a mortal antipathy-第6章

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Yes；　my　life　is　a　little　less　precious　to　me　since　I　have　lost　that

dear　old　friend；　and　when　the　funeral　train　moves　to　Westminster

Abbey　next　Saturday；　for　I　feel　as　if　this　were　1784；　and　not　1884；

I　seem　to　find　myself　following　the　hearse；　one　of　the　silent

mourners。



Among　the　events　which　have　rendered　the　past　year　memorable　to　me

has　been　the　demolition　of　that　venerable　and　interesting　old

dwelling…house；　precious　for　its　intimate　association　with　the

earliest　stages　of　the　war　of　the　Revolution；　and　sacred　to　me　as　my

birthplace　and　the　home　of　my　boyhood。



The　〃Old　Gambrel…roofed　House〃　exists　no　longer。　　I　remember　saying

something；　in　one　of　a　series　of　papers　published　long　ago；　about　the

experience　of　dying　out　of　a　house；of　leaving　it　forever；　as　the

soul　dies　out　of　the　body。　　We　may　die　out　of　many　houses；　but　the

house　itself　can　die　but　once；　and　so　real　is　the　life　of　a　house　to

one　who　has　dwelt　in　it；　more　especially　the　life　of　the　house　which

held　him　in　dreamy　infancy；　in　restless　boyhood；　in　passionate

youth；so　real；　I　say；　is　its　life；　that　it　seems　as　if　something

like　a　soul　of　it　must　outlast　its　perishing　frame。



The　slaughter　of　the　Old　Gambrel…roofed　House　was；　I　am　ready　to

admit；　a　case　of　justifiable　domicide。　　Not　the　less　was　it　to　be

deplored　by　all　who　love　the　memories　of　the　past。　　With　its

destruction　are　obliterated　some　of　the　footprints　of　the　heroes　and

martyrs　who　took　the　first　steps　in　the　long　and　bloody　march　which

led　us　through　the　wilderness　to　the　promised　land　of　independent

nationality。　　Personally；　I　have　a　right　to　mourn　for　it　as　a　part　of

my　life　gone　from　me。　　My　private　grief　for　its　loss　would　be　a

matter　for　my　solitary　digestion；　were　it　not　that　the　experience

through　which　I　have　just　passed　is　one　so　familiar　to　my　fellow…

countrymen　that；　in　telling　my　own　reflections　and　feelings；　I　am

repeating　those　of　great　numbers　of　men　and　women　who　have　had　the

misfortune　to　outlive　their　birthplace。



It　is　a　great　blessing　to　be　born　surrounded　by　a　natural　horizon。

The　Old　Gambrel…roofed　House　could　not　boast　an　unbroken　ring　of

natural　objects　encircling　it。　　Northerly　it　looked　upon　its　own

outbuildings　and　some　unpretending　two…story　houses　which　had　been

its　neighbors　for　a　century　and　more。　　To　the　south　of　it　the　square

brick　dormitories　and　the　belfried　hall　of　the　university　helped　to

shut　out　the　distant　view。　　But　the　west　windows　gave　a　broad　outlook

across　the　common；　beyond　which　the　historical　〃Washington　elm〃　and

two　companions　in　line　with　it；　spread　their　leaves　in　summer　and

their　networks　in　winter。　　And　far　away　rose　the　hills　that　bounded

the　view；　with　the　glimmer　here　and　there　of　the　white　walls　or　the

illuminated　casements　of　some　embowered；　half…hidden　villa。

Eastwardly　also；　the　prospect　was；　in　my　earlier　remembrance；　widely

open；　and　I　have　frequently　seen　the　sunlit　sails　gliding　along　as　if

through　the　level　fields；　for　no　water　was　visible。　　So　there　were

broad　expanses　on　two　sides　at　least；　for　my　imagination　to　wander

over。



I　cannot　help　thinking　that　we　carry　our　childhood's　horizon　with　us

all　our　days。　　Among　these　western　wooded　hills　my　day…dreams　built

their　fairy　palaces；　and　even　now；　as　I　look　at　them　from　my　library

window；　across　the　estuary　of　the　Charles；　I　find　myself　in　the

familiar　home　of　my　early　visions。　　The　〃clouds　of　glory〃　which　we

trail　with　us　in　after　life　need　not　be　traced　to　a　pre…natal　state。

There　is　enough　to　account　for　them　in　that　unconsciously　remembered

period　of　existence　before　we　have　learned　the　hard　limitations　of

real　life。　　Those　earliest　months　in　which　we　lived　in　sensations

without　words；　and　ideas　not　fettered　in　sentences；　have　all　the

freshness　of　proofs　of　an　engraving　〃before　the　letter。〃　　I　am　very

thankful　that　the　first　part　of　my　life　was　not　passed　shut　in

