letters to his son, 1749-第17章
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in Monmouth street； upon tenter…hooks！ whereas； I expect； nay； require； to see you present yourself with the easy and genteel air of a man of fashion； who has kept good company。 I expect you not only well dressed but very well dressed； I expect a gracefulness in all your motions； and something particularly engaging in your address； All this I expect； and all this it is in your power； by care and attention； to make me find； but to tell you the plain truth； if I do not find it； we shall not converse very much together； for I cannot stand inattention and awkwardness； it would endanger my health。 You have often seen； and I have as often made you observe L's distinguished inattention and awkwardness。 Wrapped up； like a Laputan； in intense thought； and possibly sometimes in no thought at all （which； I believe； is very often the case with absent people）； he does not know his most intimate acquaintance by sight； or answers them as if he were at cross purposes。 He leaves his hat in one room； his sword in another； and would leave his shoes in a third； if his buckles； though awry； did not save them： his legs and arms； by his awkward management of them； seem to have undergone the question extraordinaire； and his head； always hanging upon one or other of his shoulders； seems to have received the first stroke upon a block。 I sincerely value and esteem him for his parts； learning； and virtue； but； for the soul of me； I cannot love him in company。 This will be universally the case； in common life； of every inattentive； awkward man； let his real merit and knowledge be ever so great。 When I was of your age； I desired to shine； as far as I was able； in every part of life； and was as attentive to my manners； my dress； and my air； in company of evenings； as to my books and my tutor in the mornings。 A young fellow should be ambitious to shine in everythingand； of the two； always rather overdo than underdo。 These things are by no means trifles： they are of infinite consequence to those who are to be thrown into the great world； and who would make a figure or a fortune in it。 It is not sufficient to deserve well； one must please well too。 Awkward； disagreeable merit will never carry anybody far。 Wherever you find a good dancing…master； pray let him put you upon your haunches； not so much for the sake of dancing； as for coming into a room； and presenting yourself genteelly and gracefully。 Women； whom you ought to endeavor to please； cannot forgive vulgar and awkward air and gestures； 'il leur faut du brillant'。 The generality of men are pretty like them； and are equally taken by the same exterior graces。
I am very glad that you have received the diamond buckles safe； all I desire in return for them is； that they may be buckled even upon your feet； and that your stockings may not hide them。 I should be sorry that you were an egregious fop； but； I protest； that of the two； I would rather have you a fop than a sloven。 I think negligence in my own dress； even at my age； when certainly I expect no advantages from my dress； would be indecent with regard to others。 I have done with fine clothes； but I will have my plain clothes fit me； and made like other people's： In the evenings； I recommend to you the company of women of fashion； who have a right to attention and will be paid it。 Their company will smooth your manners； and give you a habit of attention and respect； of which you will find the advantage among men。
My plan for you； from the beginning； has been to make you shine equally in the learned and in the polite world； the former part is almost completed to my wishes； and will； I am persuaded； in a little time more； be quite so。 The latter part is still in your power to complete； and I flatter myself that you will do it； or else the former part will avail you very little； especially in your department； where the exterior address and graces do half the business； they must be the harbingers of your merit； or your merit will be very coldly received； all can； and do judge of the former； few of the latter。
Mr。 Harte tells me that you have grown very much since your illness； if you get up to five feet ten； or even nine inches； your figure will probably be a good one； and if well dressed and genteel； will probably please； which is a much greater advantage to a man than people commonly think。 Lord Bacon calls it a letter of recommendation。
I would wish you to be the omnis homo； 'l'homme universel'。 You are nearer it； if you please； than ever anybody was at your age； and if you will but； for the course of this next year only； exert your whole attention to your studies in the morning； and to your address； manners； air and tournure in the evenings； you will be the man I wish you； and the man that is rarely seen。
Our letters go； at best； so irregularly； and so often miscarry totally； that for greater security I repeat the same things。 So； though I acknowledged by last post Mr。 Harte's letter of the 8th September； N。 S。； I acknowledge it again by this to you。 If this should find you still at Verona； let it inform you that I wish you would set out soon for Naples； unless Mr。 Harte should think it better for you to stay at Verona； or any other place on this side Rome； till you go there for the Jubilee。 Nay； if he likes it better； I am very willing that you should go directly from Verona to Rome； for you cannot have too much of Rome； whether upon account of the language； the curiosities； or the company。 My only reason for mentioning Naples； is for the sake of the climate； upon account of your health； but if Mr。 Harte thinks that your health is now so well restored as to be above climate； he may steer your course wherever he thinks proper： and； for aught I know； your going directly to Rome； and consequently staying there so much the longer； may be as well as anything else。 I think you and I cannot put our affairs in better hands than in Mr。 Harte's； and I will stake his infallibility against the Pope's； with some odds on his side。 Apropos of the Pope： remember to be presented to him before you leave Rome； and go through the necessary ceremonies for it； whether of kissing his slipper or his b…h； for I would never deprive myself of anything that I wanted to do or see； by refusing to comply with an established custom。 When I was in Catholic countries； I never declined kneeling in their churches at the elevation； nor elsewhere； when the Host went by。 It is a complaisance due to the custom of the place； and by no means； as some silly people have imagined； an implied approbation of their doctrine。 Bodily attitudes and situations are things so very indifferent in themselves； that I would quarrel with nobody about them。 It may； indeed； be improper for Mr。 Harte to pay that tribute of complaisance； upon account of his character。
This letter is a very long； and possibly a very tedious one； but my anxiety for your perfection is so great； and particularly at this critical and decisive period of your life； that I am only afraid of omitting； but never of repeating； or dwelling too long upon anything that I think may be of the least use to you。 Have the same anxiety for yourself； that I have for you； and all will do well。 Adieu！ my dear child。
LETTER LXXXIII
LONDON； September 27； O。 S。 1749。
DEAR BOY： A vulgar； ordinary way of thinking； acting； or speaking； implies a low education； and a habit of low company。 Young people contract it at school； or among servants； with whom they are too often used to converse； but after they frequent good company； they must want attention and observation very much； if they do not lay it quite aside； and； indeed； if they do not； good company will be very apt to lay them aside。 The various kinds of vulgarisms are infinite； I cannot pretend to point them out to you； but I will give some samples； by which you may guess at the rest。
A vulgar man is captious and jealous； eager and impetuous about trifles。 He suspects himself to be slighted； thinks everything that is said meant at him： if the company happens to laugh； he is persuaded they laugh at him； he grows angry and testy； says something very impertinent； and draws himself into a scrape； by showing what he calls a proper spirit； and assert
