the magic skin-第31章

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tried　not　to　show　her　joy；　but　her　eyes　sparkled。



〃　'I　needed　it　badly；'　I　said　as　I　sat　down。　（An　anxious　look　passed

over　her　face。）　'Do　you　remember　that　passage；　Pauline；　where　Bossuet

tells　how　God　gave　more　abundant　reward　for　a　cup　of　cold　water　than

for　a　victory？'



〃　'Yes；'　she　said；　her　heart　beating　like　some　wild　bird's　in　a

child's　hands。



〃　'Well；　as　we　shall　part　very　soon；　now；'　I　went　on　in　an　unsteady

voice；　'you　must　let　me　show　my　gratitude　to　you　and　to　your　mother

for　all　the　care　you　have　taken　of　me。'



〃　'Oh；　don't　let　us　cast　accounts；'　she　said　laughing。　But　her

laughter　covered　an　agitation　that　gave　me　pain。　I　went　on　without

appearing　to　hear　her　words：



〃　'My　piano　is　one　of　Erard's　best　instruments；　and　you　must　take　it。

Pray　accept　it　without　hesitation；　I　really　could　not　take　it　with　me

on　the　journey　I　am　about　to　make。'



〃Perhaps　the　melancholy　tones　in　which　I　spoke　enlightened　the　two

women；　for　they　seemed　to　understand；　and　eyed　me　with　curiosity　and

alarm。　Here　was　the　affection　that　I　had　looked　for　in　the　glacial

regions　of　the　great　world；　true　affection；　unostentatious　but　tender；

and　possibly　lasting。



〃　'Don't　take　it　to　heart　so；'　the　mother　said；　'stay　on　here。　My

husband　is　on　his　way　towards　us　even　now；'　she　went　on。　'I　looked

into　the　Gospel　of　St。　John　this　evening　while　Pauline　hung　our　door…

key　in　a　Bible　from　her　fingers。　The　key　turned；　that　means　that

Gaudin　is　in　health　and　doing　well。　Pauline　began　again　for　you　and

for　the　young　man　in　number　sevenit　turned　for　you；　but　not　for　him。

We　are　all　going　to　be　rich。　Gaudin　will　come　back　a　millionaire。　I

dreamed　once　that　I　saw　him　in　a　ship　full　of　serpents；　luckily　the

water　was　rough；　and　that　means　gold　or　precious　stones　from　over…

sea。'



〃The　silly；　friendly　words　were　like　the　crooning　lullaby　with　which　a

mother　soothes　her　sick　child；　they　in　a　manner　calmed　me。　There　was　a

pleasant　heartiness　in　the　worthy　woman's　looks　and　tones；　which；　if

it　could　not　remove　trouble；　at　any　rate　soothed　and　quieted　it；　and

deadened　the　pain。　Pauline；　keener…sighted　than　her　mother；　studied　me

uneasily；　her　quick　eyes　seemed　to　read　my　life　and　my　future。　I

thanked　the　mother　and　daughter　by　an　inclination　of　the　head；　and

hurried　away；　I　was　afraid　I　should　break　down。



〃I　found　myself　alone　under　my　roof；　and　laid　myself　down　in　my

misery。　My　unhappy　imagination　suggested　numberless　baseless　projects；

and　prescribed　impossible　resolutions。　When　a　man　is　struggling　in　the

wreck　of　his　fortunes；　he　is　not　quite　without　resources；　but　I　was

engulfed。　Ah；　my　dear　fellow；　we　are　too　ready　to　blame　the　wretched。

Let　us　be　less　harsh　on　the　results　of　the　most　powerful　of　all　social

solvents。　Where　poverty　is　absolute　there　exist　no　such　things　as

shame　or　crime；　or　virtue　or　intelligence。　I　knew　not　what　to　do；　I

was　as　defenceless　as　a　maiden　on　her　knees　before　a　beast　of　prey。　A

penniless　man　who　has　no　ties　to　bind　him　is　master　of　himself　at　any

rate；　but　a　luckless　wretch　who　is　in　love　no　longer　belongs　to

himself；　and　may　not　take　his　own　life。　Love　makes　us　almost　sacred　in

our　own　eyes；　it　is　the　life　of　another　that　we　revere　within　us；　then

and　so　it　begins　for　us　the　cruelest　trouble　of　allthe　misery　with　a

hope　in　it；　a　hope　for　which　we　must　even　bear　our　torments。　I　thought

I　would　go　to　Rastignac　on　the　morrow　to　confide　Foedora's　strange

resolution　to　him；　and　with　that　I　slept。



〃　'Ah；　ha！'　cried　Rastignac；　as　he　saw　me　enter　his　lodging　at　nine

o'clock　in　the　morning。　'I　know　what　brings　you　here。　Foedora　has

dismissed　you。　Some　kind　souls；　who　were　jealous　of　your　ascendency

over　the　countess；　gave　out　that　you　were　going　to　be　married。　Heaven

only　knows　what　follies　your　rivals　have　equipped　you　with；　and　what

slanders　have　been　directed　at　you。'



