confidence-第27章

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clined　upon〃　a　young　lady　who；　in　force　of　understanding；　was　so　very　much　Miss　Vivian's　inferior；　and　this　knowledge　kept　him　ill　at　his　ease　and　gave　him　a　certain　pitiable　awkwardness。　Bernard's　sense　of　the　anomaly　grew　rapidly　less　acute；　he　made　various　observations　which　helped　it　to　seem　natural。　Blanche　was　wonderfully　pretty；　she　was　very　graceful；　innocent；　amusing。　　Since　Gordon　had　determined　to　marry　a　little　goose；　he　had　chosen　the　animal　with　extreme　discernment。　It　had　quite　the　plumage　of　a　swan；　and　it　sailed　along　the　stream　of　life　with　an　extraordinary　lightness　of　motion。　He　asked　himself　indeed　at　times　whether　Blanche　were　really　so　silly　as　she　seemed；　he　doubted　whether　any　woman　could　be　so　silly　as　Blanche　seemed。　　He　had　a　suspicion　at　times　that；　for　ends　of　her　own；　she　was　playing　a　partthe　suspicion　arising　from　the　fact　that；　as　usually　happens　in　such　cases；　she　over…played　it。　　Her　empty　chatter；　her　futility；　her　childish　coquetry　and　frivolitysuch　light　wares　could　hardly　be　the　whole　substance　of　any　woman's　being；　there　was　something　beneath　them　which　Blanche　was　keeping　out　of　sight。　She　had　a　scrap　of　a　mind　somewhere；　and　even　a　little　particle　of　a　heart。　　If　one　looked　long　enough　one　might　catch　a　glimpse　of　these　possessions。　　But　why　should　she　keep　them　out　of　sight；　and　what　were　the　ends　that　she　proposed　to　serve　by　this　uncomfortable　perversity？　　Bernard　wondered　whether　she　were　fond　of　her　husband；　and　he　heard　it　intimated　by　several　good　people　in　New　York　who　had　had　some　observation　of　the　courtship；　that　she　had　married　him　for　his　money。　He　was　very　sorry　to　find　that　this　was　taken　for　granted；　and　he　determined；　on　the　whole；　not　to　believe　it。　He　was　disgusted　with　the　idea　of　such　a　want　of　gratitude；　for；　if　Gordon　Wright　had　loved　Miss　Evers　for　herself；　the　young　lady　might　certainly　have　discovered　the　intrinsic　value　of　so　disinterested　a　suitor。　　Her　mother　had　the　credit　of　having　made　the　match。　　Gordon　was　known　to　be　looking　for　a　wife；　Mrs。　Evers　had　put　her　little　feather…head　of　a　daughter　very　much　forward；　and　Gordon　was　as　easily　captivated　as　a　child　by　the　sound　of　a　rattle。　　Blanche　had　an　affection　for　him　now；　however；　Bernard　saw　no　reason　to　doubt　that；　and　certainly　she　would　have　been　a　very　flimsy　creature　indeed　if　she　had　not　been　touched　by　his　inexhaustible　kindness。　She　had　every　conceivable　indulgence；　and　if　she　married　him　for　his　money；　at　least　she　had　got　what　she　wanted。　She　led　the　most　agreeable　life　conceivable；　and　she　ought　to　be　in　high　good…humor。　It　was　impossible　to　have　a　prettier　house；　a　prettier　carriage；　more　jewels　and　laces　for　the　adornment　of　a　plump　little　person。　　It　was　impossible　to　go　to　more　parties；　to　give　better　dinners；　to　have　fewer　privations　or　annoyances。　　Bernard　was　so　much　struck　with　all　this　that；　advancing　rapidly　in　the　intimacy　of　his　gracious　hostess；　he　ventured　to　call　her　attention　to　her　blessings。　She　answered　that　she　was　perfectly　aware　of　them；　and　there　was　no　pretty　speech　she　was　not　prepared　to　make　about　Gordon。

