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第41章

a hero of our time-第41章

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〃Nay; I am sure of it;〃 she continued; 〃al… though your behaviour is somewhat equivocal; but you may have reasons which I do not know; and you must now confide them to me。  You have protected my daughter from slander; you have fought a duel on her behalf  consequently you have risked your life。 。 。  Do not answer。  I know that you will not acknowledge it because Grushnitski has been killed〃  she crossed herself。 〃God forgive him  and you too; I hope。 。 。 That does not concern me。 。 。  I dare not con… demn you because my daughter; although inno… cently; has been the cause。  She has told me everything 。 。 。 everything; I think。  You have declared your love for her。 。 。  She has admitted hers to you。〃  Here Princess Ligovski sighed heavily。  〃But she is ill; and I am certain that it is no simple illness!  Secret grief is killing her; she will not confess; but I am convinced that you are the cause of it。 。 。  Listen: you think; per… haps; that I am looking for rank or immense wealth  be undeceived; my daughter's happiness is my sole desire。  Your present position is un… enviable; but it may be bettered: you have means; my daughter loves you; she has been brought up in such a way that she will make her husband a happy man。  I am wealthy; she is my only child。 。 。  Tell me; what is keeping you back? 。 。 。  You see; I ought not to be saying all this to you; but I rely upon your heart; upon your honour  remember she is my only daughter 。 。 。 my only one〃 。 。 。

She burst into tears。

〃Princess;〃 I said; 〃it is impossible for me to answer you; allow me to speak to your daughter; alone〃 。 。 。

〃Never!〃 she exclaimed; rising from her chair in violent agitation。

〃As you wish;〃 I answered; preparing to go away。

She fell into thought; made a sign to me with her hand that I should wait a little; and left the room。

Five minutes passed。  My heart was beating violently; but my thoughts were tranquil; my head cool。  However assiduously I sought in my breast for even a spark of love for the charming Mary; my efforts were of no avail!

Then the door opened; and she entered。 Heavens!  How she had changed since I had last seen her  and that but a short time ago!

When she reached the middle of the room; she staggered。  I jumped up; gave her my arm; and led her to a chair。

I stood facing her。  We remained silent for a long time; her large eyes; full of unutterable grief; seemed to be searching in mine for some… thing resembling hope; her wan lips vainly en… deavoured to smile; her tender hands; which were folded upon her knees; were so thin and transparent that I pitied her。

〃Princess;〃 I said; 〃you know that I have been making fun of you? 。 。 。  You must despise me。〃

A sickly flush suffused her cheeks。

〃Consequently;〃 I continued; 〃you cannot love me〃 。 。 。

She turned her head away; leaned her elbows on the table; covered her eyes with her hand; and it seemed to me that she was on the point of tears。

〃Oh; God!〃 she said; almost inaudibly。

The situation was growing intolerable。  Another minute  and I should have fallen at her feet。

〃So you see; yourself;〃 I said in as firm a voice as I could command; and with a forced smile; 〃you see; yourself; that I cannot marry you。 Even if you wished it now; you would soon repent。 My conversation with your mother has compelled me to explain myself to you so frankly and so brutally。  I hope that she is under a delusion: it will be easy for you to undeceive her。  You see; I am playing a most pitiful and ugly role in your eyes; and I even admit it  that is the utmost I can do for your sake。  However bad an opinion you may entertain of me; I submit to it。 。 。  You see that I am base in your sight; am I not? 。 。 。 Is it not true that; even if you have loved me; you would despise me from this moment?〃 。 。 。

She turned round to me。  She was pale as marble; but her eyes were sparkling wondrously。

〃I hate you〃 。 。 。 she said。

I thanked her; bowed respectfully; and left the room。

An hour afterwards a postal express was bearing me rapidly from Kislovodsk。  A few versts from Essentuki I recognized near the roadway the body of my spirited horse。  The saddle had been taken off; no doubt by a passing Cossack; and; in its place; two ravens were sitting on the horse's back。 I sighed and turned away。 。 。

And now; here in this wearisome fortress; I often ask myself; as my thoughts wander back to the past: why did I not wish to tread that way; thrown open by destiny; where soft joys and ease of soul were awaiting me? 。 。 。  No; I could never have become habituated to such a fate! I am like a sailor born and bred on the deck of a pirate brig: his soul has grown accustomed to storms and battles; but; once let him be case upon the shore; and he chafes; he pines away; however invitingly the shady groves allure; how… ever brightly shines the peaceful sun。  The live… long day he paces the sandy shore; hearkens to the monotonous murmur of the onrushing waves; and gazes into the misty distance: lo! yonder; upon the pale line dividing the blue deep from the grey clouds; is there not glancing the longed…for sail; at first like the wing of a seagull; but little by little severing itself from the foam of the billows and; with even course; drawing nigh to the desert harbour?


APPENDIX

PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION

(By the Author)

THE preface to a book serves the double purpose of prologue and epilogue。  It affords the author an opportunity of explaining the object of the work; or of vindicating himself and replying to his critics。  As a rule; however; the reader is concerned neither with the moral purpose of the book nor with the attacks of the Reviewers; and so the preface remains unread。 Nevertheless; this is a pity; especially with us Russians!  The public of this country is so youth… ful; not to say simple…minded; that it cannot understand the meaning of a fable unless the moral is set forth at the end。  Unable to see a joke; insensible to irony; it has; in a word; been badly brought up。  It has not yet learned that in a decent book; as in decent society; open invective can have no place; that our present…day civilisa… tion has invented a keener weapon; none the less deadly for being almost invisible; which; under the cloak of flattery; strikes with sure and irre… sistible effect。  The Russian public is like a simple…minded person from the country who; chancing to overhear a conversation between two diplomatists belonging to hostile courts; comes away with the conviction that each of them has been deceiving his Government in the interest of a most affectionate private friendship。

The unfortunate effects of an over…literal accep… tation of words by certain readers and even Re… viewers have recently been manifested in regard to the present book。  Many of its readers have been dreadfully; and in all seriousness; shocked to find such an immoral man as Pechorin set before them as an example。  Others have observed; with much acumen; that the author has painted his own portrait and those of his acquaint… ances! 。 。 。  What a stale and wretched jest! But Russia; it appears; has been constituted in such a way that absurdities of this kind will never be eradicated。  It is doubtful whether; in this country; the most ethereal of fairy…tales would escape the reproach of attempting offen… sive personalities。

Pechorin; gentlemen; is in fact a portrait; but not of one man only: he is a composite portrait; made up of all the vices which flourish; full… grown; amongst the present generation。  You will tell me; as you have told me before; that no man can be so bad as this; and my reply will be: 〃If you believe that such persons as the villains of tragedy and romance could exist in real life; why can you not believe in the reality of Pechorin?  If you admire fic… tions much more terrible and monstrous; why is it that this character; even if regarded merely as a creature of the imagination; cannot obtain quarter at your hands?  Is it not because there is more truth in it than may be altogether palat… able to you?〃

You will say that the cause of morality gains nothing by this book。  I beg your pardon。  People have been surfeited with sweetmeats and their digestion has been ruined: bitter me

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