heartbreak house-第8章

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go　comfortably　home　to　supper　after　washing　off　their　rose…pink
wounds。　It　is　nearly　twenty　years　since　I　was　last　obliged　to
introduce　a　play　in　the　form　of　a　book　for　lack　of　an　opportunity
of　presenting　it　in　its　proper　mode　by　a　performance　in　a
theatre。　The　war　has　thrown　me　back　on　this　expedient。　Heartbreak
House　has　not　yet　reached　the　stage。　I　have　withheld　it　because
the　war　has　completely　upset　the　economic　conditions　which
formerly　enabled　serious　drama　to　pay　its　way　in　London。　The
change　is　not　in　the　theatres　nor　in　the　management　of　them；　nor
in　the　authors　and　actors；　but　in　the　audiences。　For　four　years
the　London　theatres　were　crowded　every　night　with　thousands　of
soldiers　on　leave　from　the　front。　These　soldiers　were　not
seasoned　London　playgoers。　A　childish　experience　of　my　own　gave
me　a　clue　to　their　condition。　When　I　was　a　small　boy　I　was　taken
to　the　opera。　I　did　not　then　know　what　an　opera　was；　though　I
could　whistle　a　good　deal　of　opera　music。　I　had　seen　in　my
mother's　album　photographs　of　all　the　great　opera　singers；　mostly
in　evening　dress。　In　the　theatre　I　found　myself　before　a　gilded
balcony　filled　with　persons　in　evening　dress　whom　I　took　to　be
the　opera　singers。　I　picked　out　one　massive　dark　lady　as　Alboni；
and　wondered　how　soon　she　would　stand　up　and　sing。　I　was　puzzled
by　the　fact　that　I　was　made　to　sit　with　my　back　to　the　singers
instead　of　facing　them。　When　the　curtain　went　up；　my　astonishment
and　delight　were　unbounded。



The　Soldier　at　the　Theatre　Front

In　1915；　I　saw　in　the　theatres　men　in　khaki　in　just　the　same
predicament。　To　everyone　who　had　my　clue　to　their　state　of　mind
it　was　evident　that　they　had　never　been　in　a　theatre　before　and
did　not　know　what　it　was。　At　one　of　our　great　variety　theatres　I
sat　beside　a　young　officer；　not　at　all　a　rough　specimen；　who；
even　when　the　curtain　rose　and　enlightened　him　as　to　the　place
where　he　had　to　look　for　his　entertainment；　found　the　dramatic
part　of　it　utterly　incomprehensible。　He　did　not　know　how　to　play
his　part　of　the　game。　He　could　understand　the　people　on　the　stage
singing　and　dancing　and　performing　gymnastic　feats。　He　not　only
understood　but　intensely　enjoyed　an　artist　who　imitated　cocks
crowing　and　pigs　squeaking。　But　the　people　who　pretended　that
they　were　somebody　else；　and　that　the　painted　picture　behind　them
was　real；　bewildered　him。　In　his　presence　I　realized　how　very
sophisticated　the　natural　man　has　to　become　before　the
conventions　of　the　theatre　can　be　easily　acceptable；　or　the
purpose　of　the　drama　obvious　to　him。

Well；　from　the　moment　when　the　routine　of　leave　for　our　soldiers
was　established；　such　novices；　accompanied　by　damsels　（called
flappers）　often　as　innocent　as　themselves；　crowded　the　theatres
to　the　doors。　It　was　hardly　possible　at　first　to　find　stuff　crude
enough　to　nurse　them　on。　The　best　music…hall　comedians　ransacked
their　memories　for　the　oldest　quips　and　the　most　childish　antics
to　avoid　carrying　the　military　spectators　out　of　their　depth。　I
believe　that　this　was　a　mistake　as　far　as　the　novices　were
concerned。　Shakespeare；　or　the　dramatized　histories　of　George
Barnwell；　Maria　Martin；　or　the　Demon　Barber　of　Fleet　Street；
would　probably　have　been　quite　popular　with　them。　But　the　novices
were　only　a　minority　after　all。　The　cultivated　soldier；　who　in
time　of　peace　would　look　at　nothing　theatrical　except　the　most
advanced　postIbsen　plays　in　the　most　artistic　settings；　found
himself；　to　his　own　astonishment；　thirsting　for　silly　jokes；
dances；　and　brainlessly　sensuous　exhibitions　of　pretty　girls。　The
author　of　some　of　the　most　grimly　serious　plays　of　our　time　told
me　that　after　enduring　the　trenches　for　months　without　a　glimpse
of　the　female　of　his　species；　it　gave　him　an　entirely　innocent
but　delightful　pleasure　merely　to　see　a　flapper。　The　reaction
from　the　battle…field　produced　a　condition　of　hyperaesthesia　in
which　all　the　theatrical　values　were　altered。　Trivial　things
gained　intensity　and　stale　things　novelty。　The　actor；　instead　of
having　to　coax　his　audiences　out　of　the　boredom　which　had　driven
them　to　the　theatre　in　an　ill　humor　to　seek　some　sort　of
distraction；　had　only　to　exploit　the　bliss　of　smiling　men　who
were　no　longer　under　fire　and　under　military　discipline；　but
actually　clean　and　comfortable　and　in　a　mood　to　be　pleased　with
anything　and　everything　that　a　bevy　of　pretty　girls　and　a　funny
man；　or　even　a　bevy　of　girls　pretending　to　be　pretty　and　a　man
pretending　to　be　funny；　could　do　for　them。

