the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第47章
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st either communicates his own life to his creations； or else merely whittles out puppets and dresses up dolls。〃
What a torrent of paradoxes and irreverences！ But boldness in a young man is not displeasing to me。 Gelis gets up from his chair and sits down again。 I know perfectly well what is worrying him； and whom he is waiting for。 And now he begins to talk to me about his being able to make fifteen hundred francs a year； to which he can add the revenue he derives from a little property that he has inheritedtwo thousand francs a year more。 And I am not in the least deceived as to the purpose of these confidences on his part。 I know perfectly well that he is only making his little financial statements in order to persuade me that he is comfortably circumstanced； steady； fond of home； comparatively independentor； to put the matter in the fewest words possible； able to marry。 Quod erat demonstrandum；as the geometricians say。
He has got up and sat down just twenty times。 He now rises for the twenty…first time； and； as he has not been able to see Jeanne； he goes away feeling as unhappy as possible。
The moment he has gone； Jeanne comes into the City of Books； under the pretext of looking for Hannibal。 She is also quite unhappy； and her voice becomes singularly plaintive as she calls her pet to give him some milk。 Look at that sad little face； Bonnard！ Tyrant； gaze upon thy work！ Thou hast been able to keep them from seeing each other； but they have now both of them the same expression of countenance； and thou mayest discern from that similarity of expression that in spite of thee they are united in thought。 Cassandra； be happy！ Bartholo； rejoice！ This is what it means to be a guardian！ Just see her kneeling down there on the carpet with Hannibal's head between her hands！
Yes； caress the stupid animal！pity him！moan over him！we know very well； you little rogue； the real cause of all these sighs and plaints！ Nevertheless； it makes a very pretty picture。 I look at it for a long time； then； throwing a glance around my library； I exclaim；
〃Jeanne； I am tired of all those books； we must sell them。〃
September 20。
It is done！they are betrothed。 Gelis； who is an orphan； as Jeanne is； did not make his proposal to me in person。 He got one of his professors； an old colleague of mine； highly esteemed for his learning and character； to come to me on his behalf。 But what a love messenger！ Great Heavens！ A bearneat a bear of the Pyrenees； but a literary bear； and this latter variety of bear is much more ferocious than the former。
〃Right or wrong （in my opinion wrong） Gelis says that he does not want any dowry； he takes your ward with nothing but her chemise。 Say yes； and the thing is settled！ Make haste about it！ I want to show you two or three very curious old tokens from Lorraine which I am sure you never saw before。〃
That is literally what he said to me。 I answered him that I would consult Jeanne； and I found no small pleasure in telling him that my ward had a dowry。
Her dowrythere it is in front of me！ It is my library。 Henri and Jeanne have not even the faintest suspicion about it； and the fact is I am commonly believed to be much richer than I am。 I have the face of an old miser。 It is certainly a lying face； but its untruthfulness has often won for me a great deal of consideration。 There is nobody so much respected in this world as a stingy rich man。
I have consulted Jeanne；but what was the need of listening for her answer？ It is done！ They are betrothed。
It would ill become my character as well as my face to watch these young people any longer for the mere purpose of noting down their words and gestures。 Noli me tangere：that is the maxim for all charming love affairs。 I know my duty。 It is to respect all the little secrets of that innocent soul intrusted to me。 Let these children love each other all they can！ Never a word of their fervent outpouring of mutual confidences； never a hint of their artless self…betrayals； will be set down in this diary by the old guardian whose authority was so gentle and so brief。
At all events； I am not going to remain with my arms folded； and if they have their business to attend to； I have mine also。 I am preparing a catalogue of my books； with a view to having them all sold at auction。 It is a task which saddens and amuses me at the same time。 I linger over it； perhaps a good deal longer than I ought to do； turning the leaves of all those works which have become so familiar to my thought； to my touch； to my sighteven out of all necessity and reason。 But it is a farewell； and it has ever been in the nature of man to prolong a farewell。
This ponderous volume here； which has served me so much for thirty long years； how can I leave it without according it every kindness that a faithful servant deserves？ And this one again； which has so often consoled me by its wholesome doctrines； must I not bow down before it for the last time； as to a Master？ But each time that I meet with a volume which led me into error； which ever afflicted me with false dates； omissions； lies； and other plagues of the archaeologist； I say to it with bitter joy： 〃Go！ imposter； traitor； false…witness！ flee thou far away from me for ever；vade retro！ all absurdly covered with gold as thou art！ and I pray it may befall theethanks to thy usurped reputation and thy comely morocco attire to take thy place in the cabinet of some banker…bibliomaniac； whom thou wilt never be able to seduce as thou has seduced me； because he will never read one single line of thee。〃
I laid aside some books I must always keepthose books which were given to me as souvenirs。 As I placed among them the manuscript of the 〃Golden Legend；〃 I could not but kiss it in memory of Madame Trepof； who remained grateful to me in spite of her high position and all her wealth； and who became my benefactress merely to prove to me that she felt I had once done her a kindness。。。。 Thus I had made a reserve。 It was then that； for the first time； I felt myself inclined to commit a deliberate crime。 All through that night I was strongly tempted； by morning the temptation had become irresistible。 Everybody else in the house was still asleep。 I got out of bed and stole softly from my room。
Ye powers of darkness！ ye phantoms of the night！ if while lingering within my home after the crowing of the cock； you saw me stealing about on tiptoe in the City of Books； you certainly never cried out； as Madame Trepof did at Naples； 〃That old man has a good…natured round back！〃 I entered the library； Hannibal； with his tail perpendicularly erected； came to rub himself against my legs and purr。 I seized a volume from its shelf； some venerable Gothic text or some noble poet of the Renaissancethe jewel； the treasure which I had been dreaming about all night； I seized it and slipped it away into the very bottom of the closet which I had reserved for those books I intended to retain； and which soon became full almost to bursting。 It is horrible to relate： I was stealing from the dowry of Jeanne！ And when the crime had been consummated I set myself again sturdily to the task of cataloguing； until Jeanne came to consult me in regard to something about a dress or a trousseau。 I could not possibly understand just what she was talking about； through my total ignorance of the current vocabulary of dress…making and linen…drapery。 Ah！ if a bride of the fourteenth century had come to talk to me about the apparel of her epoch； then； indeed； I should have been able to understand her language！ But Jeanne does not belong to my time； and I have to send her to Madame de Gabry； who on this important occasion will take the place of her mother。
。。。Night has come！ Leaning from the window； we gaze at the vast sombre stretch of the city below us； pierced with multitudinous points of light。 Jeanne presses her hand to her forehead as she leans upon the window…bar； and seems a little sad。 And I say to myself as I watch her： All changes even the most longed for； have their melancholy； for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves： we must die to one life before we can enter into another！
And as if answering my thought； t
