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第14章

mudfog+-第14章

小说: mudfog+ 字数: 每页4000字

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'BLACK BOY AND STOMACH…ACHE; OLDCASTLE; SATURDAY NOON。



'You will be happy to learn that I have at length arrived here in

safety。  The town is excessively crowded; and all the private

lodgings and hotels are filled with SAVANS of both sexes。  The

tremendous assemblage of intellect that one encounters in every

street is in the last degree overwhelming。



'Notwithstanding the throng of people here; I have been fortunate

enough to meet with very comfortable accommodation on very

reasonable terms; having secured a sofa in the first…floor passage

at one guinea per night; which includes permission to take my meals

in the bar; on condition that I walk about the streets at all other

times; to make room for other gentlemen similarly situated。  I have

been over the outhouses intended to be devoted to the reception of

the various sections; both here and at the Boot…jack and

Countenance; and am much delighted with the arrangements。  Nothing

can exceed the fresh appearance of the saw…dust with which the

floors are sprinkled。  The forms are of unplaned deal; and the

general effect; as you can well imagine; is extremely beautiful。'



'HALF…PAST NINE。



'The number and rapidity of the arrivals are quite bewildering。

Within the last ten minutes a stage…coach has driven up to the

door; filled inside and out with distinguished characters;

comprising Mr。 Muddlebranes; Mr。 Drawley; Professor Muff; Mr。 X。

Misty; Mr。 X。 X。 Misty; Mr。 Purblind; Professor Rummun; The

Honourable and Reverend Mr。 Long Eers; Professor John Ketch; Sir

William Joltered; Doctor Buffer; Mr。 Smith (of London); Mr。 Brown

(of Edinburgh); Sir Hookham Snivey; and Professor Pumpkinskull。

The ten last…named gentlemen were wet through; and looked extremely

intelligent。'



'SUNDAY; TWO O'CLOCK; P。M。



'The Honourable and Reverend Mr。 Long Eers; accompanied by Sir

William Joltered; walked and drove this morning。  They accomplished

the former feat in boots; and the latter in a hired fly。  This has

naturally given rise to much discussion。



'I have just learnt that an interview has taken place at the Boot…

jack and Countenance between Sowster; the active and intelligent

beadle of this place; and Professor Pumpkinskull; who; as your

readers are doubtless aware; is an influential member of the

council。  I forbear to communicate any of the rumours to which this

very extraordinary proceeding has given rise until I have seen

Sowster; and endeavoured to ascertain the truth from him。'



'HALF…PAST SIX。



'I engaged a donkey…chaise shortly after writing the above; and

proceeded at a brisk trot in the direction of Sowster's residence;

passing through a beautiful expanse of country; with red brick

buildings on either side; and stopping in the marketplace to

observe the spot where Mr。 Kwakley's hat was blown off yesterday。

It is an uneven piece of paving; but has certainly no appearance

which would lead one to suppose that any such event had recently

occurred there。  From this point I proceeded … passing the gas…

works and tallow…melter's … to a lane which had been pointed out to

me as the beadle's place of residence; and before I had driven a

dozen yards further; I had the good fortune to meet Sowster himself

advancing towards me。



'Sowster is a fat man; with a more enlarged development of that

peculiar conformation of countenance which is vulgarly termed a

double chin than I remember to have ever seen before。  He has also

a very red nose; which he attributes to a habit of early rising …

so red; indeed; that but for this explanation I should have

supposed it to proceed from occasional inebriety。  He informed me

that he did not feel himself at liberty to relate what had passed

between himself and Professor Pumpkinskull; but had no objection to

state that it was connected with a matter of police regulation; and

added with peculiar significance 〃Never wos sitch times!〃



'You will easily believe that this intelligence gave me

considerable surprise; not wholly unmixed with anxiety; and that I

lost no time in waiting on Professor Pumpkinskull; and stating the

object of my visit。  After a few moments' reflection; the

Professor; who; I am bound to say; behaved with the utmost

politeness; openly avowed (I mark the passage in italics) THAT HE

HAD REQUESTED SOWSTER TO ATTEND ON THE MONDAY MORNING AT THE BOOT…

JACK AND COUNTENANCE; TO KEEP OFF THE BOYS; AND THAT HE HAD FURTHER

DESIRED THAT THE UNDER…BEADLE MIGHT BE STATIONED; WITH THE SAME

OBJECT; AT THE BLACK BOY AND STOMACH…ACHE!



'Now I leave this unconstitutional proceeding to your comments and

the consideration of your readers。  I have yet to learn that a

beadle; without the precincts of a church; churchyard; or work…

house; and acting otherwise than under the express orders of

churchwardens and overseers in council assembled; to enforce the

law against people who come upon the parish; and other offenders;

has any lawful authority whatever over the rising youth of this

country。  I have yet to learn that a beadle can be called out by

any civilian to exercise a domination and despotism over the boys

of Britain。  I have yet to learn that a beadle will be permitted by

the commissioners of poor law regulation to wear out the soles and

heels of his boots in illegal interference with the liberties of

people not proved poor or otherwise criminal。  I have yet to learn

that a beadle has power to stop up the Queen's highway at his will

and pleasure; or that the whole width of the street is not free and

open to any man; boy; or woman in existence; up to the very walls

of the houses … ay; be they Black Boys and Stomach…aches; or Boot…

jacks and Countenances; I care not。'



'NINE O'CLOCK。



'I have procured a local artist to make a faithful sketch of the

tyrant Sowster; which; as he has acquired this infamous celebrity;

you will no doubt wish to have engraved for the purpose of

presenting a copy with every copy of your next number。  I enclose

it。



'Picture which cannot be reproduced'



The under…beadle has consented to write his life; but it is to be

strictly anonymous。



'The accompanying likeness is of course from the life; and complete

in every respect。  Even if I had been totally ignorant of the man's

real character; and it had been placed before me without remark; I

should have shuddered involuntarily。  There is an intense malignity

of expression in the features; and a baleful ferocity of purpose in

the ruffian's eye; which appals and sickens。  His whole air is

rampant with cruelty; nor is the stomach less characteristic of his

demoniac propensities。'



'MONDAY。



'The great day has at length arrived。  I have neither eyes; nor

ears; nor pens; nor ink; nor paper; for anything but the wonderful

proceedings that have astounded my senses。  Let me collect my

energies and proceed to the account。





'SECTION A。 … ZOOLOGY AND BOTANY。

FRONT PARLOUR; BLACK BOY AND STOMACH…ACHE。





PRESIDENT … Sir William Joltered。  VICE…PRESIDENTS … Mr。

Muddlebranes and Mr。 Drawley。



'MR。 X。 X。 MISTY communicated some remarks on the disappearance of

dancing…bears from the streets of London; with observations on the

exhibition of monkeys as connected with barrel…organs。  The writer

had observed; with feelings of the utmost pain and regret; that

some years ago a sudden and unaccountable change in the public

taste took place with reference to itinerant bears; who; being

discountenanced by the populace; gradually fell off one by one from

the streets of the metropolis; until not one remained to create a

taste for natural history in the breasts of the poor and

uninstructed。  One bear; indeed; … a brown and ragged animal; … had

lingered about the haunts of his former triumphs; with a worn and

dejected visage and feeble limbs; and had essayed to wield his

quarter…staff for the amusement of the multitude; but hunger; and

an utter want of any due recompense fo

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