the complete writings-4-第17章

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ed　from　the　crevices　of　the　rocks　the　columbine　and　the　eglantine　and　the　blue　harebell；　he　picked　the　high…flavored　alpine　strawberry；　the　blueberry；　the　boxberry；　wild　currants　and　gooseberries；　and　fox…grapes；　he　brought　home　armfuls　of　the　pink…and…white　laurel　and　the　wild　honeysuckle；　he　dug　the　roots　of　the　fragrant　sassafras　and　of　the　sweet…flag；　he　ate　the　tender　leaves　of　the　wintergreen　and　its　red　berries；　he　gathered　the　peppermint　and　the　spearmint；　he　gnawed　the　twigs　of　the　black　birch；　there　was　a　stout　fern　which　he　called　〃brake；〃　which　he　pulled　up；　and　found　that　the　soft　end　〃tasted　good；〃　he　dug　the　amber　gum　from　the　spruce…tree；　and　liked　to　smell；　though　he　could　not　chew；　the　gum　of　the　wild　cherry；　it　was　his　melancholy　duty　to　bring　home　such　medicinal　herbs　for　the　garret　as　the　gold…thread；　the　tansy；　and　the　loathsome　〃boneset；　〃　and　he　laid　in　for　the　winter；　like　a　squirrel；　stores　of　beechnuts；　hazel…nuts；　hickory…nuts；　chestnuts；　and　butternuts。　　But　that　which　lives　most　vividly　in　his　memory　and　most　strongly　draws　him　back　to　the　New　England　hills　is　the　aromatic　sweet…fern；　he　likes　to　eat　its　spicy　seeds；　and　to　crush　in　his　hands　its　fragrant　leaves；　their　odor　is　the　unique　essence　of　New　England。




XVI

JOHN'S　REVIVAL

The　New　England　country…boy　of　the　last　generation　never　heard　of　Christmas。　　There　was　no　such　day　in　his　calendar。　　If　John　ever　came　across　it　in　his　reading；　he　attached　no　meaning　to　the　word。

If　his　curiosity　had　been　aroused；　and　he　had　asked　his　elders　about　it；　he　might　have　got　the　dim　impression　that　it　was　a　kind　of　Popish　holiday；　the　celebration　of　which　was　about　as　wicked　as　〃card…　playing；〃　or　being　a　〃Democrat。〃　　John　knew　a　couple　of　desperately　bad　boys　who　were　reported　to　play　〃seven…up〃　in　a　barn；　on　the　haymow；　and　the　enormity　of　this　practice　made　him　shudder。　　He　had。　once　seen　a　pack　of　greasy　〃playing…cards；〃　and　it　seemed　to　him　to　contain　the　quintessence　of　sin。　　If　he　had　desired　to　defy　all　Divine　law　and　outrage　all　human　society；　he　felt　that　he　could　do　it　by　shuffling　them。　　And　he　was　quite　right。　　The　two　bad　boys　enjoyed　in　stealth　their　scandalous　pastime；　because　they　knew　it　was　the　most　wicked　thing　they　could　do。　　If　it　had　been　as　sinless　as　playing　marbles；　they　would　n't　have　cared　for　it。　　John　sometimes　drove　past　a　brown；　tumble…down　farmhouse；　whose　shiftless　inhabitants；　it　was　said；　were　card…playing　people；　and　it　is　impossible　to　describe　how　wicked　that　house　appeared　to　John。　　He　almost　expected　to　see　its　shingles　stand　on　end。　　In　the　old　New　England　one　could　not　in　any　other　way　so　express　his　contempt　of　all　holy　and　orderly　life　as　by　playing　cards　for　amusement。

There　was　no　element　of　Christmas　in　John's　life；　any　more　than　there　was　of　Easter；　and　probably　nobody　about　him　could　have　explained　Easter；　and　he　escaped　all　the　demoralization　attending　Christmas　gifts。　　Indeed；　he　never　had　any　presents　of　any　kind；　either　on　his　birthday　or　any　other　day。　　He　expected　nothing　that　he　did　not　earn；　or　make　in　the　way　of　〃trade〃　with　another　boy。　　He　was　taught　to　work　for　what　he　received。　　He　even　earned；　as　I　said；　the　extra　holidays　of　the　day　after　the　Fourth　and　the　day　after　Thanksgiving。　Of　the　free　grace　and　gifts　of　Christmas　he　had　no　conception。　　The　single　and　melancholy　association　he　had　with　it　was　the　quaking　hymn　which　his　grandfather　used　to　sing　in　a　cracked　and　quavering　voice：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃While　shepherds　watched　their　flocks　by　night；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　All　seated　on　the　ground。〃

The　〃glory〃　that　〃shone　around〃　at　the　end　of　itthe　doleful　voice　always　repeating；　〃and　glory　shone　around　〃made　John　as　miserable　as　〃Hark！　　from　the　tombs。〃　　It　was　all　one　dreary　expectation　of　something　uncomfortable。　　It　was；　in　short；　〃religion。〃　　You'd　got　to　have　it　some　time；　that　John　believed。　　But　it　lay　in　his　unthinking　mind　to　put　off　the　〃Hark！　　from　the　tombs〃　enjoyment　as　long　as　possible。　　He　experienced　a　kind　of　delightful　wickedness　in　indulging　his　dislike　of　hymns　and　of　Sunday。

