a far country-第12章
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drawn； the carpets were covered with festal canvas； the folding doors
between the square rooms were flung back； the prisms of the big
chandeliers flung their light over animated groups of matrons and
children。 Mrs。 Watling； the mother of the Watling twinstoo young to be
present was directing with vivacity the game of 〃King William was King
James's son；〃 and Mrs。 McAlery was playing the piano。
Now choose you East； now choose you West；
Now choose the one you love the best！〃
Tom Peters； in a velvet suit and consequently very miserable； refused to
embrace Ethel Hollister； while the scornful Julia lurked in a corner：
nothing would induce her to enter such a foolish game。 I experienced a
novel discomfiture when Ralph kissed Nancy。。。。 Afterwards came the
feast； from which Ham Durrett； in a pink paper cap with streamers； was at
length forcibly removed by his mother。 Thus early did he betray his love
for the flesh pots。。。。
It was not until I was sixteen that a player came and touched the keys of
my soul； and it awoke； bewildered； at these first tender notes。 The
music quickened； tripping in ecstasy； to change by subtle phrases into
themes of exquisite suffering hitherto unexperienced。 I knew that I
loved Nancy。
With the advent of longer dresses that reached to her shoe tops a change
had come over her。 The tomboy； the willing camp…follower who loved me
and was unashamed； were gone forever； and a mysterious； transfigured
being； neither girl nor woman； had magically been evolved。 Could it be
possible that she loved me still？ My complacency had vanished； suddenly
I had become the aggressor； if only I had known how to 〃aggress〃； but in
her presence I was seized by an accursed shyness that paralyzed my
tongue； and the things I had planned to say were left unuttered。 It was
somethingthough I did not realize itto be able to feel like that。
The time came when I could no longer keep this thing to myself。 The need
of an outlet； of a confidant； became imperative； and I sought out Tom
Peters。 It was in February； I remember because I had venturedwith
incredible daringto send Nancy an elaborate； rosy Valentine； written on
the back of it in a handwriting all too thinly disguised was the
following verse； the triumphant result of much hard thinking in school
hours：
Should you of this the sender guess
Without another sign；
Would you repent； and rest content
To be his Valentine
I grew hot and cold by turns when I thought of its possible effects on my
chances。
One of those useless； slushy afternoons； I took Tom for a walk that led
us； as dusk came on； past Nancy's house。 Only by painful degrees did I
succeed in overcoming my bashfulness； but Tom； when at last I had blurted
out the secret； was most sympathetic； although the ailment from which I
suffered was as yet outside of the realm of his experience。 I have used
the word 〃ailment〃 advisedly； since he evidently put my trouble in the
same category with diphtheria or scarlet fever； remarking that it was
〃darned hard luck。〃 In vain I sought to explain that I did not regard it
as such in the least； there was suffering； I admitted； but a degree of
bliss none could comprehend who had not felt it。 He refused to be
envious； or at least to betray envy； yet he was curious； asking many
questions； and I had reason to think before we parted that his admiration
for me was increased。 Was it possible that he； too； didn't love Nancy？
No； it was funny； but he didn't。 He failed to see much in girls： his
tone remained commiserating； yet he began to take an interest in the
progress of my suit。
For a time I had no progress to report。 Out of consideration for those
members of our weekly dancing class whose parents were Episcopalians the
meetings were discontinued during Lent； and to call would have demanded a
courage not in me； I should have become an object of ridicule among my
friends and I would have died rather than face Nancy's mother and the
members of her household。 I set about making ingenious plans with a view
to encounters that might appear casual。 Nancy's school was dismissed at
two； so was mine。 By walking fast I could reach Salisbury Street； near
St。 Mary's Seminary for Young Ladies； in time to catch her； but even then
for many days I was doomed to disappointment。 She was either in company
with other girls； or else she had taken another route； this I surmised
led past Sophy McAlery's house； and I enlisted Tom as a confederate。 He
was to make straight for the McAlery's on Elm while I followed Powell；
two short blocks away； and if Nancy went to Sophy's and left there alone
he was to announce the fact by a preconcerted signal。 Through long and
persistent practice he had acquired a whistle shrill enough to wake the
dead； accomplished by placing a finger of each hand between his teeth；a
gift that was the envy of his acquaintances； and the subject of much
discussion as to whether his teeth were peculiar。 Tom insisted that they
were； it was an added distinction。
On this occasion he came up behind Nancy as she was leaving Sophy's gate
and immediately sounded the alarm。 She leaped in the air； dropped her
school…books and whirled on him。
〃Tom Peters！ How dare you frighten me so！〃 she cried。
Tom regarded her in sudden dismay。
〃II didn't mean to；〃 he said。 〃I didn't think you were so near。〃
〃But you must have seen me。〃
〃I wasn't paying much attention；〃 he equivocated；a remark not
calculated to appease her anger。
〃Why were you doing it？〃
〃I was just practising；〃 said Tom。
〃Practising！〃 exclaimed Nancy； scornfully。 〃I shouldn't think you needed
to practise that any more。〃
〃Oh； I've done it louder；〃 he declared； 〃Listen！〃
She seized his hands； snatching them away from his lips。 At this
critical moment I appeared around the corner considerably out of breath；
my heart beating like a watchman's rattle。 I tried to feign nonchalance。
〃Hello； Tom；〃 I said。 〃Hello； Nancy。 What's the matter？〃
〃It's Tomhe frightened me out of my senses。〃 Dropping his wrists； she
gave me a most disconcerting look； there was in it the suspicion of a
smile。 〃What are you doing here； Hugh？〃
〃I heard Tom；〃 I explained。
〃I should think you might have。 Where were you？〃
〃Over in another street；〃 I answered； with deliberate vagueness。 Nancy
had suddenly become demure。 I did not dare look at her； but I had a most
uncomfortable notion that she suspected the plot。 Meanwhile we had begun
to walk along； all three of us； Tom； obviously ill at ease and
discomfited； lagging a little behind。 Just before we reached the corner
I managed to kick him。 His departure was by no means graceful。
〃I've got to go；〃 he announced abruptly； and turned down the side street。
We watched his sturdy figure as it receded。
〃Well； of all queer boys！〃 said Nancy； and we walked on again。
〃He's my best friend；〃 I replied warmly。
〃He doesn't seem to care much for your company；〃 said Nancy。
〃Oh； they have dinner at half past two；〃 I explained。
〃Aren't you afraid of missing yours； Hugh？〃 she asked wickedly。
〃I've got time。 I'dI'd rather be with you。〃 After making which
audacious remark I was seized by a spasm of apprehension。 But nothing
happened。 Nancy remained demure。 She didn't remind me that I had
reflected upon Tom。
〃That's nice of you； Hugh。〃
〃Oh； I'm not saying it because it's nice；〃 I faltered。 〃I'd rather be
with you thanwith anybody。〃
This was indeed the acme of daring。 I couldn't believe I had actually
said it。 But again I received no rebuke； instead came a remark that set
me palpitating； that I treasured for many weeks to come。
〃I got a very nice valentine；〃 she informed me。
〃What was it like？〃 I asked thickly。
〃Oh； beautiful！ All pink lace andand Cupids； and the picture of a young
man and a young woman in a garden。〃
〃Was that all？〃
〃Oh； no； there was a verse； in the oddest handwriting。 I wonder who sent
it？〃
〃Perhaps Ralph；〃 I hazarded ecstatically。
〃Ralph couldn't write poetry；〃 she replied disdainfully。 〃Besides； it
was v
