letters to his son, 1749-第17章
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in Monmouth street; upon tenter…hooks! whereas; I expect; nay; require; to see you present yourself with the easy and genteel air of a man of fashion; who has kept good company。 I expect you not only well dressed but very well dressed; I expect a gracefulness in all your motions; and something particularly engaging in your address; All this I expect; and all this it is in your power; by care and attention; to make me find; but to tell you the plain truth; if I do not find it; we shall not converse very much together; for I cannot stand inattention and awkwardness; it would endanger my health。 You have often seen; and I have as often made you observe L's distinguished inattention and awkwardness。 Wrapped up; like a Laputan; in intense thought; and possibly sometimes in no thought at all (which; I believe; is very often the case with absent people); he does not know his most intimate acquaintance by sight; or answers them as if he were at cross purposes。 He leaves his hat in one room; his sword in another; and would leave his shoes in a third; if his buckles; though awry; did not save them: his legs and arms; by his awkward management of them; seem to have undergone the question extraordinaire; and his head; always hanging upon one or other of his shoulders; seems to have received the first stroke upon a block。 I sincerely value and esteem him for his parts; learning; and virtue; but; for the soul of me; I cannot love him in company。 This will be universally the case; in common life; of every inattentive; awkward man; let his real merit and knowledge be ever so great。 When I was of your age; I desired to shine; as far as I was able; in every part of life; and was as attentive to my manners; my dress; and my air; in company of evenings; as to my books and my tutor in the mornings。 A young fellow should be ambitious to shine in everythingand; of the two; always rather overdo than underdo。 These things are by no means trifles: they are of infinite consequence to those who are to be thrown into the great world; and who would make a figure or a fortune in it。 It is not sufficient to deserve well; one must please well too。 Awkward; disagreeable merit will never carry anybody far。 Wherever you find a good dancing…master; pray let him put you upon your haunches; not so much for the sake of dancing; as for coming into a room; and presenting yourself genteelly and gracefully。 Women; whom you ought to endeavor to please; cannot forgive vulgar and awkward air and gestures; 'il leur faut du brillant'。 The generality of men are pretty like them; and are equally taken by the same exterior graces。
I am very glad that you have received the diamond buckles safe; all I desire in return for them is; that they may be buckled even upon your feet; and that your stockings may not hide them。 I should be sorry that you were an egregious fop; but; I protest; that of the two; I would rather have you a fop than a sloven。 I think negligence in my own dress; even at my age; when certainly I expect no advantages from my dress; would be indecent with regard to others。 I have done with fine clothes; but I will have my plain clothes fit me; and made like other people's: In the evenings; I recommend to you the company of women of fashion; who have a right to attention and will be paid it。 Their company will smooth your manners; and give you a habit of attention and respect; of which you will find the advantage among men。
My plan for you; from the beginning; has been to make you shine equally in the learned and in the polite world; the former part is almost completed to my wishes; and will; I am persuaded; in a little time more; be quite so。 The latter part is still in your power to complete; and I flatter myself that you will do it; or else the former part will avail you very little; especially in your department; where the exterior address and graces do half the business; they must be the harbingers of your merit; or your merit will be very coldly received; all can; and do judge of the former; few of the latter。
Mr。 Harte tells me that you have grown very much since your illness; if you get up to five feet ten; or even nine inches; your figure will probably be a good one; and if well dressed and genteel; will probably please; which is a much greater advantage to a man than people commonly think。 Lord Bacon calls it a letter of recommendation。
I would wish you to be the omnis homo; 'l'homme universel'。 You are nearer it; if you please; than ever anybody was at your age; and if you will but; for the course of this next year only; exert your whole attention to your studies in the morning; and to your address; manners; air and tournure in the evenings; you will be the man I wish you; and the man that is rarely seen。
Our letters go; at best; so irregularly; and so often miscarry totally; that for greater security I repeat the same things。 So; though I acknowledged by last post Mr。 Harte's letter of the 8th September; N。 S。; I acknowledge it again by this to you。 If this should find you still at Verona; let it inform you that I wish you would set out soon for Naples; unless Mr。 Harte should think it better for you to stay at Verona; or any other place on this side Rome; till you go there for the Jubilee。 Nay; if he likes it better; I am very willing that you should go directly from Verona to Rome; for you cannot have too much of Rome; whether upon account of the language; the curiosities; or the company。 My only reason for mentioning Naples; is for the sake of the climate; upon account of your health; but if Mr。 Harte thinks that your health is now so well restored as to be above climate; he may steer your course wherever he thinks proper: and; for aught I know; your going directly to Rome; and consequently staying there so much the longer; may be as well as anything else。 I think you and I cannot put our affairs in better hands than in Mr。 Harte's; and I will stake his infallibility against the Pope's; with some odds on his side。 Apropos of the Pope: remember to be presented to him before you leave Rome; and go through the necessary ceremonies for it; whether of kissing his slipper or his b…h; for I would never deprive myself of anything that I wanted to do or see; by refusing to comply with an established custom。 When I was in Catholic countries; I never declined kneeling in their churches at the elevation; nor elsewhere; when the Host went by。 It is a complaisance due to the custom of the place; and by no means; as some silly people have imagined; an implied approbation of their doctrine。 Bodily attitudes and situations are things so very indifferent in themselves; that I would quarrel with nobody about them。 It may; indeed; be improper for Mr。 Harte to pay that tribute of complaisance; upon account of his character。
This letter is a very long; and possibly a very tedious one; but my anxiety for your perfection is so great; and particularly at this critical and decisive period of your life; that I am only afraid of omitting; but never of repeating; or dwelling too long upon anything that I think may be of the least use to you。 Have the same anxiety for yourself; that I have for you; and all will do well。 Adieu! my dear child。
LETTER LXXXIII
LONDON; September 27; O。 S。 1749。
DEAR BOY: A vulgar; ordinary way of thinking; acting; or speaking; implies a low education; and a habit of low company。 Young people contract it at school; or among servants; with whom they are too often used to converse; but after they frequent good company; they must want attention and observation very much; if they do not lay it quite aside; and; indeed; if they do not; good company will be very apt to lay them aside。 The various kinds of vulgarisms are infinite; I cannot pretend to point them out to you; but I will give some samples; by which you may guess at the rest。
A vulgar man is captious and jealous; eager and impetuous about trifles。 He suspects himself to be slighted; thinks everything that is said meant at him: if the company happens to laugh; he is persuaded they laugh at him; he grows angry and testy; says something very impertinent; and draws himself into a scrape; by showing what he calls a proper spirit; and assert