oliver twist(雾都孤儿(孤星血泪))-第79章

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the　late　Mrs。　Corney　was　particularly　proof　against　eagle　glances；　
are　matters　of　opinion。　The　matter　of　fact　is；　that　the　matron　was　
in　no　way　overpowered　by　Mr。　Bumble’s　scowl；　but；　on　the　
contrary；　treated　it　with　great　disdain；　and　even　raised　a　laugh　
thereat；　which　sounded　as　though　it　were　genuine。　

On　hearing　this　most　unexpected　sound；　Mr。　Bumble　looked；　
first　incredulous；　and　afterwards　amazed。　He　then　relapsed　into　
his　former　state；　nor　did　he　rouse　himself　until　his　attention　was　
again　awakened　by　the　voice　of　his　partner。　

“Are　you　going　to　sit　snoring　there；　all　day？”　inquired　Mrs。　
Bumble。　

“I　am　going　to　sit　here；　as　long　as　I　think　proper；　ma’am；”　
rejoined　Mr。　Bumble；　“and　although　I　was　not　snoring；　I　shall　
snore；　gape；　sneeze；　laugh；　or　cry；　as　the　humour　strikes　me；　such　
being　my　prerogative。　

“Your　prerogative！”　sneered　Mrs。　Bumble；　with　ineffable　
contempt。　

“I　said　the　word；　ma’am；”　said　Mr。　Bumble。　“The　prerogative　of　
a　man　is　to　command。”　

“And　what’s　the　prerogative　of　a　woman；　in　the　name　of　
goodness？”　cried　the　relict　of　Mr。　Corney　deceased。　

“To　obey；　ma’am；”　thundered　Mr。　Bumble。　“Your　late　
unfortunate　husband　should　have　taught　it　you；　and　then；　
perhaps；　he　might　have　been　alive　now。　I　wish　he　was；　poor　man！”　

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Mrs。　Bumble；　seeing　at　a　glance；　that　the　decisive　moment　had　
now　arrived；　and　that　a　blow　struck　for　the　mastership　on　one　side　
or　other；　must　necessarily　be　final　and　conclusive；　no　sooner　heard　
this　allusion　to　the　dead　and　gone；　than　she　dropped　into　a　chair；　
and　with　a　loud　scream　that　Mr。　Bumble　was　a　hard…hearted　
brute；　fell　into　a　paroxysm　of　tears。　

But　tears　were　not　the　things　to　find　their　way　to　Mr。　Bumble’s　
soul；　his　heart　was　waterproof。　they　were　less　troublesome　than　a　
manual　assault；　but　she　was　quite　prepared　to　make　trial　of　the　
latter　mode　of　proceeding；　as　Mr。　Bumble　was　not　long　in　
discovering。　

The　first　proof　he　experienced　of　the　fact；　was　conveyed　in　a　
hollow　sound；　immediately　succeeded　by　the　sudden　flying　off　of　
his　hat　to　the　opposite　end　of　the　room。　This　preliminary　
proceeding　lay　bare　his　head；　the　expert　lady；　clasping　him　tightly　
round　the　throat　with　one　hand；　inflicted　a　shower　of　blows　（dealt　
with　singular　vigour　and　dexterity）　upon　it　with　the　other。　This　
done；　she　created　a　little　variety　by　scratching　his　face；　and　tearing　
his　hair；　and；　having　by　this　time　inflicted　as　much　punishment　as　
she　deemed　necessary　for　the　offence；　she　pushed　him　over　a　
chair；　which　was　luckily　well　situated　for　the　purpose；　and　defied　
him　to　talk　about　his　prerogative　again；　if　he　dared。　

“Get　up！”　said　Mrs。　Bumble；　in　a　voice　of　command。　“And　take　
yourself　away　from　here；　unless　you　want　me　to　do　something　
desperate。”　

Mr。　Bumble　rose　with　a　very　rueful　countenance—wondering　
much　what　something　desperate　might　be。　Picking　up　his　hat；　he　
looked　towards　the　door。　

“Are　you　going？”　demanded　Mrs。　Bumble。　

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“Certainly；　my　dear；　certainly；”　rejoined　Mr。　Bumble；　making　a　
quicker　motion　towards　the　door。　“I　didn’t　intend　to—I’m　going；　
my　dear！　You　are　so　very　violent；　that　really　I—”　

At　this　instant；　Mrs。　Bumble　stepped　hastily　forward　to　replace　
the　carpet；　which　had　been　kicked　up　in　the　scuffle。　Mr。　Bumble　
immediately　darted　out　of　the　room；　without　bestowing　another　
thought　on　his　unfinished　sentence；　leaving　the　late　Mrs。　Corney　
in　full　possession　of　the　field。　

Mr。　Bumble　was　fairly　taken　by　surprise；　and　fairly　beaten。　He　
had　a　decided　propensity　for　bullying；　derived　no　inconsiderable　
pleasure　from　the　exercise　of　petty　cruelty；　and；　consequently；　was　
（it　is　needless　to　say）　a　coward。　This　is　by　no　means　a　
disparagement　to　his　character；　for　many　official　personages；　who　
are　held　in　high　respect　and　admiration；　are　the　victims　of　similar　
infirmities。　The　remark　is　made；　indeed；　rather　in　his　favour　than　
otherwise；　and　with　a　view　of　impressing　the　reader　with　a　just　
sense　of　his　qualifications　for　office。　

