white lies-第41章

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ealous　after　all；〃　thought　she。

Josephine　left　her　room　this　day　and　mingled　once　more　with　the　family。　　The　bare　sight　of　her　was　enough　for　Camille　at　first；　but　after　awhile　he　wanted　more。　　He　wanted　to　be　often　alone　with　her；　but　several　causes　co…operated　to　make　her　shy　of　giving　him　many　such　opportunities：　first；　her　natural　delicacy；　coupled　with　her　habit　of　self…denial；　then　her　fear　of　shocking　her　mother；　and　lastly　her　fear　of　her　own　heart；　and　of　Camille；　whose　power　over　her　she　knew。　　For　Camille；　when　he　did　get　a　sweet　word　alone　with　her；　seemed　to　forget　everything　except　that　she　was　his　betrothed；　and　that　he　had　come　back　alive　to　marry　her。　　He　spoke　to　her　of　his　love　with　an　ardor　and　an　urgency　that　made　her　thrill　with　happiness；　but　at　the　same　time　shrink　with　a　certain　fear　and　self…　reproach。　　Possessed　with　a　feeling　no　stronger　than　hers；　but　single；　he　did　not　comprehend　the　tumult；　the　trouble；　the　daily　contest　in　her　heart。　　The　wind　seemed　to　him　to　be　always　changing；　and　hot　and　cold　the　same　hour。　　Since　he　did　not　even　see　that　she　was　acting　in　hourly　fear　of　her　mother's　eye；　he　was　little　likely　to　penetrate　her　more　hidden　sentiments；　and　then　he　had　not　touched　her　key…note；self…denial。

Women　are　self…denying　and　uncandid。　　Men　are　self…indulgent　and　outspoken。

And　this　is　the　key　to　a　thousand　double　misunderstandings；　for　believe　me；　good　women　are　just　as　stupid　in　misunderstanding　men　as　honest　men　are　in　misunderstanding　women。

To　Camille；　Josephine's　fluctuations；　joys；　tremors；　love；　terror；　modesty；　seemed　one　grand　total；　caprice。　　The　component　parts　of　it　he　saw　not；　and　her　caprice　tortured　him　almost　to　madness。　　Too　penitent　to　give　way　again　to　violent　passion；　he　gently　fretted。　His　health　retrograded　and　his　temper　began　to　sour。　　The　eye　of　timid　love　that　watched　him　with　maternal　anxiety　from　under　its　long　lashes　saw　this　with　dismay；　and　Rose；　who　looked　into　her　sister's　bosom；　devoted　herself　once　more　to　soothe　him　without　compromising　Josephine's　delicacy。　　Matters　were　not　so　bad　but　what　a　fine　sprightly　girl　like　Rose　could　cheer　up　a　dejected　but　manly　colonel；　and　Rose　was　generally　successful。

But　then；　unfortunately；　this　led　to　a　fresh　mystification。　Riviere's　natural　jealousy　revived；　and　found　constant　food　in　the　attention　Rose　paid　Camille；　a　brilliant　colonel　living　in　the　house　while　he；　poor　wretch；　lived　in　lodgings。　　The　false　position　of　all　the　parties　brought　about　some　singular　turns。　　I　give　from　their　number　one　that　forms　a　link；　though　a　small　one；　in　my　narrative。

One　day　Edouard　came　to　tell　Rose　she　was　making　him　unhappy；　he　had　her　alone　in　the　Pleasaunce；　she　received　him　with　a　radiant　smile；　and　they　had　a　charming　talk；a　talk　all　about　HIM：　what　the　family　owed　him；　etc。

On　this；　his　late　jealousy　and　sense　of　injury　seemed　a　thing　of　three　years　ago；　and　never　to　return。　　So　hard　it　is　for　the　loving　heart　to　resist　its　sun。

Jacintha　came　with　a　message　from　the　colonel：　〃Would　it　be　agreeable　to　Mademoiselle　Rose　to　walk　with　him　at　the　usual　hour？〃

〃Certainly；〃　said　Rose。

As　Jacintha　was　retiring　Edouard　called　to　her　to　stop　a　minute。

Then；　turning　to　Rose；　he　begged　her　very　ceremoniously　to　reconsider　that　determination。

〃What　determination？〃

〃To　sacrifice　me　to　this　Colonel　Dujardin。〃　　Still　politely；　only　a　little　grimly。

Rose　opened　her　eyes。　　〃Are　you　mad？〃　inquired　she　with　quiet　hauteur。

〃Neither　mad　nor　a　fool；〃　was　the　reply。　　〃I　love　you　too　well　to　share　your　regard　with　any　one；　upon　any　terms；　least　of　all　upon　these；　that　there　is　to　be　a　man　in　the　world　at　whose　beck　and　call　you　are　to　be；　and　at　whose　orders　you　are　to　break　off　an　interview　with　me。　　Perdition！〃

〃Dear　Edouard；　what　folly！　　Can　you　suspect　me　of　discourtesy；　as　well　as　ofI　know　not　what。　　Colonel　Dujardin　will　join　us；　that　is　all；　and　we　shall　take　a　little　walk　with　him。〃

〃Not　I。　　I　decline　the　intrusion；　you　are　engaged　with　me；　and　I　have　things　to　say　to　you　that　are　not　fit　for　that　puppy　to　hear。　So　choose　between　me　and　him；　and　choose　forever。〃

Rose　colored。　　〃I　should　be　very　sorry　to　choose　either　of　you　forever；　but　for　this　afternoon　I　choose　you。〃

