heartbreak house-第17章

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bell　ring？　The　door　is　open。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　Precisely。　So　I　ventured　to　come　in。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Quite　right。　I　will　see　about　a　room　for　you
＇he　makes　for　the　door＇。

THE　GENTLEMAN　＇stopping　him＇。　But　I'm　afraid　you　don't　know　who　I
am。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　DO　you　suppose　that　at　my　age　I　make
distinctions　between　one　fellow　creature　and　another？　＇He　goes
out。　Mangan　and　the　newcomer　stare　at　one　another＇。

MANGAN。　Strange　character；　Captain　Shotover；　sir。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　Very。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER　＇shouting　outside＇。　Hesione；　another　person　has
arrived　and　wants　a　room。　Man　about　town；　well　dressed；　fifty。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　Fancy　Hesione's　feelings！　May　I　ask　are　you　a
member　of　the　family？

MANGAN。　No。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　I　am。　At　least　a　connection。

Mrs　Hushabye　comes　back。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　How　do　you　do？　How　good　of　you　to　come！

THE　GENTLEMAN。　I　am　very　glad　indeed　to　make　your　acquaintance；
Hesione。　＇Instead　of　taking　her　hand　he　kisses　her。　At　the　same
moment　the　captain　appears　in　the　doorway＇。　You　will　excuse　my
kissing　your　daughter；　Captain；　when　I　tell　you　that

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Stuff！　Everyone　kisses　my　daughter。　Kiss　her　as
much　as　you　like　＇he　makes　for　the　pantry＇。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　Thank　you。　One　moment；　Captain。　＇The　captain　halts
and　turns。　The　gentleman　goes　to　him　affably＇。　Do　you　happen　to
remember　but　probably　you　don't；　as　it　occurred　many　years　ago
that　your　younger　daughter　married　a　numskull？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Yes。　She　said　she'd　marry　anybody　to　get　away
from　this　house。　I　should　not　have　recognized　you：　your　head　is
no　longer　like　a　walnut。　Your　aspect　is　softened。　You　have　been
boiled　in　bread　and　milk　for　years　and　years；　like　other　married
men。　Poor　devil！　＇He　disappears　into　the　pantry＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE　＇going　past　Mangan　to　the　gentleman　and　scrutinizing
him＇。　I　don't　believe　you　are　Hastings　Utterword。

THE　GENTLEMAN。　I　am　not。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Then　what　business　had　you　to　kiss　me？

THE　GENTLEMAN。　I　thought　I　would　like　to。　The　fact　is；　I　am
Randall　Utterword；　the　unworthy　younger　brother　of　Hastings。　I
was　abroad　diplomatizing　when　he　was　married。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇dashing　in＇。　Hesione；　where　is　the　key　of　the
wardrobe　in　my　room？　My　diamonds　are　in　my　dressing…bag：　I　must
lock　it　up＇recognizing　the　stranger　with　a　shock＇　Randall；　how
dare　you？　＇She　marches　at　him　past　Mrs　Hushabye；　who　retreats　and
joins　Mangan　near　the　sofa＇。

RANDALL。　How　dare　I　what？　I　am　not　doing　anything。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Who　told　you　I　was　here？

RANDALL。　Hastings。　You　had　just　left　when　I　called　on　you　at
Claridge's；　so　I　followed　you　down　here。　You　are　looking
extremely　well。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Don't　presume　to　tell　me　so。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　What　is　wrong　with　Mr　Randall；　Addy？

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇recollecting　herself＇。　Oh；　nothing。　But　he　has　no
right　to　come　bothering　you　and　papa　without　being　invited　＇she
goes　to　the　window…seat　and　sits　down；　turning　away　from　them
ill…humoredly　and　looking　into　the　garden；　where　Hector　and　Ellie
are　now　seen　strolling　together＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　I　think　you　have　not　met　Mr　Mangan；　Addy。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇turning　her　head　and　nodding　coldly　to　Mangan＇。　I
beg　your　pardon。　Randall；　you　have　flustered　me　so：　I　make　a
perfect　fool　of　myself。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Lady　Utterword。　My　sister。　My　younger　sister。

MANGAN　＇bowing＇。　Pleased　to　meet　you；　Lady　Utterword。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇with　marked　interest＇。　Who　is　that　gentleman
walking　in　the　garden　with　Miss　Dunn？

MRS　HUSHABYE。　I　don't　know。　She　quarrelled　mortally　with　my
husband　only　ten　minutes　ago；　and　I　didn't　know　anyone　else　had
come。　It　must　be　a　visitor。　＇She　goes　to　the　window　to　look＇。　Oh；
it　is　Hector。　They've　made　it　up。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Your　husband！　That　handsome　man？

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Well；　why　shouldn't　my　husband　be　a　handsome　man？

RANDALL　＇joining　them　at　the　window＇。　One's　husband　never　is；
Ariadne　＇he　sits　by　Lady　Utterword；　on　her　right＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　One's　sister's　husband　always　is；　Mr　Randall。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Don't　be　vulgar；　Randall。　And　you；　Hesione；　are
just　as　bad。

Ellie　and　Hector　come　in　from　the　garden　by　the　starboard　door。
Randall　rises。　Ellie　retires　into　the　corner　near　the　pantry。
Hector　comes　forward；　and　Lady　Utterword　rises　looking　her　very
best。

