the commonwealth of oceana-第51章
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be hereafter shown。 Nevertheless; my Lord Epimonus; who with much ado had been held till now; found it midsummer moon; and broke out of bedlam in this manner。
〃MY LORD ARCHON: 〃I have a singing in my head like that of a cart…wheel; my brains are upon a rotation; and some are so merry; that a man cannot speak his griefs; but if your high…shod prerogative; and those same slouching fellows your tribunes; do not take my lord strategus's and my lord orator's heads; and jolt them together under the canopy; then let me be ridiculous to all posterity。 For here is a commonwealth; to which if a man should take that of the 'prentices in their ancient administration of justice at Shrovetide; it were an aristocracy。 You have set the very rabble with truncheons in their hands; and the gentry of this nation; like cocks with scarlet gills; and the golden combs of their salaries to boot; lest they should not be thrown at。 〃Not a night can I sleep for some horrid apparition or other; one while these myrmidons are measuring silks by their quarterstaves; another stuffing their greasy pouches with my lord high treasurer's jacobuses。 For they are above 1;000 in arms to 300; which; their gowns being pulled over their ears; are but in their doublets and hose。 But what do I speak of 1;000? There be 2;000 in every tribe; that is; 100;000 in the whole nation; not only in the posture of an army; but in a civil capacity sufficient to give us what laws they please。 Now everybody knows that the lower sort of people regard nothing but money; and you say it is the duty of a legislator to presume all men to be wicked: wherefore they must fall upon the richer; as they are an army; or; lest their minds should misgive them in such a villany; you have given them encouragement that they have a nearer way; seeing it may be done every whit as well as by the overbalancing power which they have in elections。 There is a fair which is annually kept in the centre of these territories at Kiberton; a town famous for ale; and frequented by good fellows; where there is a solemnity of the pipers and fiddlers of this nation (I know not whether Lacedaemon; where the Senate kept account of the stops of the flutes and of the fiddle…strings of that commonwealth; bad any such custom) called the bull…running; and he that catches and holds the bull; is the annual and supreme magistrate of that comitia or congregation; called king piper; without whose license it is not lawful for any of those citizens to enjoy the liberty of his calling; nor is he otherwise legitimately qualified (or civitate donatus) to lead apes or bears in any perambulation of the same。 Mine host of the Bear; in Kiberton; the father of ale; and patron of good football and cudgel players; has any time since I can remember been grand…chancellor of this order。 〃Now; say I; seeing great things arise from small beginnings; what should hinder the people; prone to their own advantage and loving money; from having intelligence conveyed to them by this same king piper and his chancellor; with their loyal subjects the minstrels and bear…wards; masters of ceremonies; to which there is great recourse in their respective perambulations; and which they will commission and instruct; with directions to all the tribes; willing and commanding them; that as they wish their own good; they choose no other into the next primum mobile but of the ablest cudgel and football players? Which done as soon as said; your primum mobile; consisting of no other stuff; must of necessity be drawn forth into your nebulones and your galimofries; and so the silken purses of your Senate and prerogative being made of sows' ears; most of them blacksmiths; they will strike while the iron is hot; and beat your estates into hob…nails; mine host of the Bear being strategus; and king piper lord orator。 Well; my lords; it might have been otherwise expressed; but this is well enough a…conscience。 In your way; the wit of man shall not prevent this or the like inconvenience; but if this (for I have conferred with artists) be a mathematical demonstration; I could kneel to you; that ere it be too late we might return to some kind of sobriety。 〃If we empty our purses with these pomps; salaries; coaches; lackeys; and pages; what can the people say less than that we have dressed a Senate and a prerogative for nothing but to go to the park with the ladies?〃
My Lord Archon; whose meekness resembled that of Moses; vouchsafed this answer:
〃My LORDS: 〃For all this; I can see my Lord Epimonus every night in the park; and with ladies; nor do I blame this in a young man; or the respect which is and ought to be given to a sex that is one…half of the commonwealth of mankind; and without which the other would be none: but our magistrates; I doubt; may be somewhat of the oldest to perform this part with much acceptation; and; as the Italian proverb says; 'Servire e non gradire e cosa da far morire。' Wherefore we will lay no certain obligation upon them in this point; but leave them; if it please you; to their own fate or discretion。 But this (for I know my Lord Epimonus loves me; though I can never get his esteem) I will say; if he had a mistress should use him so; he would find it a sad life; or I appeal to your lordships; how I can resent it from such a friend; that he puts king piper's politics in the balance with mine。 King piper; I deny not; may teach his bears to dance; but they have the worst ear of all creatures。 Now how he should make them keep time in fifty several tribes; and that two years together; for else it will be to no purpose; may be a small matter with my lord to promise; but it seems to me of impossible performance。 First; through the nature of the bean; and; secondly; through that of the ballot; or how what he has hitherto thought so hard; is now come to be easy; but he may think that for expedition they will eat up these balls like apples。 〃However; there is so much more in their way by the constitution of this; than is to be found in that of any other commonwealth; that I am reconciled; it now appearing plainly that the points of my lord's arrows are directed at no other white than to show the excellency of our government above others; which; as he proceeds further; is yet plainer; while he makes it appear that there can be no other elected by the people but smiths:
〃'Brontesque Steropesque et nudus membra Pyracmon:'
Othoniel; Aod; Gideon; Jephtha; Samson; as in Israel; Miltiades; Aristides; Themistocles; Cimon; Pericles; as in Athens; Papyrius; Cincinnatus; Camillus; Fabius Scipio; as in Rome: smiths of the fortune of the commonwealth; not such as forged hob…nails; but thunderbolts。 Popular elections are of that kind; that all of the rest of the world is not able; either in number or glory; to equal those of these three commonwealths。 These indeed were the ablest cudgel and football players; bright arms were their cudgels; and the world was the ball that lay at their feet。 Wherefore we are not so to understand the maxim of legislators; which holds all men to be wicked; as if it related to mankind or a commonwealth; the interests whereof are the only straight lines they have whereby to reform the crooked; but as it relates to every man or party; under what color soever he or they pretend to be trusted apart; with or by the whole。 Hence then it is derived; which is made good in all experience; that the aristocracy is ravenous; and not the people。 Your highwaymen are not such as have trades; or have been brought up to industry; but such commonly whose education has pretended to that of gentlemen。 My lord is so honest; he does not know the maxims that are of absolute necessity to the arts of wickedness; for it is most certain; if there be not more purses than thieves; that the thieves themselves must be forced to turn honest; because they cannot thrive by their trade; but now if the people should turn thieves; who sees not that there would be more thieves than purses? wherefore that a whole people should turn robbers or levellers; is as impossible in the end as in the means。
〃But that I do not think your artist which you mentioned; whether astronomer or arithmetician; can tell me how many barley…corns would reach to the