my discovery of england-第8章

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ould　lose　if　they　really　tried；　on　whether　the　Grain　Growers　of　Manitoba　should　be　allowed　to　import　ploughs　without　paying　a　duty　or　to　pay　a　duty　without　importing　the　ploughs。　Our　members　at　Ottawa　discuss　such　things　as　highway　subsidies；　dry　farming；　the　Bank　Act；　and　the　tariff　on　hardware。　These　things　leave　me　absolutely　cold。　To　be　quite　candid　there　is　something　terribly　plebeian　about　them。　In　short；　our　politics　are　what　we　call　in　French　〃peuple。〃

But　when　one　turns　to　England；　what　a　striking　difference！　The　English；　with　the　whole　huge　British　Empire　to　fish　in　and　the　European　system　to　draw　upon；　can　always　dig　up　some　kind　of　political　topic　of　discussion　that　has　a　real　charm　about　it。　One　month　you　find　English　politics　turning　on　the　Oasis　of　Merv　and　the　next　on　the　hinterland　of　Albania；　or　a　member　rises　in　the　Commons　with　a　little　bit　of　paper　in　his　hand　and　desires　to　ask　the　foreign　secretary　if　he　is　aware　that　the　Ahkoond　of　Swat　is　dead。　The　foreign　secretary　states　that　the　government　have　no　information　other　than　that　the　Ahkoond　was　dead　a　month　ago。　There　is　a　distinct　sensation　in　the　House　at　the　realisation　that　the　Ahkoond　has　been　dead　a　month　without　the　House　having　known　that　he　was　alive。　The　sensation　is　conveyed　to　the　Press　and　the　afternoon　papers　appear　with　large　headings；　THE　AHKOOND　OF　SWAT　IS　DEAD。　The　public　who　have　never　heard　of　the　Ahkoond　bare　their　heads　in　a　moment　in　a　pause　to　pray　for　the　Ahkoond's　soul。　Then　the　cables　take　up　the　refrain　and　word　is　flashed　all　over　the　world；　The　Ahkoond　of　Swat　is　Dead。

There　was　a　Canadian　journalist　and　poet　once　who　was　so　impressed　with　the　news　that　the　Ahkoond　was　dead；　so　bowed　down　with　regret　that　he　had　never　known　the　Ahkoond　while　alive；　that　he　forthwith　wrote　a　poem　in　memory　of　The　Ahkoond　of　Swat。　I　have　always　thought　that　the　reason　of　the　wide　admiration　that　Lannigan's　verses　received　was　not　merely　because　of　the　brilliant　wit　that　is　in　them　but　because　in　a　wider　sense　they　typify　so　beautifully　the　scope　of　English　politics。　The　death　of　the　Ahkoond　of　Swat；　and　whether　Great　Britain　should　support　as　his　successor　Mustalpha　El　Djin　or　Kamu　Flaj；there　is　something　worth　talking　of　over　an　afternoon　tea　table。　But　suppose　that　the　whole　of　the　Manitoba　Grain　Growers　were　to　die。　What　could　one　say　about　it？　They'd　be　dead；　that's　all。

So　it　is　that　people　all　over　the　world　turn　to　English　politics　with　interest。　What　more　delightful　than　to　open　an　atlas；　find　out　where　the　new　kingdom　of　Hejaz　is；　and　then　violently　support　the　British　claim　to　a　protectorate　over　it。　Over　in　America　we　don't　understand　this　sort　of　thing。　There　is　naturally　little　chance　to　do　so　and　we　don't　know　how　to　use　it　when　it　comes。　I　remember　that　when　a　chance　did　come　in　connection　with　the　great　Venezuela　dispute　over　the　ownership　of　the　jungles　and　mud…flats　of　British　Guiana；　the　American　papers　at　once　inserted　headings；　WHERE　IS　THE　ESSIQUIBO　RIVER？　That　spoiled　the　whole　thing。　If　you　admit　that　you　don't　know　where　a　place　is；　then　the　bottom　is　knocked　out　of　all　discussion。　But　if　you　pretend　that　you　do；　then　you　are　all　right。　Mr。　Lloyd　George　is　said　to　have　caused　great　amusement　at　the　Versailles　Conference　by　admitting　that　he　hadn't　known　where　Teschen　was。　So　at　least　it　was　reported　in　the　papers；　and　for　all　I　know　it　might　even　have　been　true。　But　the　fun　that　he　raised　was　not　really　half　what　could　have　been　raised。　I　have　it　on　good　authority　that　two　of　the　American　delegates　hadn't　known　where　Austria　Proper　was　and　thought　that　Unredeemed　Italy　was　on　the　East　side　of　New　York；　while　the　Chinese　Delegate　thought　that　the　Cameroons　were　part　of　Scotland。　But　it　is　these　little　geographic　niceties　that　lend　a　charm　to　European　politics　that　ours　lack　forever。

