the lion and the unicorn(狮子与独角兽)-第5章
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her life was not narrowed down to but one ideal。 But she was not so
young as to consider herself infallible； and she had one excellent friend on
whom she was dependent for advice and to whose directions she
submitted implicitly。 This was Lady Gower； the only person to whom
Helen had spoken of Carroll and of his great feeling for her。 Lady Gower；
immediately after her marriage； had been a conspicuous and brilliant
figure in that set in London which works eighteen hours a day to keep
itself amused； but after the death of her husband she had disappeared into
the country as completely as though she had entered a convent； and after
several years had then re…entered the world as a professional philanthropist。
Her name was now associated entirely with Women's Leagues； with
committees that presented petitions to Parliament； and with public
meetings； at which she spoke with marvellous ease and effect。 Her old
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friends said she had taken up this new pose as an outlet for her nervous
energies； and as an effort to forget the man who alone had made life
serious to her。 Others knew her as an earnest woman； acting honestly for
what she thought was right。 Her success； all admitted； was due to her
knowledge of the world and to her sense of humor； which taught her with
whom to use her wealth and position； and when to demand what she
wanted solely on the ground that the cause was just。
She had taken more than a fancy for Helen； and the position of the
beautiful； motherless girl had appealed to her as one filled with dangers。
When she grew to know Helen better； she recognized that these fears were
quite unnecessary； and as she saw more of her she learned to care for her
deeply。 Helen had told her much of Carroll and of his double purpose in
coming to London； of his brilliant work and his lack of success in having
it recognized； and of his great and loyal devotion to her； and of his lack of
success； not in having that recognized； but in her own inability to return it。
Helen was proud that she had been able to make Carroll care for her as he
did； and that there was anything about her which could inspire a man
whom she admired so much； to believe in her so absolutely and for so long
a time。 But what convinced her that the outcome for which he hoped was
impossible； was the very fact that she could admire him； and see how fine
and unselfish his love for her was； and yet remain untouched by it。
She had been telling Lady Gower one day of the care he had taken of
her ever since she was fourteen years of age； and had quoted some of the
friendly and loverlike acts he had performed in her service； until one day
they had both found out that his attitude of the elder brother was no longer
possible； and that he loved her in the old and only way。 Lady Gower
looked at her rather doubtfully and smiled。
〃I wish you would bring him to see me； Helen〃 she said； 〃I think I
should like your friend very much。 From what you tell me of him I doubt
if you will find many such men waiting for you in this country。 Our men
marry for reasons of property； or they love blindly； and are exacting and
selfish before and after they are married。 I know； because so many
women came to me when my husband was alive to ask how it was that I
continued so happy in my married life。〃
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〃But I don't want to marry any one；〃 Helen remonstrated gently。
〃American girls are not always thinking only of getting married。〃
〃What I meant was this；〃 said Lady Gower； 〃that； in my experience； I
have heard of but few men who care in the way this young man seems to
care for you。 You say you do not love him； but if he had wanted to gain
my interest； he could not have pleaded his cause better than you have done。
He seems to see your faults and yet love you still； in spite of themor on
account of them。 And I like the things he does for you。 I like； for
instance； his sending you the book of the moment every week for two
years。 That shows a most unswerving spirit of devotion。 And the story
of the broken bridge in the woods is a wonderful story。 If I were a young
girl； I could love a man for that alone。 It was a beautiful thing to do。〃
Helen sat with her chin on her hands； deeply considering this new
point of view。
〃I thought it very foolish of him；〃 she confessed questioningly； 〃to take
such a risk for such a little thing。〃
Lady Gower smiled down at her from the height of her many years。
〃Wait；〃 she said dryly； 〃you are very young nowand very rich； every
one is crowding to give you pleasure； to show his admiration。 You are a
very fortunate girl。 But later； these things which some man has done
because he loved you； and which you call foolish； will grow large in your
life； and shine out strongly； and when you are discouraged and alone； you
will take them out； and the memory of them will make you proud and
happy。 They are the honors which women wear in secret。〃
Helen came back to town in September； and for the first few days was
so occupied in refurnishing her studio and in visiting the shops that she
neglected to send Carroll word of her return。 When she found that a
whole week had passed without her having made any effort to see him；
and appreciated how the fact would hurt her friend； she was filled with
remorse； and drove at once in great haste to Jermyn Street； to announce
her return in person。 On the way she decided that she would soften the
blow of her week of neglect by asking him to take her out to luncheon。
This privilege she had once or twice accorded him； and she felt that the
pleasure these excursions gave Carroll were worth the consternation they
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caused to Lady Gower。
The servant was uncertain whether Mr。 Carroll was at home or not； but
Helen was too intent upon making restitution to wait for the fact to be
determined； and； running up the stairs； knocked sharply at the door of his
study。
A voice bade her come in； and she entered； radiant and smiling her
welcome。 But Carroll was not there to receive it； and instead； Marion
Cavendish looked up at her from his desk where she was busily writing。
Helen paused with a surprised laugh； but Marion sprang up and hailed her
gladly。 They met half way across the room and kissed each other with
the most friendly feeling。
Philip was out； Marion said； and she had just stepped in for a moment
to write him a note。 If Helen would excuse her； she would finish it； as
she was late for rehearsal。
But she asked over her shoulder； with great interest； if Helen had
passed a pleasant summer。 She thought she had never seen her
