padre ignacio-第5章
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were riding homeward。 Side by side they rode; companions to the eye; but
wide apart in mood; within the turbulent young figure of Gaston dwelt a
spirit that could not be more at ease; while revolt was steadily kindling
beneath the schooled and placid mask of the Padre。
Yet still the strangeness of his situation in such a remote; resourceless
place came back as a marvel into the young man's lively mind。 Twenty
years in prison; he thought; and hardly aware of it! And he glanced at
the silent priest。 A man so evidently fond of music; of theaters; of the
world; to whom pressed flowers had meant something onceand now
contented to bleach upon these wastes! Not even desirous of a brief
holiday; but finding an old organ and some old operas enough recreation!
〃It is his age; I suppose;〃 thought Gaston。 And then the notion of
himself when he should be sixty occurred to him; and he spoke。
〃Do you know; I do not believe;〃 said he; 〃that I should ever reach such
contentment as yours。〃
〃Perhaps you will;〃 said Padre Ignacio; in a low voice。
〃Never!〃 declared the youth。 〃It comes only to the few; I am sure。〃
〃Yes。 Only to the few;〃 murmured the Padre。
〃I am certain that it must be a great possession;〃 Gaston continued;
〃and yetand yetdear me! life is a splendid thing!〃
〃There are several ways to live it;〃 said the Padre。
〃Only one for me!〃 cried Gaston。 〃Action; men; women; thingsto be there;
to be known; to play a part; to sit in the front seats; to have people
tell one another; 'There goes Gaston Villere!' and to deserve one's
prominence。 Why; if I was Padre of Santa Ysabel del Mar for twenty years
no! for one yeardo you know what I should have done? Some day it
would have been too much for me。 I should have left these savages to a
pastor nearer their own level; and I should have ridden down this canyon
upon my mule; and stepped on board the barkentine; and gone back to my
proper sphere。 You will understand; sir; that I am far from venturing to
make any personal comment。 I am only thinking what a world of difference
lies between natures that can feel as alike as we do upon so many
subjects。 Why; not since leaving New Orleans have I met any one with whom
I could talk; except of the weather and the brute interests common to us
all。 That such a one as you should be here is like a dream。〃
〃But it is not a dream;〃 said the Padre。
〃And; sirpardon me if I do say thisare you not wasted at Santa
Ysabel del Mar? I have seen the priests at the other missions。 They are
the sort of good men that I expected。 But are you needed to save such
souls as these?〃
〃There is no aristocracy of souls;〃 said the Padre; again whispering。
〃But the body and the mind!〃 cried Gaston。 〃My God; are they nothing? Do
you think that they are given to us for nothing but a trap? You cannot
teach such a doctrine with your library there。 And how about all the
cultivated men and women away from whose quickening society the brightest
of us grow numb? You have held out。 But will it be for long? Are you
never to save any souls of your own kind? Are not twenty years of
mesclados enough? No; no!〃 finished young Gaston; hot with his unforeseen
eloquence; 〃I should ride down some morning and take the barkentine。〃
Padre Ignacio was silent for a space。
〃I have not offended you?〃 asked the young man。
〃No。 Anything but that。 You are surprised that I shouldchooseto stay
here。 Perhaps you may have wondered how I came to be here at all?〃
〃I had not intended any impertinent〃
〃Oh no。 Put such an idea out of your head; my son。 You may remember that
I was going to make you a confession about my operas。 Let us sit down in
this shade。〃
So they picketed the mules near the stream and sat down。
IV
You have seen;〃 began Padre Ignacio; 〃what sort of a man Iwas once。
Indeed; it seems very strange to myself that you should have been here
not twenty…four hours yet; and know so much of me。 For there has come no
one else at all〃the Padre paused a moment and mastered the
unsteadiness that he had felt approaching in his voice〃there has been
no one else to whom I have talked so freely。 In my early days I had no
thought of being a priest。 By parents destined me for a diplomatic
career。 There was plenty of money andand all the rest of it; for by
inheritance came to me the acquaintance of many people whose names you
would be likely to have heard of。 Cities; people of fashion; artiststhe
whole of it was my element and my choice; and by…and…by I married; not
only where it was desirable; but where I loved。 Then for the first time
Death laid his staff upon my enchantment; and I understood many things
that had been only words to me hitherto。 To have been a husband for a
year; and a father for a moment; and in that moment to lose allthis
unblinded me。 Looking back; it seemed to me that I had never done anything
except for myself all my days。 I left the world。 In due time I became a
priest and lived in my own country。 But my worldly experience and my
secular education had given to my opinions a turn too liberal for the
place where my work was laid。 I was soon advised concerning this by those
in authority over me。 And since they could not change me and I could them;
yet wished to work and to teach; the New World was suggested; and I
volunteered to give the rest of my life to missions。 It was soon found
that some one was needed here; and for this little place I sailed; and to
these humble people I have dedicated my service。 They are pastoral
creatures of the soil。 Their vineyard and cattle days are apt to be like
the sun and storm around themstrong alike in their evil and in their
good。 All their years they live as childrenchildren with men's passions
given to them like deadly weapons; unable to measure the harm their
impulses may bring。 Hence; even in their crimes; their hearts will
generally open soon to the one great key of love; while civilization
makes locks which that key cannot always fit at the first turn。 And
coming to know this;〃 said Padre Ignacio; fixing his eyes steadily upon
Gaston; 〃you will understand how great a privilege it is to help such
people; and how the sense of something accomplishedunder Godshould
bring Contentment with Renunciation。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Gaston Villere。 Then; thinking of himself; 〃I can understand
it in a man like you。〃
〃Do not speak of me at all!〃 exclaimed the Padre; almost passionately。
〃But pray Heaven that you may find the thing yourself some day
Contentment with Renunciationand never let it go。〃
〃Amen!〃 said Gaston; strangely moved。
〃That is the whole of my story;〃 the priest continued; with no more of
the recent stress in his voice。 〃And now I have talked to you about
myself quite enough。 But you must have my confession。〃 He had now resumed
entirely his half…playful tone。 〃I was just a little mistaken; you see
too self…reliant; perhapswhen I supposed; in my first missionary ardor;
that I could get on without any remembrance of the world at all。 I found
that I could not。 And so I have taught the old operas to my choirsuch
parts of them as are within our compass and suitable for worship。 And
certain of my friends still alive at home are good enough to remember this
taste of mine and to send me each year some of the new music that I should
never hear of otherwise。 Then we study these things also。 And although
our organ is a miserable affair; Felipe manages very cleverly to make it
do。 And while the voices are singing these operas; especially the old
ones; what harm is there if sometimes the priest is thinking of something
else? So there's my confession! And now; whether Trovatore is come or
not; I shall not allow you to leave us until you have taught all you know
of it to Felipe。〃
The new opera; however; had duly arrived。 And as he turned its pages
Padre Ignacio was quick to seize at once upon the music that could be
taken into his c