white lies-第36章

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〃Yes；　Camille；〃　said　Josephine；　in　a　whisper；　〃pity　remains；　and　remorse　and　terror　at　what　I　have　done　to　a　man　of　whom　I　was　never　worthy。〃

〃Well；　madame；　as　you　have　come　at　last　to　me；　and　even　do　me　the　honor　to　ask　me　a　favorI　shall　tryif　only　out　of　courtesyto　ah；　Josephine！　Josephine！　when　did　I　ever　refuse　you　anything？〃

At　this　Josephine　sank　into　a　chair；　and　burst　out　crying。　　Camille；　at　this；　began　to　cry　too；　and　the　two　poor　things　sat　a　long　way　from　one　another；　and　sobbed　bitterly。

The　man；　weakened　as　he　was；　recovered　his　quiet　despair　first。

〃Don't　cry　so；〃　said　he。　　〃But　tell　me　what　is　your　will；　and　I　shall　obey　you　as　I　used　before　any　one　came　between　us。〃

〃Then；　live；　Camille。　　I　implore　you　to　live。〃

〃Well；　Josephine；　since　you　care　about　it；　I　will　try　and　live。　　Why　did　not　you　come　before　and　ask　me？　　I　thought　I　was　in　your　way。　　I　thought　you　wanted　me　dead。〃

Josephine　cast　a　look　of　wonder　and　anguish　on　Camille；　but　she　said　nothing。　　She　rang　the　bell；　and；　on　Jacintha　coming　up；　despatched　her　to　Dr。　Aubertin　for　the　patient's　medicine。

〃Tell　the　doctor；〃　said　she；　〃Colonel　Dujardin　has　let　fall　the　glass。〃　　While　Jacintha　was　gone；　she　scolded　Camille　gently。　　〃How　could　you　be　so　unkind　to　the　poor　doctor　who　loves　you　so？　　Only　think：　to　throw　away　his　medicines！　　Look　at　the　ashes；　they　are　wet。　　Camille；　are　you；　too；　becoming　disingenuous？〃

Jacintha　came　in　with　the　tonic　in　a　glass；　and　retired　with　an　obeisance。　　Josephine　took　it　to　Camille。

〃Drink　with　me；　then；〃　said　he；　〃or　I　will　not　touch　it。〃　　Josephine　took　the　glass。　　〃I　drink　to　your　health；　Camille；　and　to　your　glory；　laurels　to　your　brow；　and　some　faithful　woman　to　your　heart；　who　will　make　you　forget　this　folly：　it　is　for　her　I　am　saving　you。〃　She　put　the　glass　with　well…acted　spirit　to　her　lips；　but　in　the　very　action　a　spasm　seized　her　throat　and　almost　choked　her；　she　lowered　her　head　that　he　might　not　see　her　face；　and　tried　again；　but　the　tears　burst　from　her　eyes　and　ran　into　the　liquid；　and　her　lips　trembled　over　the　brim；　and　were　paralyzed。

〃No；　no！　give　it　me！〃　he　cried；　〃there　is　a　tear　of　yours　in　it。〃　He　drank　off　the　bitter　remedy　now　as　if　it　had　been　nectar。

Josephine　blushed。

〃If　you　wanted　me　to　live；　why　did　you　not　come　here　before？〃

〃I　did　not　think　you　would　be　so　foolish；　so　wicked；　so　cruel　as　to　do　what　you　have　been　doing。〃

〃Come　and　shine　upon　me　every　day；　and　you　shall　have　no　fresh　cause　of　complaint；　things　flourish　in　the　sunshine　that　die　in　the　dark：　Rose；　it　is　as　if　the　sun　had　come　into　my　prison；　you　are　pale；　but　you　are　beautiful　as　evermore　beautiful；　what　a　sweet　dress！　so　quiet；　so　modest；　it　sets　off　your　beauty　instead　of　vainly　trying　to　vie　with　it。〃　　With　this　he　put　out　his　hand　and　took　her　gray　silk　dress；　and　went　to　kiss　it　as　a　devotee　kisses　the　altar　steps。

She　snatched　it　away　with　a　shudder。

〃Yes；　you　are　right；〃　said　she；　〃thank　you　for　noticing　my　dress；　it　is　a　beautiful　dressha！　ha！　　A　dress　I　take　a　pride　in　wearing；　and　always　shall；　I　hope。　　I　mean　to　be　buried　in　it。　　Come；　Rose。　Thank　you；　Camille；　you　are　very　good；　you　have　once　more　promised　me　to　live。　　Get　well；　come　down…stairs；　then　you　will　see　me　every　day；　you　knowthere　is　a　temptation。　　Good…by；　Camille！are　you　coming；　Rose？　　What　are　you　loitering　for？　　God　bless　you；　and　comfort　you；　and　help　you　to　forget　what　it　is　madness　to　remember！〃

With　these　wild　words　she　literally　fled；　and　in　one　moment　the　room　seemed　to　darken　to　Camille。

Outside　the　door　Josephine　caught　hold　of　Rose。　　〃Have　I　committed　myself？〃

〃Over　and　over　again。　　Do　not　look　so　terrified；　I　mean　to　me；　but　not　to　him。　　How　blind　he　is！　and　how　much　better　you　must　know　him　than　I　do　to　venture　on　such　a　transparent　deceit。　　He　believes　whatever　you　tell　him。　　He　is　all　ears　and　no　eyes。　　Yes；　love；　I　watched　him　keenly　all　the　time。　　He　really　thinks　it　is　pity　and　remorse；　nothing　more。　　My　poor　sister；　you　have　a　hard　life　to　lead；　a　hard　game　to　play；　but　so　far　you　have　succeeded；　yet　could　look　poor　Raynal　in　the　face　if　he　came　home　to…day。〃

