lizzie leigh-第7章

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right；　and　that　God　is　on　my　side。　　If　He　should　lead　the　poor

wandering　lassie　to　Susan's　door；　and　she　comes　back；　crying　and

sorryful；　led　by　that　good　angel　to　us　once　more；　thou　shalt　never

say　a　casting…up　word　to　her　about　her　sin；　but　be　tender　and　helpful

towards　one　'who　was　lost　and　is　found；'　so　may　God's　blessing　rest

on　thee；　and　so　mayst　thou　lead　Susan　home　as　thy　wife。〃



She　stood　no　longer　as　the　meek；　imploring；　gentle　mother；　but　firm

and　dignified；　as　if　the　interpreter　of　God's　will。　　Her　manner　was

so　unusual　and　solemn；　that　it　overcame　all　Will's　pride　and

stubbornness。　　He　rose　softly　while　she　was　speaking；　and　bent　his

head；　as　if　in　reverence　at　her　words；　and　the　solemn　injunction

which　they　conveyed。　　When　she　had　spoken；　he　said；　in　so　subdued　a

voice　that　she　was　almost　surprised　at　the　sound；　〃Mother；　I　will。〃



〃I　may　be　dead　and　gone；　but；　all　the　same；　thou　wilt　take　home　the

wandering　sinner；　and　heal　up　her　sorrows；　and　lead　her　to　her

Father's　house。　　My　lad！　　I　can　speak　no　more；　I'm　turned　very

faint。〃



He　placed　her　in　a　chair；　he　ran　for　water。　　She　opened　her　eyes；　and

smiled。



〃God　bless　you；　Will。　　Oh！　I　am　so　happy。　　It　seems　as　if　she　were

found；　my　heart　is　so　filled　with　gladness。〃



That　night　Mr。　Palmer　stayed　out　late　and　long。　　Susan　was　afraid

that　he　was　at　his　old　haunts　and　habitsgetting　tipsy　at　some

public…house；　and　this　thought　oppressed　her；　even　though　she　had　so

much　to　make　her　happy　in　the　consciousness　that　Will　loved　her。　　She

sat　up　long；　and　then　she　went　to　bed；　leaving　all　arranged　as　well

as　she　could　for　her　father's　return。　　She　looked　at　the　little　rosy；

sleeping　girl　who　was　her　bed…fellow；　with　redoubled　tenderness；　and

with　many　a　prayerful　thought。　　The　little　arms　entwined　her　neck　as

she　lay　down；　for　Nanny　was　a　light　sleeper；　and　was　conscious　that

she；　who　was　loved　with　all　the　power　of　that　sweet；　childish　heart；

was　near　her；　and　by　her；　although　she　was　too　sleepy　to　utter　any　of

her　half…formed　words。



And；　by…and…by；　she　heard　her　father　come　home；　stumbling　uncertain；

trying　first　the　windows；　and　next　the　door　fastenings；　with　many　a

loud　incoherent　murmur。　　The　little　innocent　twined　around　her　seemed

all　the　sweeter　and　more　lovely；　when　she　thought　sadly　of　her　erring

father。　　And　presently　he　called　aloud　for　a　light。　　She　had　left

matches　and　all　arranged　as　usual　on　the　dresser；　but；　fearful　of

some　accident　from　fire；　in　his　unusually　intoxicated　state；　she　now

got　up　softly；　and　putting　on　a　cloak；　went　down　to　his　assistance。



Alas！　the　little　arms　that　were　unclosed　from　her　soft　neck　belonged

to　a　light；　easily　awakened　sleeper。　　Nanny　missed　her　darling　Susy；

and　terrified　at　being　left　alone；　in　the　vast　mysterious　darkness；

which　had　no　bounds　and　seemed　infinite；　she　slipped　out　of　bed；　and

tottered；　in　her　little　nightgown；　towards　the　door。　　There　was　a

light　below；　and　there　was　Susy　and　safety！　　So　she　went　onwards　two

steps　towards　the　steep；　abrupt　stairs；　and　then；　dazzled　by

sleepiness；　she　stood；　she　wavered；　she　fell！　　Down　on　her　head　on

the　stone　floor　she　fell！　　Susan　flew　to　her；　and　spoke　all　soft；

entreating；　loving　words；　but　her　white　lids　covered　up　the　blue

violets　of　eyes；　and　there　was　no　murmur　came　out　of　the　pale　lips。

The　warm　tears　that　rained　down　did　not　awaken　her；　she　lay　stiff；

and　weary　with　her　short　life；　on　Susan's　knee。　　Susan　went　sick　with

terror。　　She　carried　her　upstairs；　and　laid　her　tenderly　in　bed；　she

dressed　herself　most　hastily；　with　her　trembling　fingers。　　Her　father

was　asleep　on　the　settle　downstairs；　and　useless；　and　worse　than

useless；　if　awake。　　But　Susan　flew　out　of　the　door；　and　down　the

quiet　resounding　street；　towards　the　nearest　doctor's　house。　　Quickly

she　went；　but　as　quickly　a　shadow　followed；　as　if　impelled　by　some

sudden　terror。　　Susan　rang　wildly　at　the　night…bellthe　shadow

