part 6-第5章

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　　　　　He　fell　to　looking　back　over　his　life　and　asking　himself



which　years　of　it　he　would　like　to　live　over　again；just



as　they　had　been；and　they　were　not　many。　　His　college



years　he　would　live　again；　gladly。　　After　them　there　was



nothing　he　would　care　to　repeat　until　he　came　to　Thea



Kronborg。　　There　had　been　something　stirring　about　those



years　in　Moonstone；　when　he　was　a　restless　young　man　on



the　verge　of　breaking　into　larger　enterprises；　and　when　she



was　a　restless　child　on　the　verge　of　growing　up　into　some…



thing　unknown。　　He　realized　now　that　she　had　counted　for



a　great　deal　more　to　him　than　he　knew　at　the　time。　　It　was



a　continuous　sort　of　relationship。　　He　was　always　on　the



lookout　for　her　as　he　went　about　the　town；　always　vaguely



expecting　her　as　he　sat　in　his　office　at　night。　　He　had　never



asked　himself　then　if　it　was　strange　that　he　should　find　a



child　of　twelve　the　most　interesting　and　companionable



person　in　Moonstone。　　It　had　seemed　a　pleasant；　natural



kind　of　solicitude。　　He　explained　it　then　by　the　fact　that



he　had　no　children　of　his　own。　　But　now；　as　he　looked　back



at　those　years；　the　other　interests　were　faded　and　inani…



mate。　　The　thought　of　them　was　heavy。　　But　wherever　his



life　had　touched　Thea　Kronborg's；　there　was　still　a　little



warmth　left；　a　little　sparkle。　　Their　friendship　seemed　to



run　over　those　discontented　years　like　a　leafy　pattern；　still



bright　and　fresh　when　the　other　patterns　had　faded　into



the　dull　background。　　Their　walks　and　drives　and　confi…



dences；　the　night　they　watched　the　rabbit　in　the　moon…



light；why　were　these　things　stirring　to　remember？



Whenever　he　thought　of　them；　they　were　distinctly　dif…



ferent　from　the　other　memories　of　his　life；　always　seemed



humorous；　gay；　with　a　little　thrill　of　anticipation　and　mys…



tery　about　them。　　They　came　nearer　to　being　tender　secrets



than　any　others　he　possessed。　　Nearer　than　anything　else















they　corresponded　to　what　he　had　hoped　to　find　in　the



world；　and　had　not　found。　　It　came　over　him　now　that　the



unexpected　favors　of　fortune；　no　matter　how　dazzling；　do



not　mean　very　much　to　us。　　They　may　excite　or　divert　us



for　a　time；　but　when　we　look　back；　the　only　things　we　cher…



ish　are　those　which　in　some　way　met　our　original　want；　the



desire　which　formed　in　us　in　early　youth；　undirected；　and



of　its　own　accord。



























　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　III











　　　　　FOR　the　first　four　years　after　Thea　went　to　Germany



things　went　on　as　usual　with　the　Kronborg　family。



Mrs。　Kronborg's　land　in　Nebraska　increased　in　value　and



brought　her　in　a　good　rental。　　The　family　drifted　into　an



easier　way　of　living；　half　without　realizing　it；　as　families



will。　　Then　Mr。　Kronborg；　who　had　never　been　ill；　died　sud…



denly　of　cancer　of　the　liver；　and　after　his　death　Mrs。



Kronborg　went；　as　her　neighbors　said；　into　a　decline。



Hearing　discouraging　reports　of　her　from　the　physician



who　had　taken　over　his　practice；　Dr。　Archie　went　up　from



Denver　to　see　her。　　He　found　her　in　bed；　in　the　room　where



he　had　more　than　once　attended　her；　a　handsome　woman



of　sixty　with　a　body　still　firm　and　white；　her　hair；　faded



now　to　a　very　pale　primrose；　in　two　thick　braids　down　her



back；　her　eyes　clear　and　calm。　　When　the　doctor　arrived；



she　was　sitting　up　in　her　bed；　knitting。　　He　felt　at　once　how



glad　she　was　to　see　him；　but　he　soon　gathered　that　she　had



made　no　determination　to　get　well。　　She　told　him；　indeed；



that　she　could　not　very　well　get　along　without　Mr。　Kron…



borg。　　The　doctor　looked　at　her　with　astonishment。　　Was



it　possible　that　she　could　miss　the　foolish　old　man　so　much？