I　don't　mean　to　say　the　English　politics　always　turn　on　romantic　places　or　on　small　questions。　They　don't。　They　often　include　questions　of　the　largest　order。　But　when　the　English　introduce　a　really　large　question　as　the　basis　of　their　politics　they　like　to　select　one　that　is　insoluble。　This　guarantees　that　it　will　last。　Take　for　example　the　rights　of　the　Crown　as　against　the　people。　That　lasted　for　one　hundred　years；all　the　seventeenth　century。　In　Oklahoma　or　in　Alberta　they　would　have　called　a　convention　on　the　question；　settled　it　in　two　weeks　and　spoiled　it　for　further　use。　In　the　same　way　the　Protestant　Reformation　was　used　for　a　hundred　years　and　the　Reform　Bill　for　a　generation。

At　the　present　time　the　genius　of　the　English　for　politics　has　selected　as　their　insoluble　political　question　the　topic　of　the　German　indemnity。　The　essence　of　the　problem　as　I　understand　it　may　be　stated　as　follows：

It　was　definitely　settled　by　the　Conference　at　Versailles　that　Germany　is　to　pay　the　Allies　3；912；486；782；421　marks。　I　think　that　is　the　correct　figure；　though　of　course　I　am　speaking　only　from　memory。　At　any　rate；　the　correct　figure　is　within　a　hundred　billion　marks　of　the　above。

The　sum　to　be　paid　was　not　reached　without　a　great　deal　of　discussion。　Monsieur　Briand；　the　French　Minister；　is　reported　to　have　thrown　out　the　figure　4；281；390；687；471。　But　Mr。　Lloyd　George　would　not　pick　it　up。　Nor　do　I　blame　him　unless　he　had　a　basket　to　pick　it　up　with。

Lloyd　George's　point　of　view　was　that　the　Germans　could　very　properly　pay　a　limited　amount　such　as　3；912；486；782；421　marks；　but　it　was　not　feasible　to　put　on　them　a　burden　of　4；281；390；687；471　marks。

By　the　way；　if　any　one　at　this　point　doubts　the　accuracy　of　the　figures　just　given；　all　he　has　to　do　is　to　take　the　amount　of　the　indemnity　as　stated　in　gold　marks　and　then　multiply　it　by　the　present　value　of　the　mark　and　he　will　find　to　his　chagrin　that　the　figures　are　correct。　If　he　is　still　not　satisfied　I　refer　him　to　a　book　of　Logarithms。　If　he　is　not　satisfied　with　that　I　refer　him　to　any　work　on　conic　sections　and　if　not　convinced　even　then　I　refer　him　so　far　that　he　will　never　come　back。

The　indemnity　being　thus　fixed；　the　next　question　is　as　to　the　method　of　collecting　it。　In　the　first　place　there　is　no　intention　of　allowing　the　Germans　to　pay　in　actual　cash。　If　they　do　this　they　will　merely　inflate　the　English　beyond　what　is　bearable。　England　has　been　inflated　now　for　eight　years　and　has　had　enough　of　it。

In　the　second　place；　it　is　understood　that　it　will　not　do　to　allow　the　Germans　to　offer　4；218；　390；687；471　marks'　worth　of　coal。　It　is　more　than　the　country　needs。

What　is　more；　if　the　English　want　coal　they　propose　to　buy　it　in　an　ordinary　decent　way　from　a　Christian　coal…dealer　in　their　own　country。　They　do　not　purpose　to　ruin　their　own　coal　industry　for　the　sake　of　building　up　the　prosperity　of　the　German　nation。

What　I　say　of　coal　is　applied　with　equal　force　to　any　offers　of　food；　grain；　oil；　petroleum；　gas；　or　any　other　natural　product。　　Payment　in　any　of　these　will　be　sternly　refused。　Even　now　it　is　all　the　British　farmers　can　do　to　live　and　for　some　it　is　more。　　Many　of　them　are　having　to　sell　off　their　motors　and　pianos　and　to　send　their　sons　to　college　to　work。　At　the　same　time；　the　German　producer　by　depressing　the　mark　further　and　further　is　able　to　work　fourteen　hours　a　day。　This　argument　may　not　be　quite　correct　but　I　take　it　as　I　find　it　in　the　London　Press。　Whether　I　state　it　correctly　or　not；　it　is　quite　plain　that　the　problem　is　insoluble。　That　is　all　that　is　needed　in　first　class　politics。

A　really　good　question　like　the　German　reparation　question　will　go　on　for　a　century。　Undoubtedly　in　the　year　2000　A。D。；　a　British　Chancellor　of　the　Exchequer　will　still　be　explaining　that　the　government　is　fully　resolved　that　Germany　shall　pay　to　the　last　farthing　（cheers）：　but　that　ministers　have　no　intention　of　allowing　the　German　payment　to　take　a　form　that　will　undermine　British　industry　（wild　applause）：　that　the　German　indemnity　shall　be　so　paid　that　without　weakening　the　power　of　the　Germans。　to　buy　from　us　it　shall　increase　our　power　of　selling　to　them。

Such　questions　last　forever。

On　the　other　hand　sometimes　by　sheer　carelessness　a　question　gets　settled　and　passes　out　of　politics。　This；　so　we　are　given　to　understand；　has　happened　to　the　Irish　q