a mortal antipathy-第7章
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too; how long was it from the serious sunrise to the joyous 〃sun…
down〃 of an old…fashioned; puritanical; judaical first day of the
week; which a pious fraud christened 〃the Sabbath〃? Was it a
fortnight; as we now reckon duration; or only a week? Curious
entities; or non…entities; space and tithe? When you see a
metaphysician trying to wash his hands of them and get rid of these
accidents; so as to lay his dry; clean palm on the absolute; does
it not remind you of the hopeless task of changing the color of the
blackamoor by a similar proceeding? For space is the fluid in which
he is washing; and time is the soap which he is using up in the
process; and he cannot get free from them until he can wash himself
in a mental vacuum。
In my reference to the old house in a former paper; published years
ago; I said;
〃By and by the stony foot of the great University will plant itself
on this whole territory; and the private recollections which clung so
tenaciously to the place and its habitations will have died with
those who cherished them。〃
What strides the great University has taken since those words were
written! During all my early years our old Harvard Alma Mater sat
still and lifeless as the colossi in the Egyptian desert。 Then all
at once; like the statue in Don Giovanni; she moved from her
pedestal。 The fall of that 〃stony foot〃 has effected a miracle like
the harp that Orpheus played; like the teeth which Cadmus sowed。 The
plain where the moose and the bear were wandering while Shakespeare
was writing Hamlet; where a few plain dormitories and other needed
buildings were scattered about in my school…boy days; groans under
the weight of the massive edifices which have sprung up all around
them; crowned by the tower of that noble structure which stands in
full view before me as I lift my eyes from the portfolio on the back
of which I am now writing。
For I must be permitted to remind you that I have not yet opened it。
I have told you that I have just finished a long memoir; and that it
has cost me no little labor to overcome some of its difficulties;if
I have overcome them; which others must decide。 And I feel exactly
as honest Dobbin feels when his harness is slipped off after a long
journey with a good deal of up…hill work。 He wants to rest a little;
then to feed a little; then; if you will turn him loose in the
pasture; he wants to roll。 I have left my starry and ethereal
companionship;not for a long time; I hope; for it has lifted me
above my common self; but for a while。 And now I want; so to speak;
to roll in the grass and among the dandelions with the other
pachyderms。 So I have kept to the outside of the portfolio as yet;
and am disporting myself in reminiscences; and fancies; and vagaries;
and parentheses。
How well I understand the feeling which led the Pisans to load their
vessels with earth from the Holy Land; and fill the area of the Campo
Santo with that sacred soil! The old house stood upon about as
perverse a little patch of the planet as ever harbored a half…starved
earth…worm。 It was as sandy as Sahara and as thirsty as Tantalus。
The rustic aid…de…camps of the household used to aver that all
fertilizing matters 〃leached〃 through it。 I tried to disprove their
assertion by gorging it with the best of terrestrial nourishment;
until I became convinced that I was feeding the tea…plants of China;
and then I gave over the attempt。 And yet I did love; and do love;
that arid patch of ground。 I wonder if a single flower could not be
made to grow in a pot of earth from that Campo Santo of my childhood!
One noble product of nature did not refuse to flourish there;the
tall; stately; beautiful; soft…haired; many…jointed; generous maize
or Indian corn; which thrives on sand and defies the blaze of our
shrivelling summer。 What child but loves to wander in its forest…
like depths; amidst the rustling leaves and with the lofty tassels
tossing their heads high above him! There are two aspects of the
cornfield which always impress my imagination: the first when it has
reached its full growth; and its ordered ranks look like an army on
the march with its plumed and bannered battalions; the second when;
after the battle of the harvest; the girdled stacks stand on the
field of slaughter like so many ragged Niobes;say rather like the
crazy widows and daughters of the dead soldiery。
Once more let us come back to the old house。 It was far along in its
second century when the edict went forth that it must stand no
longer。
The natural death of a house is very much like that of one of its
human tenants。 The roof is the first part to show the distinct signs
of age。 Slates and tiles loosen and at last slide off; and leave
bald the boards that supported them; shingles darken and decay; and
soon the garret or the attic lets in the rain and the snow; by and by
the beams sag; the floors warp; the walls crack; the paper peels
away; the ceilings scale off and fall; the windows are crusted with
clinging dust; the doors drop from their rusted hinges; the winds
come in without knocking and howl their cruel death…songs through the
empty rooms and passages; and at last there comes a crash; a great
cloud of dust rises; and the home that had been the shelter of
generation after generation finds its grave in its own cellar。 Only
the chimney remains as its monument。 Slowly; little by little; the
patient solvents that find nothing too hard for their chemistry pick
out the mortar from between the bricks; at last a mighty wind roars
around it and rushes against it; and the monumental relic crashes
down among the wrecks it has long survived。 So dies a human
habitation left to natural decay; all that was seen above the surface
of the soil sinking gradually below it;
Till naught remains the saddening tale to tell
Save home's last wrecks; the cellar and the well。
But if this sight is saddening; what is it to see a human dwelling
fall by the hand of violence! The ripping off of the shelter that
has kept out a thousand storms; the tearing off of the once
ornamental woodwork; the wrench of the inexorable crowbar; the
murderous blows of the axe; the progressive ruin; which ends by
rending all the joints asunder and flinging the tenoned and mortised
timbers into heaps that will be sawed and split to warm some new
habitation as firewood;what a brutal act of destruction it seems!
Why should I go over the old house again; having already described it
more than ten years ago? Alas! how many remember anything they read
but once; and so long ago as that? How many would find it out if one
should say over in the same words that which he said in the last
decade? But there is really no need of telling the story a second
time; for it can be found by those who are curious enough to look it
up in a volume of which it occupies the opening chapter。
In order; however; to save any inquisitive reader that trouble; let
me remind him that the old house was General Ward's headquarters at
the breaking out of the Revolution; that the plan for fortifying
Bunker's Hill was laid; as commonly believed; in the southeast lower
room; the floor of which was covered with dents; made; it was
alleged; by the butts of the soldiers' muskets。 In that house; too;
General Warren probably passed the night before the Bunker Hill
battle; and over its threshold must the stately figure of Washington
have often cast its shadow。
But the house in which one drew his first breath; and where he one
day came into the consciousness that he was a personality; an ego; a
little universe with a sky over him all his own; with a persistent
identity; with the terrible responsibility of a separate;
independent; inalienable existence;that house does not ask for any
historical associations to make it the centre of the earth for him。
If there is any person in the world to be envied; it i