lizzie leigh-第7章
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right; and that God is on my side。 If He should lead the poor
wandering lassie to Susan's door; and she comes back; crying and
sorryful; led by that good angel to us once more; thou shalt never
say a casting…up word to her about her sin; but be tender and helpful
towards one 'who was lost and is found;' so may God's blessing rest
on thee; and so mayst thou lead Susan home as thy wife。〃
She stood no longer as the meek; imploring; gentle mother; but firm
and dignified; as if the interpreter of God's will。 Her manner was
so unusual and solemn; that it overcame all Will's pride and
stubbornness。 He rose softly while she was speaking; and bent his
head; as if in reverence at her words; and the solemn injunction
which they conveyed。 When she had spoken; he said; in so subdued a
voice that she was almost surprised at the sound; 〃Mother; I will。〃
〃I may be dead and gone; but; all the same; thou wilt take home the
wandering sinner; and heal up her sorrows; and lead her to her
Father's house。 My lad! I can speak no more; I'm turned very
faint。〃
He placed her in a chair; he ran for water。 She opened her eyes; and
smiled。
〃God bless you; Will。 Oh! I am so happy。 It seems as if she were
found; my heart is so filled with gladness。〃
That night Mr。 Palmer stayed out late and long。 Susan was afraid
that he was at his old haunts and habitsgetting tipsy at some
public…house; and this thought oppressed her; even though she had so
much to make her happy in the consciousness that Will loved her。 She
sat up long; and then she went to bed; leaving all arranged as well
as she could for her father's return。 She looked at the little rosy;
sleeping girl who was her bed…fellow; with redoubled tenderness; and
with many a prayerful thought。 The little arms entwined her neck as
she lay down; for Nanny was a light sleeper; and was conscious that
she; who was loved with all the power of that sweet; childish heart;
was near her; and by her; although she was too sleepy to utter any of
her half…formed words。
And; by…and…by; she heard her father come home; stumbling uncertain;
trying first the windows; and next the door fastenings; with many a
loud incoherent murmur。 The little innocent twined around her seemed
all the sweeter and more lovely; when she thought sadly of her erring
father。 And presently he called aloud for a light。 She had left
matches and all arranged as usual on the dresser; but; fearful of
some accident from fire; in his unusually intoxicated state; she now
got up softly; and putting on a cloak; went down to his assistance。
Alas! the little arms that were unclosed from her soft neck belonged
to a light; easily awakened sleeper。 Nanny missed her darling Susy;
and terrified at being left alone; in the vast mysterious darkness;
which had no bounds and seemed infinite; she slipped out of bed; and
tottered; in her little nightgown; towards the door。 There was a
light below; and there was Susy and safety! So she went onwards two
steps towards the steep; abrupt stairs; and then; dazzled by
sleepiness; she stood; she wavered; she fell! Down on her head on
the stone floor she fell! Susan flew to her; and spoke all soft;
entreating; loving words; but her white lids covered up the blue
violets of eyes; and there was no murmur came out of the pale lips。
The warm tears that rained down did not awaken her; she lay stiff;
and weary with her short life; on Susan's knee。 Susan went sick with
terror。 She carried her upstairs; and laid her tenderly in bed; she
dressed herself most hastily; with her trembling fingers。 Her father
was asleep on the settle downstairs; and useless; and worse than
useless; if awake。 But Susan flew out of the door; and down the
quiet resounding street; towards the nearest doctor's house。 Quickly
she went; but as quickly a shadow followed; as if impelled by some
sudden terror。 Susan rang wildly at the night…bellthe shadow
crouched near。 The doctor looked out from an upstairs window。
〃A little child has fallen downstairs; at No。 9 Crown Street; and is
very illdying; I'm afraid。 Please; for God's sake; sir; come
directly。 No。 9 Crown Street。〃
〃I'll be there directly;〃 said he; and shut the window。
〃For that God you have just spoken aboutfor His saketell me; are
you Susan Palmer? Is it my child that lies a…dying?〃 said the
shadow; springing forwards; and clutching poor Susan's arm。
〃It is a little child of two years old。 I do not know whose it is; I
love it as my own。 Come with me; whoever you are; come with me。〃
The two sped along the silent streetsas silent as the night were
they。 They entered the house; Susan snatched up the light; and
carried it upstairs。 The other followed。
She stood with wild; glaring eyes by the bedside; never looking at
Susan; but hungrily gazing at the little; white; still child。 She
stooped down; and put her hand tight on her own heart; as if to still
its beating; and bent her ear to the pale lips。 Whatever the result
was; she did not speak; but threw off the bed…clothes wherewith Susan
had tenderly covered up the little creature; and felt its left side。
Then she threw up her arms; with a cry of wild despair。
〃She is dead! she is dead!〃
She looked so fierce; so mad; so haggard; that; for an instant; Susan
was terrified; the next; the holy God had put courage into her heart;
and her pure arms were round that guilty; wretched creature; and her
tears were falling fast and warm upon her breast。 But she was thrown
off with violence。
〃You killed heryou slighted heryou let her fall down those
stairs! you killed her!〃
Susan cleared off the thick mist before her; and; gazing at the
mother with her clear; sweet angel eyes; said; mournfully〃I would
have laid down my own life for her。〃
〃Oh; the murder is on my soul!〃 exclaimed the wild; bereaved mother;
with the fierce impetuosity of one who has none to love her; and to
be beloved; regard to whom might teach self…restraint。
〃Hush!〃 said Susan; her finger on her lips。 〃Here is the doctor。
God may suffer her to live。〃
The poor mother turned sharp round。 The doctor mounted the stair。
Ah! that mother was right; the little child was really dead and gone。
And when he confirmed her judgment; the mother fell down in a fit。
Susan; with her deep grief; had to forget herself; and forget her
darling (her charge for years); and question the doctor what she must
do with the poor wretch; who lay on the floor in such extreme of
misery。
〃She is the mother!〃 said she。
〃Why did she not take better care of her child?〃 asked he; almost
angrily。
But Susan only said; 〃The little child slept with me; and it was I
that left her。〃
〃I will go back and make up a composing draught; and while I am away
you must get her to bed。〃
Susan took out some of her own clothes; and softly undressed the
stiff; powerless form。 There was no other bed in the house but the
one in which her father slept。 So she tenderly lifted the body of
her darling; and was going to take it downstairs; but the mother
opened her eyes; and seeing what she was about; she said〃I am not
worthy to touch her; I am so wicked。 I have spoken to you as I never
should have spoken; but I think you are very good。 May I have my own
child to lie in my arms for a little while?〃
Her voice was so strange a contrast to what it had been before she
had gone into the fit; that Susan hardly recognised it: it was now
so unspeakably soft; so irresistibly pleading; the features too had
lost their fierce expression; and were almost as placid as death。
Susan could not speak; but she carried the little child; and laid it
in its mother's arms; then; as she looked at them; something
overpowered her; and she knelt down; crying aloud〃Oh; my God; my
God; have mercy on her; and forgive and comfort her。〃
But the mother kept smiling; and stroking the