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miss billie married-第12章

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every way than that dead thing on the floor!'



‘‘Then; when he had got me to the point where

of my own free will I would walk up and touch

the thing; he drew a lesson for me。



‘‘ ‘Now remember;' he charged me。  ‘Never

run and hide again。  Only cowards do that。 

Walk straight up and face the thing。  Ten to one

you'll find it's nothing but a dead skin masquerading

as the real thing。  Even if it isn't if it's

aliveface it。  Find a weapon and fight it。 

Know that you are going to conquer it and

you'll conquer。  Never run。  Be a man。  Men

don't run; my boy!' ''



Arkwright paused; and drew a long breath。  He

did not look at the girl in the opposite chair。  If

he had looked he would have seen a face transfigured。



‘‘Well;'' he resumed; ‘‘I never forgot that tiger

skin; nor what it stood for; after that day when

Uncle Ben thrust my hand into its hideous; but

harmless; red mouth。  Even as a kid I began;

then; to trynot to run。  I've tried ever since

But to…dayI did run。''



Arkwright's voice had been getting lower and

lower。  The last three words would have been

almost inaudible to ears less sensitively alert than

were Alice Greggory's。  For a moment after the

words were uttered; only the clock's ticking broke

the silence; then; with an obvious effort; the man

roused himself; as if breaking away from some

benumbing force that held him。



‘‘Alice; I don't need to tell you; after what I

said the other night; that I loved Billy Neilson。 

That was bad enough; for I found she was pledged

to another man。  But to…day I discovered something

worse:  I discovered that I loved Billy _Henshaw_

another man's wife。  AndI ran。  But

I've come back。  I'm going to face the thing。  Oh;

I'm not deceiving myself!  This love of mine is

no dead tiger skin。  It's a beast; alive and alert

God pity me!to destroy my very soul。  But

I'm going to fight it; andI want you to help

me。''



The girl gave a half…smothered cry。  The man

turned; but he could not see her face distinctly。 

Twilight had come; and the room was full of

shadows。  He hesitated; then went on; a little

more quietly。



‘‘That's why I've told you all thisso you

would help me。  And you will; won't you?''



There was no answer。  Once again he tried to

see her face; but it was turned now quite away

from him。



‘‘You've been a big help already; little girl。 

Your friendship; your comradeshipthey've

been everything to me。  You're not going to make

me do without themnow?''



‘‘Nooh; no!'' The answer was low and a

little breathless; but he heard it。



‘‘Thank you。  I knew you wouldn't。''  He

paused; then rose to his feet。  When he spoke

again his voice carried a note of whimsical

lightness that was a little forced。  ‘‘But I must go

else you _will_ take them from me; and with good

reason。  And please don't let your kind heart

grieve too muchover me。  I'm no deep…dyed

villain in a melodrama; nor wicked lover in a ten…

penny novel; you know。  I'm just an everyday

man in real life; and we're going to fight this thing

out in everyday living。  That's where your help

is coming in。  We'll go together to see Mrs。 Bertram

Henshaw。  She's asked us to; and you'll do

it; I know。  We'll have music and everyday talk。 

We'll see Mrs。 Bertram Henshaw in her own home

with her husband; where she belongs; andI'm

not going to run again。  ButI'm counting on

your help; you know;'' he smiled a little wistfully;

as he held out his hand in good…by。



One minute later Alice Greggory; alone; was

hurrying up…stairs。



‘‘I can'tI can'tI know I can't;'' she was

whispering wildly。  Then; in her own room; she

faced herself in the mirror。  ‘‘Yesyoucan;

Alice Greggory;'' she asserted; with swift change

of voice and manner。  ‘‘This is _your_ tiger skin;

and you're going to fight it。  Do you understand? 

fight it!  And you're going to win; too。  Do you

want that man to know you_care_?''







CHAPTER VI



‘‘THE PAINTING LOOK''





It was toward the last of October that Billy

began to notice her husband's growing restlessness。 

Twice; when she had been playing to him;

she turned to find him testing the suppleness of

his injured arm。  Several times; failing to receive

an answer to her questions; she had looked up to

discover him gazing abstractedly at nothing in

particular。



They read and walked and talked together; to

be sure; and Bertram's devotion to her lightest

wish was beyond question; but more and more

frequently these days Billy found him hovering

over his sketches in his studio; and once; when he

failed to respond to the dinner…bell; search

revealed him buried in a profound treatise on ‘‘The

Art of Foreshortening。''



Then came the day when Billy; after an hour's

vain effort to imprison within notes a tantalizing

melody; captured the truant and rain down to the

studio to tell Bertram of her victory。



But Bertram did not seem even to hear her。

True; he leaped to his feet and hurried to meet her;

his face radiantly aglow; but she had not ceased

to speak before he himself was talking。



‘‘Billy; Billy; I've been sketching;'' he cried。 

‘‘My hand is almost steady。  See; some of those

lines are all right!  I just picked up a crayon

and''  He stopped abruptly; his eyes on Billy's

face。  A vaguely troubled shadow crossed his

own。  ‘‘Diddid youwere you saying anything

inin particular; when you came in?'' he

stammered。



For a short half…minute Billy looked at her

husband without speaking。  Then; a little queerly;

she laughed。



‘‘Oh; no; nothing at all in _particular_;'' she

retorted airily。  The next moment; with one of her

unexpected changes of manner; she darted across

the room; picked up a palette; and a handful of

brushes from the long box near it。  Advancing

toward her husband she held them out dramatically。 

‘‘And now paint; my lord; paint!'' she

commanded him; with stern insistence; as she

thrust them into his hands。



Bertram laughed shamefacedly。



‘‘Oh; I say; Billy;'' he began; but Billy had

gone。



Out in the hall Billy was speeding up…stairs;

talking fiercely to herself。



‘‘We'll; Billy Neilson Henshaw; it's come! 

Now behave yourself。  _That was the painting look!_ 

You know what that means。  Remember; he belongs

to his Art before he does to you。  Kate and

everybody says so。  And youyou expected

him to tend to you and your silly little songs。  Do

you want to ruin his career?  As if now he could

spend all his time and give all his thoughts to

you!  But II just hate that Art!''



‘‘What did you say; Billy?'' asked William; in

mild surprise; coming around the turn of the

balustrade in the hall above。  ‘‘Were you speaking

to me; my dear?''



Billy looked up。  Her face cleared suddenly;

and she laughedthough a little ruefully。



‘‘No; Uncle William; I wasn't talking to you;''

she sighed。  ‘‘I was justjust administering

first aid to the injured;'' she finished; as she

whisked into her own room。




‘‘Well; well; bless the child!  What can she

mean by that?'' puzzled Uncle William; turning

to go down the stairway。



Bertram began to paint a very little the next

day。  He painted still more the next; and yet more

again the day following。  He was like a bird let

out of a cage; so joyously alive was he。  The old

sparkle came back to his eye; the old gay smile to

his lips。  Now that they had come back Billy

realized what she had not been conscious of

before: that for several weeks past they had not

been there; and she wondered which hurt the

morethat they had not been there before; or

that they were there now。  Then she scolded

herself roundly for asking the question at all。



They were not easythose days for Billy;

though always to Bertram she managed to show

a cheerfully serene face。  To Uncle William; also;

and to Aunt Hannah she showed a smiling coun

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