sartor resartus-第23章

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s　a　comparative　misery　to　have　been　born；　and　to　be　awake　and　work；　and　for　the　duller　a　felicity；　if；　like　hibernating　animals；　safe…lodged　in　some　Salamanca　University　or　Sybaris　City；　or　other　superstitious　or　voluptuous　Castle　of　Indolence；　they　can　slumber　through；　in　stupid　dreams；　and　only　awaken　when　the　loud…roaring　hailstorms　have　all　alone　their　work；　and　to　our　prayers　and　martyrdoms　the　new　Spring　has　been　vouchsafed。〃

That　in　the　environment；　here　mysteriously　enough　shadowed　forth；　Teufelsdrockh　must　have　felt　ill　at　ease；　cannot　be　doubtful。　　〃The　hungry　young；〃　he　says；　〃looked　up　to　their　spiritual　Nurses；　and；　for　food；　were　bidden　eat　the　east…wind。　　What　vain　jargon　of　controversial　Metaphysic；　Etymology；　and　mechanical　Manipulation　falsely　named　Science；　was　current　there；　I　indeed　learned；　better　perhaps　than　the　most。　　Among　eleven　hundred　Christian　youths；　there　will　not　be　wanting　some　eleven　eager　to　learn。　　By　collision　with　such；　a　certain　warmth；　a　certain　polish　was　communicated；　by　instinct　and　happy　accident；　I　took　less　to　rioting　（_renommiren_）；　than　to　thinking　and　reading；　which　latter　also　I　was　free　to　do。　　Nay　from　the　chaos　of　that　Library；　I　succeeded　in　fishing　up　more　books　perhaps　than　had　been　known　to　the　very　keepers　thereof。　　The　foundation　of　a　Literary　Life　was　hereby　laid：　　I　learned；　on　my　own　strength；　to　read　fluently　in　almost　all　cultivated　languages；　on　almost　all　subjects　and　sciences；　farther；　as　man　is　ever　the　prime　object　to　man；　already　it　was　my　favorite　employment　to　read　character　in　speculation；　and　from　the　Writing　to　construe　the　Writer。　　A　certain　groundplan　of　Human　Nature　and　Life　began　to　fashion　itself　in　me；　wondrous　enough；　now　when　I　look　back　on　it；　for　my　whole　Universe；　physical　and　spiritual；　was　as　yet　a　Machine！　　However；　such　a　conscious；　recognized　groundplan；　the　truest　I　had；　_was_　beginning　to　be　there；　and　by　additional　experiments　might　be　corrected　and　indefinitely　extended。〃

Thus　from　poverty　does　the　strong　educe　nobler　wealth；　thus　in　the　destitution　of　the　wild　desert　does　our　young　Ishmael　acquire　for　himself　the　highest　of　all　possessions；　that　of　Self…help。　　Nevertheless　a　desert　this　was；　waste；　and　howling　with　savage　monsters。　　Teufelsdrockh　gives　us　long　details　of　his　〃fever…paroxysms　of　Doubt；〃　his　Inquiries　concerning　Miracles；　and　the　Evidences　of　religious　Faith；　and　how　〃in　the　silent　night…watches；　still　darker　in　his　heart　than　over　sky　and　earth；　he　has　cast　himself　before　the　All…seeing；　and　with　audible　prayers　cried　vehemently　for　Light；　for　deliverance　from　Death　and　the　Grave。　　Not　till　after　long　years；　and　unspeakable　agonies；　did　the　believing　heart　surrender；　sink　into　spell…bound　sleep；　under　the　nightmare；　Unbelief；　and；　in　this　hag…ridden　dream；　mistake　God's　fair　living　world　for　a　pallid；　vacant　Hades　and　extinct　Pandemonium。　　But　through　such　Purgatory　pain；〃　continues　he；　〃it　is　appointed　us　to　pass；　first　must　the　dead　Letter　of　Religion　own　itself　dead；　and　drop　piecemeal　into　dust；　if　the　living　Spirit　of　Religion；　freed　from　this　its　charnel…house；　is　to　arise　on　us；　new…born　of　Heaven；　and　with　new　healing　under　its　wings。〃

To　which　Purgatory　pains；　seemingly　severe　enough；　if　we　add　a　liberal　measure　of　Earthly　distresses；　want　of　practical　guidance；　want　of　sympathy；　want　of　money；　want　of　hope；　and　all　this　in　the　fervid　season　of　youth；　so　exaggerated　in　imagining；　so　boundless　in　desires；　yet　here　so　poor　in　means；do　we　not　see　a　strong　incipient　spirit　oppressed　and　overloaded　from　without　and　from　within；　the　fire　of　genius　struggling　up　among　fuel…wood　of　the　greenest；　and　as　yet　with　more　of　bitter　vapor　than　of　clear　flame？

From　various　fragments　of　Letters　and　other　documentary　scraps；　it　is　to　be　inferred　that　Teufelsdrockh；　isolated；　shy；　retiring　as　he　was；　had　not　altogether　escaped　notice：　　certain　established　men　are　aware　of　his　existence；　and；　if　stretching　out　no　helpful　hand；　have　at　least　their　eyes　on　him。　　He　appears；　though　in　dreary　enough　humor；　to　be　addressing　himself　to　the　Profession　of　Law；whereof；　indeed；　the　world　has　since　seen　him　a　public　graduate。　　But　omitting　these　broken；　unsatisfactory　thrums　of　Economical　relation；　let　us　present　rather　the　following　small　thread　of　Moral　relation；　and　therewith；　the　reader　for　himself　weaving　it　in　at　the　right　place；　conclude　our　dim　arras…picture　of　these　University　years。