〃　'That　explains　everything！'　I　exclaimed。　I　remembered　all　my

presumptuous　speeches；　and　gave　the　countess　credit　for　no　little

magnanimity。　It　pleased　me　to　think　that　I　was　a　miscreant　who　had　not

been　punished　nearly　enough；　and　I　saw　nothing　in　her　indulgence　but

the　long…suffering　charity　of　love。



〃　'Not　quite　so　fast；'　urged　the　prudent　Gascon；　'Foedora　has　all　the

sagacity　natural　to　a　profoundly　selfish　woman；　perhaps　she　may　have

taken　your　measure　while　you　still　coveted　only　her　money　and　her

splendor；　in　spite　of　all　your　care；　she　could　have　read　you　through

and　through。　She　can　dissemble　far　too　well　to　let　any　dissimulation

pass　undetected。　I　fear；'　he　went　on；　'that　I　have　brought　you　into　a

bad　way。　In　spite　of　her　cleverness　and　her　tact；　she　seems　to　me　a

domineering　sort　of　person；　like　every　woman　who　can　only　feel

pleasure　through　her　brain。　Happiness　for　her　lies　entirely　in　a

comfortable　life　and　in　social　pleasures；　her　sentiment　is　only

assumed；　she　will　make　you　miserable；　you　will　be　her　head　footman。'



〃He　spoke　to　the　deaf。　I　broke　in　upon　him；　disclosing；　with　an

affectation　of　light…heartedness；　the　state　of　my　finances。



〃　'Yesterday　evening；'　he　rejoined；　'luck　ran　against　me；　and　that

carried　off　all　my　available　cash。　But　for　that　trivial　mishap；　I

would　gladly　have　shared　my　purse　with　you。　But　let　us　go　and

breakfast　at　the　restaurant；　perhaps　there　is　good　counsel　in

oysters。'



〃He　dressed；　and　had　his　tilbury　brought　round。　We　went　to　the　Cafe　de

Paris　like　a　couple　of　millionaires；　armed　with　all　the　audacious

impertinence　of　the　speculator　whose　capital　is　imaginary。　That　devil

of　a　Gascon　quite　disconcerted　me　by　the　coolness　of　his　manners　and

his　absolute　self…possession。　While　we　were　taking　coffee　after　an

excellent　and　well…ordered　repast；　a　young　dandy　entered；　who　did　not

escape　Rastignac。　He　had　been　nodding　here　and　there　among　the　crowd

to　this　or　that　young　man；　distinguished　both　by　personal　attractions

and　elegant　attire；　and　now　he　said　to　me：



〃　'Here's　your　man；'　as　he　beckoned　to　this　gentleman　with　a　wonderful

cravat；　who　seemed　to　be　looking　for　a　table　that　suited　his　ideas。



〃　'That　rogue　has　been　decorated　for　bringing　out　books　that　he

doesn't　understand　a　word　of；'　whispered　Rastignac；　'he　is　a　chemist；

a　historian；　a　novelist；　and　a　political　writer；　he　has　gone　halves；

thirds；　or　quarters　in　the　authorship　of　I　don't　know　how　many　plays；

and　he　is　as　ignorant　as　Dom　Miguel's　mule。　He　is　not　a　man　so　much　as

a　name；　a　label　that　the　public　is　familiar　with。　So　he　would　do　well

to　avoid　shops　inscribed　with　the　motto；　〃Ici　l'on　peut　ecrire　soi…

meme。〃　He　is　acute　enough　to　deceive　an　entire　congress　of

diplomatists。　In　a　couple　of　words；　he　is　a　moral　half…caste；　not

quite　a　fraud；　nor　entirely　genuine。　But；　hush！　he　has　succeeded

already；　nobody　asks　anything　further；　and　every　one　calls　him　an

illustrious　man。'



〃　'Well；　my　esteemed　and　excellent　friend；　and　how　may　Your

Intelligence　be？'　So　Rastignac　addressed　the　stranger　as　he　sat　down

at　a　neighboring　table。



〃　'Neither　well　nor　ill；　I　am　overwhelmed　with　work。　I　have　all　the

necessary　materials　for　some　very　curious　historical　memoirs　in　my

hands；　and　I　cannot　find　any　one　to　whom　I　can　ascribe　them。　It

worries　me；　for　I　shall　have　to　be　quick　about　it。　Memoirs　are　falling

out　of　fashion。'



〃　'What　are　the　memoirscontemporaneous；　ancient；　or　memoirs　of　the

court；　or　what？'



〃　'They　relate　to　the　Necklace　affair。'



〃　'Now；　isn't　that　a　coincidence？'　said　Rastignac；　turning　to　me　and

laughing。　He　looked　again　to　the　literary　speculation；　and　said；

indicating　me：



〃　'This　is　M。　de　Valentin；　one　of　my　friends；　whom　I　must　introduce　to

you　as　one　of　our　future　literary　celebrities。　He　had　formerly　an

aunt；　a　marquise；　much　in　favor　once　at　court；　and　for　about　two　years

he　has　been　writing　a　Royalist　history　of　the　Revolution。'



〃Then；　bending　over　this　singular　man　of　business；　he　went　on：



〃　'He　is　a