confidence-第21章

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Bernard　turned　back　to　the　window　with　increasing　irritation。

〃If　he　wants　the　whole　truth　he　shall　have　it；〃　he　said　to　himself。

He　stood　a　moment　in　thought　and　then　he　looked　at　his　companion　again。

〃I　think　she　would　marry　youbut　I　don't　think　she　cares　for　you。〃

Gordon　turned　a　little　pale；　but　he　clapped　his　hands　together。

〃Very　good；〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃That　's　exactly　how　I　want　you　to　speak。〃

〃Her　mother　has　taken　a　great　fancy　to　your　fortune　and　it　has　rubbed　off　on　the　girl；　who　has　made　up　her　mind　that　it　would　be　a　pleasant　thing　to　have　thirty　thousand　a　year；　and　that　her　not　caring　for　you　is　an　unimportant　detail。〃

〃I　seeI　see；〃　said　Gordon；　looking　at　his　friend　with　an　air　of　admiration　for　his　frank　and　lucid　way　of　putting　things。

Now　that　he　had　begun　to　be　frank　and　lucid；　Bernard　found　a　charm　in　it；　and　the　impulse　under　which　he　had　spoken　urged　him　almost　violently　forward。

〃The　mother　and　daughter　have　agreed　together　to　bag　you；　and　Angela；　I　am　sure；　has　made　a　vow　to　be　as　nice　to　you　after　marriage　as　possible。　Mrs。　Vivian　has　insisted　upon　the　importance　of　that；　Mrs。　Vivian　is　a　great　moralist。〃

Gordon　kept　gazing　at　his　friend；　he　seemed　positively　fascinated。

〃Yes；　I　have　noticed　that　in　Mrs。　Vivian；〃　he　said。

〃Ah；　she　's　a　very　nice　woman！〃

〃It　's　not　true；　then；〃　said　Gordon；　〃that　you　tried　to　make　love　to　Angela？〃

Bernard　hesitated　a　single　instant。



〃No；　it　is　n't　true。　　I　calumniated　myself；　to　save　her　reputation。　You　insisted　on　my　giving　you　a　reason　for　my　not　liking　her　I　gave　you　that　one。〃

〃And　your　real　reason〃

〃My　real　reason　is　that　I　believe　she　would　do　you　what　I　can't　help　regarding　as　an　injury。〃

〃Of　course！〃　and　Gordon；　dropping　his　interested　eyes；　stared　for　some　moments　at　the　carpet。　　〃But　it　is　n't　true；　then；　that　you　discovered　her　to　be　a　coquette？〃

〃Ah；　that　's　another　matter。〃

〃You　did　discover　it　all　the　same？〃

〃Since　you　want　the　whole　truthI　did！〃

〃How　did　you　discover　it？〃　　Gordon　asked；　clinging　to　his　right　of　interrogation。

Bernard　hesitated。

〃You　must　remember　that　I　saw　a　great　deal　of　her。〃

〃You　mean　that　she　encouraged　you？〃

〃If　I　had　not　been　a　very　faithful　friend　I　might　have　thought　so。〃

Gordon　laid　his　hand　appreciatively；　gratefully；　on　Bernard's　shoulder。

〃And　even　that　did　n't　make　you　like　her？〃

〃Confound　it；　you　make　me　blush！〃　cried　Bernard；　blushing　a　little　in　fact。　〃I　have　said　quite　enough；　excuse　me　from　drawing　the　portrait　of　too　insensible　a　man。　　It　was　my　point　of　view；　I　kept　thinking　of　you。〃

Gordon；　with　his　hand　still　on　his　friend's　arm；　patted　it　an　instant　in　response　to　this　declaration；　then　he　turned　away。

〃I　am　much　obliged　to　you。　　That　's　my　notion　of　friendship。　You　have　spoken　out　like　a　man。〃

〃Like　a　man；　yes。　　Remember　that。　　Not　in　the　least　like　an　oracle。〃

〃I　prefer　an　honest　man　to　all　the　oracles；〃　said　Gordon。

〃An　honest　man　has　his　impressions！　　I　have　given　you　mine　they　pretend　to　be　nothing　more。　　I　hope　they　have　n't　offended　you。〃

〃Not　in　the　least。〃

〃Nor　distressed；　nor　depressed；　nor　in　any　way　discomposed　you？〃



〃For　what　do　you　take　me？　　I　asked　you　a　favora　service；　I　imposed　it　on　you。　　You　have　done　the　thing；　and　my　part　is　simple　gratitude。〃

〃Thank　you　for　nothing；〃　said　Bernard；　smiling。　　〃You　have　asked　me　a　great　many　questions；　there　is　one　that　in　turn　I　have　a　right　to　ask　you。　What　do　you　propose　to　do　in　consequence　of　what　I　have　told　you？〃