He　reminded　her　of　her　children。







　　　　　〃Yes；〃　she　replied；　〃the　children　are　all　very　well；　but



they　are　not　father。　　We　were　married　young。〃







　　　　　The　doctor　watched　her　wonderingly　as　she　went　on



knitting；　thinking　how　much　she　looked　like　Thea。　　The



difference　was　one　of　degree　rather　than　of　kind。　　The



daughter　had　a　compelling　enthusiasm；　the　mother　had



none。　　But　their　framework；　their　foundation；　was　very



much　the　same。







　　　　　In　a　moment　Mrs。　Kronborg　spoke　again。　　〃Have　you



heard　anything　from　Thea　lately？〃



















　　　　　During　his　talk　with　her；　the　doctor　gathered　that　what



Mrs。　Kronborg　really　wanted　was　to　see　her　daughter　Thea。



Lying　there　day　after　day；　she　wanted　it　calmly　and　con…



tinuously。　　He　told　her　that；　since　she　felt　so；　he　thought



they　might　ask　Thea　to　come　home。







　　　　　〃I've　thought　a　good　deal　about　it；〃　said　Mrs。　Kronborg



slowly。　　〃I　hate　to　interrupt　her；　now　that　she's　begun　to



get　advancement。　　I　expect　she's　seen　some　pretty　hard



times；　though　she　was　never　one　to　complain。　　Perhaps



she'd　feel　that　she　would　like　to　come。　　It　would　be　hard；



losing　both　of　us　while　she's　off　there。〃







　　　　　When　Dr。　Archie　got　back　to　Denver　he　wrote　a　long



letter　to　Thea；　explaining　her　mother's　condition　and　how



much　she　wished　to　see　her；　and　asking　Thea　to　come；　if



only　for　a　few　weeks。　　Thea　had　repaid　the　money　she　had



borrowed　from　him；　and　he　assured　her　that　if　she　hap…



pened　to　be　short　of　funds　for　the　journey；　she　had　only　to



cable　him。







　　　　　A　month　later　he　got　a　frantic　sort　of　reply　from　Thea。



Complications　in　the　opera　at　Dresden　had　given　her　an



unhoped…for　opportunity　to　go　on　in　a　big　part。　　Before　this



letter　reached　the　doctor；　she　would　have　made　her　debut



as　ELIZABETH；　in　〃Tannhauser。〃　　She　wanted　to　go　to　her



mother　more　than　she　wanted　anything　else　in　the　world；



but；　unless　she　failed；which　she　would　not；she　abso…



lutely　could　not　leave　Dresden　for　six　months。　　It　was　not



that　she　chose　to　stay；　she　had　to　stayor　lose　every…



thing。　　The　next　few　months　would　put　her　five　years



ahead；　or　would　put　her　back　so　far　that　it　would　be　of　no



use　to　struggle　further。　　As　soon　as　she　was　free；　she　would



go　to　Moonstone　and　take　her　mother　back　to　Germany



with　her。　　Her　mother；　she　was　sure；　could　live　for　years



yet；　and　she　would　like　German　people　and　German　ways；



and　could　be　hearing　music　all　the　time。　　Thea　said　she　was



writing　her　mother　and　begging　her　to　help　her　one　last



time；　to　get　strength　and　to　wait　for　her　six　months；　and















then　she　（Thea）　would　do　everything。　　Her　mother　would



never　have　to　make　an　effort　again。







　　　　　Dr。　Archie　went　up　to　Moonstone　at　once。　　He　had　great



confidence　in　Mrs。　Kronborg's　power　of　will；　and　if　Thea's



appeal　took　hold　of　her　enough；　he　believed　she　might



get　better。　　But　when　he　was　shown　into　the　familiar　room



off　the　parlor；　his　heart　sank。　　Mrs。　Kronborg　was　lying



serene　and　fateful　on　her　pillows。　　On　the　dresser　at　the



foot　of　her　bed　there　was　a　large　photograph　of　Thea　in　the



character　in　which　she　was　to　make　her　debut。　　Mrs。



Kronborg　pointed　to　it。







　　　　　〃Isn't　she　lovely；　doctor？　　It's　nice　that　she　hasn't



changed　much。　　I've　seen　her　look　like　that　many　a　time。〃







　　　　　They　talked　for　a　while　about　Thea's　good　fortune。　　Mrs。



Kronborg　had　had　a　cablegram　saying；　〃First　performance



well　received。　　Great　relief。〃　　In　her　letter　Thea　said；　〃If



you'll　only　get　better；　dear　mother；　there's　nothing　I　can't



do。　　I　will　make　a　really　great　success；　if　you'll　try　with　me。



You　shall　have　everything　you　want；　and　we　will　always　be



together。　　I　have　a　little　ho