the choir invisible-第18章
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Life to him meant a simple straightforward game played with a few well…known principles。 It must be as open as a chess…board： each player should see every move of the other： and all who chose could look on。
He was still very young。
X THE glimmer of gray dawn at last and he had never moved from his seat。 A fine； drizzling rain had set in。 Clouds of mist brushed against the walls of his cabin。 In the stillness he could hear the big trees shedding their drops from leaf to bending leaf and the musical tinkle of these as they took their last leap into little pools below。 With the chilliness which misery brings he got up at last and wrapped his weather…coat about him。 If it were only day when he could go to his work and try to forget！ Restless； sleepless； unable to read； tired of sitting； driven on by the desire to get rid of his own thoughts； he started out to walk。 As he passed his school…house he noticed that the door of it； always fastened by a simple latch； now stood open； and he went over to see if everything inside were in order。 All his life； when any trouble had come upon him； he had quickly returned to his nearest post of duty like a soldier； and once in the school…room now； he threw himself down in his chair with the sudden feeling that here in his familiar work he must still find his homethe home of his mind and his affectionsas so long in the past。 The mere aspect of the poor bare place had never been so kind。 The very walls appeared to open to him like a refuge； to enfold themselves around him with friendly strength and understanding。
He sat at the upper end of the room； gazing blankly through the doorway at the gray light and clouds of white mist trailing。 Once an object came into the field of his vision。 At the first glimpse he thought it a doglong； lean； skulking； prowling； tawnyon the scent of his tracks。 Then the mist passed over it。 When he beheld it again it had approached nearer and was creeping rapidly toward the door。 His listless eyes grew fascinated by its motionsits litheness； suppleness； grace； stealth； exquisite caution。 Never before had he seen a dog with the step of a cat。 A second time the fog closed over it； and then； advancing right out of the cloud with more swiftness； more cunning； its large feet falling as lightly as flakes of snow； the weight of its huge body borne forward as noiselessly as the trailing mist； it came straight on。 It reached the hickory block； which formed the doorstep； it paused there an instant； with its fore quarters in the doorway； one fore foot raised； the end of its long tail waving； and then it stole just over the threshold and crouched； its head pressed down until its long； whitish throat lay on the floor； its short； jagged ears set forward stiffly like the broken points of a javelin； its dilated eye blazing with steady green fireas still as death。 And then with his blood become as ice in his veins from horror and all the strength gone out of him in a deathlike faintness； the school… master realized that he was face to face unarmed with a cougar； gaunt with famine and come for its kill。
This dreaded animal； the panther or painter of the backwoodsman； which has for its kindred the royal tiger and the fatal leopard of the Old World； the beautiful ocelot and splendid unconquerable jaguar of the New； is now rarely found in the Atlantic States or the fastnesses of the Alleghanies。 It too has crossed the Mississippi and is probably now best known as the savage puma of more southern zones。 But a hundred years ago it abounded throughout the Western wilderness； making its deeper dens in the caverns of mountain rocks； its lair in the impenetrable thickets of bramble and brakes of cane； or close to miry swamps and watery everglades； and no other region was so loved by it as the vast game park of the Indians； where reined a semi…tropical splendour and luxuriance of vegetation and where； protected from time immemorial by the Indian hunters themselves； all the other animals thatconstitute its prey roved and ranged in unimaginable numbers。 To the earliest Kentuckians who cut their way into this； the most royal jungle of the New World； to wrest it from the Indians and subdue it for wife and child； it was the noiseless nocturnal cougar that filled their imaginations with the last degree of dread。 To them its crymost peculiar and startling at the love season； at other times described as like the wail of a child or of a traveller lost in the woodsaroused more terror than the nearest bark of the wolf； its stealth and cunning more than the strength and courage and address of the bear； its attack more than the rush of the majestic； resistless bison； or the furious pass with antlers lowered of the noble； ambereyed； infuriated elk。 Hidden as still as an adder in long grass of its own hue； or squat on a log； or amid the foliage of a sloping tree； it waited around the salt licks and the springs and along the woodland pathways for the other wild creatures。 It possessed the strength to kill and drag a heifer to its lair； it would leap upon the horse of a traveller and hang there unshaken； while with fang and claw it lacerated the hind quarters and the flanksas the tiger of India tries to hamstring its nobler； unmanageable victims； or let an unwary bullock but sink a little way in a swamp and it was upon him； rending him； devouring him； in his long agony。
Some hunter once had encamped at the foot of a tree； cooked his supper； seen his fire die out and lain down to sleep； with only the infinite solitude of the woods for his blanket； with the dreary； dismal silence for his pillow。 Opening his eyes to look up for the last time at the peaceful stars； what he perceived above him were two nearer stars set close together； burning with a green light； never twinkling。 Or another was startled out of sleep by the terrible cry of his tethered horse。 Or after a long； ominous growl； the cougar had sprung against his tent； knocking it away as a squirrel would knock the thin shell from a nut to reach the kernel； or at the edge of the thicket of tall grass he had struck his foot against the skeleton of some unknown hunter； dragged down long before。
To such adventures with all their natural exaggeration John Gray had listened many a time as they were recited by old hunters regarding earlier days in the wilderness； for at this period it was thought that the cougar had retreated even from the few cane…brakes that remained unexplored near the settlements。 But the deer； timidest of animals； with fatal persistence returns again and again to its old…time ranges and coverts long after the bison； the bear； and the elk have wisely abandoned theirs； and the cougar besets the deer。
It was these stories that he remembered now and that filled him with horror； with the faintness of death。 His turn had come at last； he said； and as to the others； it had come without warning。 He was too shackled with weakness to cry out； to stand up。 The windows on each side were fastened； there was no escape。 There was nothing in the room on which he could lay holdno weapon or piece of wood； or bar of iron。 If a struggle took place； it would be a clean contest between will and will； courage and courage； strength and strength； the love of prey and the love of life。It was well for him that this was not the first time he had ever faced death； as he had supposed； and that the first thought that had rushed into his consciousness before returned to him now。 That thought was this： that death had come far too soon； putting an end to his plans to live； to act； to succeed； to make a great and a good place for himself in this world before he should leave it for another。 Out of this a second idea now liberated itself with incredible quickness and spread through him like a living flame： it was his lifelong attitude of victory； his lifelong determination that no matter what opposed him he must conquer。 Young as he was； this triumphant habit had already yielded him its due result that growth of character which arises silently within us； built up out of a myriad nameless elementsbeginning at the very bottom of the ocean of unconsciousness； growing as from cell to cell； atom to atomthe mere dust of victorious experiencethe hardening deposits o
