my discovery of england-第20章

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y　bulk　and　by　weight。　　And　a　〃brilliant　engineer〃　means　a　man　who　explains　how　to　make　homebrewed　beer　with　a　kick　in　it。　Similarly；　a　〃raconteur〃　means　a　man　who　has　a　fund　of　amusing　stories　about　〃bootleggers〃　and　an　〃interesting　traveller〃　means　a　man　who　has　been　to　Havana　and　can　explain　how　wet　it　is。　Indeed；　the　whole　conception　of　travel　and　of　interest　in　foreign　countries　is　now　altered：　as　soon　as　any　one　mentions　that　he　has　been　in　a　foreign　country；　all　the　company　ask　in　one　breath；　〃Is　it　dry？〃　The　question　〃How　is　Samoa？〃　or　〃How　is　Turkey？〃　or　〃How　is　British　Columbia？〃　no　Ionger　refers　to　the　climate　or　natural　resources：　it　means　〃Is　the　place　dry？〃　When　such　a　question　is　asked　and　the　answer　is　〃It's　wet；〃　there　is　a　deep　groan　all　around　the　table。

I　understand　that　when　the　recent　disarmament　conference　met　at　Washington　just　as　the　members　were　going　to　sit　down　at　the　table　Monsieur　Briand　said　to　President　Harding；　〃How　dry　is　the　United　States；　anyway？〃　And　the　whole　assembly　talked　about　it　for　half　an　hour。　That　was　why　the　first　newspaper　bulletins　merely　said；　〃Conference　exchanges　credentials。〃

As　a　discoverer　of　England　I　therefore　made　it　one　of　my　chief　cares　to　try　to　obtain　accurate　information　of　this　topic。　I　was　well　aware　that　immediately　on　my　return　to　Canada　the　first　question　I　would　be　asked　would　be　〃Is　England　going　dry？〃　I　realised　that　in　any　report　I　might　make　to　the　National　Geographical　Society　or　to　the　Political　Science　Association；　the　members　of　these　bodies；　being　scholars；　would　want　accurate　information　about　the　price　of　whiskey；　the　percentage　of　alcohol；　and　the　hours　of　opening　and　closing　the　saloons。

My　first　impression　on　the　subject　was；　I　must　say；　one　of　severe　moral　shock。　Landing　in　England　after　spending　the　summer　in　Ontario；　it　seemed　a　terrible　thing　to　see　people　openly　drinking　on　an　English　train。　On　an　Ontario　train；　as　everybody　knows；　there　is　no　way　of　taking　a　drink　except　by　climbing　up　on　the　roof；　lying　flat　on　one's　stomach；　and　taking　a　suck　out　of　a　flask。　But　in　England　in　any　dining　car　one　actually　sees　a　waiter　approach　a　person　dining　and　say；　〃Beer；　sir；　or　wine？〃　This　is　done　in　broad　daylight　with　no　apparent　sense　of　criminality　or　moral　shame。　Appalling　though　it　sounds；　bottled　ale　is　openly　sold　on　the　trains　at　twenty…five　cents　a　bottle　and　dry　sherry　at　eighteen　cents　a　glass。

When　I　first　saw　this　I　expected　to　see　the　waiter　arrested　on　the　spot。　I　looked　around　to　see　if　there　were　any　〃spotters；〃　detectives；　or　secret　service　men　on　the　train。　I　anticipated　that　the　train　conductor　would　appear　and　throw　the　waiter　off　the　car。　But　then　I　realised　that　I　was　in　England　and　that　in　the　British　Isles　they　still　tolerate　the　consumption　of　alcohol。　Indeed；　I　doubt　if　they　are　even　aware　that　they　are　〃consuming　alcohol。〃　Their　impression　is　that　they　are　drinking　beer。

At　the　beginning　of　my　discussion　I　will　therefore　preface　a　few　exact　facts　and　statistics　for　the　use　of　geographical　societies；　learned　bodies　and　government　commissions。　The　quantity　of　beer　consumed　in　England　in　a　given　period　is　about　200；000；000　gallons。　The　life　of　a　bottle　of　Scotch　whiskey　is　seven　seconds。　The　number　of　public　houses；　or　〃pubs；〃　in　the　English　countryside　is　one　to　every　half　mile。　The　percentage　of　the　working　classes　drinking　beer　is　125：　the　percentage　of　the　class　without　work　drinking　beer　is　200。

Statistics　like　these　do　not；　however；　give　a　final　answer　to　the　question；　〃Is　prohibition　coming　to　England？〃　They　merely　show　that　it　is　not　there　now。　The　question　itself　will　be　answered　in　as　many　different　ways　as　there　are　different　kinds　of　people。　Any　prohibitionist　will　tell　you　that　the　coming　of　prohibition　to　England　is　as　certain　as　the　coming　eclipse　of　the　sun。　But　this　is　always　so。　It　is　in　human　nature　that　people　are　impressed　by　the　cause　they　work　in。　I　once　knew　a　minister　of　the　Scotch　Church　who　took　a　voyage　round　the　world：　he　said　that　the　thing　that　impressed　him　most　was　the　growth　of　presbyterianism　in　Japan。　No　doubt　it　did。　When　the　Orillia　lacrosse　team　took　their　trip　to　Australia；　they　said　on　their　return　that　lacrosse　was　spreading　all　over　the　world。　In　the　same　way　there　is　said　to　be　a　spread　all　over　the　world　of　Christian　Science；　proportional　representation；　militarism；　peace　sentiment；　barbarism；　altruism；　psychoanalysis　and　death　from　wood　alcohol。　They　are　what　are　called　world　movements。

