the choir invisible-第41章
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s one thing you need to knowall of us need to know itand to know it well。〃Ideals are of two kinds。 There are those that correspond to our highest sense of perfection。 They express what we might be were life； the world； ourselves； all different； all better。 Let these be high as they may！ They are not useless because unattainable。 Life is not a failure because they are never attained。 God Himself requires of us the unattainable： 'Be ye perfect； even as I am perfect！ He could not do less。 He commands perfection； He forgives us that we are not perfect！ Nor does He count us failures because we have to be forgiven。 Our ideals also demand of us perfectionthe impossible； but because we come far short of this we have no right to count ourselves as failures。 What are they likeideals such as these？ They are like light…houses。 But light…houses are not made to live in； neither can we live in such ideals。 I suppose they are meant to shine on us from afar； when the sea of our life is dark and stormy； perhaps to remind us of a haven of hope； as we drift or sink in shipwreck。 All of your ideals are lighthouses。 〃But there are ideals of another sort； it is these that you lack。 As we advance into life； out of larger experience of the world and of ourselves； are unfolded the ideals of what will be possible to us if we make the best use of the world and of ourselves； taken as we are。 Let these be as high as they may； they will always be lower than those others which are perhaps the veiled intimations of our immortality。 These will always be imperfect； but life is not a failure because they are so。 It is these that are to burn for us； not like light…houses in the distance； but like candles in our hands。 For so many of us they are too much like candles！the longer they burn； the lower they burn； until before death they go out altogether！ But I know that it will not be thus with you。 At first you will have disappoint…ments and sufferingsthe world on one side； unattainable ideals of perfection on the other。 But by degrees the comforting light of what you may actually do and be in an imperfect world will shine close to you and all around you； more and more。 It is this that will lead you never to perfection； but always toward it。〃
He bowed his head： the only answer he could make。
It was getting late。 The sun at this moment passed behind the western tree…tops。 It was the old customary signal for him to go。 They suddenly looked at each other in that shadow。 〃I shall always think of you for your last words to me；〃 he said in a thick voice； rising。 〃Some day you will find the woman who will be a candle；〃 she replied sadly； rising also。 Then with her lips trembling； she added piteously：
〃Oh； if you ever marry； don't make the mistake of treating the woman as an ideal Treat her in every way as a human being exactly like yourself！ With the same weakness； the same strug…les； the same temptations！ And as you have some mercy on yourself despite your faults； have some mercy on her despite hers。〃
〃Must I ever think of you as having been weak and tempted as I have been？〃 he cried； the guilty blood rushing into his face in the old struggle to tell her everything。 〃Oh； as for mewhat do you know of me！〃 she cried； laughing。 And then more quickly： 〃I have read your face！ What do you read in mine？〃 He looked long into it： 〃All that I have most wished to see in the face of any womanexcept one thing！〃 〃What is that？ But don't tell me！〃
She turned away toward the garden gate。 In silence they passed outwalking toward the edge of the clearing。 Half…way she paused。 He lifted his hat and held out his hand。 She laid hers in it and they gave each other the long clinging grasp of affection。〃Always be a good man；〃 she said； tightening her grasp and turning her face away。
As he was hurrying off； she called to him in a voice full of emotion：
〃Come back！〃
He wheeled and walked towards her blindly。
She scanned his face； feature by feature。
〃Take off your hat！〃 she said with a tremulous little laugh。 He did so and she looked at his forehead and his hair。
〃Go now； dear friend！〃 she said calmly but quickly。
XXI
It was the morning of the wedding。
According to the usage of the time the marriage ceremony was to take place early in the forenoon； in order that the guests； gathered in from distant settlements of the wilderness； might have a day for festivity and still reach home before night。 Late in the afternoon the bridal couple； escorted by many friends； were to ride into town to Joseph's house； and in the evening there was to be a house…warming。
The custom of the backwoods country ran that a man must not be left to build his house alone； and one day some weeks before this wagons had begun to roll in from this direction and that direction out of the forest； hauling the logs for Joseph's cabin。 Then with loud laughter and the writhing of tough backs and the straining of powerful arms and legs； men old； middle…aged； and young had raised the house like overgrown boys at play； and then had returned to their own neglected business： so that to him was left only the finishing。He had finished it and furnished it for the simple scant needs of pioneer life。But on this； his wedding morning； he had hardly left the town； escorted by friends on horseback； before many who had variously excused themselves from going began to issue from their homes： women carrying rolls of linen and pones of bread； boys with huge joints of jerked meat and dried tongues of the buffalo； bear； and deer。 There was a noggin； a piggin； a churn； a homemade chair； there was a quilt from a grandmother and a pioneer cradlea mere trough scooped out of a walnut log。 An old pioneer sent the antlers of a stag for a hat…rack； and a buffalo rug for the young pair to lie warm under of bitter； winter nights； his wife sent a spinning…wheel and a bundle of shingles for johnny…cakes。 Some of the merchants gave packages of Philadelphia groceries； some of the aristo…cratic families parted with heirlooms that had been laboriously brought over the mountainsa cup and saucer of Sevres； a pair of tall brass candlesticks； and a Venus …mirror framed in ebony。 It was about three o'clock in the afternoon when John Gray jumped on the back of a strong trusty horse at the stable of the Indian Queen； leaned over to shake the hands of the friends who had met there to see him off； and turned his horse's head in the direction of the path that led to the Wilderness Road。
But when he had gone about a mile； he struck into the forest at right angles and rode across the country until he reached that green woodland pathway which led from the home of the Falconers to the public road between Lexington and Frankfort。 He tied his horse some distance away； and walking back； sat down on the roots of an oak and waited。
It was a day when the beauty of the earth makes itself felt like ravishing music that has no sound。 The air； warm and full of summer fragrance； was of that ethereal untinged clearness which spreads over all things the softness of velvet。 The far…vaulted heavens； so bountiful of light； were an illimitable weightless curtain of pale…blue velvet； the rolling clouds were of white velvet； the grass； the stems of bending wild flowers； the drooping sprays of woodland foliage； were so many forms of emerald velvet； the gnarled trunks of the trees were gray and brown velvet； the wings and breasts of the birds； flitting hither and thither； were of gold and scarlet velvet； the butterflies were stemless； floating velvet blossoms。〃Farewell； Kentucky！ farewell！〃 he said； looking about him at it all。 Two hours passed。 The shadows were lengthening rapidly。 Over the forest； like the sigh of a spirit； swept from out the west the first intimation of waning light； of the mysteries of coming darkness。 At last there reached his ear from far down the woodland path the sounds of voices and laughteragain and againlouder and louderand then through the low thick boughs he caught glimpses of them coming。 Now beneath the darker arches of the trees； now across pale…green spaces shot by slanting sunbeams。 Once there was a halt and a merry outcry。 Long grape…vines from opposite sides of the road had been tied across it； and this barrier had to
