letters to his son, 1749-第32章
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part; however; in young companies; nay; excel; if you can; in all the social and convivial joy and festivity that become youth。 Trust them with your love tales; if you please; but keep your serious views secret。 Trust those only to some tried friend; more experienced than yourself; and who; being in a different walk of life from you; is not likely to become your rival; for I would not advise you to depend so much upon the heroic virtue of mankind; as to hope or believe that your competitor will ever be your friend; as to the object of that competition。
These are reserves and cautions very necessary to have; but very imprudent to show; the 'volto sciolto' should accompany them。 Adieu。
LETTER XCVIII
DEAR BOY: Great talents and great virtues (if you should have them) will procure you the respect and the admiration of mankind; but it is the lesser talents; the 'leniores virtutes'; which must procure you their love and affection。 The former; unassisted and unadorned by the latter; will extort praise; but will; at the same time; excite both fear and envy; two sentiments absolutely incompatible with love and affection。
Caesar had all the great vices; and Cato all the great virtues; that men could have。 But Caesar had the 'leniores virtutes' which Cato wanted; and which made him beloved; even by his enemies; and gained him the hearts of mankind; in spite of their reason: while Cato was not even beloved by his friends; notwithstanding the esteem and respect which they could not refuse to his virtues; ;and I am apt to think; that if Caesar had wanted; and Cato possessed; those 'leniores virtutes'; the former would not have attempted (at least with success); and the latter could have protected; the liberties of Rome。 Mr。 Addison; in his 〃Cato;〃 says of Caesar (and I believe with truth);
〃Curse on his virtues; they've undone his country。〃
By which he means those lesser; but engaging virtues of gentleness; affability; complaisance; and good humor。 The knowledge of a scholar; the courage of a hero; and the virtue of a Stoic; will be admired; but if the knowledge be accompanied with arrogance; the courage with ferocity; and the virtue with inflexible severity; the man will never be loved。 The heroism of Charles XII。 of Sweden (if his brutal courage deserves that name) was universally admired; but the man nowhere beloved。 Whereas Henry IV。 of France; who had full as much courage; and was much longer engaged in wars; was generally beloved upon account of his lesser and social virtues。 We are all so formed; that our understandings are generally the DUPES of our hearts; that is; of our passions; and the surest way to the former is through the latter; which must be engaged by the 'leniores virtutes' alone; and the manner of exerting them。 The insolent civility of a proud man is (for example) if possible; more shocking than his rudeness could be; because he shows you by his manner that he thinks it mere condescension in him; and that his goodness alone bestows upon you what you have no pretense to claim。 He intimates his protection; instead of his friendship; by a gracious nod; instead of a usual bow; and rather signifies his consent that you may; than his invitation that you should sit; walk; eat; or drink with him。
The costive liberality of a purse…proud man insults the distresses it sometimes relieves; he takes care to make you feel your own misfortunes; and the difference between your situation and his; both which he insinuates to be justly merited: yours; by your folly; his; by his wisdom。 The arrogant pedant does not communicate; but promulgates his knowledge。 He does not give it you; but he inflicts it upon you; and is (if possible) more desirous to show you your own ignorance than his own learning。 Such manners as these; not only in the particular instances which I have mentioned; but likewise in all others; shock and revolt that little pride and vanity which every man has in his heart; and obliterate in us the obligation for the favor conferred; by reminding us of the motive which produced; and the manner which accompanied it。
These faults point out their opposite perfections; and your own good sense will naturally suggest them to you。
But besides these lesser virtues; there are what may be called the lesser talents; or accomplishments; which are of great use to adorn and recommend all the greater; and the more so; as all people are judges of the one; and but few are of the other。 Everybody feels the impression; which an engaging address; an agreeable manner of speaking; and an easy politeness; makes upon them; and they prepare the way for the favorable reception of their betters。 Adieu。
LETTER XCIX
LONDON; December 26; O。 S。 1749。
MY DEAR FRIEND: The new year is the season in which custom seems more particularly to authorize civil and harmless lies; under the name of compliments。 People reciprocally profess wishes which they seldom form; and concern; which they seldom feel。 This is not the case between you and me; where truth leaves no room for compliments。
'Dii tibi dent annos; de to nam caetera sumes'; was said formerly to one by a man who certainly did not think it。 With the variation of one word only; I will with great truth say it to you。 I will make the first part conditional by changing; in the second; the 'nam' into 'si'。 May you live as long as you are fit to live; but no longer! or may you rather die before you cease to be fit to live; than after! My true tenderness for you makes me think more of the manner than of the length of your life; and forbids me to wish it prolonged; by a single day; that should bring guilt; reproach; and shame upon you。 I have not malice enough in my nature; to wish that to my greatest enemy。 You are the principal object of all my cares; the only object of all my hopes; I have now reason to believe; that you will reward the former; and answer the latter; in that case; may you live long; for you must live happy; 'de te nam caetera sumes'。 Conscious virtue is the only solid foundation of all happiness; for riches; power; rank; or whatever; in the common acceptation of the word; is supposed to constitute happiness; will never quiet; much less cure; the inward pangs of guilt。 To that main wish; I will add those of the good old nurse of Horace; in his epistle to Tibullus: 'Sapere'; you have it in a good degree already。 'Et fari ut possit quae sentiat'。 Have you that? More; much more is meant by it; than common speech or mere articulation。 I fear that still remains to be wished for; and I earnestly wish it to you。 'Gratia and Fama' will inevitably accompany the above…mentioned qualifications。 The 'Valetudo' is the only one that is not in your own power; Heaven alone can grant it you; and may it do so abundantly! As for the 'mundus victus; non deficiente crumena'; do you deserve; and I will provide them。
It is with the greatest pleasure that I consider the fair prospect which you have before you。 You have seen; read; and learned more; at your age; than most young fellows have done at two or three…and…twenty。 Your destination is a shining one; and leads to rank; fortune; and distinction。 Your education has been calculated for it; and; to do you justice; that education has not been thrown away upon you。 You want but two things; which do not want conjuration; but only care; to acquire: eloquence and manners; that is; the graces of speech; and the graces of behavior。 You may have them; they are as much in your power as powdering your hair is; and will you let the want of them obscure (as it certainly will do) that shining prospect which presents itself to you。 I am sure you will not。 They are the sharp end; the point of the nail that you are driving; which must make way first for the larger and more solid parts to enter。 Supposing your moral character as pure; and your knowledge as sound; as I really believe them both to be; you want nothing for that perfection; which I have so constantly wished you; and taken so much pains to give you; but eloquence and politeness。 A man who is not born with a poetical genius; can never be a poet; or at best an extremely bad one; but every man; who can speak at all; can speak eleg