mudfog+-第20章
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supernumeraries in the pantomime of life; the men who have been
thrust into it; with no other view than to be constantly tumbling
over each other; and running their heads against all sorts of
strange things。 We sat opposite to one of these men at a supper…
table; only last week。 Now we think of it; he was exactly like the
gentlemen with the pasteboard heads and faces; who do the
corresponding business in the theatrical pantomimes; there was the
same broad stolid simper … the same dull leaden eye … the same
unmeaning; vacant stare; and whatever was said; or whatever was
done; he always came in at precisely the wrong place; or jostled
against something that he had not the slightest business with。 We
looked at the man across the table again and again; and could not
satisfy ourselves what race of beings to class him with。 How very
odd that this never occurred to us before!
We will frankly own that we have been much troubled with the
harlequin。 We see harlequins of so many kinds in the real living
pantomime; that we hardly know which to select as the proper fellow
of him of the theatres。 At one time we were disposed to think that
the harlequin was neither more nor less than a young man of family
and independent property; who had run away with an opera…dancer;
and was fooling his life and his means away in light and trivial
amusements。 On reflection; however; we remembered that harlequins
are occasionally guilty of witty; and even clever acts; and we are
rather disposed to acquit our young men of family and independent
property; generally speaking; of any such misdemeanours。 On a more
mature consideration of the subject; we have arrived at the
conclusion that the harlequins of life are just ordinary men; to be
found in no particular walk or degree; on whom a certain station;
or particular conjunction of circumstances; confers the magic wand。
And this brings us to a few words on the pantomime of public and
political life; which we shall say at once; and then conclude …
merely premising in this place that we decline any reference
whatever to the columbine; being in no wise satisfied of the nature
of her connection with her parti…coloured lover; and not feeling by
any means clear that we should be justified in introducing her to
the virtuous and respectable ladies who peruse our lucubrations。
We take it that the commencement of a Session of Parliament is
neither more nor less than the drawing up of the curtain for a
grand comic pantomime; and that his Majesty's most gracious speech
on the opening thereof may be not inaptly compared to the clown's
opening speech of 'Here we are!' 'My lords and gentlemen; here we
are!' appears; to our mind at least; to be a very good abstract of
the point and meaning of the propitiatory address of the ministry。
When we remember how frequently this speech is made; immediately
after THE CHANGE too; the parallel is quite perfect; and still more
singular。
Perhaps the cast of our political pantomime never was richer than
at this day。 We are particularly strong in clowns。 At no former
time; we should say; have we had such astonishing tumblers; or
performers so ready to go through the whole of their feats for the
amusement of an admiring throng。 Their extreme readiness to
exhibit; indeed; has given rise to some ill…natured reflections; it
having been objected that by exhibiting gratuitously through the
country when the theatre is closed; they reduce themselves to the
level of mountebanks; and thereby tend to degrade the
respectability of the profession。 Certainly Grimaldi never did
this sort of thing; and though Brown; King; and Gibson have gone to
the Surrey in vacation time; and Mr。 C。 J。 Smith has ruralised at
Sadler's Wells; we find no theatrical precedent for a general
tumbling through the country; except in the gentleman; name
unknown; who threw summersets on behalf of the late Mr。 Richardson;
and who is no authority either; because he had never been on the
regular boards。
But; laying aside this question; which after all is a mere matter
of taste; we may reflect with pride and gratification of heart on
the proficiency of our clowns as exhibited in the season。 Night
after night will they twist and tumble about; till two; three; and
four o'clock in the morning; playing the strangest antics; and
giving each other the funniest slaps on the face that can possibly
be imagined; without evincing the smallest tokens of fatigue。 The
strange noises; the confusion; the shouting and roaring; amid which
all this is done; too; would put to shame the most turbulent
sixpenny gallery that ever yelled through a boxing…night。
It is especially curious to behold one of these clowns compelled to
go through the most surprising contortions by the irresistible
influence of the wand of office; which his leader or harlequin
holds above his head。 Acted upon by this wonderful charm he will
become perfectly motionless; moving neither hand; foot; nor finger;
and will even lose the faculty of speech at an instant's notice; or
on the other hand; he will become all life and animation if
required; pouring forth a torrent of words without sense or
meaning; throwing himself into the wildest and most fantastic
contortions; and even grovelling on the earth and licking up the
dust。 These exhibitions are more curious than pleasing; indeed;
they are rather disgusting than otherwise; except to the admirers
of such things; with whom we confess we have no fellow…feeling。
Strange tricks … very strange tricks … are also performed by the
harlequin who holds for the time being the magic wand which we have
just mentioned。 The mere waving it before a man's eyes will
dispossess his brains of all the notions previously stored there;
and fill it with an entirely new set of ideas; one gentle tap on
the back will alter the colour of a man's coat completely; and
there are some expert performers; who; having this wand held first
on one side and then on the other; will change from side to side;
turning their coats at every evolution; with so much rapidity and
dexterity; that the quickest eye can scarcely detect their motions。
Occasionally; the genius who confers the wand; wrests it from the
hand of the temporary possessor; and consigns it to some new
performer; on which occasions all the characters change sides; and
then the race and the hard knocks begin anew。
We might have extended this chapter to a much greater length … we
might have carried the comparison into the liberal professions … we
might have shown; as was in fact our original purpose; that each is
in itself a little pantomime with scenes and characters of its own;
complete; but; as we fear we have been quite lengthy enough
already; we shall leave this chapter just where it is。 A
gentleman; not altogether unknown as a dramatic poet; wrote thus a
year or two ago …
'All the world's a stage;
And all the men and women merely players:'
and we; tracking out his footsteps at the scarcely…worth…mentioning
little distance of a few millions of leagues behind; venture to
add; by way of new reading; that he meant a Pantomime; and that we
are all actors in The Pantomime of Life。
SOME PARTICULARS CONCERNING A LION
We have a great respect for lions in the abstract。 In common with
most other people; we have heard and read of many instances of
their bravery and generosity。 We have duly admired that heroic
self…denial and charming philanthropy which prompts them never to
eat people except when they are hungry; and we have been deeply
impressed with a becoming sense of the politeness they are said to
display towards unmarried ladies of a certain state。 All natural
histories teem with anecdotes illustrative of their excellent
qualities; and one old spelling…book in particular recounts a
touching instance of an old lion; of high moral dignity and stern
principle; who felt i