〃Here　also　it　was　that　I　formed　acquaintance　with　Herr　Towgood；　or；　as　it　is　perhaps　better　written；　Herr　Toughgut；　a　young　person　of　quality　（_von　Adel_）；　from　the　interior　parts　of　England。　　He　stood　connected；　by　blood　and　hospitality；　with　the　Counts　von　Zahdarm；　in　this　quarter　of　Germany；　to　which　noble　Family　I　likewise　was；　by　his　means；　with　all　friendliness；　brought　near。　　Towgood　had　a　fair　talent；　unspeakably　ill…cultivated；　with　considerable　humor　of　character：　　and；　bating　his　total　ignorance；　for　he　knew　nothing　except　Boxing　and　a　little　Grammar；　showed　less　of　that　aristocratic　impassivity；　and　silent　fury；　than　for　most　part　belongs　to　Travellers　of　his　nation。　　To　him　I　owe　my　first　practical　knowledge　of　the　English　and　their　ways；　perhaps　also　something　of　the　partiality　with　which　I　have　ever　since　regarded　that　singular　people。　　Towgood　was　not　without　an　eye；　could　he　have　come　at　any　light。　　Invited　doubtless　by　the　presence　of　the　Zahdarm　Family；　he　had　travelled　hither；　in　the　almost　frantic　hope　of　perfecting　his　studies；　he；　whose　studies　had　as　yet　been　those　of　infancy；　hither　to　a　University　where　so　much　as　the　notion　of　perfection；　not　to　say　the　effort　after　it；　no　longer　existed！　　Often　we　would　condole　over　the　hard　destiny　of　the　Young　in　this　era：　　how；　after　all　our　toil；　we　were　to　be　turned　out　into　the　world；　with　beards　on　our　chins　indeed；　but　with　few　other　attributes　of　manhood；　no　existing　thing　that　we　were　trained　to　Act　on；　nothing　that　we　could　so　much　as　Believe。　　'How　has　our　head　on　the　outside　a　polished　Hat；'　would　Towgood　exclaim；　'and　in　the　inside　Vacancy；　or　a　froth　of　Vocables　and　Attorney…Logic！　　At　a　small　cost　men　are　educated　to　make　leather　into　shoes；　but　at　a　great　cost；　what　am　I　educated　to　make？　　By　Heaven；　Brother！　what　I　have　already　eaten　and　worn；　as　I　came　thus　far；　would　endow　a　considerable　Hospital　of　Incurables。''Man；　indeed；'　I　would　answer；　'has　a　Digestive　Faculty；　which　must　be　kept　working；　were　it　even　partly　by　stealth。　　But　as　for　our　Miseducation；　make　not　bad　worse；　waste　not　the　time　yet　ours；　in　trampling　on　thistles　because　they　have　yielded　us　no　figs。　　_Frisch　zu；　Bruder_！　Here　are　Books；　and　we　have　brains　to　read　them；　here　is　a　whole　Earth　and　a　whole　Heaven；　and　we　have　eyes　to　look　on　them：　　_Frisch　zu_！'

〃Often　also　our　talk　was　gay；　not　without　brilliancy；　and　even　fire。　　We　looked　out　on　Life；　with　its　strange　scaffolding；　where　all　at　once　harlequins　dance；　and　men　are　beheaded　and　quartered：　　motley；　not　unterrific　was　the　aspect；　but　we　looked　on　it　like　brave　youths。　　For　myself；　these　were　perhaps　my　most　genial　hours。　　Towards　this　young　warm…hearted；　strong…headed　and　wrong…headed　Herr　Towgood　I　was　even　near　experiencing　the　now　obsolete　sentiment　of　Friendship。　　Yes；　foolish　Heathen　that　I　was；　I　felt　that；　under　certain　conditions；　I　could　have　loved　this　man；　and　taken　him　to　my　bosom；　and　been　his　brother　once　and　always。　　By　degrees；　however；　I　understood　the　new　time；　and　its　wants。　　If　man's　_Soul_　is　indeed；　as　in　the　Finnish　Language；　and　Utilitarian　Philosophy；　a　kind　of　_Stomach_；　what　else　is　the　true　meaning　of　Spiritual　Union　but　an　Eating　together？　　Thus　we；　instead　of　Friends；　are　Dinner…guests；　and　here　as　elsewhere　have　cast　away　chimeras。〃

So　ends；　abruptly　as　is　usual；　and　enigmatically；　this　little　incipient　romance。　　What　henceforth　becomes　of　the　brave　Herr　Towgood；　or　Toughgut？　He　has　dived　under；　in　the　Autobiographical　Chaos；　and　swims　we　see　not　where。　　Does　any　reader　〃in　the　interior　parts　of　England〃　know　of　such　a　man？


CHAPTER　IV。　GETTING　UNDER　WAY。

〃Thus　nevertheless；〃　writes　our　Autobiographer；　apparently　as　quitting　College；　〃was　there　realized　Somewhat；　namely；　I；　Diogenes　Teufelsdroc