the story of my heart-第14章

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effort；　and　my　thought　opens。　This　is　the　only　profit　of　frost；　the　pleasure
of　winter；　to　conquer　cold；　and　to　feel　braced　and　strengthened　by　that
whose　province　it　is　to　wither　and　destroy；　making　of　cold；　life's　enemy；
life's　renewer。　The　black　north　wind　hardens　the　resolution　as　steel　is
tempered　in　ice…water。　It　is　a　sensual　joy；　as　sensuous　as　the　warm
embrace　of　the　sunlight；　but　fulness　of　physical　life　ever　brings　to　me　a
more　eager　desire　of　soul…life。

Splendid　it　is　to　feel　the　boat　rise　to　the　roller；　or　forced　through　by　the
sail　to　shear　the　foam　aside　like　a　share；　splendid　to　undulate　as　the　chest
lies　on　the　wave；　swimming；　the　brimming　ocean　round：　then　I　know　and　feel
its　deep　strong　tide；　its　immense　fulness；　and　the　sun　glowing　over；
splendid　to　climb　the　steep　green　hill：　in　these　I　feel　myself；　I　drink　the
exquisite　joy　of　the　senses；　and　my　soul　lifts　itself　with　them。　It　is
beautiful　even　to　watch　a　fine　horse　gallop；　the　long　stride；　the　rush　of
the　wind　as　he　passesmy　heart　beats　quicker　to　the　thud　of　the　hoofs；　and
I　feel　his　strength。　Gladly　would　I　have　the　strength　of　the　Tartar　stallion
roaming　the　wild　steppe；　that　very　strength；　what　vehemence　of　soul…thought
would　accompany　it。　But　I　should　like　it；　too；　for　itself。　For　I　believe；
with　all　my　heart；　in　the　body　and
the　flesh；　and　believe　that　it　should　be　increased　and　made　more
beautiful　by　every　means。　I　believeI　do　more　than　thinkI
believe　it　to　be　a　sacred　duty；　incumbent　upon　every　one；　man
and　woman；　to　add　to　and　encourage　their　physical　life；　by
exercise；　and　in　every　manner。　A　sacred　duty　each　towards　himself；　and　each
towards　the　whole　of　the　human　race。　Each　one　of　us　should　do　some　little
part　for　the　physical　good　of　the　racehealth；　strength；　vigour。　　here　is
no　harm　therein　to　the　soul：　on　the　contrary；　those　who　stunt　their　physical
life　are　most　certainly　stunting　their　souls。

I　believe　all　manner　of　asceticism　to　be　the　vilest　blasphemy
blasphemy　towards　the　whole　of　the　human　race。　　I　believe　in　the
flesh　and　the　body；　which　is　worthy　of　worshipto　see　a　perfect　human　body
unveiled　causes　a　sense　of　worship。　The　ascetics　are　the　only　persons　who
are　impure。　Increase　of　physical　beauty　is　attended　by　increase　of　soul
beauty。　The　soul　is　the　high　even　by　gazing　on　beauty。　Let　me　be　fleshly
perfect。

It　is　in　myself　that　I　desire　increase；　profit；　and　exaltation
of　body；　mind；　and　soul。　The　surroundings；　the　clothes；　the　dwelling；　the
social　status；　the　circumstances　are　to　me　utterly　indifferent。　Let　the
floor　of　the　room　be　bare；　let　the　furniture　be　a　plank　table；　the　bed　a
mere　pallet。　Let　the　house　be　plain　and　simple；　but　in　the　midst　of　air　and
light。　These　are　enougha　cave　would　be　enough；　in　a　warmer　climate　the
open　air　would　suffice。　Let　me　be　furnished　in　myself　with　health；　safety；
strength；　the　perfection　of　physical　existence；　let　my　mind　be　furnished
with　highest　thoughts　of　soul…life。　Let　me　be　in　myself　myself　fully。　The
pageantry　of　power；　the　still　more
foolish　pageantry　of　wealth；　the　senseless　precedence　of　place；
words　fail　me　to　express　my　utter　contempt　for　such　pleasure　or
such　ambitions。　Let　me　be　in　myself　myself　fully；　and　those　I
love　equally　so。

It　is　enough　to　lie　on　the　sward　in　the　shadow　of　green　boughs；
to　listen　to　the　songs　of　summer；　to　drink　in　the　sunlight；　the　air；　the
flowers；　the　sky；　the　beauty　of　all。　Or　upon　the　hill…tops　to　watch　the
white　clouds　rising　over　the　curved　hill…lines；　their　shadows　descending　the
slope。　Or　on　the　beach　to　listen　to　the　sweet　sigh　as　the　smooth　sea　runs　up
and　recedes。　It　is　lying　beside　the　immortals；　in…drawing　the　life　of　the
ocean；　the　earth；　and　the　sun。

