a far country-第57章

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mother　gave　one　of　her　luncheon　parties；　on　my　return　from　school；　the
house　and　its　surroundings　wore　a　mysterious；　exciting　and　unfamiliar
look；　somehow　changed　by　the　simple　fact　that　guests　sat　decorously
chatting　in　a　dining…room　shining　with　my　mother's　best　linen　and
treasured　family　silver　and　china。　　The　atmosphere　of　my　wedding…day　is
no　less　vivid。　　The　house　of　Ezra　Hutchins　was　scarcely　recognizable：　its
doors　and　windows　were　opened　wide；　and　all　the　morning　people　were　being
escorted　upstairs　to　an　all…significant　room　that　contained　a　collection
like　a　jeweller's　exhibit；a　bewildering　display。　　There　was　a　massive
punch…bowl　from　which　dangled　the　card　of　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Adolf　Scherer；　a
really　wonderful　tea　set　of　old　English　silver　given　by　Senator　and　Mrs。
Watling；　and　Nancy　Willett；　with　her　certainty　of　good　taste；　had　sent　an
old　English　tankard　of　the　time　of　the　second　Charles。　　The　secret　was　in
that　room。　　And　it　magically　transformed　for　me　（as　I　stood；　momentarily
alone；　in　the　doorway　where　I　had　first　beheld　Maude）　the　accustomed
scene；　and　charged　with　undivined　significance　the　blue　shadows　under　the
heavy　foliage　of　the　maples。　　The　September　sunlight　was　heavy；　tinged
with　gold。。。。

So　fragmentary　and　confused　are　the　events　of　that　day　that　a　cubist
literature　were　necessary　to　convey　the　impressions　left　upon　me。　　I　had
something　of　the　feeling　of　a　recruit　who　for　the　first　time　is　taking
part　in　a　brilliant　and　complicated　manoeuvre。　　Tom　and　Susan　Peters　flit
across　the　view；　and　Gene　Hollister　and　Perry　Blackwood　and　the　Ewanses；…
…all　of　whom　had　come　up　in　a　special　car；　Ralph　Hambleton　was　〃best
man；〃　looking　preternaturally　tall　in　his　frock…coat：　and　his　manner；
throughout　the　whole　proceeding；　was　one　of　good…natured　tolerance　toward
a　folly　none　but　he　might　escape。

〃If　you　must　do　it；　Hughie；　I　suppose　you　must；〃　he　had　said　to　me。
〃I'll　see　you　through；　of　course。　　But　don't　blame　me　afterwards。〃

Maude　was　a　little　afraid　of　him。。。。

I　dressed　at　George's；　then；　like　one　of　those　bewildering　shifts　of　a
cinematograph；　comes　the　scene　in　church；　the　glimpse　of　my　mother's
wistful　face　in　the　front　pew；　and　I　found　myself　in　front　of　the　austere
Mr。　Doddridge　standing　beside　Maudeor　rather　beside　a　woman　I　tried
hard　to　believe　was　Maudeso　veiled　and　generally　encased　was　she。　　I
was　thinking　of　this　all　the　time　I　was　mechanically　answering　Mr。
Doddridge；　and　even　when　the　wedding　march　burst　forth　and　I　led　her　out
of　the　church。　　It　was　as　though　they　had　done　their　best　to　disguise
her；　to　put　our　union　on　the　other…worldly　plane　that　was　deemed　to　be
its　only　justification；　to　neutralize　her　sex　at　the　very　moment　it
should　have　been　most　enhanced。　　Well；　they　succeeded。　　If　I　had　not　been
as　conventional　as　the　rest；　I　should　have　preferred　to　have　run　away
with　her　in　the　lavender　dress　she　wore　when　I　first　proposed　to　her。　　It
was　only　when　we　had　got　into　the　carriage　and　started　for　the　house　and
she　turned　to　me　her　face　from　which　the　veil　had　been　thrown　back　that　I
realized　what　a　sublime　meaning　it　all　had　for　her。　　Her　eyes　were　wet。
Once　more　I　was　acutely　conscious　of　my　inability　to　feel　deeply　at
supreme　moments。　　For　months　I　had　looked　forward　with　anticipation　and
impatience　to　my　wedding…day。

I　kissed　her　gently。　　But　I　felt　as　though　she　had　gone　to　heaven；　and
that　the　face　I　beheld　enshrouded　were　merely　her　effigy。　　Commonplace
words　were　inappropriate；　yet　it　was　to　these　I　resorted。

〃Wellit　wasn't　so　bad　after　all！　　Was　it？〃

She　smiled　at　me。

〃You　don't　want　to　take　it　back？〃

She　shook　her　head。

〃I　think　it　was　a　beautiful　wedding；　Hugh。　　I'm　so　glad　we　had　a　good
day。〃。。。

She　seemed　shy；　at　once　very　near　and　very　remote。　　I　held　her　hand
awkwardly　until　the　carriage　stopped。

A　little　later　we　were　standing　in　a　corner　of　the　parlour；　the
atmosphere　of　which　was　heavy　with　the　scent　of　flowers；　submitting　to
the　onslaught　of　relatives。　　Then　came　the　wedding　breakfast：　croquettes；
champagne；　chicken　salad；　ice…cream；　the　wedding…cake；　speeches　and　more
kisses。。。。　　I　remember　Tom　Peters　holding　on　to　both　my　hands。

