at the back of the north wind-第59章

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he　found　his　uplifted　hands　lying　in　those　of　North　Wind；

who　was　dancing　with　him；　round　and　round　the　long　bare　room；

her　hair　now　falling　to　the　floor；　now　filling　the　arched　ceiling；

her　eyes　shining　on　him　like　thinking　stars；　and　the　sweetest　of

grand　smiles　playing　breezily　about　her　beautiful　mouth。　　She　was；

as　so　often　before；　of　the　height　of　a　rather　tall　lady。　　She　did　not

stoop　in　order　to　dance　with　him；　but　held　his　hands　high　in　hers。　

When　he　saw　her；　he　gave　one　spring；　and　his　arms　were　about　her　neck；

and　her　arms　holding　him　to　her　bosom。　　The　same　moment　she　swept

with　him　through　the　open　window　in　at　which　the　moon　was　shining；

made　a　circuit　like　a　bird　about　to　alight；　and　settled　with　him

in　his　nest　on　the　top　of　the　great　beech…tree。　There　she　placed

him　on　her　lap　and　began　to　hush　him　as　if　he　were　her　own　baby；

and　Diamond　was　so　entirely　happy　that　he　did　not　care　to　speak

a　word。　　At　length；　however；　he　found　that　he　was　going　to　sleep；

and　that　would　be　to　lose　so　much；　that；　pleasant　as　it　was；　he　could

not　consent。



〃Please；　dear　North　Wind；〃　he　said；　〃I　am　so　happy　that　I'm　afraid

it's　a　dream。　　How　am　I　to　know　that　it's　not　a　dream？〃



〃What　does　it　matter？〃　returned　North　Wind。



〃I　should；　cry〃　said　Diamond。



〃But　why　should　you　cry？　　The　dream；　if　it　is　a　dream；　is　a　pleasant　one

is　it　not？〃



〃That's　just　why　I　want　it　to　be　true。〃



〃Have　you　forgotten　what　you　said　to　Nanny　about　her　dream？〃



〃It's　not　for　the　dream　itselfI　mean；　it's　not　for　the　pleasure

of　it；〃　answered　Diamond；　〃for　I　have　that；　whether　it　be　a　dream

or　not；　it's　for　you；　North　Wind；　I　can't　bear　to　find　it　a　dream；

because　then　I　should　lose　you。　　You　would　be　nobody　then；　and　I

could　not　bear　that。　　You　ain't　a　dream；　are　you；　dear　North　Wind？　

Do　say　No；　else　I　shall　cry；　and　come　awake；　and　you'll　be　gone　for　ever。　

I　daren't　dream　about　you　once　again　if　you　ain't　anybody。〃



〃I'm　either　not　a　dream；　or　there's　something　better　that's　not

a　dream；　Diamond；〃　said　North　Wind；　in　a　rather　sorrowful　tone；

he　thought。



〃But　it's　not　something　betterit's　you　I　want；　North　Wind；〃

he　persisted；　already　beginning　to　cry　a　little。



She　made　no　answer；　but　rose　with　him　in　her　arms　and　sailed　away

over　the　tree…tops　till　they　came　to　a　meadow；　where　a　flock

of　sheep　was　feeding。



〃Do　you　remember　what　the　song　you　were　singing　a　week　ago　says

about　Bo…Peephow　she　lost　her　sheep；　but　got　twice　as　many　lambs？〃

asked　North　Wind；　sitting　down　on　the　grass；　and　placing　him　in　her

lap　as　before。



〃Oh　yes；　I　do；　well　enough；〃　answered　Diamond；　〃but　I　never　just

quite　liked　that　rhyme。〃



〃Why　not；　child？〃



〃Because　it　seems　to　say　one's　as　good　as　another；　or　two　new　ones

are　better　than　one　that's　lost。　　I've　been　thinking　about　it

a　great　deal；　and　it　seems　to　me　that　although　any　one　sixpence

is　as　good　as　any　other　sixpence；　not　twenty　lambs　would　do　instead

of　one　sheep　whose　face　you　knew。　　Somehow；　when　once　you've

looked　into　anybody's　eyes；　right　deep　down　into　them；　I　mean；

nobody　will　do　for　that　one　any　more。　　Nobody；　ever　so　beautiful

or　so　good；　will　make　up　for　that　one　going　out　of　sight。　

So　you　see；　North　Wind；　I　can't　help　being　frightened　to　think

that　perhaps　I　am　only　dreaming；　and　you　are　nowhere　at　all。　

Do　tell　me　that　you　are　my　own；　real；　beautiful　North　Wind。〃



Again　she　rose；　and　shot　herself　into　the　air；　as　if　uneasy

because　she　could　not　answer　him；　and　Diamond　lay　quiet　in　her　arms；

waiting　for　what　she　would　say。　　He　tried　to　see　up　into　her　face；

for　he　was　dreadfully　afraid　she　was　not　answering　him　because　she

could　not　say　that　she　was　not　a　dream；　but　she　had　let　her　hair

fall　all　over　her　face　so　that　he　could　not　see　it。　　This　frightened

him　still　more。



〃Do　speak；　North　Wind；〃　he　said　at　last。



〃I　never　speak　when　I　have　nothing　to　say；〃　she　replied。