I　want　to　be　always　in　company　with　these；　with　earth；　and　sun；
and　sea；　and　stars　by　night。　　The　pettiness　of　house…lifechairs　and
tablesand　the　pettiness　of　observances；　the　petty　necessity　of　useless
labour；　useless　because　productive　of　nothing；　chafe　me　the　year　through。　I
want　to　be　always　in　company　with　the　sun；　and　sea；　and　earth。　These；　and
the　stars　by　night；　are　my　natural　companions。My　heart　looks　back　and
sympathises　with　all　the　joy　and　life　of　ancient　time。　With　the　circling
dance　burned　in　still　attitude　on　the　vase；　with　the　chase　and　the　hunter
eagerly　pursuing；　whose　javelin　trembles　to　be　thrown；　with　the　extreme　fury
of　feeling；　the　whirl　of　joy　in　the　warriors　from　Marathon　to　the　last
battle　of　Rome；　not　with　the　slaughter；　but　with　the　passionthe　life　in
the　passion；　with　the　garlands　and　the　flowers；　with　all　the　breathing　busts
that　have　panted　beneath　the　sun。　O　beautiful　human　life！　Tears　come　in　my
eyes　as　I　think　of　it。　So　beautiful；　so　inexpressibly　beautiful！

So　deep　is　the　passion　of　life　that；　if　it　were　possible　to　live
again；　it　must　be　exquisite　to　die　pushing　the　eager　breast
against　the　sword。　In　the　flush　of　strength　to　face　the　sharp
pain　joyously；　and　laugh　in　the　last　glance　of　the　sunif　only
to　live　again；　now　on　earth；　were　possible。　So　subtle　is　the
chord　of　life　that　sometimes　to　watch　troops　marching　in　rhythmic　order；
undulating　along　the　column　as　the　feet　are　lifted；　brings　tears　in　my　eyes。
Yet　could　I　have　in　my　own　heart　all　the　passion；　the　love　and　joy；　burned
in　the　breasts　that　have　panted；　breathing　deeply；　since　the　hour　of　Ilion；
yet　still　I　should　desire　more。　How　willingly　I　would　strew　the　paths　of　all
with　flowers；　how　beautiful　a　delight　to　make　the　world　joyous！　The　song
should　never　be　silent；　the　dance　never　still；　the　laugh　should　sound　like
water　which　runs　for　ever。

I　would　submit　to　a　severe　discipline；　and　to　go　without　many
things　cheerfully；　for　the　good　and　happiness　of　the　human　race
in　the　future。　Each　one　of　us　should　do　something；　however　small；　towards
that　great　end。　At　the　present　time　the　labour　of　our　predecessors　in　this
country；　in　all　other　countries　of　the　earth；　is　entirely　wasted。　We
livethat　is；　we　snatch　an　existenceand　ourworks　become　nothing。　The
piling　up　of　fortunes；　the　building　of　cities；　the　establishment　of　immense
commerce；　ends　in　a　cipher。　These　objects　are　so　outside　my　idea　that　I
cannot　understand　them；　and　look　upon　the　struggle　in　amazement。　Not　even
the　pressure　of　poverty　can　force　upon　me　an　understanding　of；　and　sympathy
with；　these　things。　It　is　the　human　being　as　the　human　being　of　whom　I
think。　That　the　human　being　as　the　human　being；　nudeapart　altogether　from
money；　clothing；　houses；　propertiesshould　enjoy　greater　health；　strength；
safety；　beauty；　and　happiness；　I　would　gladly　agree　to　a　discipline　like
that　of　Sparta。　The　Spartan　method　did　produce　the　finest　race　of　men；　and
Sparta　was　famous　in　antiquity　for　the　most　beautiful　women。　So　far；
therefore；　it　fits　exactly　to　my　ideas。

No　science　of　modern　times　has　yet　discovered　a　plan　to　meet　the
requirements　of　the　millions　who　live　now；　no　plan　by　which　they　might
attain　similar　physical　proportion。　Some　increase　of　longevity；　some　slight
improvement　in　the　general　health　is　promised；　and　these　are　great　things；
but　far；　far　beneath　the　ideal。　Probably　the　whole　mode　of　thought　of　the
nations　must　be　altered　before　physical　progress　is　possible。　Not　while
money；　furniture；　affected　show　and　the　pageantry　of　wealth　are　the
ambitions　of　the　multitude　can　the　multitude　become　ideal　in　form。　When　the
ambition　of　the　multitude　is　fixed　on　the　ideal　of　form　and　beauty；　then
that　ideal　will　become　immediately　possible；　and　a　marked　advance　towards　it
could　be　made　in　three　generations。　　Glad；　indeed；　should　I　be　to　discover
something　that　would　help　towards　this　end。

How　pleasant　it　would　be　each　day　to　think；　To…day　I　have　done
something　that　will　tend　to　render　future　generations　more
happy。　The　very　thought　would　make　this　hour　sweeter。　　It　is　absolutely
necessary　that　something　of　this　kind　should　be　discovered。　First；　we　must
lay　down　the　axiom　that　as　yet　nothing　has　been　found；　we　have　nothing　to
start　with；　all　has　to　be　begun　afresh。　All　courses　or　methods　of　human　life
have　hitherto　been　failures。　Some　course　of　life　is　needed　based　on　things
that　are；　irrespective　of　tradition。　The　physical　ideal