〃Good…bye；　and　God　bless　you；　old　boy；〃　he　was　saying。　　Susan；　in　view　of
the　occasion；　had　allowed　him　a　little　more　champagne　than　usualenough
to　betray　his　feelings；　and　I　knew　that　these　had　not　changed　since　our
college　days。　　I　resolved　to　see　more　of　him。　　I　had　neglected　him　and
undervalued　his　loyalty。。。。　　He　had　followed　me　to　my　room　in　George's
house　where　I　was　dressing　for　the　journey；　and　he　gave　it　as　his
deliberate　judgment　that　in　Maude　I　had　〃struck　gold。〃

〃She's　just　the　girl　for　you；　Hughie；〃　he　declared。　　〃Susan　thinks　so；
too。〃

Later　in　the　afternoon；　as　we　sat　in　the　state…room　of　the　car　that　was
bearing　us　eastward；　Maude　began　to　cry。　　I　sat　looking　at　her
helplessly；　unable　to　enter　into　her　emotion；　resenting　it　a　little。　　Yet
I　tried　awkwardly　to　comfort　her。

〃I　can't　bear　to　leave　them；〃　she　said。

〃But　you　will　see　them　often；　when　we　come　back；〃　I　reassured　her。　　It
was　scarcely　the　moment　for　reminding　her　of　what　she　was　getting　in
return。　　This　peculiar　family　affection　she　evinced　was　beyond　me；　I　had
never　experienced　it　in　any　poignant　degree　since　I　had　gone　as　a
freshman　to　Harvard；　and　yet　I　was　struck　by　the　fact　that　her　emotions
were　so　rightly　placed。　　It　was　natural　to　love　one's　family。　　I　began　to
feel；　vaguely；　as　I　watched　her；　that　the　new　relationship　into　which　I
had　entered　was　to　be　much　more　complicated　than　I　had　imagined。
Twilight　was　coming　on；　the　train　was　winding　through　the　mountain
passes；　crossing　and　re…crossing　a　swift　little　stream　whose　banks　were
massed　with　alder；　here　and　there；　on　the　steep　hillsides；　blazed　the
goldenrod。。。。　　Presently　I　turned；　to　surprise　in　her　eyes　a　wide；
questioning　look；the　look　of　a　child。　　Even　in　this　irrevocable　hour
she　sought　to　grasp　what　manner　of　being　was　this　to　whom　she　had
confided　her　life；　and　with　whom　she　was　faring　forth　into　the　unknown。
The　experience　was　utterly　unlike　my　anticipation。　　Yet　I　responded。　　The
kiss　I　gave　her　had　no　passion　in　it。

〃I'll　take　good　care　of　you；　Maude；〃　I　said。

Suddenly；　in　the　fading　light；　she　flung　her　arms　around　me；　pressing　me
tightly；　desperately。

〃Oh；　I　know　you　will；　Hugh；　dear。　　And　you'll　forgive　me；　won't　you；　for
being　so　horrid　to…day；　of　all　days？　　I　do　love　you！〃

Neither　of　us　had　ever　been　abroad。　　And　although　it　was　before　the　days
of　swimming…pools　and　gymnasiums　and　a　la　carte　cafes　on　ocean　liners；
the　Atlantic　was　imposing　enough。　　Maude　had　a　more　lasting　capacity　for
pleasure　than　I；　a　keener　enjoyment　of　new　experiences；　and　as　she　lay
beside　me　in　the　steamer…chair　where　I　had　carefully　tucked　her　she　would
exclaim：

〃I　simply　can't　believe　it；　Hugh！　　It　seems　so　unreal。　　I'm　sure　I　shall
wake　up　and　find　myself　back　in　Elkington。〃

〃Don't　speak　so　loud；　my　dear；〃　I　cautioned　her。　　There　were　some　very
formal…looking　New　Yorkers　next　us。

〃No；　I　won't；〃　she　whispered。　　〃But　I'm　so　happy　I　feel　as　though　I
should　like　to　tell　everyone。〃

〃There's　no　need；〃　I　answered　smiling。

〃Oh；　Hugh；　I　don't　want　to　disgrace　you！〃　she　exclaimed；　in　real　alarm。
〃Otherwise；　so　far　as　I　am　concerned；　I　shouldn't　care　who　knew。〃

People　smiled　at　her。　　Women　came　up　and　took　her　hands。　　And　on　the
fourth　day　the　formidable　New　Yorkers　unexpectedly　thawed。

I　had　once　thought　of　Maude　as　plastic。　　Then　I　had　discovered　she　had　a
mind　and　will　of　her　own。　　Once　more　she　seemed　plastic；　her　love　had
made　her　so。　　Was　it　not　what　I　had　desired？　　I　had　only　to　express　a
wish；　and　it　became　her　law。　　Nay；　she　appealed　to　me　many　times　a　day　to
know　whether　she　had　made　any　mistakes；　and　I　began　to　drill　her　in　my
silly　traditions；gently；　very　gently。

〃Well；　I　shouldn't　be　quite　so　familiar　with　people；　quite　so　ready　to
make　acquaintances；　Maude。　　You　have　no　idea　who　they　may　be。　　Some　of
them；　of　course；　like　the　Sardells；　I　know　by　reputation。〃

The　Sardells　were　the　New　Yorkers　who　sat　next　us。

〃I'll　try；　Hugh；　to　be　more