miss billie married-第37章

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CHAPTER　XX



ARKWRIGHT'S　EYES　ARE　OPENED





William　came　back　from　his　business　trip　the

eighth　of　July；　and　on　the　ninth　Billy　and　Bertram

went　to　New　York。　　Eliza's　mother　was　so

well　now　that　Eliza　had　taken　up　her　old　quarters

in　the　Strata；　and　the　household　affairs　were

once　more　running　like　clockwork。　　Later　in　the

season　William　would　go　away　for　a　month's

fishing　trip；　and　the　house　would　be　closed。



Mr。　and　Mrs。　Bertram　Henshaw　were　not

expected　to　return　until　the　first　of　October；　but

with　Eliza　to　look　after　the　comfort　of　William；

the　mistress　of　the　house　did　no　worrying。　　Ever

since　Pete's　going；　Eliza　had　said　that　she

preferred　to　be　the　only　maid；　with　a　charwoman　to

come　in　for　the　heavier　work；　and　to　this　arrangement

her　mistress　had　willingly　consented；　for　the

present。



Marie　and　the　babies　were　doing　finely；　and

Aunt　Hannah's　health；　and　affairs　at　the　Annex；

were　all　that　could　be　desired。　　As　Billy；　indeed；

saw　it；　there　was　only　one　flaw　to　mar　her　perfect

content　on　this　holiday　trip　with　Bertram；　and

that　was　her　disappointment　over　the　very　evident

disaster　that　had　come　to　her　cherished

matrimonial　plans　for　Arkwright　and　Alice

Greggory。　　She　could　not　forget　Arkwright's　face　that

day　at　the　Annex；　when　she　had　so　foolishly　called

his　attention　to　Calderwell's　devotion；　and　she

could　not　forget；　either；　Alice　Greggory's　very

obvious　perturbation　a　little　later；　and　her

suspiciously　emphatic　assertion　that　she　had　no

intention　of　marrying　any　one；　certainly　not

Arkwright。　　As　Billy　thought　of　all　this　now；　she

could　not　but　admit　that　it　did　look　dark　for

Arkwrightpoor　Arkwright；　whom　she；　more

than　any　one　else　in　the　world；　perhaps；　had　a

special　reason　for　wishing　to　see　happily　married。



There　was；　then；　this　one　cloud　on　Billy's

horizon　as　the　big　boat　that　was　to　bear　her　across

the　water　steamed　down　the　harbor　that　beautiful

July　day。



As　it　chanced；　naturally；　perhaps；　not　only　was

Billy　thinking　of　Arkwright　that　morning；　but

Arkwright　was　thinking　of　Billy。



Arkwright　had　thought　frequently　of　Billy

during　the　last　few　days；　particularly　since　that

afternoon　meeting　at　the　Annex　when　the　four

had　renewed　their　old　good　times　together。　　Up

to　that　day　Arkwright　had　been　trying　not　to

think　of　Billy。　　He　had　been　‘‘fighting　his　tiger

skin。''　　Sternly　he　had　been　forcing　himself　to

meet　her；　to　see　her；　to　talk　with　her；　to　sing　with

her；　or　to　pass　her　byall　with　the　indifference

properly　expected　to　be　shown　in　association　with

Mrs。　Bertram　Henshaw；　another　man's　wife。　　He

had　known；　of　course；　that　deep　down　in　his　heart

he　loved　her；　always　had　loved　her；　and　always

would　love　her。　　Hopelessly　and　drearily　he

accepted　this　as　a　fact　even　while　with　all　his　might

fighting　that　tiger　skin。　　So　sure　was　he；　indeed；

of　this；　so　implicitly　had　he　accepted　it　as　an

unalterable　certainty；　that　in　time　even　his　efforts

to　fight　it　became　almost　mechanical　and　unconscious

in　their　stern　round　of　forced　indifference。



Then　came　that　day　at　the　Annexand　the

discovery：　the　discovery　which　he　had　made

when　Billy　called　his　attention　to　Calderwell　and

Alice　Greggory　across　the　room　in　the　corner；

the　discovery　which　had　come　with　so　blinding　a

force；　and　which　even　now　he　was　tempted　to

question　as　to　its　reality；　the　discovery　that　not

Billy　Neilson；　nor　Mrs。　Bertram　Henshaw；　nor

even　the　tender　ghost　of　a　lost　love　held　the

center　of　his　heartbut　Alice　Greggory。



The　first　intimation　of　all　this　had　come　with

his　curious　feeling　of　unreasoning　hatred　and

blind　indignation　toward　Calderwell　as；　through

Billy's　eyes；　he　had　seen　the　two　together。　　Then

had　come　the　overwhelming　longing　to　pick　up

Alice　Greggory　and　run　off　with　hersomewhere；

anywhere；　so　that　Calderwell　could　not　follow。



At　once；　however；　he　had　pulled　himself　up

