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mudfog+-第20章

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supernumeraries in the pantomime of life; the men who have been

thrust into it; with no other view than to be constantly tumbling

over each other; and running their heads against all sorts of

strange things。  We sat opposite to one of these men at a supper…

table; only last week。  Now we think of it; he was exactly like the

gentlemen with the pasteboard heads and faces; who do the

corresponding business in the theatrical pantomimes; there was the

same broad stolid simper … the same dull leaden eye … the same

unmeaning; vacant stare; and whatever was said; or whatever was

done; he always came in at precisely the wrong place; or jostled

against something that he had not the slightest business with。  We

looked at the man across the table again and again; and could not

satisfy ourselves what race of beings to class him with。  How very

odd that this never occurred to us before!



We will frankly own that we have been much troubled with the

harlequin。  We see harlequins of so many kinds in the real living

pantomime; that we hardly know which to select as the proper fellow

of him of the theatres。  At one time we were disposed to think that

the harlequin was neither more nor less than a young man of family

and independent property; who had run away with an opera…dancer;

and was fooling his life and his means away in light and trivial

amusements。  On reflection; however; we remembered that harlequins

are occasionally guilty of witty; and even clever acts; and we are

rather disposed to acquit our young men of family and independent

property; generally speaking; of any such misdemeanours。  On a more

mature consideration of the subject; we have arrived at the

conclusion that the harlequins of life are just ordinary men; to be

found in no particular walk or degree; on whom a certain station;

or particular conjunction of circumstances; confers the magic wand。

And this brings us to a few words on the pantomime of public and

political life; which we shall say at once; and then conclude …

merely premising in this place that we decline any reference

whatever to the columbine; being in no wise satisfied of the nature

of her connection with her parti…coloured lover; and not feeling by

any means clear that we should be justified in introducing her to

the virtuous and respectable ladies who peruse our lucubrations。



We take it that the commencement of a Session of Parliament is

neither more nor less than the drawing up of the curtain for a

grand comic pantomime; and that his Majesty's most gracious speech

on the opening thereof may be not inaptly compared to the clown's

opening speech of 'Here we are!'  'My lords and gentlemen; here we

are!' appears; to our mind at least; to be a very good abstract of

the point and meaning of the propitiatory address of the ministry。

When we remember how frequently this speech is made; immediately

after THE CHANGE too; the parallel is quite perfect; and still more

singular。



Perhaps the cast of our political pantomime never was richer than

at this day。  We are particularly strong in clowns。  At no former

time; we should say; have we had such astonishing tumblers; or

performers so ready to go through the whole of their feats for the

amusement of an admiring throng。  Their extreme readiness to

exhibit; indeed; has given rise to some ill…natured reflections; it

having been objected that by exhibiting gratuitously through the

country when the theatre is closed; they reduce themselves to the

level of mountebanks; and thereby tend to degrade the

respectability of the profession。  Certainly Grimaldi never did

this sort of thing; and though Brown; King; and Gibson have gone to

the Surrey in vacation time; and Mr。 C。 J。 Smith has ruralised at

Sadler's Wells; we find no theatrical precedent for a general

tumbling through the country; except in the gentleman; name

unknown; who threw summersets on behalf of the late Mr。 Richardson;

and who is no authority either; because he had never been on the

regular boards。



But; laying aside this question; which after all is a mere matter

of taste; we may reflect with pride and gratification of heart on

the proficiency of our clowns as exhibited in the season。  Night

after night will they twist and tumble about; till two; three; and

four o'clock in the morning; playing the strangest antics; and

giving each other the funniest slaps on the face that can possibly

be imagined; without evincing the smallest tokens of fatigue。  The

strange noises; the confusion; the shouting and roaring; amid which

all this is done; too; would put to shame the most turbulent

sixpenny gallery that ever yelled through a boxing…night。



It is especially curious to behold one of these clowns compelled to

go through the most surprising contortions by the irresistible

influence of the wand of office; which his leader or harlequin

holds above his head。  Acted upon by this wonderful charm he will

become perfectly motionless; moving neither hand; foot; nor finger;

and will even lose the faculty of speech at an instant's notice; or

on the other hand; he will become all life and animation if

required; pouring forth a torrent of words without sense or

meaning; throwing himself into the wildest and most fantastic

contortions; and even grovelling on the earth and licking up the

dust。  These exhibitions are more curious than pleasing; indeed;

they are rather disgusting than otherwise; except to the admirers

of such things; with whom we confess we have no fellow…feeling。



Strange tricks … very strange tricks … are also performed by the

harlequin who holds for the time being the magic wand which we have

just mentioned。  The mere waving it before a man's eyes will

dispossess his brains of all the notions previously stored there;

and fill it with an entirely new set of ideas; one gentle tap on

the back will alter the colour of a man's coat completely; and

there are some expert performers; who; having this wand held first

on one side and then on the other; will change from side to side;

turning their coats at every evolution; with so much rapidity and

dexterity; that the quickest eye can scarcely detect their motions。

Occasionally; the genius who confers the wand; wrests it from the

hand of the temporary possessor; and consigns it to some new

performer; on which occasions all the characters change sides; and

then the race and the hard knocks begin anew。



We might have extended this chapter to a much greater length … we

might have carried the comparison into the liberal professions … we

might have shown; as was in fact our original purpose; that each is

in itself a little pantomime with scenes and characters of its own;

complete; but; as we fear we have been quite lengthy enough

already; we shall leave this chapter just where it is。  A

gentleman; not altogether unknown as a dramatic poet; wrote thus a

year or two ago …





'All the world's a stage;

And all the men and women merely players:'





and we; tracking out his footsteps at the scarcely…worth…mentioning

little distance of a few millions of leagues behind; venture to

add; by way of new reading; that he meant a Pantomime; and that we

are all actors in The Pantomime of Life。







SOME PARTICULARS CONCERNING A LION







We have a great respect for lions in the abstract。  In common with

most other people; we have heard and read of many instances of

their bravery and generosity。  We have duly admired that heroic

self…denial and charming philanthropy which prompts them never to

eat people except when they are hungry; and we have been deeply

impressed with a becoming sense of the politeness they are said to

display towards unmarried ladies of a certain state。  All natural

histories teem with anecdotes illustrative of their excellent

qualities; and one old spelling…book in particular recounts a

touching instance of an old lion; of high moral dignity and stern

principle; who felt i

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