letters of cicero-第13章
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the other citizens。〃 I called to mind that in my consulship； from the very 1st of January； such a foundation was laid of encouragement for the senate； that no one ought to have been surprised that on the 5th of December there was so much spirit and such commanding influence in that house。 I also remember that when I became a private citizen up to the consulship of Caesar and Bibulus； when the opinions expressed by me had great weight in the senate； the feeling among all the loyalists was invariable。 Afterwards； while you were holding the province of hither Spain with imperiuni and the Republic had no genuine consuls； but mere hucksters of provinces； mere slaves and agents of sedition； an accident threw my head as an apple of discord into the midst of contending factions and civil broils。 And in that hour of danger； though a unanimity was displayed on the part of the senate that was surprising； on the part of all Italy surpassing belief； and of all the loyalists unparalleled； in standing forth in my defence； I will not say what happenedfor the blame attaches to many； and is of various shades of turpitudeI will only say briefly that it was not the rank and file； but the leaders； that played me false。 And in this matter； though some blame does attach to those who failed to defend me； no less attaches to those who abandoned me： and if those who were frightened deserve reproach； if there are such； still more are those to be blamed who pretended to be frightened。 At any rate； my policy is justly to be praised for refusing to allow my fellow citizens （preserved by me and ardently desiring to preserve me） to be exposed while bereft of leaders to armed slaves； and for preferring that it should be made manifest how much force there might be in the unanimity of the loyalists； if they had been permitted to champion my cause before I had fallen； when after that fall they had proved strong enough to raise me up again。 And the real feelings of these men you not only had the penetration to see； when bringing forward my case； but the power to encourage and keep alive。 In promoting which measureI will not merely not deny； but shall always remember also and gladly proclaim ityou found certain men of the highest rank more courageous in securing my restoration than they had been in preserving me from my fall： and； if they had chosen to maintain that frame of mind； they would have recovered their own commanding position along with my salvation。 For when the spirit of the loyalists had been renewed by your consulship； and they had been roused from their dismay by the extreme firmness and rectitude of your official conduct； when； above all； Pompey's support had been secured； and when Caesar； too； with all the prestige of his brilliant achievements； after being honoured with unique and unprecedented marks of distinction and compliments by the senate； was now supporting the dignity of the house； there could have been no opportunity for a disloyal citizen of outraging the Republic。
But now notice； I beg； what actually ensued。 First of all； that intruder upon the women's rites； who had shewn no more respect for the Bona Dea than for his three sisters； secured immunity by the votes of those men who； when a tribune wished by a legal action to exact penalties from a seditious citizen by the agency of the loyalists； deprived the Republic of what would have been hereafter a most splendid precedent for the punishment of sedition。 And these same persons； in the case of the monument； which was not mine； indeedfor it was not erected from the proceeds of spoils won by me； and I had nothing to do with it beyond giving out the contract for its constructionwell； they allowed this monument of the senate's to have branded upon it the name of a public enemy； and an inscription written in blood。 That those men wished my safety rouses my liveliest gratitude； but I could have wished that they had not chosen to take my bare safety into consideration； like doctors； but； like trainers； my strength and complexion also！ As it is； just as Apelles perfected the head and bust of his Venus with the most elaborate art； but left the rest of her body in the rough； so certain persons only took pains with my head； and left the rest of my body unfinished and unworked。 Yet in this matter I have falsified the expectation； not only of the jealous； but also of the downright hostile； who formerly conceived a wrong opinion from the case of Quintus Metellus； son of Luciusthe most energetic and gallant man in the world； and in my opinion of surpassing courage and firmnesswho； people say； was much cast down and dispirited after his return from exile。 Now； in the first place； we are asked to believe that a man who accepted exile with entire willingness and remarkable cheerfulness； and never took any pains at all to get recalled； was crushed in spirit about an affair in which he had shewn more firmness and constancy than anyone else； even than the preeminent M。 Scaurus himself！ But； again； the account they had received； or rather the conjectures they were indulging in about him； they now transferred to me； imagining that I should be more than usually broken in spirit： whereas； in fact； the Republic was inspiring me with even greater courage than I had ever had before； by making it plain that I was the one citizen it could not do without； and by the fact that while a bill proposed by only one tribune had recalled Metellus； the whole state had joined as one man in recalling methe senate leading the way； the whole of Italy following after； eight of the tribunes publishing the bill； a consul putting the question at the centuriate assembly； all orders and individuals pressing it on； in fact； with all the forces at its command。 Nor is it the case that I afterwards made any pretension； or am making any at this day； which can justly offend anyone； even the most malevolent： my only effort is that I may not fail either my friends or those more remotely connected with me in either active service； or counsel； or personal exertion。 This course of life perhaps offends those who fix their eyes on the glitter and show of my professional position； but are unable to appreciate its anxieties and laboriousness。
Again； they make no concealment of their dissatisfaction on the ground that in the speeches which I make in the senate in praise of Caesar I am departing from my old policy。 But while giving explanations on the points which I put before you a short time ago； I will not keep till the last the following； which I have already touched upon。 You will not find； my dear Lentulus； the sentiments of the loyalists the same as you left themstrengthened by my consulship； suffering relapse at intervals afterwards； crushed down before your consulship； revived by you： they have now been abandoned by those whose duty it was to have maintained them： and this fact they； who in the old state of things as it existed in our day used to be called Optiinates； not only declare by look and expression of countenance； by which a false pretence is easiest supported； but have proved again and again by their actual sympathies and votes。 Accordingly； the entire view and aim of wise citizens； such as I wish both to be and to be reckoned； must needs have undergone a change。 For that is the maxim of that same great Plato； whom I emphatically regard as my master： 〃Maintain a political controversy only so far as you can convince your fellow citizens of its justice： never offer violence to parent or fatherland。〃 He； it is true； alleges this as his motive for having abstained from politics； because； having found the Athenian people all but in its dotage； and seeing that it could not be ruled by persuasion； or by anything short of compulsion； while he doubted the possibility of persuasion； he looked upon compulsion as criminal。 My position was different in this： as the people was not in its dotage； nor the question of engaging in politics still an open one for me； I was bound hand and foot。 Yet I rejoiced that I was permitted in one and the same cause to support a policy at once advantageous to myself and acceptable to every loyalist。 An additional motive was Caesar's memorable and almost superhuman kindness to myself and my brother； who thus would ha