short　with　the　mental　cry　of　‘‘Absurd！''　　What

was　it　to　him　if　Calderwell　did　care　for　Alice

Greggory？　　Surely　he　himself　was　not　in　love

with　the　girl。　　He　was　in　love　with　Billy；　that

is



It　was　all　confusion　then；　in　his　mind；　and　he

was　glad　indeed　when　he　could　leave　the　house。　

He　wanted　to　be　alone。　　He　wanted　to　think。　

He　must；　in　some　way；　thrash　out　this　astounding

thing　that　had　come　to　him。



Arkwright　did　not　visit　the　Annex　again　for

some　days。　　Until　he　was　more　nearly　sure　of

himself　and　of　his　feelings；　he　did　not　wish　to　see

Alice　Greggory。　　It　was　then　that　he　began　to

think　of　Billy；　deliberately；　purposefully；　for　it

must　be；　of　course；　that　he　had　made　a　mistake；

he　told　himself。　　It　must　be　that　he　did；　really；

still　care　for　Billythough　of　course　he　ought

not　to。



Arkwright　made　another　discovery　then。　　He

learned　that；　however　deliberately　he　started　in

to　think　of　Billy；　he　ended　every　time　in　thinking

of　Alice。　　He　thought　of　how　good　she　had　been

to　him；　and　of　how　faithful　she　had　been　in　helping

him　to　fight　his　love　for　Billy。　　Just　here　he

decided；　for　a　moment；　that　probably；　after　all；

his　feeling　of　anger　against　Calderwell　was　merely

the　fear　of　losing　this　helpful　comradeship　that

he　so　needed。　　Even　with　himself；　however；　Arkwright

could　not　keep　up　this　farce　long；　and　very

soon　he　admitted　miserably　that　it　was　not　the

comradeship　of　Alice　Greggory　that　he　wanted　or

needed；　but　the　love。



He　knew　it　now。　　No　longer　was　there　any　use

in　beating　about　the　bush。　　He　did　love　Alice

Greggory；　but　so　curiously　and　unbelievably

stupid　had　he　been　that　he　had　not　found　it　out

until　now。　　And　now　it　was　too　late。　　Had　not

even　Billy　called　his　attention　to　the　fact　of

Calderwell's　devotion？　　Besides；　had　not　he　himself；

at　the　very　first；　told　Calderwell　that　he

might　have　a　clear　field？



Fool　that　he　had　been　to　let　another　thus　lightly

step　in　and　win　from　under　his　very　nose　what

might　have　been　his　if　he　had　but　known　his　own

mind　before　it　was　too　late！



But　was　it；　after　all；　quite　too　late？　　He　and

Alice　were　old　friends。　　Away　back　in　their　young

days　in　their　native　town　they　had　been；　indeed；

almost　sweethearts；　in　a　boy…and…girl　fashion。　

It　would　not　have　taken　much　in　those　days；　he

believed；　to　have　made　the　relationship　more

interesting。　　But　changes　had　come。　　Alice　had

left　town；　and　for　years　they　had　drifted　apart。　

Then　had　come　Billy；　and　Billy　had　found　Alice；

thus　bringing　about　the　odd　circumstance　of　their

renewing　of　acquaintanceship。　　Perhaps；　at　that

time；　if　he　had　not　already　thought　he　cared　for

Billy；　there　would　have　been　something　more

than　acquaintanceship。



But　he　_had_　thought　he　cared　for　Billy　all　these

years；　and　now；　at　this　late　day；　to　wake　up　and

find　that　he　cared　for　Alice！　　A　pretty　mess　he

had　made　of　things！　　Was　he　so　inconstant　then；

so　fickle？　　Did　he　not　know　his　own　mind　five

minutes　at　a　time？　　What　would　Alice　Greggory

think；　even　if　he　found　the　courage　to　tell　her？　

What　could　she　think？　　What　could　anybody

think？



Arkwright　fairly　ground　his　teeth　in　impotent

wrathand　he　did　not　know　whether　he　were

the　most　angry　that　he　did　not　love　Billy；　or　that

he　had　loved　Billy；　or　that　he　loved　somebody　else

now。



It　was　while　he　was　in　this　unenviable　frame　of

mind　that　he　went　to　see　Alice。　　Not　that　he　had

planned　definitely　to　speak　to　her　of　his　discovery；

nor　yet　that　he　had　planned　not　to。　　He　had；

indeed；　planned　nothing。　　For　a　man　usually　so

decided　as　to　purpose　and　energetic　as　to　action；

he　was　in　a　most　unhappy　state　of　uncertainty

and　changeableness。　　One　thing　only　was　unmistakably

clear　to　him；　and　that　was　that　he　must

see　Alice。



For　months；　now；　he　had　taken　to　Alice　all　his

hopes　and　griefs；　perplexities　and　problems；　and

never　had　he　failed　to　find　comfort　in　the　shape

of　sympathetic　understanding　an