dreams-第7章

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hen　turns　down　suddenly　into　the　valley。　　He　must　follow　it；　though　none　else　sees　the　tracing。〃

〃Love？〃

He　said；　〃He　shall　hunger　for　itbut　he　shall　not　find　it。　　When　he　stretches　out　his　arms　to　it；　and　would　lay　his　heart　against　a　thing　he　loves；　then；　far　off　along　the　horizon　he　shall　see　a　light　play。　　He　must　go　towards　it。　　The　thing　he　loves　will　not　journey　with　him；　he　must　travel　alone。　　When　he　presses　somewhat　to　his　burning　heart；　crying；　'Mine；　mine；　my　own！'　he　shall　hear　a　voice'Renounce！　renounce！　this　is　not　thine！'〃

〃He　shall　succeed？〃

He　said；　〃He　shall　fail。　　When　he　runs　with　others　they　shall　reach　the　goal　before　him。　　For　strange　voices　shall　call　to　him　and　strange　lights　shall　beckon　him；　and　he　must　wait　and　listen。　　And　this　shall　be　the　strangest：　　far　off　across　the　burning　sands　where；　to　other　men；　there　is　only　the　desert's　waste；　he　shall　see　a　blue　sea！　　On　that　sea　the　sun　shines　always；　and　the　water　is　blue　as　burning　amethyst；　and　the　foam　is　white　on　the　shore。　　A　great　land　rises　from　it；　and　he　shall　see　upon　the　mountain…tops　burning　gold。〃

The　mother　said；　〃He　shall　reach　it？〃

And　he　smiled　curiously。

She　said；　〃It　is　real？〃

And　he　said；　〃What　IS　real？〃

And　she　looked　up　between　his　half…closed　eyelids；　and　said；　〃Touch。〃

And　he　leaned　forward　and　laid　his　hand　upon　the　sleeper；　and　whispered　to　it；　smiling；　and　this　only　she　heard〃This　shall　be　thy　rewardthat　the　ideal　shall　be　real　to　thee。〃

And　the　child　trembled；　but　the　mother　slept　on　heavily　and　her　brain…　picture　vanished。　　But　deep　within　her　the　antenatal　thing　that　lay　here　had　a　dream。　　In　those　eyes　that　had　never　seen　the　day；　in　that　half…　shaped　brain　was　a　sensation　of　light！　　Lightthat　it　never　had　seen。　　Lightthat　perhaps　it　never　should　see。　　Lightthat　existed　somewhere！

And　already　it　had　its　reward：　　the　Ideal　was　real　to　it。

London。



VII。　　IN　A　RUINED　CHAPEL。

〃I　cannot　forgiveI　love。〃

There　are　four　bare　walls；　there　is　a　Christ　upon　the　walls；　in　red；　carrying　his　cross；　there　is　a　Blessed　Bambino　with　the　face　rubbed　out；　there　is　Madonna　in　blue　and　red；　there　are　Roman　soldiers　and　a　Christ　with　tied　hands。　　All　the　roof　is　gone；　overhead　is　the　blue；　blue　Italian　sky；　the　rain　has　beaten　holes　in　the　walls；　and　the　plaster　is　peeling　from　it。　　The　chapel　stands　here　alone　upon　the　promontory；　and　by　day　and　by　night　the　sea　breaks　at　its　feet。　　Some　say　that　it　was　set　here　by　the　monks　from　the　island　down　below；　that　they　might　bring　their　sick　here　in　times　of　deadly　plague。　　Some　say　that　it　was　set　here　that　the　passing　monks　and　friars；　as　they　hurried　by　upon　the　roadway；　might　stop　and　say　their　prayers　here。　　Now　no　one　stops　to　pray　here；　and　the　sick　come　no　more　to　be　healed。

Behind　it　runs　the　old　Roman　road。　　If　you　climb　it　and　come　and　sit　there　alone　on　a　hot　sunny　day　you　may　almost　hear　at　last　the　clink　of　the　Roman　soldiers　upon　the　pavement；　and　the　sound　of　that　older　time；　as　you　sit　there　in　the　sun；　when　Hannibal　and　his　men　broke　through　the　brushwood；　and　no　road　was。

Now　it　is　very　quiet。　　Sometimes　a　peasant　girl　comes　riding　by　between　her　panniers；　and　you　hear　the　mule's　feet　beat　upon　the　bricks　of　the　pavement；　sometimes　an　old　woman　goes　past　with　a　bundle　of　weeds　upon　her　head；　or　a　brigand…looking　man　hurries　by　with　a　bundle　of　sticks　in　his　hand；　but　for　the　rest　the　Chapel　lies　here　alone　upon　the　promontory；　between　the　two　bays　and　hears　the　sea　break　at　its　feet。

I　came　here　one　winter's　day　when　the　midday　sun　shone　hot　on　the　bricks　of　the　Roman　road。　　I　was　weary；　and　the　way　seemed　steep。　　I　walked　into　the　chapel　to　the　broken　window；　and　looked　out　across　the　bay。　　Far　off；　across　the　blue；　blue　water；　were　towns　and　villages；　hanging　white　and　red　dots；　upon　the　mountain…sides；　and　the　blue　mountains　rose　up　into　the　sky；　and　now　stood　out　from　it　and　now　melted　back　again。

The　mountains　seemed　calling　to　me；　but　I　knew　there　would　never　be　a　bridge　built　from　them　to　me；　never；　never；　never！　　I　shaded　my　eyes　with　my　hand　and　turned　away。　　I　could　not　bear　to　look　at　them。

