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第19章

mudfog+-第19章

小说: mudfog+ 字数: 每页4000字

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the west end of the town on a sunshiny day or a summer's evening;

going through the last…named pantomimic feats with as much

liquorish energy; and as total an absence of reserve; as if they

were on the very stage itself?  We can tell upon our fingers a

dozen pantaloons of our acquaintance at this moment … capital

pantaloons; who have been performing all kinds of strange freaks;

to the great amusement of their friends and acquaintance; for years

past; and who to this day are making such comical and ineffectual

attempts to be young and dissolute; that all beholders are like to

die with laughter。



Take that old gentleman who has just emerged from the CAFE DE

L'EUROPE in the Haymarket; where he has been dining at the expense

of the young man upon town with whom he shakes hands as they part

at the door of the tavern。  The affected warmth of that shake of

the hand; the courteous nod; the obvious recollection of the

dinner; the savoury flavour of which still hangs upon his lips; are

all characteristics of his great prototype。  He hobbles away

humming an opera tune; and twirling his cane to and fro; with

affected carelessness。  Suddenly he stops … 'tis at the milliner's

window。  He peeps through one of the large panes of glass; and; his

view of the ladies within being obstructed by the India shawls;

directs his attentions to the young girl with the band…box in her

hand; who is gazing in at the window also。  See! he draws beside

her。  He coughs; she turns away from him。  He draws near her again;

she disregards him。  He gleefully chucks her under the chin; and;

retreating a few steps; nods and beckons with fantastic grimaces;

while the girl bestows a contemptuous and supercilious look upon

his wrinkled visage。  She turns away with a flounce; and the old

gentleman trots after her with a toothless chuckle。 The pantaloon

to the life!



 But the close resemblance which the clowns of the stage bear to

those of every…day life is perfectly extraordinary。  Some people

talk with a sigh of the decline of pantomime; and murmur in low and

dismal tones the name of Grimaldi。  We mean no disparagement to the

worthy and excellent old man when we say that this is downright

nonsense。  Clowns that beat Grimaldi all to nothing turn up every

day; and nobody patronizes them … more's the pity!



'I know who you mean;' says some dirty…faced patron of Mr。

Osbaldistone's; laying down the Miscellany when he has got thus

far; and bestowing upon vacancy a most knowing glance; 'you mean C。

J。 Smith as did Guy Fawkes; and George Barnwell at the Garden。'

The dirty…faced gentleman has hardly uttered the words; when he is

interrupted by a young gentleman in no shirt…collar and a Petersham

coat。  'No; no;' says the young gentleman; 'he means Brown; King;

and Gibson; at the 'Delphi。'  Now; with great deference both to the

first…named gentleman with the dirty face; and the last…named

gentleman in the non…existing shirt…collar; we do NOT mean either

the performer who so grotesquely burlesqued the Popish conspirator;

or the three unchangeables who have been dancing the same dance

under different imposing titles; and doing the same thing under

various high…sounding names for some five or six years last past。

We have no sooner made this avowal; than the public; who have

hitherto been silent witnesses of the dispute; inquire what on

earth it is we DO mean; and; with becoming respect; we proceed to

tell them。



It is very well known to all playgoers and pantomime…seers; that

the scenes in which a theatrical clown is at the very height of his

glory are those which are described in the play…bills as

'Cheesemonger's shop and Crockery warehouse;' or 'Tailor's shop;

and Mrs。 Queertable's boarding…house;' or places bearing some such

title; where the great fun of the thing consists in the hero's

taking lodgings which he has not the slightest intention of paying

for; or obtaining goods under false pretences; or abstracting the

stock…in…trade of the respectable shopkeeper next door; or robbing

warehouse porters as they pass under his window; or; to shorten the

catalogue; in his swindling everybody he possibly can; it only

remaining to be observed that; the more extensive the swindling is;

and the more barefaced the impudence of the swindler; the greater

the rapture and ecstasy of the audience。  Now it is a most

remarkable fact that precisely this sort of thing occurs in real

life day after day; and nobody sees the humour of it。  Let us

illustrate our position by detailing the plot of this portion of

the pantomime … not of the theatre; but of life。



The Honourable Captain Fitz…Whisker Fiercy; attended by his livery

servant Do'em … a most respectable servant to look at; who has

grown grey in the service of the captain's family … views; treats

for; and ultimately obtains possession of; the unfurnished house;

such a number; such a street。  All the tradesmen in the

neighbourhood are in agonies of competition for the captain's

custom; the captain is a good…natured; kind…hearted; easy man; and;

to avoid being the cause of disappointment to any; he most

handsomely gives orders to all。  Hampers of wine; baskets of

provisions; cart…loads of furniture; boxes of jewellery; supplies

of luxuries of the costliest description; flock to the house of the

Honourable Captain Fitz…Whisker Fiercy; where they are received

with the utmost readiness by the highly respectable Do'em; while

the captain himself struts and swaggers about with that compound

air of conscious superiority and general blood…thirstiness which a

military captain should always; and does most times; wear; to the

admiration and terror of plebeian men。  But the tradesmen's backs

are no sooner turned; than the captain; with all the eccentricity

of a mighty mind; and assisted by the faithful Do'em; whose devoted

fidelity is not the least touching part of his character; disposes

of everything to great advantage; for; although the articles fetch

small sums; still they are sold considerably above cost price; the

cost to the captain having been nothing at all。  After various

manoeuvres; the imposture is discovered; Fitz…Fiercy and Do'em are

recognized as confederates; and the police office to which they are

both taken is thronged with their dupes。



Who can fail to recognize in this; the exact counterpart of the

best portion of a theatrical pantomime … Fitz…Whisker Fiercy by the

clown; Do'em by the pantaloon; and supernumeraries by the

tradesmen?  The best of the joke; too; is; that the very coal…

merchant who is loudest in his complaints against the person who

defrauded him; is the identical man who sat in the centre of the

very front row of the pit last night and laughed the most

boisterously at this very same thing; … and not so well done

either。  Talk of Grimaldi; we say again!  Did Grimaldi; in his best

days; ever do anything in this way equal to Da Costa?



The mention of this latter justly celebrated clown reminds us of

his last piece of humour; the fraudulently obtaining certain

stamped acceptances from a young gentleman in the army。  We had

scarcely laid down our pen to contemplate for a few moments this

admirable actor's performance of that exquisite practical joke;

than a new branch of our subject flashed suddenly upon us。  So we

take it up again at once。



All people who have been behind the scenes; and most people who

have been before them; know; that in the representation of a

pantomime; a good many men are sent upon the stage for the express

purpose of being cheated; or knocked down; or both。  Now; down to a

moment ago; we had never been able to understand for what possible

purpose a great number of odd; lazy; large…headed men; whom one is

in the habit of meeting here; and there; and everywhere; could ever

have been created。  We see it all; now。  They are the

supernumeraries in the pantomime of life; the men who have been

thrust into it; with no other view

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