mudfog+-第1章

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THE　MUDFOG　AND　OTHER　SKETCHES









PUBLIC　LIFE　OF　MR。　TULRUMBLE　…　ONCE　MAYOR　OF　MUDFOG







Mudfog　is　a　pleasant　town　…　a　remarkably　pleasant　town　…　situated

in　a　charming　hollow　by　the　side　of　a　river；　from　which　river；

Mudfog　derives　an　agreeable　scent　of　pitch；　tar；　coals；　and　rope…

yarn；　a　roving　population　in　oilskin　hats；　a　pretty　steady　influx

of　drunken　bargemen；　and　a　great　many　other　maritime　advantages。

There　is　a　good　deal　of　water　about　Mudfog；　and　yet　it　is　not

exactly　the　sort　of　town　for　a　watering…place；　either。　　Water　is　a

perverse　sort　of　element　at　the　best　of　times；　and　in　Mudfog　it　is

particularly　so。　　In　winter；　it　comes　oozing　down　the　streets　and

tumbling　over　the　fields；　…　nay；　rushes　into　the　very　cellars　and

kitchens　of　the　houses；　with　a　lavish　prodigality　that　might　well

be　dispensed　with；　but　in　the　hot　summer　weather　it　WILL　dry　up；

and　turn　green：　　and；　although　green　is　a　very　good　colour　in　its

way；　especially　in　grass；　still　it　certainly　is　not　becoming　to

water；　and　it　cannot　be　denied　that　the　beauty　of　Mudfog　is　rather

impaired；　even　by　this　trifling　circumstance。　　Mudfog　is　a　healthy

place　…　very　healthy；　…　damp；　perhaps；　but　none　the　worse　for　that。

It's　quite　a　mistake　to　suppose　that　damp　is　unwholesome：　　plants

thrive　best　in　damp　situations；　and　why　shouldn't　men？　　The

inhabitants　of　Mudfog　are　unanimous　in　asserting　that　there　exists

not　a　finer　race　of　people　on　the　face　of　the　earth；　here　we　have

an　indisputable　and　veracious　contradiction　of　the　vulgar　error　at

once。　　So；　admitting　Mudfog　to　be　damp；　we　distinctly　state　that　it

is　salubrious。



The　town　of　Mudfog　is　extremely　picturesque。　　Limehouse　and

Ratcliff　Highway　are　both　something　like　it；　but　they　give　you　a

very　faint　idea　of　Mudfog。　　There　are　a　great　many　more　public…

houses　in　Mudfog　…　more　than　in　Ratcliff　Highway　and　Limehouse　put

together。　　The　public　buildings；　too；　are　very　imposing。　　We

consider　the　town…hall　one　of　the　finest　specimens　of　shed

architecture；　extant：　　it　is　a　combination　of　the　pig…sty　and　tea…

garden…box　orders；　and　the　simplicity　of　its　design　is　of

surpassing　beauty。　　The　idea　of　placing　a　large　window　on　one　side

of　the　door；　and　a　small　one　on　the　other；　is　particularly　happy。

There　is　a　fine　old　Doric　beauty；　too；　about　the　padlock　and

scraper；　which　is　strictly　in　keeping　with　the　general　effect。



In　this　room　do　the　mayor　and　corporation　of　Mudfog　assemble

together　in　solemn　council　for　the　public　weal。　　Seated　on　the

massive　wooden　benches；　which；　with　the　table　in　the　centre；　form

the　only　furniture　of　the　whitewashed　apartment；　the　sage　men　of

Mudfog　spend　hour　after　hour　in　grave　deliberation。　　Here　they

settle　at　what　hour　of　the　night　the　public…houses　shall　be　closed；

at　what　hour　of　the　morning　they　shall　be　permitted　to　open；　how

soon　it　shall　be　lawful　for　people　to　eat　their　dinner　on　church…

days；　and　other　great　political　questions；　and　sometimes；　long

after　silence　has　fallen　on　the　town；　and　the　distant　lights　from

the　shops　and　houses　have　ceased　to　twinkle；　like　far…off　stars；　to

the　sight　of　the　boatmen　on　the　river；　the　illumination　in　the　two

unequal…sized　windows　of　the　town…hall；　warns　the　inhabitants　of

Mudfog　that　its　little　body　of　legislators；　like　a　larger　and

better…known　body　of　the　same　genus；　a　great　deal　more　noisy；　and

not　a　whit　more　profound；　are　patriotically　dozing　away　in　company；

far　into　the　night；　for　their　country's　good。



Among　this　knot　of　sage　and　learned　men；　no　one　was　so　eminently

distinguished；　during　many　years；　for　the　quiet　modesty　of　his

appearance　and　demeanour；　as　Nicholas　Tulrumble；　the　well…known

coal…dealer。　　However　exciting　the　subject　of　discussion；　however

animated　the　tone　of　the　debate；　or　however　warm　the　personalities

exchanged；　（and　even　in　Mudfog　we　get　personal　sometimes；）　Nicholas

Tulrumble　was　always　the　same。　　To　say　truth；　Nicholas；　being　an