MRS。　HUSHABYE。　Hector；　this　is　Addy。

HECTOR　＇apparently　surprised＇。　Not　this　lady。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇smiling＇。　Why　not？

HECTOR　＇looking　at　her　with　a　piercing　glance　of　deep　but
respectful　admiration；　his　moustache　bristling＇。　I　thought
＇pulling　himself　together＇。　I　beg　your　pardon；　Lady　Utterword。　I
am　extremely　glad　to　welcome　you　at　last　under　our　roof　＇he
offers　his　hand　with　grave　courtesy＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　She　wants　to　be　kissed；　Hector。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Hesione！　＇But　she　still　smiles＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Call　her　Addy；　and　kiss　her　like　a　good
brother…in…law；　and　have　done　with　it。　＇She　leaves　them　to
themselves＇。

HECTOR。　Behave　yourself；　Hesione。　Lady　Utterword　is　entitled　not
only　to　hospitality　but　to　civilization。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇gratefully＇。　Thank　you；　Hector。　＇They　shake　hands
cordially＇。

Mazzini　Dunn　is　seen　crossing　the　garden　from　starboard　to　port。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER　＇coming　from　the　pantry　and　addressing　Ellie＇。
Your　father　has　washed　himself。

ELLIE　＇quite　self…possessed＇。　He　often　does；　Captain　Shotover。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　A　strange　conversion！　I　saw　him　through　the
pantry　window。

Mazzini　Dunn　enters　through　the　port　window　door；　newly　washed
and　brushed；　and　stops；　smiling　benevolently；　between　Mangan　and
Mrs　Hushabye。

MRS　HUSHABYE　＇introducing＇。　Mr　Mazzini　Dunn；　Lady　Utoh；　I
forgot：　you've　met。　＇Indicating　Ellie＇　Miss　Dunn。

MAZZINI　＇walking　across　the　room　to　take　Ellie's　hand；　and
beaming　at　his　own　naughty　irony＇。　I　have　met　Miss　Dunn　also。　She
is　my　daughter。　＇He　draws　her　arm　through　his　caressingly＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Of　course：　how　stupid！　Mr　Utterword；　my　sister's
er

RANDALL　＇shaking　hands　agreeably＇。　Her　brother…in…law；　Mr　Dunn。
How　do　you　do？

MRS　HUSHABYE。　This　is　my　husband。

HECTOR。　We　have　met；　dear。　Don't　introduce　us　any　more。　＇He　moves
away　to　the　big　chair；　and　adds＇　Won't　you　sit　down；　Lady
Utterword？　＇She　does　so　very　graciously＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Sorry。　I　hate　it：　it's　like　making　people　show
their　tickets。

MAZZINI　＇sententiously＇。　How　little　it　tells　us；　after　all！　The
great　question　is；　not　who　we　are；　but　what　we　are。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Ha！　What　are　you？

MAZZINI　＇taken　aback＇。　What　am　I？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　A　thief；　a　pirate；　and　a　murderer。

MAZZINI。　I　assure　you　you　are　mistaken。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　An　adventurous　life；　but　what　does　it　end　in？
Respectability。　A　ladylike　daughter。　The　language　and　appearance
of　a　city　missionary。　Let　it　be　a　warning　to　all　of　you　＇he　goes
out　through　the　garden＇。

DUNN。　I　hope　nobody　here　believes　that　I　am　a　thief；　a　pirate；　or
a　murderer。　Mrs　Hushabye；　will　you　excuse　me　a　moment？　I　must
really　go　and　explain。　＇He　follows　the　captain＇。

MRS　HUSHABYE　＇as　he　goes＇。　It's　no　use。　You'd　really　better
＇but　Dunn　has　vanished＇。　We　had　better　all　go　out　and　look　for
some　tea。　We　never　have　regular　tea；　but　you　can　always　get　some
when　you　want：　the　servants　keep　it　stewing　all　day。　The　kitchen
veranda　is　the　best　place　to　ask。　May　I　show　you？　＇She　goes　to
the　starboard　door＇。

RANDALL　＇going　with　her＇。　Thank　you；　I　don't　think　I'll　take　any
tea　this　afternoon。　But　if　you　will　show　me　the　garden

MRS　HUSHABYE。　There's　nothing　to　see　in　the　garden　except　papa's
observatory；　and　a　gravel　pit　with　a　cave　where　he　keeps　dynamite
and　things　of　that　sort。　However；　it's　pleasanter　out　of　doors；
so　come　along。

RANDALL。　Dynamite！　Isn't　that　rather　risky？

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Well；　we　don't　sit　in　the　gravel　pit　when　there's　a
thunderstorm。

LADY　UTTERORRD。　That's　something　new。　What　is　the　dynamite　for？

HECTOR。　To　blow　up　the　human　race　if　it　goes　too　far。　He　is
trying　to　discover　a　psychic　ray　that　will　explode　all　the
explosive　at　the　well　of　a　Mahatma。

ELLIE。　The　captain's　tea　is　delicious；　Mr　Utterword。

MRS　HUSHABYE　＇stopping　in　the　doorway＇。　Do　you　mean　to　say　that
you've　had　some　of　my　father's