the poet at the breakfast table-第48章

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reason　as　normal　shapes；　so　obliquities　of　character　are　to　be
accounted　for　on　perfectly　natural　principles；　they　are　just　as
capable　of　classification　as　the　bodily　ones；　and　they　all　diverge
from　a　certain　average　or　middle　term　which　is　the　type　of　its　kind。
If　life　had　been　a　little　longer　I　would　have　written　a　number　of
essays　for　which；　as　it　is；　I　cannot　expect　to　have　time。　　I　have　set
down　the　titles　of　a　hundred　or　more；　and　I　have　often　been　tempted
to　publish　these；　for　according　to　my　idea；　the　title　of　a　book　very
often　renders　the　rest　of　it　unnecessary。　　〃Moral　Teratology；〃　for
instance；　which　is　marked　No。　67　on　my　list　of　〃Essays　Potential；　not
Actual；〃　suggests　sufficiently　well　what　I　should　be　like　to　say　in
the　pages　it　would　preface。　　People　hold　up　their　hands　at　a　moral
monster　as　if　there　was　no　reason　for　his　existence　but　his　own
choice。　　That　was　a　fine　specimen　we　read　of　in　the　papers　a　few
years　ago；　the　Frenchman；　it　may　be　remembered；　who　used　to　waylay
and　murder　young　women；　and　after　appropriating　their　effects；　bury
their　bodies　in　a　private　cemetery　he　kept　for　that　purpose。　　It　is
very　natural；　and　I　do　not　say　it　is　not　very　proper；　to　hang　such
eccentric　persons　as　this；　but　it　is　not　clear　whether　his　vagaries
produce　any　more　sensation　at　Headquarters　than　the　meek　enterprises
of　the　mildest　of　city　missionaries。　　For　the　study　of　Moral
Teratology　will　teach　you　that　you　do　not　get　such　a　malformed
character　as　that　without　a　long　chain　of　causes　to　account　for　it；
and　if　you　only　knew　those　causes；　you　would　know　perfectly　well　what
to　expect。

You　may　feel　pretty　sure　that　our　friend　of　the　private　cemetery　was
not　the　child　of　pious　and　intelligent　parents；　that　he　was　not
nurtured　by　the　best　of　mothers；　and　educated　by　the　most　judicious
teachers；　and　that　he　did　not　come　of　a　lineage　long　known　and
honored　for　its　intellectual　and　moral　qualities。　　Suppose　that　one
should　go　to　the　worst　quarter　of　the　city　and　pick　out　the　worst…
looking　child　of　the　worst　couple　he　could　find；　and　then　train　him
up　successively　at　the　School　for　Infant　Rogues；　the　Academy　for
Young　Scamps；　and　the　College　for　Complete　Criminal　Education；　would
it　be　reasonable　to　expect　a　Francois　Xavier　or　a　Henry　Martyn　to　be
the　result　of　such　a　training？　　The　traditionists；　in　whose
presumptuous　hands　the　science　of　anthropology　has　been　trusted　from
time　immemorial；　have　insisted　on　eliminating　cause　and　effect　from
the　domain　of　morals。　　When　they　have　come　across　a　moral　monster
they　have　seemed　to　think　that　he　put　himself　together；　having　a　free
choice　of　all　the　constituents　which　make　up　manhood；　and　that
consequently　no　punishment　could　be　too　bad　for　him。

I　say；　hang　him　and　welcome；　if　that　is　the　best　thing　for　society；
hate　him；　in　a　certain　sense；　as　you　hate　a　rattlesnake；　but；　if　you
pretend　to　be　a　philosopher；　recognize　the　fact　that　what　you　hate　in
him　is　chiefly　misfortune；　and　that　if　you　had　been　born　with　his
villanous　low　forehead　and　poisoned　instincts；　and　bred　among
creatures　of　the　Races　Maudites　whose　natural　history　has　to　be
studied　like　that　of　beasts　of　prey　and　vermin；　you　would　not　have
been　sitting　there　in　your　gold…bowed　spectacles　and　passing　judgment
on　the　peccadilloes　of　your　fellow…creatures。

I　have　seen　men　and　women　so　disinterested　and　noble；　and　devoted　to
the　best　works；　that　it　appeared　to　me　if　any　good　and　faithful
servant　was　entitled　to　enter　into　the　joys　of　his　Lord；　such　as
these　might　be。　　But　I　do　not　know　that　I　ever　met　with　a　human　being
who　seemed　to　me　to　have　a　stronger　claim　on　the　pitying
consideration　and　kindness　of　his　Maker　than　a　wretched；　puny；
crippled；　stunted　child　that　I　saw　in　Newgate；　who　was　pointed　out　as
one　of　the　most　notorious　and　inveterate　little　thieves　in　London。　　I
have　no　doubt　that　some　of　those　who　were　looking　at　this　pitiable
morbid　secretion　of　the　diseased　social　organism　thought　they　were
very　virtuous　for　hating　him　so　heartily。