〃Then　I　do　think　you　must　be　a　real　North　Wind；　and　no　dream；〃

said　Diamond。



〃But　I'm　looking　for　something　to　say　all　the　time。〃



〃But　I　don't　want　you　to　say　what's　hard　to　find。　　If　you　were

to　say　one　word　to　comfort　me　that　wasn't　true；　then　I　should　know

you　must　be　a　dream；　for　a　great　beautiful　lady　like　you　could

never　tell　a　lie。〃



〃But　she　mightn't　know　how　to　say　what　she　had　to　say；　so　that

a　little　boy　like　you　would　understand　it；〃　said　North　Wind。　

〃Here；　let　us　get　down　again；　and　I　will　try　to　tell　you　what　I　think。　

You　musn't　suppose　I　am　able　to　answer　all　your　questions；　though。　

There　are　a　great　many　things　I　don't　understand　more　than　you　do。〃



She　descended　on　a　grassy　hillock；　in　the　midst　of　a　wild　furzy　common。　

There　was　a　rabbit…warren　underneath；　and　some　of　the　rabbits　came

out　of　their　holes；　in　the　moonlight；　looking　very　sober　and　wise；

just　like　patriarchs　standing　in　their　tent…doors；　and　looking

about　them　before　going　to　bed。　　When　they　saw　North　Wind；

instead　of　turning　round　and　vanishing　again　with　a　thump　of

their　heels；　they　cantered　slowly　up　to　her　and　snuffled　all　about

her　with　their　long　upper　lips；　which　moved　every　way　at　once。　

That　was　their　way　of　kissing　her；　and；　as　she　talked　to　Diamond；

she　would　every　now　and　then　stroke　down　their　furry　backs；

or　lift　and　play　with　their　long　ears。　　They　would；　Diamond　thought；

have　leaped　upon　her　lap；　but　that　he　was　there　already。



〃I　think；〃　said　she；　after　they　had　been　sitting　silent　for　a　while；

〃that　if　I　were　only　a　dream；　you　would　not　have　been　able　to　love

me　so。　　You　love　me　when　you　are　not　with　me；　don't　you？〃



〃Indeed　I　do；〃　answered　Diamond；　stroking　her　hand。　　〃I　see！　　I　see！　

How　could　I　be　able　to　love　you　as　I　do　if　you　weren't　there　at　all；

you　know？　　Besides；　I　couldn't　be　able　to　dream　anything　half

so　beautiful　all　out　of　my　own　head；　or　if　I　did；　I　couldn't　love

a　fancy　of　my　own　like　that；　could　I？〃



〃I　think　not。　　You　might　have　loved　me　in　a　dream；　dreamily；　and　forgotten

me　when　you　woke；　I　daresay；　but　not　loved　me　like　a　real　being

as　you　love　me。　　Even　then；　I　don't　think　you　could　dream　anything

that　hadn't　something　real　like　it　somewhere。　　But　you've　seen

me　in　many　shapes；　Diamond：　　you　remember　I　was　a　wolf　oncedon't　you？〃



〃Oh　yesa　good　wolf　that　frightened　a　naughty　drunken　nurse。〃



〃Well；　suppose　I　were　to　turn　ugly；　would　you　rather　I　weren't

a　dream　then？〃



〃Yes；　for　I　should　know　that　you　were　beautiful　inside　all　the　same。　

You　would　love　me；　and　I　should　love　you　all　the　same。　　I　shouldn't

like　you　to　look　ugly；　you　know。　　But　I　shouldn't　believe　it　a　bit。〃



〃Not　if　you　saw　it？〃



〃No；　not　if　I　saw　it　ever　so　plain。〃



〃There's　my　Diamond！　　I　will　tell　you　all　I　know　about　it　then。　

I　don't　think　I　am　just　what　you　fancy　me　to　be。　　I　have　to　shape

myself　various　ways　to　various　people。　　But　the　heart　of　me　is　true。　

People　call　me　by　dreadful　names；　and　think　they　know　all　about　me。　

But　they　don't。　Sometimes　they　call　me　Bad　Fortune；　sometimes　Evil　Chance；

sometimes　Ruin；　and　they　have　another　name　for　me　which　they　think

the　most　dreadful　of　all。〃



〃What　is　that？〃　asked　Diamond；　smiling　up　in　her　face。



〃I　won't　tell　you　that　name。　　Do　you　remember　having　to　go　through

me　to　get　into　the　country　at　my　back？〃



〃Oh　yes；　I　do。　　How　cold　you　were；　North　Wind！　and　so　white；

all　but　your　lovely　eyes！　　My　heart　grew　like　a　lump　of　ice；

and　then　I　forgot　for　a　while。〃



〃You　were　very　near　knowing　what　they　call　me　then。　　Would　you

be　afraid　of　me　if　you　had　to　go　through　me　again？〃



〃No。　Why　should　I？　　Indeed　I　should　be　glad　enough；　if　it　was　only

to　get　another　peep　of　the　country　at　your　back。〃



〃You've　never　seen　it　yet。〃



〃Haven't　I；　North　Wind？　　Oh！　　I'm　so　sorry！　　I　thought　I　had。　

What　did　I　see　then？〃



〃Only　a　picture　of　it。　　The　real　country　at　my　real　back　is　ever

so　much　more　beautiful　than　that。