the lion and the unicorn(狮子与独角兽)-第6章
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passed a pleasant summer。 She thought she had never seen her looking
so well。 Helen thought Miss Cavendish herself was looking very well
also； but Marion said no； that she was too sunburnt； she would not be able
to wear a dinner…dress for a month。 There was a pause while Marion's
quill scratched violently across Carroll's note…paper。 Helen felt that in
some way she was being treated as an intruder； or worse； as a guest。 She
did not sit down； it seemed impossible to do so； but she moved uncertainly
about the room。 She noted that there were many changes； it seemed
more bare and empty； her picture was still on the writing…desk； but there
were at least six new photographs of Marion。 Marion herself had
brought them to the room that morning； and had carefully arranged them
in conspicuous places。 But Helen could not know that。 She thought
there was an unnecessary amount of writing scribbled over the face of
each。
Marion addressed her letter and wrote 〃Immediate〃 across the
envelope； and placed it before the clock on the mantelshelf。 〃You will
find Philip looking very badly；〃 she said； as she pulled on her gloves。
〃He has been in town all summer； working very hardhe has had no
holiday at all。 I don't think he's well。 I have been a great deal worried
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about him；〃 she added。 Her face was bent over the buttons of her glove；
and when she raised her blue eyes to Helen they were filled with serious
concern。
〃Really；〃 Helen stammered； 〃II didn't knowin his letters he seemed
very cheerful。〃
Marion shook her head and turned and stood looking thoughtfully out
of the window。 〃He's in a very hard place；〃 she began abruptly； and then
stopped as though she had thought better of what she intended to say。
Helen tried to ask her to go on； but could not bring herself to do so。 She
wanted to get away。
〃I tell him he ought to leave London；〃 Marion began again； 〃he needs
a change and a rest。〃
〃I should think he might；〃 Helen agreed； 〃after three months of this
heat。 He wrote me he intended going to Herne Bay or over to Ostend。〃
〃Yes； he had meant to go；〃 Marion answered。 She spoke with the air
of one who possessed the most intimate knowledge of Carroll's
movements and plans； and change of plans。 〃But he couldn't；〃 she added。
〃He couldn't afford it。 Helen；〃 she said； turning to the other girl；
dramatically； 〃do you knowI believe that Philip is very poor。〃
Miss Cabot exclaimed incredulously； 〃Poor！〃 She laughed。 〃Why；
what do you mean？〃
〃I mean that he has no money；〃 Marion answered； sharply。 〃These
rooms represent nothing。 He only keeps them on because he paid for
them in advance。 He's been living on three shillings a day。 That's poor
for him。 He takes his meals at cabmen's shelters and at Lockhart's； and
he's been doing so for a month。〃
Helen recalled with a guilty thrill the receipt of certain boxes of La
France rosescut long； in the American fashionwhich had arrived within
the last month at various country houses。 She felt indignant at herself；
and miserable。 Her indignation was largely due to the recollection that
she had given these flowers to her hostess to decorate the dinner…table。
She hated to ask this girl of things which she should have known better
than any one else。 But she forced herself to do it。 She felt she must
know certainly and at once。
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〃How do you know this？〃 she asked。 〃Are you sure there is no
mistake？〃
〃He told me himself；〃 said Marion； 〃when he talked of letting the
plays go and returning to America。 He said he must go back； that his
money was gone。〃
〃He is gone to America！〃 Helen said； blankly。
〃No； he wanted to go； but I wouldn't let him；〃 Marion went on。 〃I
told him that some one might take his play any day。 And this third one
he has written； the one he finished this summer in town； is the best of all； I
think。 It's a love…story。 It's quite beautiful。〃 She turned and arranged
her veil at the glass； and as she did so； her eyes fell on the photographs of
herself scattered over the mantelpiece； and she smiled slightly。 But
Helen did not see hershe was sitting down now； pulling at the books on
the table。 She was confused and disturbed by emotions which were quite
strange to her； and when Marion bade her good…by she hardly noticed her
departure。 What impressed her most of all in what Marion had told her；
was； she was surprised to find； that Philip was going away。 That she
herself had frequently urged him to do so； for his own peace of mind；
seemed now of no consequence。 Now that he seriously contemplated it；
she recognized that his absence meant to her a change in everything。 She
felt for the first time the peculiar place he held in her life。 Even if she
had seen him but seldom； the fact that he was within call had been more of
a comfort and a necessity to her than she understood。
That he was poor； concerned her chiefly because she knew that；
although this condition could only be but temporary； it would distress him
not to have his friends around him； and to entertain them as he had been
used to do。 She wondered eagerly if she might offer to help him； but a
second thought assured her that； for a man； that sort of help from a woman
was impossible。
She resented the fact that Marion was deep in his confidence； that it
was Marion who had told her of his changed condition and of his plans。
It annoyed her so acutely that she could not remain in the room where she
had seen her so complacently in possession。 And after leaving a brief
note for Philip； she went away。 She stopped a hansom at the door； and
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told the man to drive along the Embankmentshe wanted to be quite alone；
and she felt she could see no one until she had thought it all out； and had
analyzed the new feelings。
So for several hours she drove slowly up and down； sunk far back in
the cushions of the cab； and staring with unseeing eyes at the white
enamelled tariff and the black dash…board。
She assured herself that she was not jealous of Marion； because； in
order to be jealous； she first would have to care for Philip in the very way
she could not bring herself to do。
She decided that his interest in Marion hurt her； because it showed that
Philip was not capable of remaining true to the one ideal of his life。 She
was sure that this explained her feelingsshe was disappointed that he had
not kept up to his own standard； that he was weak enough to turn aside
from it for the first