My　own　judgment　in　regard　to　prohibition　in　the　British　Isles　is　this：　In　Scotland；　prohibition　is　not　coming：　if　anything；　it　is　going。　In　Ireland；　prohibition　will　only　be　introduced　when　they　have　run　out　of　other　forms　of　trouble。　But　in　England　I　think　that　prohibition　could　easily　come　unless　the　English　people　realise　where　they　are　drifting　and　turn　back。　They　are　in　the　early　stage　of　the　movement　already。

Turning　first　to　Scotland；　there　is　no　fear；　I　say；　that　prohibition　will　be　adopted　there：　and　this　from　the　simple　reason　that　the　Scotch　do　not　drink。　I　have　elsewhere　alluded　to　the　extraordinary　misapprehension　that　exists　in　regard　to　the　Scotch　people　and　their　sense　of　humour。　I　find　a　similar　popular　error　in　regard　to　the　use　of　whiskey　by　the　Scotch。　Because　they　manufacture　the　best　whiskey　in　the　world；　the　Scotch；　in　popular　fancy；　are　often　thought　to　be　addicted　to　the　drinking　of　it。　　This　is　purely　a　delusion。　During　the　whole　of　two　or　three　pleasant　weeks　spent　in　lecturing　in　Scotland；　I　never　on　any　occasion　saw　whiskey　made　use　of　as　a　beverage。　I　have　seen　people　take　it；　of　course；　as　a　medicine；　or　as　a　precaution；　or　as　a　wise　offset　against　a　rather　treacherous　climate；　but　as　a　beverage；　never。

The　manner　and　circumstance　of　their　offering　whiskey　to　a　stranger　amply　illustrates　their　point　of　view　towards　it。　Thus　at　my　first　lecture　in　Glasgow　where　I　was　to　appear　before　a　large　and　fashionable　audience；　the　chairman　said　to　me　in　the　committee　room　that　he　was　afraid　that　there　might　be　a　draft　on　the　platform。　　Here　was　a　serious　matter。　For　a　lecturer　who　has　to　earn　his　living　by　his　occupation；　a　draft　on　the　platform　is　not　a　thing　to　be　disregarded。　It　might　kill　him。　Nor　is　it　altogether　safe　for　the　chairman　himself；　a　man　already　in　middle　life；　to　be　exposed　to　a　current　of　cold　air。　In　this　case；　therefore；　the　chairman　suggested　that　he　thought　it　might　be　〃prudent〃that　was　his　word；　〃prudent〃if　I　should　take　a　small　drop　of　whiskey　before　encountering　the　draft。　In　return　I　told　him　that　I　could　not　think　of　his　accompanying　me　to　the　platform　unless　he　would　let　me　insist　on　his　taking　a　very　reasonable　precaution。　Whiskey　taken　on　these　terms　not　only　seems　like　a　duty　but　it　tastes　better。

In　the　same　way　I　find　that　in　Scotland　it　is　very　often　necessary　to　take　something　to　drink　on　purely　meteorological　grounds。　The　weather　simply　cannot　be　trusted。　A　man　might　find　that　on　〃going　out　into　the　weather〃　he　is　overwhelmed　by　a　heavy　fog　or　an　avalanche　of　snow　or　a　driving　storm　of　rain。　In　such　a　case　a　mere　drop　of　whiskey　might　save　his　life。　It　would　be　folly　not　to　take　it。　Again；〃coming　in　out　of　the　weather〃　is　a　thing　not　to　be　trifled　with。　A　person　coming　in　unprepared　and　unprotected　might　be　seized　with　angina　pectoris　or　appendicitis　and　die　upon　the　spot。　No　reasonable　person　would　refuse　the　simple　precaution　of　taking　a　small　drop　immediately　after　his　entry。

I　find　that；　classified　altogether；　there　are　seventeen　reasons　advanced　in　Scotland　for　taking　whiskey。　They　run　as　follows：　Reason　one；　because　it　is　raining；　Two；　because　it　is　not　raining；　Three；　because　you　are　just　going　out　into　the　weather；　Four；　because　you　have　just　come　in　from　the　weather；　Five；　no；　I　forget　the　ones　that　come　after　that。　But　I　remember　that　reason　number　seventeen　is　〃because　it　canna　do　ye　any　harm。〃　On　the　whole；　reason　seventeen　is　the　best。

Put　in　other　words　this　means　that　the　Scotch　make　use　of　whiskey　with　dignity　and　without　shame：　and　they　never　call　it　alcohol。

In　England　the　case　is　different。　Already　the　English　are　showing　the　first　signs　that　indicate　the　possible　approach　of　prohibition。　Alr