dream life and real life(梦境与现实)-第6章
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and his weaknesses； when they hurt you most？ If he were to lie a
querulous invalid for twenty years； would you be able to fold him in your
arms all that time； and comfort him； as a mother comforts her little child？〃
The woman drew her breath heavily。
〃Oh； I love him absolutely！ I would be glad to die； if only I could
once know that he loved me better than anything in the world！〃
The woman stood looking down at her。 〃Have you never thought of
that other woman； whether she could not perhaps make his life as perfect
as you？〃 she asked； slowly。
〃Oh； no woman ever could be to him what I would be。 I would live
for him。 He belongs to me。〃 She bent herself forward； not crying； but her
shoulders moving。 〃It is such a terrible thing to be a woman； to be able
to do nothing and say nothing！〃
The woman put her hand on her shoulder； the younger woman looked
up into her face； then the elder turned away and stood looking into the fire。
There was such quiet； you could hear the clock tick above the writing…
table。
The woman said： 〃There is one thing I can do for you。 I do not
know if it will be of any useI will do it。〃 She turned away。
〃Oh； you are so great and good； so beautiful； so different from other
women； who are always thinking only of themselves！ Thank you so
much。 I know I can trust you。 I couldn't have told my mother； or any
one but you。〃 〃Now you must go； I have my work to finish。〃
The younger woman put her arms round her。 〃Oh； you are so good
and beautiful！〃
The silk dress and the fur cloak rustled out of the room。
The woman who was left alone walked up and down； at last faster and
faster； till the drops stood on her forehead。 After a time she went up to
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the table； there was written illegibly in a man's hand on a fragment of
manuscript paper： 〃Can I come to see you this afternoon？〃 Near it was
a closed and addressed envelope。 She opened it。 In it were written the
words： 〃Yes； please； come。〃
She tore it across and wrote the words： 〃No； I shall not be at liberty。〃
She closed them in an envelope and addressed them。 Then she rolled
up the manuscript on the table and rang the bell。 She gave it to the
servant。 〃Tell the boy to give this to his master； and say the article ends
rather abruptly； they must state it is to be continued； I will finish it
tomorrow。 As he passes No。 20 let him leave this note there。〃 The
servant went out。 She walked up and down with her hands folded above
her head。
。。。
Two months after； the older woman stood before the fire。 The door
opened suddenly； and the younger woman came in。
〃I had to comeI couldn't wait。 You have heard； he was married this
morning？ Oh； do you think it is true？ Do help me！〃 She put out her
hands。
〃Sit down。 Yes； it is quite true。〃
〃Oh； it is so terrible； and I didn't know anything！ Did you ever say
anything to him？〃 She caught the woman's hands。
〃I never saw him again after the day you were here；so I could not
speak to him；but I did what I could。〃 She stood looking passively into
the fire。
〃And they say she is quite a child； only eighteen。 They say he only
saw her three times before he proposed to her。 Do you think it is true？〃
〃Yes； it is quite true。〃
〃He can't love her。 They say he's only marrying her for her rank and
her money。〃
The woman turned quickly。
〃What right have you to say that？ No one but I know him。 What
need has he of any one's rank or wealth？ He is greater than them all！
Older women may have failed him； he has needed to turn to her beautiful；
fresh； young life to compensate him。 She is a woman whom any man
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might have loved； so young and beautiful； her family are famed for their
intellect。 If he trains her； she may make him a better wife than any other
woman would have done。〃
〃Oh； but I can't bear itI can't bear it！〃 The younger woman sat
down in the chair。 〃She will be his wife； and have his children。〃
〃Yes。〃 The elder woman moved quickly。 〃One wants to have the
child； and lay its head on one's breast and feed it。〃 She moved quickly。
〃It would not matter if another woman bore it； if one had it to take care
of。〃 She moved restlessly。
〃Oh； no； I couldn't bear it to be hers。 When I think of her I feel as if I
were dying； all my fingers turn cold； I feel dead。 Oh； you were only his
friend； you don't know！〃
The older spoke softly and quickly； 〃Don't you feel a little gentle to her
when you think she's going to be his wife and the mother of his child？ I
would like to put my arms round her and touch her once； if she would let
me。 She is so beautiful； they say。〃
〃Oh； I could never bear to see her； it would kill me。 And they are so
happy together today！ He is loving her so！〃
〃Don't you want him to be happy？〃 The older woman looked down
at her。 〃Have you never loved him； at all？〃
The younger woman's face was covered with her hands。 〃Oh； it's so
terrible； so dark！ and I shall go on living year after year； always in this
awful pain！ Oh； if I could only die！〃
The older woman stood looking into the fire； then slowly and
measuredly she said； 〃There are times； in life； when everything seems dark；
when the brain reels； and we cannot see that there is anything but death。
But； if we wait long enough； after long； long years； calm comes。 It may
be we cannot say it was well； but we are contented； we accept the past。
The struggle is ended。 That day may come for you； perhaps sooner than
you think。〃 She spoke slowly and with difficulty。
〃No； it can never come for me。 If once I have loved a thing； I love it
for ever。 I can never forget。〃
〃Love is not the only end in life。 There are other things to live for。〃
〃Oh； yes； for you！ To me love is everything！〃
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〃Now； you must go； dear。〃
The younger woman stood up。 〃It has been such a comfort to talk to
you。 I think I should have killed myself if I had not come。 You help me
so。 I shall always be grateful to you。〃
The older woman took her hand。
〃I want to ask something of you。〃
〃What is it？〃
〃I cannot quite explain to you。 You will not understand。 But there
are times when something more terrible can come into a life than it should
lose what it loves。 If you have had a dream of what life ought to be； and
you try to make it real； and you fail； and something you have killed out in
your heart for long years wakes up and cries； 'Let each man play his