Then　could　be　seen　every　night　in　the　theatres　oldfashioned
farcical　comedies；　in　which　a　bedroom；　with　four　doors　on　each
side　and　a　practicable　window　in　the　middle；　was　understood　to
resemble　exactly　the　bedroom　in　the　flats　beneath　and　above；　all
three　inhabited　by　couples　consumed　with　jealousy。　When　these
people　came　home　drunk　at　night；　mistook　their　neighbor's　flats
for　their　own；　and　in　due　course　got　into　the　wrong　beds；　it　was
not　only　the　novices　who　found　the　resulting　complications　and
scandals　exquisitely　ingenious　and　amusing；　nor　their　equally
verdant　flappers　who　could　not　help　squealing　in　a　manner　that
astonished　the　oldest　performers　when　the　gentleman　who　had　just
come　in　drunk　through　the　window　pretended　to　undress；　and
allowed　glimpses　of　his　naked　person　to　be　descried　from　time　to
time。



Heartbreak　House

Men　who　had　just　read　the　news　that　Charles　Wyndham　was　dying；
and　were　thereby　sadly　reminded　of　Pink　Dominos　and　the　torrent
of　farcical　comedies　that　followed　it　in　his　heyday　until　every
trick　of　that　trade　had　become　so　stale　that　the　laughter　they
provoked　turned　to　loathing：　these　veterans　also；　when　they
returned　from　the　field；　were　as　much　pleased　by　what　they　knew
to　be　stale　and　foolish　as　the　novices　by　what　they　thought　fresh
and　clever。



Commerce　in　the　Theatre

Wellington　said　that　an　army　moves　on　its　belly。　So　does　a　London
theatre。　Before　a　man　acts　he　must　eat。　Before　he　performs　plays
he　must　pay　rent。　In　London　we　have　no　theatres　for　the　welfare
of　the　people：　they　are　all　for　the　sole　purpose　of　producing　the
utmost　obtainable　rent　for　the　proprietor。　If　the　twin　flats　and
twin　beds　produce　a　guinea　more　than　Shakespeare；　out　goes
Shakespeare　and　in　come　the　twin　flats　and　the　twin　beds。　If　the
brainless　bevy　of　pretty　girls　and　the　funny　man　outbid　Mozart；
out　goes　Mozart。



Unser　Shakespeare

Before　the　war　an　effort　was　made　to　remedy　this　by　establishing
a　national　theatre　in　celebration　of　the　tercentenary　of　the
death　of　Shakespeare。　A　committee　was　formed；　and　all　sorts　of
illustrious　and　influential　persons　lent　their　names　to　a　grand
appeal　to　our　national　culture。　My　play；　The　Dark　Lady　of　The
Sonnets；　was　one　of　the　incidents　of　that　appeal。　After　some
years　of　effort　the　result　was　a　single　handsome　subscription
from　a　German　gentleman。　Like　the　celebrated　swearer　in　the
anecdote　when　the　cart　containing　all　his　household　goods　lost
its　tailboard　at　the　top　of　the　hill　and　let　its　contents　roll　in
ruin　to　the　bottom；　I　can　only　say；　〃I　cannot　do　justice　to　this
situation；〃　and　let　it　pass　without　another　word。



The　Higher　Drama　put　out　of　Action

The　effect　of　the　war　on　the　London　theatres　may　now　be　imagined。
The　beds　and　the　bevies　drove　every　higher　form　of　art　out　of　it。
Rents　went　up　to　an　unprecedented　figure。　At　the　same　time　prices
doubled　everywhere　except　at　the　theatre　pay…boxes；　and　raised
the　expenses　of　management　to　such　a　degree　that　unless　the
houses　were　quite　full　every　night；　profit　was　impossible。　Even
bare　solvency　could　not　be　attained　without　a　very　wide
popularity。　Now　what　had　made　serious　drama　possible　to　a　limited
extent　before　the　war　was　that　a　play　could　pay　its　way　even　if
the　theatre　were　only　half　full　until　Saturday　and　three…quarters
full　then。　A　manager　who　was　an　enthusiast　and　a　desperately　hard
worker；　with　an　occasional　grant…in…aid　from　an　artistically
disposed　millionaire；　and　a　due　proportion　of　those　rare　and
happy　accidents　by　which　plays　of　the　higher　sort　turn　out　to　be
potboilers　as　well；　could　hold　out　for　some　years；　by　which　time
a　relay　might　arri