I　walked　through　the　ruined　Chapel；　and　looked　at　the　Christ　in　red　carrying　his　cross；　and　the　Blessed　rubbed…out　Bambino；　and　the　Roman　soldiers；　and　the　folded　hands；　and　the　reed；　and　I　went　and　sat　down　in　the　open　porch　upon　a　stone。　　At　my　feet　was　the　small　bay；　with　its　white　row　of　houses　buried　among　the　olive　trees；　the　water　broke　in　a　long；　thin；　white　line　of　foam　along　the　shore；　and　I　leaned　my　elbows　on　my　knees。　　I　was　tired；　very　tired；　tired　with　a　tiredness　that　seemed　older　than　the　heat　of　the　day　and　the　shining　of　the　sun　on　the　bricks　of　the　Roman　road；　and　I　lay　my　head　upon　my　knees；　I　heard　the　breaking　of　the　water　on　the　rocks　three　hundred　feet　below；　and　the　rustling　of　the　wind　among　the　olive　trees　and　the　ruined　arches；　and　then　I　fell　asleep　there。　I　had　a　dream。

A　man　cried　up　to　God；　and　God　sent　down　an　angel　to　help　him；　and　the　angel　came　back　and　said；　〃I　cannot　help　that　man。〃

God　said；　〃How　is　it　with　him？〃

And　the　angel　said；　〃He　cries　out　continually　that　one　has　injured　him；　and　he　would　forgive　him　and　he　cannot。〃

God　said；　〃What　have　you　done　for　him？〃

The　angel　said；　〃All。　　I　took　him　by　the　hand；　and　I　said；　'See；　when　other　men　speak　ill　of　that　man　do　you　speak　well　of　him；　secretly；　in　ways　he　shall　not　know；　serve　him；　if　you　have　anything　you　value　share　it　with　him；　so；　serving　him；　you　will　at　last　come　to　feel　possession　in　him；　and　you　will　forgive。'　　And　he　said；　'I　will　do　it。'　　Afterwards；　as　I　passed　by　in　the　dark　of　night；　I　heard　one　crying　out；　'I　have　done　all。　　It　helps　nothing！　　My　speaking　well　of　him　helps　me　nothing！　　If　I　share　my　heart's　blood　with　him；　is　the　burning　within　me　less？　　I　cannot　forgive；　I　cannot　forgive！　　Oh；　God；　I　cannot　forgive！'

〃I　said　to　him；　'See　here；　look　back　on　all　your　past。　　See　from　your　childhood　all　smallness；　all　indirectness　that　has　been　yours；　look　well　at　it；　and　in　its　light　do　you　not　see　every　man　your　brother？　　Are　you　so　sinless　you　have　right　to　hate？'

〃He　looked；　and　said；　'Yes；　you　are　right；　I　too　have　failed；　and　I　forgive　my　fellow。　　Go；　I　am　satisfied；　I　have　forgiven；'　and　he　laid　him　down　peacefully　and　folded　his　hands　on　his　breast；　and　I　thought　it　was　well　with　him。　　But　scarcely　had　my　wings　rustled　and　I　turned　to　come　up　here；　when　I　heard　one　crying　out　on　earth　again；　'I　cannot　forgive！　　I　cannot　forgive！　　Oh；　God；　God；　I　cannot　forgive！　　It　is　better　to　die　than　to　hate！　　I　cannot　forgive！　　I　cannot　forgive！'　　And　I　went　and　stood　outside　his　door　in　the　dark；　and　I　heard　him　cry；　'I　have　not　sinned　so；　not　so！　　If　I　have　torn　my　fellows'　flesh　ever　so　little；　I　have　kneeled　down　and　kissed　the　wound　with　my　mouth　till　it　was　healed。　　I　have　not　willed　that　any　soul　shall　be　lost　through　hate　of　me。　　If　they　have　but　fancied　that　I　wronged　them　I　have　lain　down　on　the　ground　before　them　that　they　might　tread　on　me；　and　so；　seeing　my　humiliation；　forgive　and　not　be　lost　through　hating　me；　they　have　not　cared　that　my　soul　should　be　lost；　they　have　not　willed　to　save　me；　they　have　not　tried　that　I　should　forgive　them！'

〃I　said　to　him；　'See　here；　be　thou　content；　do　not　forgive：　　forget　this　soul　and　its　injury；　go　on　your　way。　　In　the　next　world　perhaps'

〃He　cried；　'Go　from　me；　you　understand　nothing！　　What　is　the　next　world　to　me！　　I　am　lost　now；　today。　　I　cannot　see　the　sunlight　shine；　the　dust　is　in　my　throat；　the　sand　is　in　my　eyes！　　Go　from　me；　you　know　nothing！　　Oh；　once　again　before　I　die　to　see　that　the　world　is　beautiful！　　Oh；　God；　God；　I　cannot　live　and　not　love。　　I　cannot　live　and　hate。　　Oh；　God；　God；　God！'　　So　I　left　him　crying　out　and　came　back　here。〃

God　said；　〃This　man's　soul　must　be　saved。〃

And　the　angel　said　〃How？〃

God　said；　〃Go　down　you；　and　save　it。〃

The　angel　said；　〃What　more　shall　I　do？〃

Then　God　bent　down　and　whispered　in　the　angel's　ear；　and　the　angel　spread　out　its　wings　and　went　down　to　earth。

And　partly　I　woke；　sitting　there　upon　the　broken　stone　with　my　head　on　my　knee；　but　I　was　too　weary　to　rise。　　I　heard　the　wind　roa