letters to his son, 1749-第24章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


and　actively　well…bred；　but　of　shining　and　distinguishing　yourself　by　your　good…breeding。　　Consider　your　own　situation　in　every　particular；　and　judge　whether　it　is　not　essentially　your　interest；　by　your　own　good…breeding　to　others；　to　secure　theirs　to　you　and　that；　let　me　assure　you；　is　the　only　way　of　doing　it；　for　people　will　repay；　and　with　interest　too；　inattention　with　inattention；　neglect　with　neglect；　and　ill　manners　with　worse：　which　may　engage　you　in　very　disagreeable　affairs。　　In　the　next　place；　your　profession　requires；　more　than　any　other；　the　nicest　and　most　distinguished　good…breeding。　　You　will　negotiate　with　very　little　success；　if　you　do　not　previously；　by　your　manners；　conciliate　and　engage　the　affections　of　those　with　whom　you　are　to　negotiate。　　Can　you　ever　get　into　the　confidence　and　the　secrets　of　the　courts　where　you　may　happen　to　reside；　if　you　have　not　those　pleasing；　insinuating　manners；　which　alone　can　procure　them？　　Upon　my　word；　I　do　not　say　too　much；　when　I　say　that　superior　good…breeding；　insinuating　manners；　and　genteel　address；　are　half　your　business。　　Your　knowledge　will　have　but　very　little　influence　upon　the　mind；　if　your　manners　prejudice　the　heart　against　you；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　how　easily　will　you　DUPE　the　understanding；　where　you　have　first　engaged　the　heart？　　and　hearts　are　by　no　means　to　be　gained　by　that　mere　common　civility　which　everybody　practices。　　Bowing　again　to　those　who　bow　to　you；　answering　dryly　those　who　speak　to　you；　and　saying　nothing　offensive　to　anybody；　is　such　negative　good…breeding　that　it　is　only　not　being　a　brute；　as　it　would　be　but　a　very　poor　commendation　of　any　man's　cleanliness　to　say　that　he　did　not　stink。　　It　is　an　active；　cheerful；　officious；　seducing；　good…breeding　that　must　gain　you　the　good…will　and　first　sentiments　of　men；　and　the　affections　of　the　women。　　You　must　carefully　watch　and　attend　to　their　passions；　their　tastes；　their　little　humors　and　weaknesses；　and　'aller　au　devant'。　　You　must　do　it　at　the　same　time　with　alacrity　and　'empressement'；　and　not　as　if　you　graciously　condescended　to　humor　their　weaknesses。

For　instance；　suppose　you　invited　anybody　to　dine　or　sup　with　you；　you　ought　to　recollect　if　you　had　observed　that　they　had　any　favorite　dish；　and　take　care　to　provide　it　for　them；　and　when　it　came　you　should　say；　You　SEEMED　TO　ME；　AT　SUCH　AND　SUCH　A　PLACE；　TO　GIVE　THIS　DISH　A　PREFERENCE；　AND　THEREFORE　I　ORDERED　IT；　THIS　IS　THE　WINE　THAT　I　OBSERVED　YOU　LIKED；　AND　THEREFORE　I　PROCURED　SOME。　　The　more　trifling　these　things　are；　the　more　they　prove　your　attention　for　the　person；　and　are　consequently　the　more　engaging。　　Consult　your　own　breast；　and　recollect　how　these　little　attentions；　when　shown　you　by　others；　flatter　that　degree　of　self…love　and　vanity　from　which　no　man　living　is　free。　　Reflect　how　they　incline　and　attract　you　to　that　person；　and　how　you　are　propitiated　afterward　to　all　which　that　person　says　or　does。　　The　same　causes　will　have　the　same　effects　in　your　favor。　　Women；　in　a　great　degree；　establish　or　destroy　every　man's　reputation　of　good…breeding；　you　must；　therefore；　in　a　manner；　overwhelm　them　with　these　attentions：　they　are　used　to　them；　they　expect　them；　and；　to　do　them　justice；　they　commonly　requite　them。　　You　must　be　sedulous；　and　rather　over　officious　than　under；　in　procuring　them　their　coaches；　their　chairs；　their　conveniences　in　public　places：　not　see　what　you　should　not　see；　and　rather　assist；　where　you　cannot　help　seeing。　　Opportunities　of　showing　these　attentions　present　themselves　perpetually；　but　if　they　do　not；　make　them。　　As　Ovid　advises　his　lover；　when　he　sits　in　the　Circus　near　his　mistress；　to　wipe　the　dust　off　her　neck；　even　if　there　be　none：　'Si　nullus；　tamen　excute　nullum'。　　Your　conversation　with　women　should　always　be　respectful；　but；　at　the　same　time；　enjoue；　and　always　addressed　to　their　vanity。　　Everything　you　say　or　do　should　convince　them　of　the　regard　you　have　（whether　you　have　it　or　not）　for　their　beauty；　their　wit；　or　their　merit。　　Men　have　possibly　as　much　vanity　as　women；　though　of　another　kind；　and　both　art　and　good…breeding　require；　that；　instead　of　mortifying；　you　should　please　and　flatter　it；　by　words　and　looks　of　approbation。　　Suppose　（which　is　by　no　means　improbable）　that；　at　your　return　to　England；　I　should　place　you　near　the　person　of　some　one　of　the　royal　family；　in　that　situation；　good…breeding；　engaging　address；　adorned　with　all　the　graces　that　dwell　at　courts；　would　very　probably　make　you　a　favorite；　and；　from　a　favorite；　a　minister；　but　all　the　knowledge　and　learning　in　the　world；　without　them；　never　would。　　The　penetration　of　princes　seldom　goes　deeper　than　the　surface。