crouched　near。　　The　doctor　looked　out　from　an　upstairs　window。



〃A　little　child　has　fallen　downstairs；　at　No。　9　Crown　Street；　and　is

very　illdying；　I'm　afraid。　　Please；　for　God's　sake；　sir；　come

directly。　　No。　9　Crown　Street。〃



〃I'll　be　there　directly；〃　said　he；　and　shut　the　window。



〃For　that　God　you　have　just　spoken　aboutfor　His　saketell　me；　are

you　Susan　Palmer？　　Is　it　my　child　that　lies　a…dying？〃　said　the

shadow；　springing　forwards；　and　clutching　poor　Susan's　arm。



〃It　is　a　little　child　of　two　years　old。　　I　do　not　know　whose　it　is；　I

love　it　as　my　own。　　Come　with　me；　whoever　you　are；　come　with　me。〃



The　two　sped　along　the　silent　streetsas　silent　as　the　night　were

they。　　They　entered　the　house；　Susan　snatched　up　the　light；　and

carried　it　upstairs。　　The　other　followed。



She　stood　with　wild；　glaring　eyes　by　the　bedside；　never　looking　at

Susan；　but　hungrily　gazing　at　the　little；　white；　still　child。　　She

stooped　down；　and　put　her　hand　tight　on　her　own　heart；　as　if　to　still

its　beating；　and　bent　her　ear　to　the　pale　lips。　　Whatever　the　result

was；　she　did　not　speak；　but　threw　off　the　bed…clothes　wherewith　Susan

had　tenderly　covered　up　the　little　creature；　and　felt　its　left　side。



Then　she　threw　up　her　arms；　with　a　cry　of　wild　despair。



〃She　is　dead！　she　is　dead！〃



She　looked　so　fierce；　so　mad；　so　haggard；　that；　for　an　instant；　Susan

was　terrified；　the　next；　the　holy　God　had　put　courage　into　her　heart；

and　her　pure　arms　were　round　that　guilty；　wretched　creature；　and　her

tears　were　falling　fast　and　warm　upon　her　breast。　　But　she　was　thrown

off　with　violence。



〃You　killed　heryou　slighted　heryou　let　her　fall　down　those

stairs！　you　killed　her！〃



Susan　cleared　off　the　thick　mist　before　her；　and；　gazing　at　the

mother　with　her　clear；　sweet　angel　eyes；　said；　mournfully〃I　would

have　laid　down　my　own　life　for　her。〃



〃Oh；　the　murder　is　on　my　soul！〃　exclaimed　the　wild；　bereaved　mother；

with　the　fierce　impetuosity　of　one　who　has　none　to　love　her；　and　to

be　beloved；　regard　to　whom　might　teach　self…restraint。



〃Hush！〃　said　Susan；　her　finger　on　her　lips。　　〃Here　is　the　doctor。

God　may　suffer　her　to　live。〃



The　poor　mother　turned　sharp　round。　　The　doctor　mounted　the　stair。

Ah！　that　mother　was　right；　the　little　child　was　really　dead　and　gone。



And　when　he　confirmed　her　judgment；　the　mother　fell　down　in　a　fit。

Susan；　with　her　deep　grief；　had　to　forget　herself；　and　forget　her

darling　（her　charge　for　years）；　and　question　the　doctor　what　she　must

do　with　the　poor　wretch；　who　lay　on　the　floor　in　such　extreme　of

misery。



〃She　is　the　mother！〃　said　she。



〃Why　did　she　not　take　better　care　of　her　child？〃　asked　he；　almost

angrily。



But　Susan　only　said；　〃The　little　child　slept　with　me；　and　it　was　I

that　left　her。〃



〃I　will　go　back　and　make　up　a　composing　draught；　and　while　I　am　away

you　must　get　her　to　bed。〃



Susan　took　out　some　of　her　own　clothes；　and　softly　undressed　the

stiff；　powerless　form。　　There　was　no　other　bed　in　the　house　but　the

one　in　which　her　father　slept。　　So　she　tenderly　lifted　the　body　of

her　darling；　and　was　going　to　take　it　downstairs；　but　the　mother

opened　her　eyes；　and　seeing　what　she　was　about；　she　said〃I　am　not

worthy　to　touch　her；　I　am　so　wicked。　　I　have　spoken　to　you　as　I　never

should　have　spoken；　but　I　think　you　are　very　good。　　May　I　have　my　own

child　to　lie　in　my　arms　for　a　little　while？〃



Her　voice　was　so　strange　a　contrast　to　what　it　had　been　before　she

had　gone　into　the　fit；　that　Susan　hardly　recognised　it：　　it　was　now

so　unspeakably　soft；　so　irresistibly　pleading；　the　features　too　had

lost　their　fierce　expression；　and　were　almost　as　placid　as　death。

Susan　could　not　speak；　but　she　carried　the　little　child；　and　laid　it

in　its　mother's　arms；　then；　as　she　looked　at　them；　something

overpowered　her；　and　she　knelt　down；　crying　aloud〃Oh；　my　God；　my

God；　have　mercy　on　her；　and　forgive　and　comfort　her。〃



But　the　mother　kept　smiling；　and　stroking　the