dream life and real life(梦境与现实)-第5章
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there was not a rose to be bought for love or money。 Only in the garden
of a friend of mine； in a sunny corner between the oven and the brick wall；
there was a rose tree growing which had on it one bud。 It was white； and
it had been promised to the fair haired girl to wear at the party。
The evening came； when I arrived and went to the waiting…room； to
take off my mantle； I found the girl there already。 She was dressed in
pure white； with her great white arms and shoulders showing； and her
bright hair glittering in the candle…light； and the white rose fastened at her
breast。 She looked like a queen。 I said 〃Good…evening；〃 and turned away
quickly to the glass to arrange my old black scarf across my old black
dress。
Then I felt a hand touch my hair。
〃Stand still；〃 she said。
I looked in the glass。 She had taken the white rose from her breast；
and was fastening it in my hair。
〃How nice dark hair is； it sets off flowers so。〃 She stepped back and
looked at me。 〃It looks much better there！〃
I turned round。
〃You are so beautiful to me；〃 I said。
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〃Y…e…s；〃 she said； with her slow Colonial drawl； 〃I'm so glad。〃
We stood looking at each other。
Then they came in and swept us away to dance。 All the evening we
did not come near to each other。 Only once； as she passed； she smiled at
me。
The next morning I left the town。
I never saw her again。
Years afterwards I heard she had married and gone to America； it may
or may not be sobut the rosethe rose is in the box still！ When my
faith in woman grows dim； and it seems that for want of love and
magnanimity she can play no part in any future heaven； then the scent of
that small withered thing comes back：spring cannot fail us。
Matjesfontein； South Africa。
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III。 〃THE POLICY IN FAVOUR
OF PROTECTION〃。
Was it Right？Was it Wrong？
A woman sat at her desk in the corner of a room； behind her a fire
burnt brightly。
Presently a servant came in and gave her a card。
〃Say I am busy and can see no one now。 I have to finish this article
by two o'clock。〃
The servant came back。 The caller said she would only keep her a
moment： it was necessary she should see her。
The woman rose from her desk。 〃Tell the boy to wait。 Ask the lady
to come in。〃
A young woman in a silk dress； with a cloak reaching to her feet；
entered。 She was tall and slight； with fair hair。
〃I knew you would not mind。 I wished to see you so！〃
The woman offered her a seat by the fire。 〃May I loosen your cloak？…
…the room is warm。〃
〃I wanted so to come and see you。 You are the only person in the
world who could help me！ I know you are so large； and generous； and
kind to other women！〃 She sat down。 Tears stood in her large blue eyes：
she was pulling off her little gloves unconsciously。
〃You know Mr。〃 （she mentioned the name of a well…known writer）：
〃I know you meet him often in your work。 I want you to do something
for me！〃
The woman on the hearth…rug looked down at her。
〃I couldn't tell my father or my mother； or any one else； but I can tell
you； though I know so little of you。 You know； last summer he came and
stayed with us a month。 I saw a great deal of him。 I don't know if he
liked me； I know he liked my singing； and we rode togetherI liked him
more than any man I have ever seen。 Oh； you know it isn't true that a
woman can only like a man when he likes her； and I thought； perhaps； he
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liked me a little。 Since we have been in town we have asked； but he has
never come to see us。 Perhaps people have been saying something to
him about me。 You know him； you are always meeting him； couldn't you
say or do anything for me？〃 She looked up with her lips white and
drawn。 〃I feel sometimes as if I were going mad！ Oh； it is so terrible to
be a woman！〃 The woman looked down at her。 〃Now I hear he likes
another woman。 I don't know who she is； but they say she is so clever；
and writes。 Oh； it is so terrible； I can't bear it。〃
The woman leaned her elbow against the mantelpiece； and her face
against her hand。 She looked down into the fire。 Then she turned and
looked at the younger woman。 〃Yes；〃 she said； 〃it is a very terrible thing
to be a woman。〃 She was silent。 She said with some difficulty： 〃Are
you sure you love him？ Are you sure it is not only the feeling a young
girl has for an older man who is celebrated； and of whom every one is
talking？〃
〃I have been nearly mad。 I haven't slept for weeks！〃 She knit her
little hands together； till the jewelled rings almost cut into the fingers。
〃He is everything to me； there is nothing else in the world。 You； who are
so great； and strong； and clever； and who care only for your work； and for
men as your friends； you cannot understand what it is when one person is
everything to you； when there is nothing else in the world！〃
〃And what do you want me to do？〃
〃Oh； I don't know！〃 She looked up。 〃A woman knows what she can
do。 Don't tell him that I love him。〃 She looked up again。 〃Just say
something to him。 Oh； it's so terrible to be a woman； I can't do anything。
You won't tell him exactly that I love him？ That's the thing that makes a
man hate a woman； if you tell it him plainly。〃
〃If I speak to him I must speak openly。 He is my friend。 I cannot
fence with him。 I have never fenced with him in my own affairs。〃 She
moved as though she were going away from the fireplace； then she turned
and said： 〃Have you thought of what love is between a man and a
woman when it means marriage？ That long； long life together； day after
day； stripped of all romance and distance； living face to face： seeing each
other as a man sees his own soul？ Do you realize that the end of
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marriage is to make the man and woman stronger than they were； and that
if you cannot； when you are an old man and woman and sit by the fire； say；
'Life has been a braver and a freer thing for us； because we passed it hand
in hand； than if we had passed through it alone；' it has failed？ Do you
care for him enough to live for him； not tomorrow； but when he is an old；
faded man； and you an old； faded woman？ Can you forgive him his sins
and his weaknesses； when they hurt you most？ If he were to lie a
