a far country-第111章
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〃Shall I drive you back to the Club； sir？〃 he inquired。
〃NoI'll walk back。 Wait a moment。〃 I entered the ear； turned on the
light and scribbled a hasty note to Andrews； the chairman of the meeting
at the National； telling him that I was too tired to speak again that
night； and to ask one of the younger men there to take my place。 Then I
got out of the car and gave the note to the chauffeur。
〃You're all right； sir？〃 he asked； with a note of anxiety in his voice。
He had been with me a long time。
I reassured him。 He started the car； and I watched it absently as it
gathered speed and turned the corner。 I began to walk； slowly at first；
then more and more rapidly until I had gained a breathless pace； in ten
minutes I was in West Street； standing in front of the Templar's Hall
where the meeting of the Citizens Union west in progress。 Now that I had
arrived there； doubt and uncertainty assailed me。 I had come as it were
in spite of myself； thrust onward by an impulse I did not understand；
which did not seem to be mine。 What was I going to do？ The proceeding
suddenly appeared to me as ridiculous； tinged with the weirdness of
somnambulism。 I revolted； walked away； got as far as the corner and
stood beside a lamp post； pretending to be waiting for a car。 The street
lights were reflected in perpendicular； wavy…yellow ribbons on the wet
asphalt； and I stood staring with foolish intentness at this phenomenon；
wondering how a painter would get the effect in oils。 Again I was
walking back towards the hall； combating the acknowledgment to myself
that I had a plan； a plan that I did not for a moment believe I would
carry out。 I was shivering。
I climbed the steps。 The wide vestibule was empty except for two men who
stopped a low…toned conversation to look at me。 I wondered whether they
recognized me； that I might be recognized was an alarming possibility
which had not occurred to me。
〃Who is speaking？〃 I asked。
〃Mr。 Krebs；〃 answered the taller man of the two。
The hum of applause came from behind the swinging doors。 I pushed them
open cautiously； passing suddenly out of the cold into the reeking；
heated atmosphere of a building packed with human beings。 The space
behind the rear seats was filled with men standing； and those nearest
glanced around with annoyance at the interruption of my entrance。 I made
my way along the wall； finally reaching a side aisle； whence I could get
sight of the platform and the speaker。
I heard his words distinctly； but at first lacked the faculty of
stringing them together； or rather of extracting their collective sense。
The phrases indeed were set ringing through my mind； I found myself
repeating them without any reference to their meaning； I had reached the
peculiar pitch of excitement that counterfeits abnormal calm； and all
sense of strangeness at being there in that meeting had passed away。 I
began to wonder how I might warn Krebs； and presently decided to send him
a note when he should have finished speakingbut I couldn't make up my
mind whether to put my name to the note or not。 Of course I needn't have
entered the hall at all： I might have sent in my note at the side door。
I must have wished to see Krebs； to hear him speak； to observe； perhaps；
the effect on the audience。 In spite of my inability to take in what he
was saying； I was able to regard him objectively；objectively； in a
restricted sense。 I noticed that he had grown even thinner； the flesh
had fallen away from under his cheek…bones； and there were sharp； deep；
almost perpendicular lines on either side of his mouth。 He was
emaciated； that was the word。 Once in a while he thrust his hand through
his dry； ashy hair which was of a tone with the paleness of his face。
Such was his only gesture。
He spoke quietly； leaning with one elbow against the side of his reading
stand。 The occasional pulsations of applause were almost immediately
hushed； as though the people feared to lose even a word that should fall
from his dry lips。 What was it he was talking about？ I tried to
concentrate my attention； with only partial success。 He was explaining
the new theory of city government that did not attempt to evade； but
dealt frankly with the human needs of to…day； and sought to meet those
needs in a positive way。。。 What had happened to me； though I did not
realize it； was that I had gradually come under the influence of a tragic
spell not attributable to the words I heard； existing independently of
them； pervading the spacious hall； weaving into unity dissentient minds。
And then； with what seemed a retarded rather than sudden awareness； I
knew that he had stopped speaking。 Once more he ran his hand through his
hair； he was seemingly groping for words that would not come。 I was
pierced by a strange agonythe amazing source of which； seemed to be a
smile on the face of Hermann Krebs； an ineffable smile illuminating the
place like a flash of light； in which suffering and tragedy； comradeship
and loving kindnessall were mingled。 He stood for a moment with that
smile on his faceswayed； and would have fallen had it not been for the
quickness of a man on the platform behind him； and into whose arms he
sank。
In an instant people had risen in their seats； men were hurrying down the
aisles； while a peculiar human murmur or wail persisted like an undertone
beneath the confusion of noises； striking the very note of my own
feelings。 Above the heads of those about me I saw Krebs being carried
off the platform。。。。 The chairman motioned for silence and inquired if
there were a physician in the audience； and then all began to talk at
once。 The man who stood beside me clutched my arm。
〃I hope he isn't dead！ Say； did you see that smile？ My God； I'll never
forget it！〃
The exclamation poignantly voiced the esteem in which Krebs was held。 As
I was thrust along out of the hall by the ebb of the crowd still other
expressions of this esteem came to me in fragments； expressions of sorrow
and dismay； of a loyalty I had not imagined。 Mingled with these were
occasional remarks of skeptics shaken； in human fashion； by the
suggestion of the inevitable end that never fails to sober and terrify
humanity。
〃I guess he was a bigger man than we thought。 There was a lot of sense
in what he had to say。〃
〃There sure was；〃 the companion of this speaker answered。
They spoke of him in the past tense。 I was seized and obsessed by the
fear that I should never see him again； and at the same moment I realized
sharply that this was the one thing I wantedto see him。 I pushed
through the people； gained the street； and fairly ran down the alley that
led to the side entrance of the hall； where a small group was gathered
under the light that hung above the doorway。 There stood on the step； a
little above the others； a young man in a grey flannel shirt； evidently a
mechanic。 I addressed him。
〃What does the doctor say？〃
Before replying he surveyed me with surprise and； I think； with
instinctive suspicion of my clothes and bearing。
〃What can he say？〃 he retorted。
〃You mean？〃 I began。
〃I mean Mr。 Krebs oughtn't never to have gone into this campaign；〃 he
answered； relenting a trifle； perhaps at the tone of my voice。 〃He knew
it； too； and some of us fellows tried to stop him。 But we couldn't do
nothing with him；〃 he added dejectedly。
〃What isthe trouble？〃 I asked。
〃They tell me it's his heart。 He wouldn't talk about it。〃
〃When I think of what he done for our union！〃 exclaimed a thick…set man；
plainly a steel worker。 〃He's just wore himself out； fighting that
crooked gang。〃 He stared with sudden aggressiveness at me。 〃Haven't I
seen you some…wheres？〃 he demanded。
A denial was on my lips when the sharp； sinister strokes of a bell were
heard coming nearer。
〃It's the ambulance；〃 said the man on the step。
Glancing up the alley beyond the figures of two policemen who had arrived
and were holding the people back； I saw the hood of the conveyance as it
came to a halt； and immediately a hospital doctor and two assistants
carrying a stretcher hurried towards us； and we made way for them to
enter。 After a brief interval