〃Then　God　be　thanked！〃　cried　Josephine。　　〃I　am　as　happy　to…day　as　I　can　ever　hope　to　be。　　Now　let　us　go　through　the　farce　of　dressing　it　is　near　dinner…timeand　then　the　farce　of　talking；　and；　hardest　of　all；　the　farce　of　living。〃

From　that　hour　Camille　began　to　get　better　very　slowly；　yet　perceptibly。

The　doctor；　afraid　of　being　mistaken；　said　nothing　for　some　days；　but　at　last　he　announced　the　good　news　at　the　dinner…table。　　〃He　is　to　come　down…stairs　in　three　days；〃　added　the　doctor。

But　I　am　sorry　to　say　that　as　Camille's　body　strengthened　some　of　the　worst　passions　in　our　nature　attacked　him。　　Fierce　gusts　of　hate　and　love　combined　overpowered　this　man's　high　sentiments　of　honor　and　justice；　and　made　him　clench　his　teeth；　and　vow　never　to　leave　Beaurepaire　without　Josephine。　　She　had　been　his　four　years　before　she　ever　saw　this　interloper；　and　she　should　be　his　forever。　　Her　love　would　soon　revive　when　they　should　meet　every　day；　and　she　would　end　by　eloping　with　him。

Then　conscience　pricked　him；　and　reminded　him　how　and　why　Raynal　had　married　her：　for　Rose　had　told　him　all。　　Should　he　undermine　an　absent　soldier；　whose　whole　conduct　in　this　had　been　so　pure；　so　generous；　so　unselfish？

But　this　was　not　all。　　As　I　have　already　hinted；　he　was　under　a　great　personal　obligation　to　his　quondam　comrade　Raynal。　　Whenever　this　was　vividly　present　to　his　mind；　a　great　terror　fell　on　him；　and　he　would　cry　out　in　anguish；　〃Oh！　that　some　angel　would　come　to　me　and　tear　me　by　force　from　this　place！〃　　And　the　next　moment　passion　swept　over　him　like　a　flood；　and　carried　away　all　his　virtuous　resolves。　　His　soul　was　in　deep　waters；　great　waves　drove　it　to　and　fro。　　Perilous　condition；　which　seldom　ends　well。　　Camille　was　a　man　of　honor。　　In　no　other　earthly　circumstance　could　he　have　hesitated　an　instant　between　right　and　wrong。　　But　such　natures；　proof　against　all　other　temptations；　have　often　fallen；　and　will　fall；　where　sin　takes　the　angel　form　of　her　they　love。　　Yet；　of　all　men；　they　should　pray　for　help　to　stand；　for　when　they　fall　they　still　retain　one　thing　that　divides　them　from　mean　sinners。

Remorse；　the　giant　that　rends　the　great　hearts　which　mock　at　fear。

The　day　came　in　which　the　doctor　had　promised　his　patient　he　should　come　down…stairs。　　First　his　comfortable　sofa　was　taken　down　into　the　saloon　for　his　use：　then　the　patient　himself　came　down　leaning　on　the　doctor's　arm；　and　his　heart　palpitating　at　the　thought　of　the　meeting。　　He　came　into　the　room；　the　baroness　was　alone。　　She　greeted　him　kindly；　and　welcomed　him。　　Rose　came　in　soon　after　and　did　the　same。　　But　no　Josephine。　　Camille　felt　sick　at　heart。　　At　last　dinner　was　announced；　〃She　will　surely　join　us　at　dinner；〃　thought　he。　　He　cast　his　eyes　anxiously　on　the　table；　the　napkins　were　laid　for　four　only。　　The　baroness　carelessly　explained　this　to　him　as　they　sat　down。　　〃Madame　Raynal　dines　in　her　own　room。　　I　am　sorry　to　say　she　is　indisposed。〃

Camille　muttered　polite　regrets：　the　rage　of　disappointment　drove　its　fangs　into　him；　and　then　came　the　heart…sickness　of　hope　deferred。　　The　next　day　he　saw　her；　but　could　not　get　a　word　with　her　alone。　　The　baroness　tortured　him　another　way。　　She　was　full　of　Raynal。　　She　loved　him。　　She　called　him　her　son；　was　never　weary　of　descanting　on　his　virtues　to　Camille。　　Not　a　day　passed　that　she　did　not　pester　Camille　to　make　a　calculation　as　to　the　probable　period　of　his　return；　and　he　was　obliged　to　answer　her。　　She　related　to　him　before　Josephine　and　Rose；　how　this　honest　soldier　had　come　to　them　like　a　guardian　angel　and　saved　the　whole　family。　　In　vain　he　muttered　that　Rose　had　told　him。

〃Let　me　have　the　pleasure　of　telling　it　you　my　way；〃　cried　she；　and　told　it　diffusely；　and　kept　him　writhing。

The　next　thing　was；　Josephine　had　received　no　letter　from　him　this　month；　the　first　month　he　had　missed。　　In　vain　did　Rose　represent　that　he　was　only　a　few　days　over　his　time。　　The　baroness　became　anxious；　communicated　her　anxieties　to　Camille　among　the　rest；　and；　by　a　torturing　interrogatory；　compelled