John　was　not　a　model　boy；　but　I　cannot　exactly　define　in　what　his　wickedness　consisted。　　He　had　no　inclination　to　steal；　nor　much　to　lie；　and　he　despised　〃meanness〃　and　stinginess；　and　had　a　chivalrous　feeling　toward　little　girls。　　Probably　it　never　occurred　to　him　that　there　was　any　virtue　in　not　stealing　and　lying；　for　honesty　and　veracity　were　in　the　atmosphere　about　him。　　He　hated　work；　and　he　〃got　mad〃　easily；　but　he　did　work；　and　he　was　always　ashamed　when　he　was　over　his　fit　of　passion。　　In　short；　you　couldn't　find　a　much　better　wicked　boy　than　John。

When　the　〃revival〃　came；　therefore；　one　summer；　John　was　in　a　quandary。　　Sunday　meeting　and　Sunday…school　he　did　n't　mind；　they　were　a　part　of　regular　life；　and　only　temporarily　interrupted　a　boy's　pleasures。　　But　when　there　began　to　be　evening　meetings　at　the　different　houses；　a　new　element　came　into　affairs。　　There　was　a　kind　of　solemnity　over　the　community；　and　a　seriousness　in　all　faces。　　At　first　these　twilight　assemblies　offered　a　little　relief　to　the　monotony　of　farm　life；　and　John　liked　to　meet　the　boys　and　girls；　and　to　watch　the　older　people　coming　in；　dressed　in　their　second　best。　　I　think　John's　imagination　was　worked　upon　by　the　sweet　and　mournful　hymns　that　were　discordantly　sung　in　the　stiff　old　parlors。　　There　was　a　suggestion　of　Sunday；　and　sanctity　too；　in　the　odor　of　caraway…　seed　that　pervaded　the　room。　　The　windows　were　wide　open　also；　and　the　scent　of　June　roses　came　in；　with　all　the　languishing　sounds　of　a　summer　night。　　All　the　little　boys　had　a　scared　look；　but　the　little　girls　were　never　so　pretty　and　demure　as　in　this　their　susceptible　seriousness。　　If　John　saw　a　boy　who　did　not　come　to　the　evening　meeting；　but　was　wandering　off　with　his　sling　down　the　meadow；　looking　for　frogs；　maybe；　that　boy　seemed　to　him　a　monster　of　wickedness。

After　a　time；　as　the　meetings　continued；　John　fell　also　under　the　general　impression　of　fright　and　seriousness。　　All　the　talk　was　of　〃getting　religion；〃　and　he　heard　over　and　over　again　that　the　probability　was　if　he　did　not　get　it　now；　he　never　would。　　The　chance　did　not　come　often；　and　if　this　offer　was　not　improved；　John　would　be　given　over　to　hardness　of　heart。　　His　obstinacy　would　show　that　he　was　not　one　of　the　elect。　　John　fancied　that　he　could　feel　his　heart　hardening；　and　he　began　to　look　with　a　wistful　anxiety　into　the　faces　of　the　Christians　to　see　what　were　the　visible　signs　of　being　one　of　the　elect。　　John　put　on　a　good　deal　of　a　manner　that　he　〃did　n't　care；〃　and　he　never　admitted　his　disquiet　by　asking　any　questions　or　standing　up　in　meeting　to　be　prayed　for。　　But　he　did　care。　　He　heard　all　the　time　that　all　he　had　to　do　was　to　repent　and　believe。　　But　there　was　nothing　that　he　doubted；　and　he　was　perfectly　willing　to　repent　if　he　could　think　of　anything　to　repent　of。

It　was　essential　he　learned；　that　he　should　have　a　〃conviction　of　sin。〃　　This　he　earnestly　tried　to　have。　　Other　people；　no　better　than　he；　had　it；　and　he　wondered　why　he　could　n't　have　it。　　Boys　and　girls　whom　he　knew　were　〃under　conviction；〃　and　John　began　to　feel　not　only　panicky；　but　lonesome。　　Cynthia　Rudd　had　been　anxious　for　days　and　days；　and　not　able　to　sleep　at　night；　but　now　she　had　given　herself　up　and　found　peace。　　There　was　a　kind　of　radiance　in　her　face　that　struck　John　with　awe；　and　he　felt　that　now　there　was　a　great　gulf　between　him　and　Cynthia。　　Everybody　was　going　away　from　him；　and　his　heart　was　getting　harder　than　ever。　　He　could　n't　feel　wicked；　all　he　could　do。　　And　there　was　Ed　Bates）　his　intimate　friend；　though　older　than　he；　a　〃whaling；〃　noisy　kind　of　boy；　who　was　under　conviction　and　sure　he　was　going　to　be　lost。　　How　John　envied　him！　　And　pretty　soon　Ed　〃experienced　religion。〃　　John　anxiously　watched　the　change　in　Ed's　face　when　he　became　one　of　the　elect。　　And　a　change　there　was。　　And　John　wondered　about　another　thing。　　Ed　Bates　used　to　go　trout…　fishing；　with　a　tremendously　long　pole；　in　a　meadow　brook　near　the　river；　and　when　the　trout　didn't　bite　right　off；　Ed　wouldget　mad；〃　and　as　soon　as　one　took　hold　he　would　give　an　awful　jerk；　sending　the　fish　more　than　three　hu