。〃　〃And　which　of　these　is　Amy？〃　he　said；　after　a　minute　of　reflection。　〃And　which　of　the　men　am　I？〃　〃Don't　ask　her　to　marry　you　until　you　find　out　both；〃　she　answered。

She　watched　him　as　he　strode　away　from　her　across　the　clearing；　with　a　look　in　her　eyes　that　she　knew　nothing　ofwatched　him；　motionless；　until　his　tall；　black　figure　passed　from　sight　behind　the　green　sunlit　wall　of　the　wilderness。　What　undisciplined；　unawakened　strength　there　was　in　him！　how　far　such　a　stride　as　that　would　carry　him　on　in　life！　It　was　like　the　tread　of　one　of　his　own　forefathers　in　Cromwell's　unconquer…able；　hymn…singing　armies。　She　loved　to　think　of　him　as　holding　his　descent　from　a　line　so　pious　and　so　grim：　it　served　to　account　to　her　for　the　quality　of　stern；　spiritual　soldiership　that　still　seemed　to　be　the　mastering　trait　of　his　nature。　How　long　would　it　remain　so；　was　the　question　that　she　had　often　asked　of　herself。　A　fighter　in　the　world　he　would　always　beshe　felt　sure　of　that；　nor　was　it　necessary　to　look　into　his　past　to　obtain　this　assurance；　one　had　but　to　look　into　his　eyes。　Moreover；　she　had　little　doubt　that　with　a　temper　so　steadily　bent　on　conflict；　he　would　never　suffer　defeat　where　his　own　utmost　strength　was　all　that　was　needed　to　conquer。　But　as　he　grew　older；　and　the　world　in　part　conquered　him　as　it　conquers　so　many　of　us；　would　he　go　into　his　later　battles　as　he　had　entered　his　earlier　onesto　the　measure　of　a　sacred　chant？　Beneath　the　sweat　and　wounds　of　all　his　victories　would　he　carry　the　white　lustre　of　conscience；　burning　untarnished　in　him　to　the　end？

It　was　this　religious　purity　of　his　nature　and　his　life；　resting　upon　him　as　a　mantle　visible　to　all　eyes　but　invisible　to　him；　that　had；　as　she　believed；　attracted　her　to　him　so　powerfully。　On　that　uncouth　border　of　Western　civilization；　to　which　they　had　both　been　cast；　he　was　a　little　lonely　in　his　way；　she　in　hers；　and　this　fact　had　drawn　them　somewhat　together。　He　was　a　scholar；　she　a　reader；　that　too　had　formed　a　bond。　He　had　been　much　at　their　home　as　lover　of　her　niece；　and　this　intimacy　had　given　her　a　good　chance　to　take　his　wearing　measure　as　a　man。　But　over　and　above　all　other　things；　it　was　the　effect　of　the　unfallen　in　him；　of　the　highest　keeping　itself　above　assault；　of　his　first　youth　never　yet　brushed　away　as　a　bloom；　that　constituted　to　her　his　distinction　among　the　men　that　she　had　known。　It　served　to　place　him　in　contrast　with　the　colonial　Virginia　society　of　her　remembrancea　society　in　which　even　the　minds　of　the　clergy　were　not　like　a　lawn　scentless　with　the　dew　on　it；　but　like　a　lawn　parched　by　the　afternoon　sun　and　full　of　hot　odours。　It　kept　him　aloof　from　the　loose　ways　of　the　young　backwoodsmen　and　aristocrats　of　the　town；　with　whom　otherwise　he　closely　mingled。　It　gave　her　the　right；　she　thought；　to　indulge　a　friendship　for　him　such　as　she　had　never　felt　for　any　other　man；　and　in　this　friendship　it　made　it　easier　for　her　to　overlook　a　great　deal　that　was　rude　in　him；　headstrong；　overbearing。

When；　this　afternoon；　he　had　asked　her　what　she　was　thinking　of　when　he　surprised　her　with　his　visit；　she　had　not　replied：　she　could　not　have　avowed　even　to　herself　that　she　was　thinking　of　such　things　as　these：　that　having；　for　some　years；　drawn　out　a　hard；　dull　life　in　that　settlement　of　pathfinders；　trappers；　woodchoppers；　hunters；　Indian　fighters；　surveyors；　having　afterwards；　with　little　interest；　watched　them；　one　by　one；　as　the　earliest　types　of　civilization　followed；the　merchant；　the　lawyer；　the　priest；　the　preacher　of　the　Gospel；　the　soldiers　and　officers　of　the　Revolution；at　last；　through　all　the　wilderness；　as　it　now　fondly　seemed　to　her；　she　saw　shining　the　white　light　of　his　long　absent　figure；　bringing　a　new　melody　to　the　woods；　a　ne