between　high　walls　and　treading　the　unimpressible　and　unsympathetic

pavement。



Our　university　town　was　very　much　like　the　real　country；　in　those

days　of　which　I　am　thinking。　　There　were　plenty　of　huckleberries　and

blueberries　within　half　a　mile　of　the　house。　　Blackberries　ripened　in

the　fields；　acorns　and　shagbarks　dropped　from　the　trees；　squirrels

ran　among　the　branches；　and　not　rarely　the　hen…hawk　might　be　seen

circling　over　the　barnyard。　　Still　another　rural　element　was　not

wanting；　in　the　form　of　that　far…diffused；　infragrant　effluvium；

which；　diluted　by　a　good　half　mile　of　pure　atmosphere；　is　no　longer

odious；　nay　is　positively　agreeable；　to　many　who　have　long　known　it；

though　its　source　and　centre　has　an　unenviable　reputation。　　I　need

not　name　the　animal　whose　Parthian　warfare　terrifies　and　puts　to

flight　the　mightiest　hunter　that　ever　roused　the　tiger　from　his

jungle　or　faced　the　lion　of　the　desert。　　Strange　as　it　may　seem；　an

aerial　hint　of　his　personality　in　the　far　distance　always　awakens　in

my　mind　pleasant　remembrances　and　tender　reflections。　　A　whole

neighborhood　rises　up　before　me：　the　barn；　with　its　haymow；　where　the

hens　laid　their　eggs　to　hatch；　and　we　boys　hid　our　apples　to　ripen；

both　occasionally　illustrating　the　sic　vos　non　vobis；　the　shed；　where

the　annual　Tragedy　of　the　Pig　was　acted　with　a　realism　that　made

Salvini's　Othello　seem　but　a　pale　counterfeit；　the　rickety　old

outhouse；　with　the　〃corn…chamber〃　which　the　mice　knew　so　well；　the

paved　yard；　with　its　open　gutter；these　and　how　much　else　come　up　at

the　hint　of　my　far…off　friend；　who　is　my　very　near　enemy。　　Nothing　is

more　familiar　than　the　power　of　smell　in　reviving　old　memories。

There　was　that　quite　different　fragrance　of　the　wood…house；　the　smell

of　fresh　sawdust。　　It　comes　back　to　me　now；　and　with　it　the　hiss　of

the　saw；　the　tumble　of　the　divorced　logs　which　God　put　together　and

man　has　just　put　asunder；　the　coming　down　of　the　axe　and　the　hah！

that　helped　it；the　straight…grained　stick　opening　at　the　first

appeal　of　the　implement　as　if　it　were　a　pleasure；　and　the　stick　with

a　knot　in　the　middle　of　it　that　mocked　the　blows　and　the　hahs！　　until

the　beetle　and　wedge　made　it　listen　to　reason；there　are　just　such

straight…grained　and　just　such　knotty　men　and　women。　　All　this　passes

through　my　mind　while　Biddy；　whose　parlor…name　is　Angela；　contents

herself　with　exclaiming　〃egh！*******！〃



How　different　distances　were　in　those　young　days　of　which　I　am

thinking！　　From　the　old　house　to　the　old　yellow　meeting…house；　where

the　head　of　the　family　preached　and　the　limbs　of　the　family　listened；

was　not　much　more　than　two　or　three　times　the　width　of　Commonwealth

Avenue。　　But　of　a　hot　summer's　afternoon；　after　having　already　heard

one　sermon；　which　could　not　in　the　nature　of　things　have　the　charm　of

novelty　of　presentation　to　the　members　of　the　home　circle；　and　the

theology　of　which　was　not　too　clear　to　tender　apprehensions；　with

three　hymns　more　or　less　lugubrious；　rendered　by　a　village…choir；　got

into　voice　by　many　preliminary　snuffles　and　other　expiratory　efforts；

and　accompanied　by　the　snort　of　a　huge　bassviol　which　wallowed

through　the　tune　like　a　hippopotamus；　with　other　exercises　of　the

customary　character；after　all　this　in　the　forenoon；　the　afternoon

walk　to　the　meeting…house　in　the　hot　sun　counted　for　as　much；　in　my

childish　dead…reckoning；　as　from　old　Israel　Porter's　in　Cambridge　to

the　Exchange　Coffeehouse　in　Boston　did　in　after　years。　　It　takes　a

good　while　to　measure　the　radius　of　the　circle　that　is　about　us；　for

the　moon　seems　at　first　as　near　as　the　watchface。　　Who　knows　but

that；　after　a　certain　number　of　ages；　the　planet　we　live　on　may　seem

to　us　no　bigger　than　our　neighbor　Venus　appeared　when　she　passed

before　the　sun　a　few　months　ago；　looking　as　if　we　could　take　her

between　our　thumb　and　finger；　like　a　bullet　or　a　marble？　　And　time；

too；　how　long　was　it　from　the　serious　sunrise　to　the　joyous　〃sun…

down〃　of　an　old…fashioned；　puritanical；　judaical　first　day　of　the