〃I　propose　to　do　nothing。〃

This　declaration　closed　the　colloquy；　and　the　young　men　separated。　Bernard　saw　Gordon　no　more　that　evening；　he　took　for　granted　he　had　gone　to　Mrs。　Vivian's。　The　burden　of　Longueville's　confidences　was　a　heavy　load　to　carry　there；　but　Bernard　ventured　to　hope　that　he　would　deposit　it　at　the　door。　He　had　given　Gordon　his　impressions；　and　the　latter　might　do　with　them　what　he　chosetoss　them　out　of　the　window；　or　let　them　grow　stale　with　heedless　keeping。　　So　Bernard　meditated；　as　he　wandered　about　alone　for　the　rest　of　the　evening。　It　was　useless　to　look　for　Mrs。　Vivian's　little　circle；　on　the　terrace　of　the　Conversation…house；　for　the　storm　in　the　afternoon　had　made　the　place　so　damp　that　it　was　almost　forsaken　of　its　frequenters。　　Bernard　spent　the　evening　in　the　gaming…rooms；　in　the　thick　of　the　crowd　that　pressed　about　the　tables；　and　by　way　of　a　changehe　had　hitherto　been　almost　nothing　of　a　gamblerhe　laid　down　a　couple　of　pieces　at　roulette。　He　had　played　but　two　or　three　times；　without　winning　a　penny；　but　now　he　had　the　agreeable　sensation　of　drawing　in　a　small　handful　of　gold。　　He　continued　to　play；　and　he　continued　to　win。　His　luck　surprised　and　excited　himso　much　so　that　after　it　had　repeated　itself　half　a　dozen　times　he　left　the　place　and　walked　about　for　half　an　hour　in　the　outer　darkness。　He　felt　amused　and　exhilarated；　but　the　feeling　amounted　almost　to　agitation。　　He；　nevertheless；　returned　to　the　tables；　where　he　again　found　success　awaiting　him。　Again　and　again　he　put　his　money　on　a　happy　number；　and　so　steady　a　run　of　luck　began　at　last　to　attract　attention。　The　rumor　of　it　spread　through　the　rooms；　and　the　crowd　about　the　roulette　received　a　large　contingent　of　spectators。　Bernard　felt　that　they　were　looking　more　or　less　eagerly　for　a　turn　of　the　tide；　but　he　was　in　the　humor　for　disappointing　them；　and　he　left　the　place；　while　his　luck　was　still　running　high；　with　ten　thousand　francs　in　his　pocket。　　It　was　very　late　when　he　returned　to　the　innso　late　that　he　forbore　to　knock　at　Gordon's　door。　　But　though　he　betook　himself　to　his　own　quarters；　he　was　far　from　finding；　or　even　seeking；　immediate　rest。　He　knocked　about；　as　he　would　have　said；　for　half　the　night　not　because　he　was　delighted　at　having　won　ten　thousand　francs；　but　rather　because　all　of　a　sudden　he　found　himself　disgusted　at　the　manner　in　which　he　had　spent　the　evening。　It　was　extremely　characteristic　of　Bernard　Longueville　that　his　pleasure　should　suddenly　transform　itself　into　flatness。　　What　he　felt　was　not　regret　or　repentance。　He　had　it　not　in　the　least　on　his　conscience　that　he　had　given　countenance　to　the　reprehensible　practice　of　gaming。　It　was　annoyance　that　he　had　passed　out　of　his　own　control　that　he　had　obeyed　a　force　which　he　was　unable　to　measure　at　the　time。　　He　had　been　drunk　and　he　was　turning　sober。　In　spite　of　a　great　momentary　appearance　of　frankness　and　a　lively　relish　of　any　conjunction　of　agreeable　circumstances　exerting　a　pressure　to　which　one　could　respond；　Bernard　had　really　little　taste　for　giving　himself　up；　and　he　never　did　so　without　very　soon　wishing　to　take　himself　back。　He　had　now　given　himself　to　something　that　was　not　himself；　and　the　fact　that　he　had　gained　ten　thousand　francs　by　it　was　an　insufficient　salve　to　an　aching　sense　of　having　ceased　to　be　his　own　master。　　He　had　not　been　playing　he　had　been　played　with。　　He　had　been　the　sport　of　a　blind；　brutal　chance；　and　he　felt　humiliated　by　having　been　favored　by　so　rudely…operating　a　divinity。　　Good　luck　and　bad　luck？　Bernard　felt　very　scornful　of　the　distinction；　save　that　good　luck　seemed　to　him　rather　the　more　vulgar。　　As　the　night　went　on　his　disgust　deepened；　and　at　last　the　weariness　it　brought　with　it　sent　him　to　sleep。　　He　slept　very　late；　and　woke　up　to　a　disagreeable　consciousness。　　At　first；　before　collecting　his　thoughts；　he　could　not　imagine　what　he　had　on　his　mindwas　it　that　he　had　spoken　ill　of　Angela　Vivian？　It　brought　him　extraordinary　relief　to　remember　that　he　had　gone　to　bed　in　extreme　ill…humor　with　his　exploits　at　roulette。　After　he　had　dressed　himself　and　just　as　he　was　leaving　his　room；　a　servant　brought　him　a　note　superscribed　in　Gordon's　handa　note　of　which　the　following　proved　to　be　the　contents。

〃Seven　o'clock；　A。M。

〃My　dear　Bernard：　　Circumstances　have　determined　me　to　leave　Baden　immediately；　and　I　shall　take　the　train　that　starts　an　hour　hence。　　I　am　told　that　you　came　in　very　late　last　night；　so　I　won't　disturb　you　for　a　painful　parting　at　this　unnatural　hour。　I　came　to　this　decision　last　evening；　and　I　put　up　my　things；　so　I　have　nothing　to　do　but　to　take　myself　off。　　I　shall　go　to　Basel；　but　after　th