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第9章

lizzie leigh-第9章

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rejoicing over her child。  Think of your mother。〃



〃I do think of her;〃 said he。  〃I remember the promise I gave her

last night。  Thou shouldst give me time。  I would do right in time。

I never think it o'er in quiet。  But I will do what is right and

fitting; never fear。  Thou hast spoken out very plain to me; and

misdoubted me; Susan; I love thee so; that thy words cut me。  If I

did hang back a bit from making sudden promises; it was because not

even for love of thee; would I say what I was not feeling; and at

first I could not feel all at once as thou wouldst have me。  But I'm

not cruel and hard; for if I had been; I should na' have grieved as I

have done。〃



He made as if he were going away; and indeed he did feel he would

rather think it over in quiet。  But Susan; grieved at her incautious

words; which had all the appearance of harshness; went a step or two

nearerpausedand then; all over blushes; said in a low; soft

whisper …



〃Oh; Will!  I beg your pardon。  I am very sorry。  Won't you forgive

me?〃



She who had always drawn back; and been so reserved; said this in the

very softest manner; with eyes now uplifted beseechingly; now dropped

to the ground。  Her sweet confusion told more than words could do;

and Will turned back; all joyous in his certainty of being beloved;

and took her in his arms; and kissed her。



〃My own Susan!〃 he said。



Meanwhile the mother watched her child in the room above。



It was late in the afternoon before she awoke; for the sleeping

draught had been very powerful。  The instant she awoke; her eyes were

fixed on her mother's face with a gaze as unflinching as if she were

fascinated。  Mrs。 Leigh did not turn away; nor move; for it seemed as

if motion would unlock the stony command over herself which; while so

perfectly still; she was enabled to preserve。  But by…and…by Lizzie

cried out; in a piercing voice of agony …



〃Mother; don't look at me!  I have been so wicked!〃 and instantly she

hid her face; and grovelled among the bed…clothes; and lay like one

dead; so motionless was she。



Mrs。 Leigh knelt down by the bed; and spoke in the most soothing

tones。



〃Lizzie; dear; don't speak so。  I'm thy mother; darling; don't be

afeard of me。  I never left off loving thee; Lizzie。  I was always a…

thinking of thee。  Thy father forgave thee afore he died。〃  (There

was a little start here; but no sound was heard。)  〃Lizzie; lass;

I'll do aught for thee; I'll live for thee; only don't be afeard of

me。  Whate'er thou art or hast been; we'll ne'er speak on't。  We'll

leave th' oud times behind us; and go back to the Upclose Farm。  I

but left it to find thee; my lass; and God has led me to thee。

Blessed be His name。  And God is good; too; Lizzie。  Thou hast not

forgot thy Bible; I'll be bound; for thou wert always a scholar。  I'm

no reader; but I learnt off them texts to comfort me a bit; and I've

said them many a time a day to myself。  Lizzie; lass; don't hide thy

head so; it's thy mother as is speaking to thee。  Thy little child

clung to me only yesterday; and if it's gone to be an angel; it will

speak to God for thee。  Nay; don't sob a that 'as; thou shalt have it

again in heaven; I know thou'lt strive to get there; for thy little

Nancy's sakeand listen!  I'll tell thee God's promises to them that

are penitentonly doan't be afeard。〃



Mrs。 Leigh folded her hands; and strove to speak very clearly; while

she repeated every tender and merciful text she could remember。  She

could tell from the breathing that her daughter was listening; but

she was so dizzy and sick herself when she had ended; that she could

not go on speaking。  It was all she could do to keep from crying

aloud。



At last she heard her daughter's voice。



〃Where have they taken her to?〃 she asked。



〃She is downstairs。  So quiet; and peaceful; and happy she looks。〃



〃Could she speak!  Oh; if Godif I might but have heard her little

voice!  Mother; I used to dream of it。  May I see her once again?

Oh; mother; if I strive very hard and God is very merciful; and I go

to heaven; I shall not know herI shall not know my own again:  she

will shun me as a stranger; and chug to Susan Palmer and to you。  Oh;

woe!  Oh; woe!〃  She shook with exceeding sorrow。



In her earnestness of speech she had uncovered her face; and tried to

read Mrs。 Leigh's thoughts through her looks。  And when she saw those

aged eyes brimming full of tears; and marked the quivering lips; she

threw her arms round the faithful mother's neck; and wept there; as

she had done in many a childish sorrow; but with a deeper; a more

wretched grief。



Her mother hushed her on her breast; and lulled her as if she were a

baby; and she grew still and quiet。



They sat thus for a long; long time。  At last; Susan Palmer came up

with some tea and bread and butter for Mrs。 Leigh。  She watched the

mother feed her sick; unwilling child; with every fond inducement to

eat which she could devise; they neither of them took notice of

Susan's presence。  That night they lay in each other's arms; but

Susan slept on the ground beside them。



They took the little corpse (the little unconscious sacrifice; whose

early calling…home had reclaimed her poor wandering mother) to the

hills; which in her life…time she had never seen。  They dared not lay

her by the stern grandfather in Milne Row churchyard; but they bore

her to a lone moorland graveyard; where; long ago; the Quakers used

to bury their dead。  They laid her there on the sunny slope; where

the earliest spring flowers blow。



Will and Susan live at the Upclose Farm。  Mrs。 Leigh and Lizzie dwell

in a cottage so secluded that; until you drop into the very hollow

where it is placed; you do not see it。  Tom is a schoolmaster in

Rochdale; and he and Will help to support their mother。  I only know

that; if the cottage be hidden in a green hollow of the hills; every

sound of sorrow in the whole upland is heard thereevery call of

suffering or of sickness for help is listened to by a sad; gentle…

looking woman; who rarely smiles (and when she does her smile is more

sad than other people's tears); but who comes out of her seclusion

whenever there is a shadow in any household。  Many hearts bless

Lizzie Leigh; but sheshe prays always and ever for forgiveness

such forgiveness as may enable her to see her child once more。  Mrs。

Leigh is quiet and happy。  Lizzie is; to her eyes; something

preciousas the lost piece of silverfound once more。  Susan is the

bright one who brings sunshine to all。  Children grow around her and

call her blessed。  One is called Nanny; her Lizzie often takes to the

sunny graveyard in the uplands; and while the little creature gathers

the daisies; and makes chains; Lizzie sits by a little grave and

weeps bitterly。









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