It　is　natural；　and　in　one　sense　is　all　right　enough。　　I　want　to　catch
a　thief　and　put　the　extinguisher　on　an　incendiary　as　much　as　my
neighbors　do；　but　I　have　two　sides　to　my　consciousness　as　I　have　two
sides　to　my　heart；　one　carrying　dark；　impure　blood；　and　the　other　the
bright　stream　which　has　been　purified　and　vivified　by　the　great
source　of　life　and　death；the　oxygen　of　the　air　which　gives　all
things　their　vital　heat；　and　burns　all　things　at　last　to　ashes。

One　side　of　me　loves　and　hates；　the　other　side　of　me　judges；　say
rather　pleads　and　suspends　judgment。　　I　think；　if　I　were　left　to
myself；　I　should　hang　a　rogue　and　then　write　his　apology　and
subscribe　to　a　neat　monument；　commemorating；　not　his　virtues；　but　his
misfortunes。　　I　should；　perhaps；　adorn　the　marble　with　emblems；　as　is
the　custom　with　regard　to　the　more　regular　and　normally　constituted
members　of　society。　　It　would　not　be　proper　to　put　the　image　of　a
lamb　upon　the　stone　which　marked　the　resting…place　of　him　of　the
private　cemetery。　　But　I　would　not　hesitate　to　place　the　effigy　of　a
wolf　or　a　hyena　upon　the　monument。　　I　do　not　judge　these　animals；　I
only　kill　them　or　shut　them　up。　　I　presume　they　stand　just　as　well
with　their　Maker　as　lambs　and　kids；　and　the　existence　of　such　beings
is　a　perpetual　plea　for　God　Almighty's　poor；　yelling；　scalping
Indians；　his　weasand…stopping　Thugs；　his　despised　felons；　his
murdering　miscreants；　and　all　the　unfortunates　whom　we；　picked
individuals　of　a　picked　class　of　a　picked　race；　scrubbed；　combed；　and
catechized　from　our　cradles　upward；　undertake　to　find　accommodations
for　in　another　state　of　being　where　it　is　to　be　hoped　they　will　have
a　better　chance　than　they　had　in　this。

The　Master　paused；　and　took　off　his　great　round　spectacles。　　I　could
not　help　thinking　that　he　looked　benevolent　enough　to　pardon　Judas
Iscariot　just　at　that　moment；　though　his　features　can　knot　themselves
up　pretty；　formidably　on　occasion。

You　are　somewhat　of　a　phrenologist；　I　judge；　by　the　way　you　talk　of
instinctive　and　inherited　tendenciesI　said。

They　tell　me　I　ought　to　be；he　answered；　parrying　my　question；　as
I　thought。…I　have　had　a　famous　chart　made　out　of　my　cerebral
organs；　according　to　which　I　ought　to　have　beensomething　more　than
a　poor　Magister　Artaum。

I　thought　a　shade　of　regret　deepened　the　lines　on　his　broad；
antique…looking　forehead；　and　I　began　talking　about　all　the　sights　I
had　seen　in　the　way　of　monstrosities；　of　which　I　had　a　considerable
list；　as　you　will　see　when　I　tell　you　my　weakness　in　that　direction。
This；　you　understand；　Beloved；　is　private　and　confidential。

I　pay　my　quarter　of　a　dollar　and　go　into　all　the　side…shows　that
follow　the　caravans　and　circuses　round　the　country。　　I　have　made
friends　of　all　the　giants　and　all　the　dwarfs。　　I　became　acquainted
with　Monsieur　Bihin；　le　plus　bel　homme　du　monde；　and　one　of　the
biggest；　a　great　many　years　ago；　and　have　kept　up　my　agreeable
relations　with　him　ever　since。　　He　is　a　most　interesting　giant；　with
a　softness　of　voice　and　tenderness　of　feeling　which　I　find　very
engaging。　　I　was　on　friendly　terms　with　Mr。　Charles　Freeman；　a　very
superior　giant　of　American　birth；　seven　feet　four；　I　think；　in
height；　〃double…jointed；〃　of　mylodon　muscularity；　the　same　who　in　a
British　prize…ring　tossed　the　Tipton　Slasher　from　one　side　of　the
rope　to　the　other；　and　now　lies　stretched；　poor　fellow！　in　a　mighty
grave　in　the　same　soil　which　holds　the　sacred　ashes　of　Cribb；　and　the
honored　dust　of　Burke；not　the　one　〃commonly　called　the　sublime；〃
but　that　other　Burke　to　whom　Nature　had　denied　the　sense　of　hearing
lest　he　should　be　spoiled　by　listening　to　the　praises　of　the　admiring
circles　which　looked　on　his　dear…bought　triumphs。　　Nor　have　I
despised　those　little　ones　whom　that　devout　worshipper　of　Nature　in
her　exceptional　forms；　the　distinguished　Barnum；　has　introduced　to
the　notice　of　mankind。　　The　General　touches　his　chapeau　to　me；　and
the　Commodore　gives　me　a　sailor's　greeting。　　I　have　had　confidential
interviews　with　the　double…headed　daughter　of　Africa；so　far；　at
least；　as　her　twofold　personality　admitted　of　private　confidences。