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        V

 

        BEHAVIOR

 

        Grace; Beauty; and Caprice

        Build this golden portal;

        Graceful women; chosen men

        Dazzle every mortal:

        Their sweet and lofty countenance

        His enchanting food;

        He need not go to them; their forms

        Beset his solitude。

        He looketh seldom in their face;

        His eyes explore the ground;

        The green grass is a looking…glass

        Whereon their traits are found。

        Little he says to them;

        So dances his heart in his breast;

        Their tranquil mien bereaveth him

        Of wit; of words; of rest。

        Too weak to win; too fond to shun

        The tyrants of his doom;

        The much deceived Endymion

        Slips behind a tomb。



 

        _Behavior_



        The soul which animates Nature is not less sigshed in the

figure; movement; and gesture of animated bodies; than in its last

vehicle of articulate speech。  This silent and subtile language is

Manners; not _what_; but _how_。  Life expresses。  A statue has no

tongue; and needs none。  Good tableaux do not need declamation。

Nature tells every secret once。  Yes; but in man she tells it all the

time; by form; attitude; gesture; mien; face; and parts of the face;

and by the whole action of the machine。  The visible carriage or

action of the individual; as resulting from his organization and his

will combined; we call manners。  What are they but thought entering

the hands and feet; controlling the movements of the body; the speech

and behavior?



        There is always a best way of doing everything; if it be to

boil an egg。  Manners are the happy ways of doing things; each once a

stroke of genius or of love;  now repeated and hardened into usage。

They form at last a rich varnish; with which the routine of life is

washed; and its details adorned。  If they are superficial; so are the

dew…drops which give such a depth to the morning meadows。  Manners

are very communicable: men catch them from each other。  Consuelo; in

the romance; boasts of the lessons she had given the nobles in

manners; on the stage; and; in real life; Talma taught Napoleon the

arts of behavior。  Genius invents fine manners; which the baron and

the baroness copy very fast; and; by the advantage of a palace;

better the instruction。  They stereotype the lesson they have learned

into a mode。



        The power of manners is incessant;  an element as

unconcealable as fire。  The nobility cannot in any country be

disguised; and no more in a republic or a democracy; than in a

kingdom。  No man can resist their influence。  There are certain

manners which are learned in good society; of that force; that; if a

person have them; he or she must be considered; and is everywhere

welcome; though without beauty; or wealth; or genius。  Give a boy

address and accomplishments; and you give him the mastery of palaces

and fortunes where he goes。  He has not the trouble of earning or

owning them: they solicit him to enter and possess。  We send girls of

a timid; retreating disposition to the boarding…school; to the

riding…school; to the ballroom; or wheresoever they can come into

acquaintance and nearness of leading persons of their own sex; where

they might learn address; and see it near at hand。  The power of a

woman of fashion to lead; and also to daunt and repel; derives from

their belief that she knows resources and behaviors not known to

them; but when these have mastered her secret; they learn to confront

her; and recover their self…possession。



        Every day bears witness to their gentle rule。  People who would

obtrude; now do not obtrude。  The mediocre circle learns to demand

that which belongs to a high state of nature or of culture。  Your

manners are always under examination; and by committees little

suspected;  a police in citizens' clothes;  but are awarding or

denying you very high prizes when you least think of it。



        We talk much of utilities;  but 'tis our manners that

associate us。  In hours of business; we go to him who knows; or has;

or does this or that which we want; and we do not let our taste or

feeling stand in the way。  But this activity over; we return to the

indolent state; and wish for those we can be at ease with; those who

will go where we go; whose manners do not offend us; whose social

tone chimes with ours。  When we reflect on their persuasive and

cheering force; how they recommend; prepare; and draw people

together; how; in all clubs; manners make the members; how manners

make the fortune of the ambitious youth; that; for the most part; his

manners marry him; and; for the most part; he marries manners; when

we think what keys they are; and to what secrets; what high lessons

and inspiring tokens of character they convey; and what divination is

required in us; for the reading of this fine telegraph; we see what

range the subject has; and what relations to convenience; power; and

beauty。



        Their first service is very low;  when they are the minor

morals: but 'tis the beginning of civility;  to make us; I mean;

endurable to each other。  We prize them for their rough…plastic;

abstergent force; to get people out of the quadruped state; to get

them washed; clothed; and set up on end; to slough their animal husks

and habits; compel them to be clean; overawe their spite and

meanness; teach them to stifle the base; and choose the generous

expression; and make them know how much happier the generous

behaviors are。



        Bad behavior the laws cannot reach。  Society is infested with

rude; cynical; restless; and frivolous persons who prey upon the

rest; and whom; a public opinion concentrated into good manners;

forms accepted by the sense of all; can reach:  the contradictors

and railers at public and private tables; who are like terriers; who

conceive it the duty of a dog of honor to growl at any passer…by; and

do the honors of the house by barking him out of sight:  I have

seen men who neigh like a horse when you contradict them; or say

something which they do not understand:  then the overbold; who

make their own invitation to your hearth; the persevering talker; who

gives you his society in large; saturating doses; the pitiers of

themselves;  a perilous class; the frivolous Asmodeus; who relies

on you to find him in ropes of sand to twist; the monotones; in

short; every stripe of absurdity;  these are social inflictions

which the magistrate cannot cure or defend you from; and which must

be intrusted to the restraining force of custom; and proverbs; and

familiar rules of behavior impressed on young people in their

school…days。



        In the hotels on the banks of the Mississippi; they print; or

used to print; among the rules of the house; that 〃no gentleman can

be permitted to come to the public table without his coat;〃 and in

the same country; in the pews of the churches; little placards plead

with the worshipper against the fury of expectoration。  Charles

Dickens self…sacrificingly undertook the reformation of our American

manners in unspeakable particulars。  I think the lesson was not quite

lost; that it held bad manners up; so that the churls could see the

deformity。  Unhappily; the book had its own deformities。  It ought

not to need to print in a reading…room a caution to strangers not to

speak loud; nor to persons who look over fine engravings; that they

should be handled like cobwebs and butterflies' wings; nor to persons

who look at marble statues; that they shall not smite them with

canes。  But; even in the perfect civilization of this city; such

cautions are not quite needless in the Athenaeum and City Library。



        Manners are factitious; and grow out of circumstance as well as

out of character。  If you look at the pictures of patricians and of

peasants; of different periods and countries; you will see how well

they match the 

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