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第2章

mudfog+-第2章

小说: mudfog+ 字数: 每页4000字

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Nicholas Tulrumble just then; and Nicholas Tulrumble being a very

important man; they elected him; and wrote off to London by the

very next post to acquaint Nicholas Tulrumble with his new

elevation。



Now; it being November time; and Mr。 Nicholas Tulrumble being in

the capital; it fell out that he was present at the Lord Mayor's

show and dinner; at sight of the glory and splendour whereof; he;

Mr。 Tulrumble; was greatly mortified; inasmuch as the reflection

would force itself on his mind; that; had he been born in London

instead of in Mudfog; he might have been a Lord Mayor too; and have

patronized the judges; and been affable to the Lord Chancellor; and

friendly with the Premier; and coldly condescending to the

Secretary to the Treasury; and have dined with a flag behind his

back; and done a great many other acts and deeds which unto Lord

Mayors of London peculiarly appertain。  The more he thought of the

Lord Mayor; the more enviable a personage he seemed。  To be a King

was all very well; but what was the King to the Lord Mayor!  When

the King made a speech; everybody knew it was somebody else's

writing; whereas here was the Lord Mayor; talking away for half an

hour…all out of his own head … amidst the enthusiastic applause of

the whole company; while it was notorious that the King might talk

to his parliament till he was black in the face without getting so

much as a single cheer。  As all these reflections passed through

the mind of Mr。 Nicholas Tulrumble; the Lord Mayor of London

appeared to him the greatest sovereign on the face of the earth;

beating the Emperor of Russia all to nothing; and leaving the Great

Mogul immeasurably behind。



Mr。 Nicholas Tulrumble was pondering over these things; and

inwardly cursing the fate which had pitched his coal…shed in

Mudfog; when the letter of the corporation was put into his hand。

A crimson flush mantled over his face as he read it; for visions of

brightness were already dancing before his imagination。



'My dear;' said Mr。 Tulrumble to his wife; 'they have elected me;

Mayor of Mudfog。'



'Lor…a…mussy!' said Mrs。 Tulrumble:  'why what's become of old

Sniggs?'



'The late Mr。 Sniggs; Mrs。 Tulrumble;' said Mr。 Tulrumble sharply;

for he by no means approved of the notion of unceremoniously

designating a gentleman who filled the high office of Mayor; as

'Old Sniggs;' … 'The late Mr。 Sniggs; Mrs。 Tulrumble; is dead。'



The communication was very unexpected; but Mrs。 Tulrumble only

ejaculated 'Lor…a…mussy!' once again; as if a Mayor were a mere

ordinary Christian; at which Mr。 Tulrumble frowned gloomily。



'What a pity 'tan't in London; ain't it?' said Mrs。 Tulrumble;

after a short pause; 'what a pity 'tan't in London; where you might

have had a show。'



'I MIGHT have a show in Mudfog; if I thought proper; I apprehend;'

said Mr。 Tulrumble mysteriously。



'Lor! so you might; I declare;' replied Mrs。 Tulrumble。



'And a good one too;' said Mr。 Tulrumble。



'Delightful!' exclaimed Mrs。 Tulrumble。



'One which would rather astonish the ignorant people down there;'

said Mr。 Tulrumble。



'It would kill them with envy;' said Mrs。 Tulrumble。



So it was agreed that his Majesty's lieges in Mudfog should be

astonished with splendour; and slaughtered with envy; and that such

a show should take place as had never been seen in that town; or in

any other town before; … no; not even in London itself。



On the very next day after the receipt of the letter; down came the

tall postilion in a post…chaise; … not upon one of the horses; but

inside … actually inside the chaise; … and; driving up to the very

door of the town…hall; where the corporation were assembled;

delivered a letter; written by the Lord knows who; and signed by

Nicholas Tulrumble; in which Nicholas said; all through four sides

of closely…written; gilt…edged; hot…pressed; Bath post letter

paper; that he responded to the call of his fellow…townsmen with

feelings of heartfelt delight; that he accepted the arduous office

which their confidence had imposed upon him; that they would never

find him shrinking from the discharge of his duty; that he would

endeavour to execute his functions with all that dignity which

their magnitude and importance demanded; and a great deal more to

the same effect。  But even this was not all。  The tall postilion

produced from his right…hand top…boot; a damp copy of that

afternoon's number of the county paper; and there; in large type;

running the whole length of the very first column; was a long

address from Nicholas Tulrumble to the inhabitants of Mudfog; in

which he said that he cheerfully complied with their requisition;

and; in short; as if to prevent any mistake about the matter; told

them over again what a grand fellow he meant to be; in very much

the same terms as those in which he had already told them all about

the matter in his letter。



The corporation stared at one another very hard at all this; and

then looked as if for explanation to the tall postilion; but as the



*** Quick tidied and spell…checked to here … page 501 ***



tall postilion was intently contemplating the gold tassel on the

top of his yellow cap; and could have afforded no explanation

whatever; even if his thoughts had been entirely disengaged; they

contented themselves with coughing very dubiously; and looking very

grave。  The tall postilion then delivered another letter; in which

Nicholas Tulrumble informed the corporation; that he intended

repairing to the town…hall; in grand state and gorgeous procession;

on the Monday afternoon next ensuing。  At this the corporation

looked still more solemn; but; as the epistle wound up with a

formal invitation to the whole body to dine with the Mayor on that

day; at Mudfog Hall; Mudfog Hill; Mudfog; they began to see the fun

of the thing directly; and sent back their compliments; and they'd

be sure to come。



Now there happened to be in Mudfog; as somehow or other there does

happen to be; in almost every town in the British dominions; and

perhaps in foreign dominions too … we think it very likely; but;

being no great traveller; cannot distinctly say … there happened to

be; in Mudfog; a merry…tempered; pleasant…faced; good…for…nothing

sort of vagabond; with an invincible dislike to manual labour; and

an unconquerable attachment to strong beer and spirits; whom

everybody knew; and nobody; except his wife; took the trouble to

quarrel with; who inherited from his ancestors the appellation of

Edward Twigger; and rejoiced in the SOBRIQUET of Bottle…nosed Ned。

He was drunk upon the average once a day; and penitent upon an

equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent; he

was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication。  He

was a ragged; roving; roaring kind of fellow; with a burly form; a

sharp wit; and a ready head; and could turn his hand to anything

when he chose to do it。  He was by no means opposed to hard labour

on principle; for he would work away at a cricket…match by the day

together; … running; and catching; and batting; and bowling; and

revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley…slave。  He would

have been invaluable to a fire…office; never was a man with such a

natural taste for pumping engines; running up ladders; and throwing

furniture out of two…pair…of…stairs' windows:  nor was this the

only element in which he was at home; he was a humane society in

himself; a portable drag; an animated life…preserver; and had saved

more people; in his time; from drowning; than the Plymouth life…

boat; or Captain Manby's apparatus。  With all these qualifications;

notwithstanding his dissipation; Bottle…nosed Ned was a general

favourite; and the authorities of Mudfog; remembering his numerous

services to the population; allowed him in return to get drunk in

his own way; without the fear of stocks; fine; or imprisonment。  He

had a general licence; and he showed his s

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