heartbreak house-第2章

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Government　it　deserves。　It　is　more　to　the　point　that　every
Government　has　the　electorate　it　deserves；　for　the　orators　of　the
front　bench　can　edify　or　debauch　an　ignorant　electorate　at　will。
Thus　our　democracy　moves　in　a　vicious　circle　of　reciprocal
worthiness　and　unworthiness。



Nature's　Long　Credits

Nature's　way　of　dealing　with　unhealthy　conditions　is
unfortunately　not　one　that　compels　us　to　conduct　a　solvent
hygiene　on　a　cash　basis。　She　demoralizes　us　with　long　credits　and
reckless　overdrafts；　and　then　pulls　us　up　cruelly　with
catastrophic　bankruptcies。　Take；　for　example；　common　domestic
sanitation。　A　whole　city　generation　may　neglect　it　utterly　and
scandalously；　if　not　with　absolute　impunity；　yet　without　any　evil
consequences　that　anyone　thinks　of　tracing　to　it。　In　a　hospital
two　generations　of　medical　students　way　tolerate　dirt　and
carelessness；　and　then　go　out　into　general　practice　to　spread　the
doctrine　that　fresh　air　is　a　fad；　and　sanitation　an　imposture　set
up　to　make　profits　for　plumbers。　Then　suddenly　Nature　takes　her
revenge。　She　strikes　at　the　city　with　a　pestilence　and　at　the
hospital　with　an　epidemic　of　hospital　gangrene；　slaughtering
right　and　left　until　the　innocent　young　have　paid　for　the　guilty
old；　and　the　account　is　balanced。　And　then　she　goes　to　sleep
again　and　gives　another　period　of　credit；　with　the　same　result。

This　is　what　has　just　happened　in　our　political　hygiene。
Political　science　has　been　as　recklessly　neglected　by　Governments
and　electorates　during　my　lifetime　as　sanitary　science　was　in　the
days　of　Charles　the　Second。　In　international　relations　diplomacy
has　been　a　boyishly　lawless　affair　of　family　intrigues；
commercial　and　territorial　brigandage；　torpors　of
pseudo…goodnature　produced　by　laziness　and　spasms　of　ferocious
activity　produced　by　terror。　But　in　these　islands　we　muddled
through。　Nature　gave　us　a　longer　credit　than　she　gave　to　France
or　Germany　or　Russia。　To　British　centenarians　who　died　in　their
beds　in　1914；　any　dread　of　having　to　hide　underground　in　London
from　the　shells　of　an　enemy　seemed　more　remote　and　fantastic　than
a　dread　of　the　appearance　of　a　colony　of　cobras　and　rattlesnakes
in　Kensington　Gardens。　In　the　prophetic　works　of　Charles　Dickens
we　were　warned　against　many　evils　which　have　since　come　to　pass；
but　of　the　evil　of　being　slaughtered　by　a　foreign　foe　on　our　own
doorsteps　there　was　no　shadow。　Nature　gave　us　a　very　long　credit；
and　we　abused　it　to　the　utmost。　But　when　she　struck　at　last　she
struck　with　a　vengeance。　For　four　years　she　smote　our　firstborn
and　heaped　on　us　plagues　of　which　Egypt　never　dreamed。　They　were
all　as　preventable　as　the　great　Plague　of　London；　and　came　solely
because　they　had　not　been　prevented。　They　were　not　undone　by
winning　the　war。　The　earth　is　still　bursting　with　the　dead　bodies
of　the　victors。



The　Wicked　Half　Century

It　is　difficult　to　say　whether　indifference　and　neglect　are　worse
than　false　doctrine；　but　Heartbreak　House　and　Horseback　Hall
unfortunately　suffered　from　both。　For　half　a　century　before　the
war　civilization　had　been　going　to　the　devil　very　precipitately
under　the　influence　of　a　pseudo…science　as　disastrous　as　the
blackest　Calvinism。　Calvinism　taught　that　as　we　are
predestinately　saved　or　damned；　nothing　that　we　can　do　can　alter
our　destiny。　Still；　as　Calvinism　gave　the　individual　no　clue　as
to　whether　he　had　drawn　a　lucky　number　or　an　unlucky　one；　it　left
him　a　fairly　strong　interest　in　encouraging　his　hopes　of
salvation　and　allaying　his　fear　of　damnation　by　behaving　as　one
of　the　elect　might　be　expected　to　behave　rather　than　as　one　of
the　reprobate。　But　in　the　middle　of　the　nineteenth　century
naturalists　and　physicists　assured　the　world；　in　the　name　of
Science；　that　salvation　and　damnation　are　all　nonsense；　and　that
predestination　is　the　central　truth　of　religion；　inasmuch　as
human　beings　are　produced　by　their　environment；　their　sins　and
good　deeds　being　only　a　series　of　chemical　and　mechanical
reactions　over　which　they　have　no　control。　Such　figments　as　mind；
choice；　purpose；　conscience；　will；　and　so　forth；　are；　they
taught；　mere　illusions；　produced　because　they　are　useful　in　the
continual　struggle　of　the　human　machine　to　maintain　its
environment　in　a　favorable　condition；　a　process　incidentally
involving　the　ruthless　destruction　or　subjection　of　its
competitors　for　the　supply　（assumed　to　be　limited）　of　subsistence
available。　We　taught　Prussia　this　religion；　and　Prussia　bettered
our　instruction　so　effectively　that　we　presently　found　ourselves
confronted　with　the　necessity　of　destroying　Prussia　to　prevent
Prussia　destroying　us。　And　that　has　just　ended　in　each　destroying
the　other　to　an　extent　doubtfully　reparable　in　our　time。