〃I　know　what　you　want　to　say；〃　she　went　on；　〃you　want　to　say　that　he　spoils　me；　and　I　don't　see　why　you　should　hesitate。　You　generally　say　everything　you　want；　and　you　need　n't　be　afraid　of　me。　　He　does　n't　spoil　me；　simply　because　I　am　so　bad　I　can't　be　spoiled；　but　that　's　of　no　consequence。　I　was　spoiled　ages　ago；　every　one　spoiled　meevery　one　except　Mrs。　Vivian。　　I　was　always　fond　of　having　everything　I　want；　and　I　generally　managed　to　get　it。　　I　always　had　lovely　clothes；　mamma　thought　that　was　a　kind　of　a　duty。　　If　it　was　a　duty；　I　don't　suppose　it　counts　as　a　part　of　the　spoiling。　But　I　was　very　much　indulged；　and　I　know　I　have　everything　now。　Gordon　is　a　perfect　husband；　I　believe　if　I　were　to　ask　him　for　a　present　of　his　nose；　he　would　cut　it　off　and　give　it　to　me。　I　think　I　will　ask　him　for　a　small　piece　of　it　some　day；　it　will　rather　improve　him　to　have　an　inch　or　two　less。　I　don't　say　he　's　handsome；　but　he　's　just　as　good　as　he　can　be。　Some　people　say　that　if　you　are　very　fond　of　a　person　you　always　think　them　handsome；　but　I　don't　agree　with　that　at　all。　I　am　very　fond　of　Gordon；　and　yet　I　am　not　blinded　by　affection；　as　regards　his　personal　appearance。　　He　's　too　light　for　my　taste；　and　too　red。　　And　because　you　think　people　handsome；　it　does　n't　follow　that　you　are　fond　of　them。　　I　used　to　have　a　friend　who　was　awfully　handsomethe　handsomest　man　I　ever　saw　and　I　was　perfectly　conscious　of　his　defects。　　But　I　'm　not　conscious　of　Gordon's；　and　I　don't　believe　he　has　got　any。　He　's　so　intensely　kind；　it　's　quite　pathetic。　　One　would　think　he　had　done　me　an　injury　in　marrying　me；　and　that　he　wanted　to　make　up　for　it。　　If　he　has　done　me　an　injury　I　have　n't　discovered　it　yet；　and　I　don't　believe　I　ever　shall。　　I　certainly　shall　not　as　long　as　he　lets　me　order　all　the　clothes　I　want。　I　have　ordered　five　dresses　this　week；　and　I　mean　to　order　two　more。　　When　I　told　Gordon；　what　do　you　think　he　did？　He　simply　kissed　me。　　Well；　if　that　's　not　expressive；　I　don't　know　what　he　could　have　done。　　He　kisses　me　about　seventeen　times　a　day。　　I　suppose　it　's　very　improper　for　a　woman　to　tell　any　one　how　often　her　husband　kisses　her；　but；　as　you　happen　to　have　seen　him　do　it；　I　don't　suppose　you　will　be　scandalized。　　I　know　you　are　not　easily　scandalized；　I　am　not　afraid　of　you。　　You　are　scandalized　at　my　getting　so　many　dresses？　　Well；　I　told　you　I　was　spoiledI　freely　acknowledge　it。　　That　's　why　I　was　afraid　to　tell　Gordon　because　when　I　was　married　I　had　such　a　lot　of　things；　I　was　supposed　to　have　dresses　enough　to　last　for　a　year。　But　Gordon　had　n't　to　pay　for　them；　so　there　was　no　harm　in　my　letting　him　feel　that　he　has　a　wife。　　If　he　thinks　I　am　extravagant；　he　can　easily　stop　kissing　me。　　You　don't　think　it　would　be　easy　to　stop？　　It　's　very　well；　then；　for　those　that　have　never　begun！〃

Bernard　had　a　good　deal　of　conversation　with　Blanche；　of　which；　so　far　as　she　was　concerned；　the　foregoing　remarks　may　serve　as　a　specimen。　　Gordon　was　away　from　home　during　much　of　the　day；　he　had　a　chemical　laboratory　in　which　he　was　greatly　interested；　and　which　he　took　Bernard　to　see；　it　was　fitted　up　with　the　latest　contrivances　for　the　pursuit　of　experimental　science；　and　was　the　resort　of　needy　young　students；　who　enjoyed；　at　Gordon's　expense；　the　opportunity　for　pushing　their　researches。　　The　place　did　great　honor　to　Gordon's　liberality　and　to　his　ingenuity；　but　Blanche；　who　had　also　paid　it　a　visit；　could　never　speak　of　it　without　a　pretty　little　shudder。

〃Nothing　would　induce　me　to　go　there　again；〃　she　declared；　〃and　I　consider　myself　very　fortunate　to　have　escaped　from　it　with　my　life。　　It　's　filled　with　all　sorts　of　horrible　things；　that　fizzle　up　and　go　off；　or　that　make　you　turn　some　dreadful　color　if　you　look　at　them。　　I　expect　to　hear　a　great　clap　some　day；　and　half　an　hour　afterward　to　see　Gordon　brought　home　in　several　hundred　small　pieces；　put　up　in　a　dozen　little　bottles。　I　got　a　horrid　little　stain　in　the　middle　of　my　dress　that　one　of　the　young　menthe　young　savantswas　so　good　as　to　drop　there。　Did　you　see　the　young　savants　who　work　under　Gordon's　orders？　I　thought　they　were　too　forlorn；　there　is　n't　one　of　them　you　would　look　at。　　If　you　can　believe　it；　there　was　n't　one　of　them　that　looked　at　me；　they　took　no　more　notice　of　me　than　if　I　had　been　the　charwoman。　　They　might　have　shown　me　some　attention；　at　least；　as　the　wife　of　the　proprietor。　What　is　it　that　Gordon　's　calledis　n't　there　some　other　name？　If　you　say　'proprietor；'　it　sounds　as　if　he　kept　an　hotel。　I　certainly　don't　want　to　pass　for　the　wife　of　an　hotel…keeper。　What　does　he　call　himself？　　He　must　have　some　name。　I　hate　telling　people　he　's　a　chemist；　it　sounds　just　as　if　he　kept　a　shop。　　That　's　what　they　call　the　druggists　in　England；　and　I　formed　the　habit　while　I　was　there。　It　makes　me　feel　as　if　he　were　some　dreadful　little　man；　with　big　green　bottles　in　the　window　and　'night…bell'　painted　outside。　He　does　n't　call　himself　anything？　　Well；　that　's　exactly　like　Gordon！　　I　wonder　he　consents　to　have　a　name　at　all。　When　I　was　telling　some　one　about　the　young　men　who　work　under　his　orders