letters of cicero-第5章
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e of such humiliation as this; and in a state of such utter ruin。 Wherefore; what do you mean by writing to me about negotiating a bill of exchange? As though I were not now wholly dependent on your means! And that is just the very thing in which 1 see and feel; to my misery; of what a culpable act I have been guilty in squandering to no purpose the money which I received from the treasury in your name; while you have to satisfy your creditors out of the very vitals of yourself and your son。 However; the sum mentioned in your letter has been paid to M。 Antonius; and the same amount to Caepio。 For me the sum at present in my hands is sufficient for what I contemplate doing。 For in either casewhether I am restored or given up in despairI shall not want any more money。 For yourself; if you are molested; I think you should apply to Crassus and Calidius。 I don't know how far Hortensius is to be trusted。 Myself; with the most elaborate presence of affection and the closest daily intimacy; he treated with the most utter want of principle and thc most consummate treachery; and Q。 Arrius helped him in it: acting under whose advice; promises; and injunctions; I was left helpless to fall into this disaster。 But this you will keep dark for fear they might injure you。 Take care alsoand it is on this account that I think you should cultivate Hortensius himself by means of Pomponiusthat the epigram on the irs Aurelia attributed to you when candidate for the aedileship is not proved by false testimony to be yours。 For there is nothing that I am so afraid of as that; when people understand how much pity for me your prayers and your acquittal will rouse; they may attack you with all the greater violence。 Messahla I reckon as really attached to you: Pompey I regard as still pretending only。 But may you never have to put these things to the test! And that prayer I would have offered to the gods had they not ceased to listen to prayers of mine。 However; I do pray that they may be content with these endless miseries of ours; among which; after all; there is no discredit for any wrong thing donesorrow is the beginning and end; sorrow that punishment is most severe when our conduct has been most unexceptionable。 As to my daughter and yours and my young Cicero; why should I recommend them to you; my dear brother? Rather I grieve that their orphan state will cause you no less sorrow than it does me。 Yet as long as you are uncondemned they will not be fatherless。 The rest; by my hopes of restoration and the privilege of dying in my fatherland; my tears will not allow me to write! Terentia also I would ask you to protect; and to write me word on every subject。 Be as brave as the nature of the case admits。
Thessalonica; 13 June。
VII
To ATTICUS (IN EPIRUS)
ROME (SEPTEMBER)
DIRECTLY I arrived at Rome; and there was anyone to whom I could safely intrust a letter for you; I thought the very first thing I ought to do was to congratulate you in your absence on my return。 For I knew; to speak candidly; that though in giving me advice you had not been more courageous or far…seeing than myself; nor considering my devotion to you in the pasttoo careful in protecting me from disaster; yet that youthough sharing in the first instance in my mistake; or rather madness; and in my groundless terrorhad nevertheless been deeply grieved at our separation; and had bestowed immense pains; zeal; care; and labour in securing my return。 Accordingly; I can truly assure you of this; that in the midst of supreme joy and the most gratifying congratulations; the one thing wanting to fill my cup of happiness to the brim is the sight of you; or rather your embrace; and if I ever forfeit that again; when I have once got possession of it; and if; too; I do not exact the full delights of your charming society that have fallen into arrear in the past; I shall certainly consider myself unworthy of this renewal of my good fortune。
In regard to my political position; I have resumed what I thought there would be the utmost difficulty in recoveringmy brilliant standing at the bar; my influence in the senate; and a popularity with the loyalists even greater than I desired。 In regard; however; to my private propertyas to which you are well aware to what an extent it has been crippled; scattered; and plunderedI am in great difficulties; and stand in need; not so much of your means (which I look upon as my own); as of your advice for collecting and restoring to a sound state the fragments that remain。 For the present; though I believe everything finds its way to you in the letters of your friends; or even by messengers and rumour; yet I will write briefly what I think you would like to learn from niy letters above all others。 On the 4th of August I started froui Dyrrarhium; the very day on which the law about me was carried。 I arrived at Brundisium on the 5th of August。 There my dear Tulhiola met me on what was her own birthday; which happened also to be the name…day of the colony of Brundisium and of the temple of Safety; near your house。 This coincidence was noticed and celebrated with warm congratulations by the citizens of Brundisium。 On the 8th of August; while still at Brundisium; I learnt by a letter from Quintus that the law had been passed at the comitia centuriata with a surprising enthusiasm on the part of all ages and ranks; and with an incredible influx of voters from Italy。 I then commenced my journey; amidst the compliments of the men of highest consideration at Brundisium; and was met at every point by legates bearing congratulations。 My arrival in the neighbourhood of the city was the signal for every soul of every order known to my nomenclator coming out to meet me; except those enemies who could not either dissemble or deny the fact of their being such。 On my arrival at the Porta Capena; the steps of the temples were already thronged from top to bottom by the populace; and while their congratulations were displayed by the loudest possible applause; a similar throng and similar applause accompanied me right up to the Capitol; and in the forum and on the Capitol itself there was again a wonderful crowd。 Next day; in the senate; that is; the 5th of September; I spoke my thanks to the senators。 Two days after thatthere having been a very heavy rise in the price of corn; and great crowds having flocked first to the theatre and then to the senate…house; shouting out; at the instigation of Clodius; that the scarcity of corn was my doingmeetings of the senate being held on those days to discuss the corn question; and Pompey being called upon to undertake the management of its supply in the common talk not only of the plebs; but of the aristocrats also; and being himself desirous of the commission; when the people at large called upon me by name to support a decree to that effect; I did so; and gave my vote in a carefully…worded speech。 The other consulars; except Messalla and Afranius; having absented themselves on the ground that they could not vote with safety to themselves; a decree of the senate was passed in the sense of my motion; namely; that Pompey should be appealed to to undertake the business; and that a law should be proposed to that effect。 This decree of the senate having been publicly read; and the people having; after the senseless and new…fangled custom that now prevails; applauded the mention of my name; I delivered a speech。 All the magistrates present; except one praetor and two tribunes; called on me to speak。 Next day a full senate; including all the consulars; granted everything that Pompey asked for。 Having demanded fifteen legates; he named me first in the list; and said that he should regard me in all things as a second self。 The consuls drew up a law by which complete control over the corn…supply for five years throughout the whole world was given to Pompey。 A second law is drawn up by Messius; granting him power over all money; and adding a fleet and army; and an imperium in the provinces superior to that of their governors。 After that our consular law seems moderate indeed: that of Messius is quite intolerable。 Pompey professes to prefer the former; his friends the latter。 The consulars led by Favonius murmur: I hold my tongue; the more so that the