It　is　the　exterior　that　always　engages　their　hearts；　and　I　would　never　advise　you　to　give　yourself　much　trouble　about　their　understanding。　Princes　in　general　（I　mean　those　'Porphyrogenets'　who　are　born　and　bred　in　purple）　are　about　the　pitch　of　women；　bred　up　like　them；　and　are　to　be　addressed　and　gained　in　the　same　manner。　　They　always　see；　they　seldom　weigh。　　Your　lustre；　not　your　solidity；　must　take　them；　your　inside　will　afterward　support　and　secure　what　your　outside　has　acquired。　　With　weak　people　（and　they　undoubtedly　are　three　parts　in　four　of　mankind）　good…　breeding；　address；　and　manners　are　everything；　they　can　go　no　deeper；　but　let　me　assure　you　that　they　are　a　great　deal　even　with　people　of　the　best　understandings。　　Where　the　eyes　are　not　pleased；　and　the　heart　is　not　flattered；　the　mind　will　be　apt　to　stand　out。　　Be　this　right　or　wrong；　I　confess　I　am　so　made　myself。　　Awkwardness　and　ill…breeding　shock　me　to　that　degree；　that　where　I　meet　with　them；　I　cannot　find　in　my　heart　to　inquire　into　the　intrinsic　merit　of　that　personI　hastily　decide　in　myself　that　he　can　have　none；　and　am　not　sure　that　I　should　not　even　be　sorry　to　know　that　he　had　any。　　I　often　paint　you　in　my　imagination；　in　your　present　'lontananza'；　and；　while　I　view　you　in　the　light　of　ancient　and　modern　learning；　useful　and　ornamental　knowledge；　I　am　charmed　with　the　prospect；　but　when　I　view　you　in　another　light；　and　represent　you　awkward；　ungraceful；　ill…bred；　with　vulgar　air　and　manners；　shambling　toward　me　with　inattention　and　DISTRACTIONS；　I　shall　not　pretend　to　describe　to　you　what　I　feel；　but　will　do　as　a　skillful　painter　did　formerlydraw　a　veil　before　the　countenance　of　the　father。

I　dare　say　you　know　already　enough　of　architecture；　to　know　that　the　Tuscan　is　the　strongest　and　most　solid　of　all　the　orders；　but　at　the　same　time；　it　is　the　coarsest　and　clumsiest　of　them。　　Its　solidity　does　extremely　well　for　the　foundation　and　base　floor　of　a　great　edifice；　but　if　the　whole　building　be　Tuscan；　it　will　attract　no　eyes；　it　will　stop　no　passengers；　it　will　invite　no　interior　examination；　people　will　take　it　for　granted　that　the　finishing　and　furnishing　cannot　be　worth　seeing；　where　the　front　is　so　unadorned　and　clumsy。　　But　if；　upon　the　solid　Tuscan　foundation；　the　Doric；　the　Ionic；　and　the　Corinthian　orders　rise　gradually　with　all　their　beauty；　proportions；　and　ornaments；　the　fabric　seizes　the　most　incurious　eye；　and　stops　the　most　careless　passenger；　who　solicits　admission　as　a　favor；　nay；　often　purchases　it。　　Just　so　will　it　fare　with　your；　tittle　fabric；　which；　at　present；　I　fear；　has　more　of　the　Tuscan　than　of　the　Corinthian　order。　　You　must　absolutely　change　the　whole　front；　or　nobody　will　knock　at　the　door。　　The　several　parts；　which　must　compose　this　new　front；　are　elegant；　easy；　natural；　superior　good…　breeding；　an　engaging　address；　genteel　motions；　an　insinuating　softness　in　your　looks；　words；　and　actions；　a　spruce；　lively　air；　fashionable　dress；　and　all　the　glitter　that　a　young　fellow　should　have。

I　am　sure　you　would　do　a　great　deal　for　my　sake；　and　therefore　consider　at　your　return　here；　what　a　disappointment　and　concern　it　would　be　to　me；　if　I　could　not　safely　depute　you　to　do　the　honors　of　my　house　and　table；　and　if　I　should　be　ashamed　to　present　you　to　those　who　frequent　both。　Should　you　be　awkward；　inattentive；　and　distrait；　and　happen　to　meet　Mr。　L…　at　my　table；　the　consequences　of　that　meeting　must　be　fatal；　you　would　run　your　heads　against　each　other；　cut　each　other's　fingers；　instead　of　your　meat；　or　die　by　th