But　the　measure　of　his　degradation　was　not　yet　full。　After　
making　a　tour　of　the　house；　and　thinking；　for　the　first　time；　that　
the　poor…laws　really　were　too　hard　on　people；　and　that　men　who　
ran　away　from　their　wives；　leaving　them　chargeable　to　the　parish；　
ought；　in　justice；　to　be　visited　with　no　punishment　at　all；　but　rather　
rewarded　as　meritorious　individuals　who　had　suffered　much；　Mr。　
Bumble　came　to　a　room　where　some　of　the　female　paupers　were　
usually　employed　in　washing　the　parish　linen；　whence　the　sound　
of　voices　in　conversation；　now　proceeded。　

“Hem！”　said　Mr。　Bumble；　summoning　up　all　his　native　dignity。　
“These　women　at　least　shall　continue　to　respect　the　prerogative。　
Hollo！　hollo；　there！　What　do　you　mean　by　this　noise；　you　hussies？”　

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With　these　words；　Mr。　Bumble　opened　the　door；　and　walked　in　
with　a　very　fierce　and　angry　manner；　which　was　at　once　
exchanged　for　a　most　humiliated　and　cowering　air；　as　his　eyes　
unexpectedly　rested　on　the　form　of　his　lady　wife。　

“My　dear；”　said　Mr。　Bumble；　“I　didn’t　know　you　were　here。”　

“Didn’t　know　I　was　here！”　repeated　Mrs。　Bumble。　“What　do　you　
do　here？”　

“I　thought　they　were　talking　rather　too　much　to　be　doing　their　
work　properly；　my　dear；”　replied　Mr。　Bumble；　glancing　
distractedly　at　a　couple　of　old　women　at　the　wash…tub；　who　were　
comparing　notes　of　admiration　at　the　workhouse…master’s　
humility。　

“You　thought　they　were　talking　too　much？”　said　Mrs。　Bumble。　
“What　business　is　it　of　yours？”　

“Why；　my　dear—”　urged　Mr。　Bumble　submissively。　

“What　business　is　it　of　yours？”　demanded　Mrs。　Bumble　again。　

“It’s　very　true；　you’re　matron　here；　my　dear；”　submitted　Mr。　
Bumble；　“but　I　thought　you　mightn’t　be　in　the　way　just　then。”　

“I’ll　tell　you　what；　Mr。　Bumble；”　returned　his　lady。　“We　don’t　
want　any　of　your　interference。　You’re　a　great　deal　too　fond　of　
poking　your　nose　into　things　that　don’t　concern　you；　making　
everybody　in　the　house　laugh；　the　moment　your　back　is　turned；　
and　making　yourself　look　like　a　fool　every　hour　in　the　day。　Be　off；　
come！”　

Mr。　Bumble；　seeing　with　excruciating　feelings　the　delights　of　
the　two　old　paupers；　who　were　tittering　together　most　rapturously；　
hesitated　for　an　instant。　Mrs。　Bumble；　whose　patience　brooked　no　
delay；　caught　up　a　bowl　of　soap…suds；　and　motioning　him　towards　
the　door；　ordered　him　instantly　to　depart；　on　pain　of　receiving　the　

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contents　upon　his　portly　person。　

What　could　Mr。　Bumble　do？　He　looked　dejectedly　round；　and　
slunk　away；　and；　as　he　reached　the　door；　the　titterings　of　the　
paupers　broke　into　a　shrill　chuckle　of　irrepressible　delight。　It　
wanted　but　this。　He　was　degraded　in　their　eyes；　he　had　lost　caste　
and　station　before　the　very　paupers；　he　had　fallen　from　all　the　
height　and　pomp　of　beadleship；　to　the　lowest　depth　of　the　most　
snubbed　henpeckery。　

“All　in　two　months！”　said　Mr。　Bumble；　filled　with　dismal　
thoughts。　“Two　months！　No　more　than　two　months　ago；　I　was　not　
only　my　own　master；　but　everybody　else’s；　so　far　as　the　porochial　
workhouse　was　concerned；　and　now！”　

It　was　too　much。　Mr。　Bumble　boxed　the　ears　of　the　boy　who　
opened　the　gate　for　him　（for　he　had　reached　the　portal　in　his　
reverie）；　and　walked；　distractedly　into　the　street。　

He　walked　up　one　street；　and　down　another；　until　exercise　had　
abated　the　first　passion　of　his　grief；　and　then　the　revulsion　of　
feeling　made　him　thirsty。　He　passed　a　great　many　public…houses；　
but；　at　length　paused　before　one　in　a　byway；　whose　parlour；　as　he　
gathered　from　a　hasty　peep　over　the　blinds；　was　deserted；　save　by　
one　solitary　customer。　It　began　to　rain；　heavily；　at　the　moment。　
This　determined　him。　Mr。　Bumble　stepped　in；　and　ordering　
something　to　drink；　as　he　passed　the　bar；　entered　the　apartment　
into　which　he　had　looked　from　the　street。　

The　man　w