〃Oh；　thank　youmy　whole　life　shall　prove　my　gratitude　for　this　preference。〃

Rose　beckoned　Jacintha；　and　sent　her　with　an　excuse　to　Colonel　Dujardin。　　She　then　turned　with　an　air　of　mock　submission　to　Edouard。　　〃I　am　at　monsieur's　ORDERS。〃

Then　this　unhappy　novice；　being　naturally　good…natured；　thanked　her　again　and　again　for　her　condescension　in　setting　his　heart　at　rest。　He　proposed　a　walk；　since　his　interference　had　lost　her　one。　　She　yielded　a　cold　assent。　　This　vexed　him；　but　he　took　it　for　granted　it　would　wear　off　before　the　end　of　the　walk。　　Edouard's　heart　bounded；　but　he　loved　her　too　sincerely　to　be　happy　unless　he　could　see　her　happy　too；　the　malicious　thing　saw　this；　or　perhaps　knew　it　by　instinct；　and　by　means　of　this　good　feeling　of　his　she　revenged　herself　for　his　tyranny。　　She　tortured　him　as　only　a　woman　can　torture；　and　as　even　she　can　torture　only　a　worthy　man；　and　one　who　loves　her。　　In　the　course　of　that　short　walk　this　inexperienced　girl；　strong　in　the　instincts　and　inborn　arts　of　her　sex；　drove　pins　and　needles；　needles　and　pins；　of　all　sorts　and　sizes；　through　her　lover's　heart。

She　was　everything　by　turns；　except　kind；　and　nothing　for　long　together。　　She　was　peevish；　she　was　ostentatiously　patient　and　submissive；　she　was　inattentive　to　her　companion　and　seemingly　wrapped　up　in　contemplation　of　absent　things　and　persons；　the　colonel　to　wit；　she　was　dogged；　repulsive；　and　cold；　and　she　never　was　herself　a　single　moment。　　They　returned　to　the　gate　of　the　Pleasaunce。　　〃Well；　mademoiselle；〃　said　Riviere　very　sadly；　〃that　interloper　might　as　well　have　been　with　us。〃

〃Of　course　he　might；　and　you　would　have　lost　nothing　by　permitting　me　to　be　courteous　to　a　guest　and　an　invalid。　　If　you　had　not　played　the　tyrant；　and　taken　the　matter　into　your　own　hands；　I　should　have　found　means　to　soothe　your　jealI　mean　your　vanity；　but　you　preferred　to　have　your　own　way。　　Well；　you　have　had　it。〃

〃Yes；　mademoiselle；　you　have　given　me　a　lesson；　you　have　shown　me　how　idle　it　is　to　attempt　to　force　a　young　lady's　inclinations　in　anything。〃

He　bade　her　good…day；　and　went　away　sorrowful。

She　cut　Camille　dead　for　the　rest　of　the　day。

Next　morning；　early；　Edouard　called　expressly　to　see　her。　〃Mademoiselle　Rose；〃　said　he；　humbly；　〃I　called　to　apologize　for　the　ungentlemanly　tone　of　my　remonstrances　yesterday。〃

〃Fiddle…dee；〃　said　Rose。　　〃Don't　do　it　again；　that　is　the　best　apology。〃

〃I　am　not　likely　to　offend　so　again；〃　said　he　sadly。　　〃I　am　going　away。　　I　am　sorry　to　say　I　am　promoted；　my　new　post　is　ten　leagues。　HE　WILL　HAVE　IT　ALL　HIS　OWN　WAY　NOW。　　But　perhaps　it　is　best。　　Were　I　to　stay　here；　I　foresee　you　would　soon　lose　whatever　friendly　feeling　you　have　for　me。〃

〃Am　I　so　changeable？　　I　am　not　considered　so；〃　remonstrated　Rose；　gently。

Riviere　explained；　〃I　am　not　vain；〃　said　he；　with　that　self…　knowledge　which　is　so　general　an　attribute　of　human　beings；　〃no　man　less　so；　nor　am　I　jealous；　but　I　respect　myself；　and　I　could　never　be　content　to　share　your　time　and　your　regard　with　Colonel　Dujardin；　nor　with　a　much　better　man。　　See　now；　he　has　made　me　arrogant。　　Was　I　ever　so　before？〃

〃No！　no！　no！　and　I　forgive　you　now；　my　poor　Edouard。〃

〃He　has　made　you　cold　as　ice　to　me。〃

〃No！　that　was　my　own　wickedness　and　spitefulness。〃

〃Wickedness；　spitefulness！　they　are　not　in　your　nature。　　It　is　all　that　wretch's　doing。〃

Rose　sighed；　but　she　said　nothing；　for　she　saw　that　to　excuse　Camille　would　only　make　the　jealous　one　more　bitter　against　him。

〃Will　you　deign　to　write　to　me　at　my　new　post？　once　a　month？　in　answer　to　my　letters？〃

〃Yes；　dear。　　But　you　will　ride　over　sometimes　to　see　us。〃

〃Oh；　yes；　but　for　some　little　time　I　shall　not　be　able。　　The　duties　of　a　new　post。〃

〃Perhaps　in　a　montha　fortnight？〃

〃Sooner　perhaps；　the　moment　I　hear　that　man　is　out　of　the　house。〃

Edouard　went　away；　dogged　and　sad；　Rose　shut　herself　up　in　her　room　and　had　a　good　cry。　　In　the　afternoon