the lion and the unicorn(狮子与独角兽)-第7章
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was sure that this explained her feelingsshe was disappointed that he had
not kept up to his own standard； that he was weak enough to turn aside
from it for the first pretty pair of eyes。 But she was too honest and too
just to accept that diagnosis of her feelings as finalshe knew there had
been many pairs of eyes in America and in London； and that though Philip
had seen them； he had not answered them when they spoke。 No； she
confessed frankly； she was hurt with herself for neglecting her old friend
so selfishly and for so long a time； his love gave him claims on her
consideration； at least； and she had forgotten that and him； and had run
after strange gods and allowed others to come in and take her place； and to
give him the sympathy and help which she should have been the first to
offer； and which would have counted more when coming from her than
from any one else。 She determined to make amends at once for her
thoughtlessness and selfishness； and her brain was pleasantly occupied
with plans and acts of kindness。 It was a new entertainment； and she
found she delighted in it。 She directed the cabman to go to Solomons's；
and from there sent Philip a bunch of flowers and a line saying that on the
following day she was coming to take tea with him。 She had a guilty
feeling that he might consider her friendly advances more seriously than
she meant them； but it was her pleasure to be reckless： her feelings were
running riotously； and the sensation was so new that she refused to be
circumspect or to consider consequences。 Who could tell； she asked
herself with a quick； frightened gasp； but that； after all； it might be that she
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was learning to care？ From Solomons's she bade the man drive to the
shop in Cranbourne Street where she was accustomed to purchase the
materials she used in painting； and Fate； which uses strange agents to work
out its ends； so directed it that the cabman stopped a few doors below this
shop； and opposite one where jewelry and other personal effects were
bought and sold。 At any other time； or had she been in any other mood；
what followed might not have occurred； but Fate； in the person of the
cabman； arranged it so that the hour and the opportunity came together。
There were some old mezzotints in the window of the loan shop； a
string of coins and medals； a row of new French posters； and far down to
the front a tray filled with gold and silver cigarette… cases and watches and
rings。 It occurred to Helen； who was still bent on making restitution for
her neglect； that a cigarette…case would be more appropriate for a man than
flowers； and more lasting。 And she scanned the contents of the window
with the eye of one who now saw in everything only something which
might give Philip pleasure。 The two objects of value in the tray upon
which her eyes first fell were the gold seal…ring with which Philip had
sealed his letters to her； and； lying next to it； his gold watch！ There was
something almost human in the way the ring and watch spoke to her from
the pastin the way they appealed to her to rescue them from the
surroundings to which they had been abandoned。 She did not know what
she meant to do with them nor how she could return them to Philip； but
there was no question of doubt in her manner as she swept with a rush into
the shop。 There was no attempt； either； at bargaining in the way in which
she pointed out to the young woman behind the counter the particular ring
and watch she wanted。 They had not been left as collateral； the young
woman said； they had been sold outright。
〃Then any one can buy them？〃 Helen asked eagerly。 〃They are for
sale to the publicto any one？〃
The young woman made note of the customer's eagerness； but with
an unmoved countenance。
〃Yes； miss； they are for sale。 The ring is four pounds and the watch
twenty…five。〃
〃Twenty…nine pounds！〃 Helen gasped。
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That was more money than she had in the world； but the fact did not
distress her； for she had a true artistic disregard for ready money； and the
absence of it had never disturbed her。 But now it assumed a sudden and
alarming value。 She had ten pounds in her purse and ten pounds at her
studiothese were just enough to pay for a quarter's rent and the rates； and
there was a hat and cloak in Bond Street which she certainly must have。
Her only assets consisted of the possibility that some one might soon order
a miniature； and to her mind that was sufficient。 Some one always had
ordered a miniature； and there was no reasonable doubt but that some one
would do it again。 For a moment she questioned if it would not be
sufficient if she bought the ring and allowed the watch to remain。 But
she recognized that the ring meant more to her than the watch； while the
latter； as an old heirloom which had been passed down to him from a
great…grandfather； meant more to Philip。 It was for Philip she was doing
this； she reminded herself。 She stood holding his possessions； one in
each hand； and looking at the young woman blankly。 She had no doubt
in her mind that at least part of the money he had received for them had
paid for the flowers he had sent to her in Scotland。 The certainty of this
left her no choice。 She laid the ring and watch down and pulled the only
ring she possessed from her own finger。 It was a gift from Lady Gower。
She had no doubt that it was of great value。
〃Can you lend me some money on that？〃 she asked。 It was the first
time she had conducted a business transaction of this nature； and she felt
as though she were engaging in a burglary。
〃We don't lend money； miss；〃 the girl said； 〃we buy outright。 I can
give you twenty…eight shillings for this；〃 she added。
〃Twenty…eight shillings；〃 Helen gasped； 〃why； it is worthoh； ever so
much more than that！〃
〃That is all it is worth to us；〃 the girl answered。 She regarded the
ring indifferently and laid it away from her on the counter。 The action
was final。
Helen's hands rose slowly to her breast； where a pretty watch dangled
from a bowknot of crushed diamonds。 It was her only possession； and
she was very fond of it。 It also was the gift of one of the several great
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ladies who had adopted her since her residence in London。 Helen had
painted a miniature of this particular great lady which had looked so
beautiful that the pleasure which the original of the portrait derived from
the thought that she still really looked as she did in the miniature was
worth more to her than many diamonds。
But it was different with Helen； and no one could count what it cost