industrious　man；　and　always　up　betimes；　was　apt　to　fall　asleep　when

a　debate　began；　and　to　remain　asleep　till　it　was　over；　when　he

would　wake　up　very　much　refreshed；　and　give　his　vote　with　the

greatest　complacency。　　The　fact　was；　that　Nicholas　Tulrumble；

knowing　that　everybody　there　had　made　up　his　mind　beforehand；

considered　the　talking　as　just　a　long　botheration　about　nothing　at

all；　and　to　the　present　hour　it　remains　a　question；　whether；　on

this　point　at　all　events；　Nicholas　Tulrumble　was　not　pretty　near

right。



Time；　which　strews　a　man's　head　with　silver；　sometimes　fills　his

pockets　with　gold。　　As　he　gradually　performed　one　good　office　for

Nicholas　Tulrumble；　he　was　obliging　enough；　not　to　omit　the　other。

Nicholas　began　life　in　a　wooden　tenement　of　four　feet　square；　with

a　capital　of　two　and　ninepence；　and　a　stock　in　trade　of　three

bushels　and　a…half　of　coals；　exclusive　of　the　large　lump　which

hung；　by　way　of　sign…board；　outside。　　Then　he　enlarged　the　shed；

and　kept　a　truck；　then　he　left　the　shed；　and　the　truck　too；　and

started　a　donkey　and　a　Mrs。　Tulrumble；　then　he　moved　again　and　set

up　a　cart；　the　cart　was　soon　afterwards　exchanged　for　a　waggon；　and

so　he　went　on　like　his　great　predecessor　Whittington　…　only　without

a　cat　for　a　partner　…　increasing　in　wealth　and　fame；　until　at　last

he　gave　up　business　altogether；　and　retired　with　Mrs。　Tulrumble　and

family　to　Mudfog　Hall；　which　he　had　himself　erected；　on　something

which　he　attempted　to　delude　himself　into　the　belief　was　a　hill；

about　a　quarter　of　a　mile　distant　from　the　town　of　Mudfog。



About　this　time；　it　began　to　be　murmured　in　Mudfog　that　Nicholas

Tulrumble　was　growing　vain　and　haughty；　that　prosperity　and　success

had　corrupted　the　simplicity　of　his　manners；　and　tainted　the

natural　goodness　of　his　heart；　in　short；　that　he　was　setting　up　for

a　public　character；　and　a　great　gentleman；　and　affected　to　look

down　upon　his　old　companions　with　compassion　and　contempt。　　Whether

these　reports　were　at　the　time　well…founded；　or　not；　certain　it　is

that　Mrs。　Tulrumble　very　shortly　afterwards　started　a　four…wheel

chaise；　driven　by　a　tall　postilion　in　a　yellow　cap；　…　that　Mr。

Tulrumble　junior　took　to　smoking　cigars；　and　calling　the　footman　a

'feller；'　…　and　that　Mr。　Tulrumble　from　that　time　forth；　was　no

more　seen　in　his　old　seat　in　the　chimney…corner　of　the　Lighterman's

Arms　at　night。　　This　looked　bad；　but；　more　than　this；　it　began　to

be　observed　that　Mr。　Nicholas　Tulrumble　attended　the　corporation

meetings　more　frequently　than　heretofore；　and　he　no　longer　went　to

sleep　as　he　had　done　for　so　many　years；　but　propped　his　eyelids

open　with　his　two　forefingers；　that　he　read　the　newspapers　by

himself　at　home；　and　that　he　was　in　the　habit　of　indulging　abroad

in　distant　and　mysterious　allusions　to　'masses　of　people；'　and　'the

property　of　the　country；'　and　'productive　power；'　and　'the　monied

interest：'　all　of　which　denoted　and　proved　that　Nicholas　Tulrumble

was　either　mad；　or　worse；　and　it　puzzled　the　good　people　of　Mudfog

amazingly。



At　length；　about　the　middle　of　the　month　of　October；　Mr。　Tulrumble

and　family　went　up　to　London；　the　middle　of　October　being；　as　Mrs。

Tulrumble　informed　her　acquaintance　in　Mudfog；　the　very　height　of

the　fashionable　season。



Somehow　or　other；　just　about　this　time；　despite　the　health…

preserving　air　of　Mudfog；　the　Mayor　died。　　It　was　a　most

extraordinary　circumstance；　he　had　lived　in　Mudfog　for　eighty…five

years。　　The　corporation　didn't　understand　it　at　all；　indeed　it　was

with　great　difficulty　that　one　old　gentleman；　who　was　a　great

stickler　for　forms；　was　dissuaded　from　proposing　a　vote　of　censure

on　such　unaccountable　conduct。　　Strange　as　it　was；　however；　die　he

did；　without　taking　the　slightest　notice　of　the　corporation；　and

the　corporation　were　imperatively　called　upon　to　elect　his

successor。　　So；　they　met　for　the　purpose；　and　being　very　full　of

Nicholas　Tulrumble　just　then；　and　Nicholas　Tulrumble