05-behavior-第1章
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V
BEHAVIOR
Grace; Beauty; and Caprice
Build this golden portal;
Graceful women; chosen men
Dazzle every mortal:
Their sweet and lofty countenance
His enchanting food;
He need not go to them; their forms
Beset his solitude。
He looketh seldom in their face;
His eyes explore the ground;
The green grass is a looking…glass
Whereon their traits are found。
Little he says to them;
So dances his heart in his breast;
Their tranquil mien bereaveth him
Of wit; of words; of rest。
Too weak to win; too fond to shun
The tyrants of his doom;
The much deceived Endymion
Slips behind a tomb。
_Behavior_
The soul which animates Nature is not less sigshed in the
figure; movement; and gesture of animated bodies; than in its last
vehicle of articulate speech。 This silent and subtile language is
Manners; not _what_; but _how_。 Life expresses。 A statue has no
tongue; and needs none。 Good tableaux do not need declamation。
Nature tells every secret once。 Yes; but in man she tells it all the
time; by form; attitude; gesture; mien; face; and parts of the face;
and by the whole action of the machine。 The visible carriage or
action of the individual; as resulting from his organization and his
will combined; we call manners。 What are they but thought entering
the hands and feet; controlling the movements of the body; the speech
and behavior?
There is always a best way of doing everything; if it be to
boil an egg。 Manners are the happy ways of doing things; each once a
stroke of genius or of love; now repeated and hardened into usage。
They form at last a rich varnish; with which the routine of life is
washed; and its details adorned。 If they are superficial; so are the
dew…drops which give such a depth to the morning meadows。 Manners
are very communicable: men catch them from each other。 Consuelo; in
the romance; boasts of the lessons she had given the nobles in
manners; on the stage; and; in real life; Talma taught Napoleon the
arts of behavior。 Genius invents fine manners; which the baron and
the baroness copy very fast; and; by the advantage of a palace;
better the instruction。 They stereotype the lesson they have learned
into a mode。
The power of manners is incessant; an element as
unconcealable as fire。 The nobility cannot in any country be
disguised; and no more in a republic or a democracy; than in a
kingdom。 No man can resist their influence。 There are certain
manners which are learned in good society; of that force; that; if a
person have them; he or she must be considered; and is everywhere
welcome; though without beauty; or wealth; or genius。 Give a boy
address and accomplishments; and you give him the mastery of palaces
and fortunes where he goes。 He has not the trouble of earning or
owning them: they solicit him to enter and possess。 We send girls of
a timid; retreating disposition to the boarding…school; to the
riding…school; to the ballroom; or wheresoever they can come into
acquaintance and nearness of leading persons of their own sex; where
they might learn address; and see it near at hand。 The power of a
woman of fashion to lead; and also to daunt and repel; derives from
their belief that she knows resources and behaviors not known to
them; but when these have mastered her secret; they learn to confront
her; and recover their self…possession。
Every day bears witness to their gentle rule。 People who would
obtrude; now do not obtrude。 The mediocre circle learns to demand
that which belongs to a high state of nature or of culture。 Your
manners are always under examination; and by committees little
suspected; a police in citizens' clothes; but are awarding or
denying you very high prizes when you least think of it。
We talk much of utilities; but 'tis our manners that
associate us。 In hours of business; we go to him who knows; or has;
or does this or that which we want; and we do not let our taste or
feeling stand in the way。 But this activity over; we return to the
indolent state; and wish for those we can be at ease with; those who
will go where we go; whose manners do not offend us; whose social
tone chimes with ours。 When we reflect on their persuasive and
cheering force; how they recommend; prepare; and draw people
together; how; in all clubs; manners make the members; how manners
make the fortune of the ambitious youth; that; for the most part; his
manners marry him; and; for the most part; he marries manners; when
we think what keys they are; and to what secrets; what high lessons
and inspiring tokens of character they convey; and what divination is
required in us; for the reading of this fine telegraph; we see what
range the subject has; and what relations to convenience; power; and
beauty。
Their first service is very low; when they are the minor
morals: but 'tis the beginning of civility; to make us; I mean;
endurable to each other。 We prize them for their rough…plastic;
abstergent force; to get people out of the quadruped state; to get
them washed; clothed; and set up on end; to slough their animal husks
and habits; compel them to be clean; overawe their spite and
meanness; teach them to stifle the base; and choose the generous
expression; and make them know how much happier the generous
behaviors are。
Bad behavior the laws cannot reach。 Society is infested with
rude; cynical; restless; and frivolous persons who prey upon the
rest; and whom; a public opinion concentrated into good manners;
forms accepted by the sense of all; can reach: the contradictors
and railers at public and private tables; who are like terriers; who
conceive it the duty of a dog of honor to growl at any passer…by; and
do the honors of the house by barking him out of sight: I have
seen men who neigh like a horse when you contradict them; or say
something which they do not understand: then the overbold; who
make their own invitation to your hearth; the persevering talker; who
gives you his society in large; saturating doses; the pitiers of
themselves; a perilous class; the frivolous Asmodeus; who relies
on you to find him in ropes of sand to twist; the monotones; in
short; every stripe of absurdity; these are social inflictions
which the magistrate cannot cure or defend you from; and which must
be intrusted to the restraining force of custom; and proverbs; and
familiar rules of behavior impressed on young people in their
school…days。
In the hotels on the banks of the Mississippi; they print; or
used to print; among the rules of the house; that 〃no gentleman can
be permitted to come to the public table without his coat;〃 and in
the same country; in the pews of the churches; little placards plead
with the worshipper against the fury of expectoration。 Charles
Dickens self…sacrificingly undertook the reformation of our American
manners in unspeakable particulars。 I think the lesson was not quite
lost; that it held bad manners up; so that the churls could see the
deformity。 Unhappily; the book had its own deformities。 It ought
not to need to print in a reading…room a caution to strangers not to
speak loud; nor to persons who look over fine engravings; that they
should be handled like cobwebs and butterflies' wings; nor to persons
who look at marble statues; that they shall not smite them with
canes。 But; even in the perfect civilization of this city; such
cautions are not quite needless in the Athenaeum and City Library。
Manners are factitious; and grow out of circumstance as well as
out of character。 If you look at the pictures of patricians and of
peasants; of different periods and countries; you will see how well
they match the