It　may　be　asked　how　so　imbecile　and　dangerous　a　creed　ever　came
to　be　accepted　by　intelligent　beings。　I　will　answer　that　question
more　fully　in　my　next　volume　of　plays；　which　will　be　entirely
devoted　to　the　subject。　For　the　present　I　will　only　say　that
there　were　better　reasons　than　the　obvious　one　that　such　sham
science　as　this　opened　a　scientific　career　to　very　stupid　men；
and　all　the　other　careers　to　shameless　rascals；　provided　they
were　industrious　enough。　It　is　true　that　this　motive　operated
very　powerfully；　but　when　the　new　departure　in　scientific
doctrine　which　is　associated　with　the　name　of　the　great
naturalist　Charles　Darwin　began；　it　was　not　only　a　reaction
against　a　barbarous　pseudo…evangelical　teleology　intolerably
obstructive　to　all　scientific　progress；　but　was　accompanied；　as
it　happened；　by　discoveries　of　extraordinary　interest　in　physics；
chemistry；　and　that　lifeless　method　of　evolution　which　its
investigators　called　Natural　Selection。　Howbeit；　there　was　only
one　result　possible　in　the　ethical　sphere；　and　that　was　the
banishment　of　conscience　from　human　affairs；　or；　as　Samuel　Butler
vehemently　put　it；　〃of　mind　from　the　universe。〃



Hypochondria

Now　Heartbreak　House；　with　Butler　and　Bergson　and　Scott　Haldane
alongside　Blake　and　the　other　major　poets　on　its　shelves　（to　say
nothing　of　Wagner　and　the　tone　poets）；　was　not　so　completely
blinded　by　the　doltish　materialism　of　the　laboratories　as　the
uncultured　world　outside。　But　being　an　idle　house　it　was　a
hypochondriacal　house；　always　running　after　cures。　It　would　stop
eating　meat；　not　on　valid　Shelleyan　grounds；　but　in　order　to　get
rid　of　a　bogey　called　Uric　Acid；　and　it　would　actually　let　you
pull　all　its　teeth　out　to　exorcise　another　demon　named　Pyorrhea。
It　was　superstitious；　and　addicted　to　table…rapping；
materialization　seances；　clairvoyance；　palmistry；　crystal…gazing
and　the　like　to　such　an　extent　that　it　may　be　doubted　whether
ever　before　in　the　history　of　the　world　did　soothsayers；
astrologers；　and　unregistered　therapeutic　specialists　of　all
sorts　flourish　as　they　did　during　this　half　century　of　the　drift
to　the　abyss。　The　registered　doctors　and　surgeons　were　hard　put
to　it　to　compete　with　the　unregistered。　They　were　not　clever
enough　to　appeal　to　the　imagination　and　sociability　of　the
Heartbreakers　by　the　arts　of　the　actor；　the　orator；　the　poet；　the
winning　conversationalist。　They　had　to　fall　back　coarsely　on　the
terror　of　infection　and　death。　They　prescribed　inoculations　and
operations。　Whatever　part　of　a　human　being　could　be　cut　out
without　necessarily　killing　him　they　cut　out；　and　he　often　died
（unnecessarily　of　course）　in　consequence。　From　such　trifles　as
uvulas　and　tonsils　they　went　on　to　ovaries　and　appendices　until
at　last　no　one's　inside　was　safe。　They　explained　that　the　human
intestine　was　too　long；　and　that　nothing　could　make　a　child　of
Adam　healthy　except　short　circuiting　the　pylorus　by　cutting　a
length　out　of　the　lower　intestine　and　fastening　it　directly　to
the　stomach。　As　their　mechanist　theory　taught　them　that　medicine
was　the　business　of　the　chemist's　laboratory；　and　surgery　of　the
carpenter's　shop；　and　also　that　Science　（by　which　they　meant
their　practices）　was　so　important　that　no　consideration　for　the
interests　of　any　individual　creature；　whether　frog　or
philosopher；　much　less　the　vulgar　commonplaces　of　sentimental
ethics；　could　weigh　for　a　moment　against　the　remotest　off…chan